Paper Fools (Hearts and Arrows Book 1)

by Staci Hart

  “So? They’re like two blocks away. Don’t be an eggroll blocker.” Kevin made lewd hip gestures.

  Kara laughed. “Come on, Roe. Kev wants to put his eggroll in the dumplings. Give him that.”

  “Fine,” Roe said, rolling his eyes. “Get the boy some extra duck sauce.”

  Lex made a list of what everyone wanted, and Kara placed the order, trying not to laugh as Kevin did his best to distract her by making up a song at the keyboard about King Kung Pao that involved a lot of giggling from the peanut gallery and Kevin wailing like James Brown.

  “You, sir, are an asshole,” Kara said, pointing at Kevin when she hung up. “And the food will be ready in ten minutes.”

  Dean pulled on his leather jacket and stood. “I’ll pick it up.”

  Kara hopped up and grabbed her jacket. “I’ll go with you.”

  Lex’s brows dropped, and she bit her lip.

  “Uh, sure.” Dean’s eyes darted to Lex.

  Kara held out her hand to Lex. “Come with.”

  “M’kay.” Lex’s eyes narrowed with suspicion as she pulled on her jacket, even more so when she caught Roe and Kara eyeballing each other. Lex half-expected him to get up and come with them, but he stayed where he was and folded his arms across his chest.

  What is going on with those two?

  Kara looked a little too innocent, and Lex shook her head as they walked to the door and out into the cool night. The street was still a little busy, even as late as it was. They hadn’t made it half a block before Kara stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to pat her back pockets and dig around in her bag.

  “Shit, guys. I forgot my phone.”

  Lex panicked at the thought of Kara leaving her alone with Dean. “We can wait for you.”

  Kara waved her off. “Forget it, just go on without me. We wouldn’t want to keep Kevin waiting. I’m still convinced that if he eats after midnight, he’ll turn into a monster.”

  Kara was already walking away with a smile, and Lex hesitated with one foot ready to run after Kara and the other aching to follow Dean. She stood there stupidly for a moment, warring with what to do, and before very long, the choice was made for her.

  She looked up at Dean, whose face was shrouded in shadows, and stuffed her hands in her pockets. “You realize she did that on purpose, right?”

  He chuckled as they turned and started walking again. “Yeah, but it took me a second to figure it out.”

  “Me too. For a minute, I thought she wanted to be alone with you.”

  “Oh?” He looked down at her, fighting a smile.

  She squirmed. “I mean, not that it wouldn’t be okay or whatever. I just mean—”

  “It’s okay. I know what you mean,” he said on a soft laugh.

  Lex sighed, feeling a little defeated. “Yeah, I’m sure you do. But I guess you get that all the time, right, Panty Dropper?”

  His hands were in his pockets, and he watched his feet as he walked. “I kind of do, yeah. But it’s different with you.”

  “Oh?” It was her turn to be amused, her eyebrow up with a smile as she baited him, but the feeling of trailing the dangerous edge sent a tingle up her back.

  He smiled a glorious smile that made her insides gooey. “Most girls don’t handle themselves like you do.”

  “And how’s that?”

  The look he gave her nearly made her stop, turn around, and run. “Like you have everything to lose. Like you see everything. Like you don’t realize how beautiful you are or what you do to the people around you.”

  She took a deep breath — ignoring the desire to ask him to tell her more — and said something she didn’t want to. “We shouldn’t be doing this, Dean.”

  “What? We haven’t done anything wrong.”

  “This. The flirting. The eyes. The staring. We have to stop. I’m with Travis.”

  “I know,” he said like it didn’t matter.

  “You and me, we can’t happen. You realize that, don’t you?”

  His shoulders sagged only a hair, his lips turning down just enough to betray him. “Yeah. I mean, of course.”

  Dita giggled as she wiggled her fingers, and Lex’s shoelaces came untied and hooked under her boot.

  “Okay,” Lex said, sounding sure and resolved enough that she almost believed herself. “I actually feel a lot better having gotten that out into the—whoamagod!” she said as she tripped and flew forward.

  Dean turned and caught her, and she found herself pressed to his chest, her cheeks flaming and a strand of hair across her face, looking up into bottomless green eyes that looked straight into her heart. He moved her hair, his fingers trailing across her skin like fire to tuck an errant lock behind her ear.

  He was so beautiful, the lines of his face so perfect, the angles so right and familiar, and when he leaned down, she closed her eyes, waiting, wishing for his lips.

  Those lips were about to brush hers when her eyes snapped open, and she pushed herself away.

  “God, I’m such a klutz,” she blustered as her mind exploded with thoughts. Tie your shoe, idiot. Look at the ground, don’t look at him. Oh my God. OH MY GOD. He almost kissed me. I wanted him to kiss me. What the fuck am I doing?

  She tied her shoe and stood, walking a little more briskly than before and with a few extra feet of space between them.

  “So,” she said, ready to change the subject and pretend like none of that had just happened, “you write poetry, but do you read poetry? And who do you like?”

  “Poe, Cummings—”

  “Wait, saying you like Cummings is like saying you’re into breathing, or that you love Stevie Wonder.”

  He laughed so loud that a passerby gave him a dirty look. “I still maintain that the most impressive thing Stevie Wonder ever did was learn to play the drums.”

  Dean pulled open the door, and she paused. “Wait, are you saying you don’t love Stevie Wonder?”

  He smiled crookedly. “I actually do love him. Who doesn’t love Stevie Wonder? He’s a goddamn national treasure.”

  “Well, that’s a relief. That would have been a deal-breaker,” she said absently as she walked past him.

  “You mean your boyfriend isn’t the deal-breaker?” he teased.

  She froze, and her mouth hung open in an O. She blushed again and snapped it shut. “No, I didn’t mean—”

  “It’s fine, Lex,” he said with a smile, and she died a thousand deaths of shame and torture waiting for Kevin’s eggrolls at the counter of the Shanghai Palace.

  They carried the bags of takeout back to the warehouse, chatting easily, and Lex was relieved that they had at least discussed their situation, put it all out in the open, and that they’d come to some sort of arrangement, no matter how fragile it seemed. No matter how much she was full of shit.

  Day Nine

  Dita paced in Elysium, waiting for Adonis, too wired to sit still.

  It had been days since she had been back to see him — she was still annoyed that he’d used sex to shut her up. So she’d taken a few days to calm down and collect herself, and so he could too. And hopefully today she could force some sort of resolution.

  He pushed through the underbrush, and when he saw her wound up, he held out his hands, approaching slowly, as if she were a wild thing, smiling in jest.

  She rolled her eyes, annoyed that she was amused.

  “Oh, do come here,” she said.

  He wrapped his arms around her. “I am sorry. Are you very angry with me?” he asked with his chin resting atop her head.

  “I am, yet here I stand.” She sighed, sated for the moment, her head against his chest. “Could we please speak? No fighting, no diversions.”

  “Yes, I promise.” He sat down, knowing she would need to talk until she said what she needed to say.

  She paced less vigorously and began her argument. “I know you cannot fathom forgiveness. I understand, as one who also has trouble with such matters, but I beg you to consider Apollo’s perspective.”

 
; He opened his mouth to speak, but she held up her hand. His mouth closed, and he slouched, sullen.

  “Just consider it. He has been alone for thousands of years, Adonis. So alone. I feel for him because I understand his loneliness. When I am not with you, when I am not here, I live the long hours of my life without you. If anything could be done to bring you back … anything … I would do it for you. Apollo’s sacrifice has been long and lonely. Should it stretch on for eternity, all because you cannot be compassionate?”

  His jaw set. “He murdered me. Can you not consider my perspective? He stole my life, and I have been banished to this world of dreams. My dreams are happy ones, but I still mourn the life I lost. How can I forgive him after so much has been taken from me?”

  “You are not the only one who has lost, Adonis.”

  Adonis huffed, shaking his head. “Of course you do not understand. How could you comprehend the loss of your life? You are immortal.”

  Her temper flared. “You had every chance to be immortal, yet you believed yourself to be above us. Have you ever considered what that choice meant for you? For me?”

  Adonis took a breath, relaxing as he calmed and stood to walk to her. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his forehead to hers. “I love you more than the moon loves the stars. I never wish to quarrel and never wish to hurt you. You play a game with Apollo, and should he win, the decision would be made for us. Let us wait and see what comes to pass.”

  She sighed, and the pressure in her chest lessened, her anger fading away from his touch, his words. “All right. We shall see.”

  He cupped her cheek and kissed her lovingly, and she was reassured, though she couldn’t stop wondering whether or not they would ever find a middle ground.

  Lex pulled open the heavy warehouse door and stepped in just as it swung closed behind her. Practice hadn’t started yet, and as she looked around her bangles at her big gold watch, it dawned on her that Travis wasn’t there yet.

  Crap.

  The hour before her shift had ended at the bookstore ticked by, but her replacement had come in early. Lex had been so psyched to get out of there that she didn’t even think she’d get to the warehouse before Travis or that, as her footfalls echoed in the open space, she would spot Dean bent over his notebook on the couch.

  They were alone.

  She paused.

  Dean hadn’t moved, and she considered trying to back out and wait outside for Travis. But she shook her head — it would be more awkward if she were standing outside in the cold than if she were inside talking to Dean. So Lex tugged the hem of her leather jacket down and twisted the end of her high ponytail as she steeled herself and walked toward him, preparing to resist him and secretly hoping he would persist.

  Lex rounded the couch, and Dean jumped, green eyes bugging. He popped his earbuds out with a harried smile. “Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me.”

  She smiled back. “Sorry.”

  She wasn’t sorry.

  Lex took off her bag and sat down next to him, looking over his shoulder. “What are you working on? Lyrics?” Her stomach flipped, chastising herself for doing exactly what she hated for people to do to her. It was so personal, and her cheeks flushed.

  “Yeah,” he answered, not hesitating at all as he angled to offer his notebook over. He placed the notebook in her open palm.

  Her heart thundered as she flipped through page after page, crammed with lyrics in his small, slanted handwriting, her eyes drinking in his words like they’d fill her up.

  “Dean, this is extraordinary.” She looked up at him earnestly, her eyes big and bright, and she felt his pull again as their faces came together like magnets.

  Dean stopped, shaking himself, breaking the connection. He looked down as he took his book from her hands. “I … uh, I think we have the same notebook.” He held it up.

  “I noticed that too.” Lex’s hands shook as she turned to rummage in her bag for her notebook.

  Oh, shit. She’d almost kissed him again. Her pulse thumped in her ears along with ringing alarms, telling her to run. The problem was, she wanted to run toward them instead of away, like she was supposed to.

  She held her notebook up, which was exactly the same as his, and they smiled at each other.

  “I showed you mine, so technically, it’s your turn,” he said with a smile.

  She extended her notebook, and he took it, setting his down between them in the same motion. Lex watched as he opened it, her eyes trailing from his brows down the ridge of his nose and across his lips. Her heart fluttered as her gaze moved to his bicep that rippled under the tight sleeve of his T-shirt. She noticed his tattoo, not for the first time, a half-sleeve that extended to his elbow. She’d never seen it up close and leaned forward to get a better look.

  A pinup mermaid floated in the moving ocean, and the sea and fish wrapped around her as she sang, her red hair swirling in a current around her. Lex almost reached out to push his shirtsleeve up so that she could see the rest, but caught herself, clasping her hands in her lap so they’d behave.

  Dean leaned back into the couch, lingering over one of her poems written around a sketch of a girl lying on a chaise. Her arm and hair hung down, and a tear spilled down her cheek. The poem looked like her breath leaving her body.

  Up and down

  Emotion pulls

  My soul

  Like lily-white thighs

  Lying still sometimes

  Motionless, beautiful.

  Running hard sometimes

  Tired, burning.

  Dancing sometimes

  Release of joy.

  Always there

  Like the beating of my heart

  Steady, strong

  Ever present

  Never failing

  Pushing me onward.

  Her words written on the page were alive in his heart, and he knew them. Somehow, he knew.

  The metal warehouse door clanged shut, and Dean jumped, dropping her book onto the couch as Roe and Travis walked in. Her eyes were locked on him as she put her notebook in her bag, and his cheeks burned hot as he hurried to his guitar, slinging it on and turning his focus to his tuning gears, frustrated and overwhelmed.

  Dean wanted to kiss her. He wanted to read every word in her notebook. He wanted to know her. He wanted her.

  And he could never have her.

  So instead, he sang to her, told her the secrets of his heart by way of the guitar in his hand and the microphone at his lips, wishing with every breath that things were different.

  Hours later, after practice was over, Lex stepped into the darkness of her apartment, clicked on the light, and dropped her keys into the bowl by the door with a jangle.

  Travis followed her into the living room and stretched, leaning back as he yawned. “I’m beat. You staying up?”

  Lex was already on the couch, digging around in her bag for her notebook. “For a bit.”

  He scooped up her keys and rolled her tiny Magic 8 Ball keychain between his palms as he closed his eyes. “Am I getting laid tonight?” He opened his eyes and hands. “My sources say no. Well, shit.”

  “Sounds like fate’s just not on your side,” she said, amused. “Sleep tight.”

  “All right. Night.” Travis kissed her forehead before he turned for the bedroom.

  Her fingers finally closed around her notebook, and she pulled it out of her bag, but her brows gathered in confusion as she flipped it over. It looked wrong, though she couldn’t put her finger on exactly why.

  Until she opened it.

  Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit.

  She had Dean’s notebook, which meant …

  Lex grabbed her bag and frantically felt around before dumping the contents onto the couch. She stared at the pile with her mouth open and her face blank.

  He had hers.

  She pinched the bridge of her nose and squinched her eyes closed. Okay, pull yourself together. Maybe he won’t read it.

  But if he did? Dean
was smart enough to figure out which poems in her notebook were about him, she was certain. Not to mention she’d sketched him. Like, a lot.

  Fuck. She touched her lips, horrified.

  He would know for absolute certain how she felt the second he opened her notebook.

  She looked back at Dean’s notebook as it lay on the couch and picked it up like it was made of glass. He had invited her to read it, but that was with him sitting there watching. Could she justify reading it without his permission?

  Lex chewed her lip as she mindlessly flipped through the pages, pausing on one in particular that was crammed with lyrics. Once she started reading, she couldn’t tear herself away as his heart and soul and pain spoke to her with every word, and she sat back into the couch with wide eyes, where she stayed until the small hours of the morning.

  Apollo sat on the couch, stunned, though he was sure he looked relaxed, like he didn’t care, his face an apathetic mask. Inside, he was dumbfounded as he watched Dita fist pump and jump out of her chair. She trotted over to him and bent into his face with pink cheeks and twinkling eyes.

  “YES! Yes! BOOM, muthafucka.” Dita bounced around the room crowing with her blond hair swaying behind her. She stopped only to do the cabbage patch around the living room, likely the only being in the universe who looked sexy doing it. “That’s right; I did it, I did it.”

  She started pacing as she yammered. “Oh, man, that was so awesome. Did you see that? I mean, I kick so much ass at this game that I don’t know why you dum dums keep challenging me.”

  She kept talking, and he sat there repeating in his head, I’m going to win. Let her go, I’m going to win.

  It wasn’t like she actually expected an answer anyway, which was good because he couldn’t give one without blowing up on her.

  “Seriously, you do realize I got the girl who took over Lex’s shift at the bookstore early? I even had the train operator blowing through stops, holding doors for like three seconds before he took off because he had a hot date to get to. And then, when Lex got there—” she rambled, switching gears so fast she barely made sense, “— and oh, man, did you see when they almost kissed? And right when Lex was about to look at what book she grabbed, BAM. His sex appeal caught her like a bug in a spiderweb. I own sex appeal.”