The Truth About Us

by Megan D. Martin

  I stayed away from Rowan. I had to. Evie and I were on one side of our group, and she and Owen on the other side with Stacie and her date. It was for the best. Even so, I couldn’t help that my gaze kept wandering over to her, watching her rock to the music with hungry eyes. That’s what they were. Hungry. I couldn’t seem to help it.

  It’s okay to find your friends attractive.

  For once, my internal thoughts reassured me. I watched her dance around with Stacie, and slow dance with Owen from the corner of my eye. There were bodies all around us mixed with theirs, dancing in time with the music. I danced too, with Evie, who insisted on rubbing her ass in my crotch over and over like we were at some sort of club. I didn’t say anything, just moved with her, running my hands along her bare waist of perfectly tanned skin. I tried to force myself to focus on her, on her movements. The sexy words she whispered in my ear. But my mind was elsewhere. I didn’t want it to be, but it was almost like I had no control, no choice in the matter. My body, my mind, wanted to look at Rowan.

  The concert had nearly reached its end, when the first few beats of the song came on. Not just any song, the song. I hadn’t actually thought about this song when I picked Lee Brice. I’d taken the song off all my playlists over a year ago and I hadn’t heard it since.

  An ache exploded in my chest as my head swung to meet Rowan’s gaze. Her sad eyes met mine in the same instant. There was no excitement, no more animation like I’d seen all night – only hurt. I hadn’t forgotten and neither had she. When Lee Brice launched into the lyrics of Love Like Crazy, I watched as she said something to Owen and quickly hurried through the crowd. Owen didn’t look bothered, just nodded and smiled after her.

  I used to sing this to her in the car. She had it on her playlist and I would belt the words at the top of my lungs every time, and she would laugh, humoring me, even though I was not a good singer. But I had loved her, and that was the point. She could feel that love, all the time, but this song had been some sort emulate for it. I had quoted it to her on many occasions whispering the words in her ear, telling her that I would love her, like crazy, forever and ever and nothing could ever change that.

  Something had changed that, though. There was a reason we weren’t here together. She had cheated on me, she had broken that love. I hadn’t.

  Then why do I feel like shit right now?

  I didn’t have answer for that. I didn’t know why I let my legs carry me forward out of the crowd and after Rowan. I didn’t know what I was doing, what I was going to say when I found her.

  I would figure that out when I got to her.

  I needed to get away from that freaking song. I had known he would play it. I had considered it when Tyler invited us to go. But I’d assumed that it wouldn’t bother me. I was dating Owen now, things were going well. He was nice and we had fun for the most part. Plus, Stacie was coming with Chad, the guy she had met at the bar the same night I met Owen. I could handle hearing mine and Tyler’s song. After all, we were friends, right? It should have been simple.

  It wasn’t simple though. The moment he walked up with Evie’s dainty hand clutched in his muscular one, with all her platinum perfection, something ugly and nasty had reared its head inside me. I hadn’t seen her since the pool party, which had been almost two months ago, maybe longer. Her existence in connection with Tyler had become secondary, something I didn’t have to think about because it didn’t affect our new friendship. I realized tonight that I was wrong. Even though I’d been having a great time being around Tyler, doing so while he was with someone else was something difficult for me to swallow.

  I tried to put a brave face on it. I had almost succeeded, but then that fucking song came on, so now I was on my way to the restroom to wait until it finished. I just couldn’t be there with Lee Brice singing our song, in person, with Tyler a few feet away and those emotions and memories of our love still dwelling in my heart. It was too much for me.

  As I moved through the crowd of people outside the stage area, most of them milling about in concession stand and swag lines, I could see the bathrooms not far off. A small sign pointed to a wooded path. I let out a sigh of relief. Lee Brice’s deep voice still boomed around me, but a feeling of reprieve had already started to snake its way through me.

  “Hey!” Someone called out, and a hand grabbed my arm whirling me around. Some part of me expected it to be Tyler.

  It wasn’t.

  It was some guy I didn’t recognize. He was taller than me, close to Tyler’s height, with light messy hair and a beer in his free hand. “You’re fucking sexy.” His words slurred.

  “I don’t know you.” I attempted to pull my wrist from his grasp, but he held on tight.

  “I know. I wanna get to know you, you pretty, pretty lady.” He leaned in, pulling me toward him, the scent of beer and sweat evaded my nostrils.

  “Hey, let me go!” I spoke louder this time, jerking my hard on his grip. He still didn’t budge, stronger than I realized.

  “Don’t play like that baby girl, I’m jussssst trying to get to know you.” He gave me a smile and jerked me forward, sending me tripping into his chest as he jerked me backward into some secluded trees off the path we were on. “That’s more like it. I knew you would come around.” He let go of my wrist and grabbed my ass with his sloppy, meaty hand as I desperately tried to push him away.

  “Let go of her, you piece of shit!” Tyler’s voice came like music to my ears, just as the sharp thud of a fist hitting a face removed me from the stranger’s grasp. He stumbled backward, tripping over his feet, his half-full beer spilling all over him as he tumbled to the ground.

  “What the fuck, man?” The drunk guy ambled to his feet. “What the hell? Mind your own fucking business. Me and my girl were having a good time.”

  This stranger meant me, even though he didn’t even know me.

  “She’s not your fucking girl, you asshole.” Tyler lunged at him again, but not before I saw the expression on his face. Anger, fury, rage, they all mingled together. Tyler’s fists rained down on the guy that assaulted me, sending a rush of blood from his nose. The guy barely fought back, too wasted to even attempt anything.

  “Tyler, stop!” I jerked on his arm. People had started to notice the commotion just back in trees off the path to the restrooms. “He’s down. You don’t have to hit him anymore.”

  My voice seemed to break through to Tyler, and he stopped, his fists no longer pummeling the asshole on the ground. The guy moaned and rolled over on his side, desperately trying to scramble up, before making a half-limp, half-run away from us.

  “Shit, Tyler. Thank you. I don’t know what happened. He just came out of nowhere. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I’m just—”

  Tyler pulled me into his hard chest, his arms looping around my back. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” He spoke the words against my head, the warmth of his breath sending a shiver down my spine.

  I realized I was shaking. “I’m fine. He didn’t hurt me. Just scared me is all.”

  “That fucking asshole. How dare he put his hands on you.” The anger in his voice was reminiscent of old times, when Tyler was mine and I his to protect. Our Lee Brice song had ended by now and he was singing another song, that moment of memories had passed. I pulled back.

  “Thanks, Tyler, really.” I moved to take a step back, but his arms were still around me, my chest still pressed against his.

  “Tell me the truth, Rowan. I didn’t give you the chance before in my office, but I want to know it now.” His green eyes peered down at me, lost somewhere between rage and desperation.

  I opened my mouth, but words, they evaded me. I could remember feeling so certain, ready to tell him the truth, at least part of it that day. But it had been so long ago. So much had happened, I was seeing someone else now…and Dad had died. I had accepted that the truth was something unnecessary and unobtainable when it came to Tyler and I.

  “There’s this voice in my head, Rowan, it’s telling me not to
look back. Never look back, but I can’t seem to fucking help it when it comes to you.”

  I stared up at him, at the scruff on his cheeks. The way his hair seemed to lay perfectly styled on top of his head, like some sort of magazine model. This was what I had wanted. I had wanted him to give me a chance, just hear me out, hear my truth, whether he believed it or not.

  “I – I,” but the words just wouldn’t come out. Was this how I wanted him to know? With Owen and Evie waiting for us just across the way? “I didn’t cheat on you, Tyler.” I took a deep breath and pulled out of his arms. “I didn’t cheat on you with Darren, like I let you believe.” There they were. The words. The ones I’d wanted to tell him. I hadn’t said those words out loud, that I cheated on Tyler with Darren – no, I had let Tyler see it for himself, but even speaking them made me feel sick.

  “But I saw the video of you – you with him.”

  “I know, but it wasn’t me. It was–”

  “Then who did you cheat on me with?”

  I shook my head. “No one.”

  “Then—”

  But I never found out what Tyler was going to say because Evie and Owen found us there just along the treeline. We weren’t hiding from anyone. No. We were in plain sight Tyler and I.

  “What’s going on?” The words came from Evie.

  I glanced at her and back at Tyler, who launched quickly into the story about the guy who attacked me.

  “Where the hell is he?” Owen asked at the end of the story. His head swiveling.

  “He was the dude limping with a bloody nose.”

  “Let’s go find him,” Owen said, his arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders. “Are you okay?”

  I nodded and swallowed, not missing the daggers Tyler’s gaze threw at Owen’s display of affection. “I don’t want there to be any more fighting. It was scary enough as it was. I’m just glad he’s gone.”

  “Well, at least all that unpleasantness is over,” Evie drew everyone’s attention back to her. There was a triumphant sneer on her face, it was a ‘gotcha’ face if I’d ever seen one. I frowned at her. “Now for the next wave of unpleasantness.” Her lips spread, revealing a sinister smile. “Did you hear the news babe?” She pressed her freshly manicured nails against Tyler’s chest.

  “Hm?” His gaze never breaking from mine. It was the look that said our conversation wasn’t finished, not yet.

  “Owen’s leaving the shop to work for Rowan at Steel. Aren’t you so happy for him?” She glanced at me, the sarcasm in her voice heavy.

  “Dammit, Evie. I wanted to tell him myself, and not tonight.” Owen sighed, clearly irritated.

  As it turned out, Dad had left me ownership of the shop. The first thing I wanted to do was fire Darren, but I couldn’t, because we needed all the manpower we could get until we had some decent technicians back. On a date with Owen last week, I had asked him if it was something he could be interested in, especially since we needed the help right now. I had always helped my dad with the business, but had never been responsible for all the moving pieces without him. It was overwhelming. I knew Tyler wouldn’t like it, but I thought he would be more understanding because of the circumstances, and especially since we were friends now.

  Tyler frowned, his gaze jumping to Owen. “Are you kidding me?”

  Owen shook his head. “I’m sorry, man. This isn’t how I wanted you to find out. I was gonna talk to you about it this week. Rowan really needs help at her Dad’s shop. They’re really short-handed and I said I would come work for them so they don’t go under.”

  “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” Tyler’s heated words were targeted at me, his hand firmly wrapped around Evie’s waist now, yet moments before it had been me he hadn’t wanted to let go of.

  “Plan?”

  “Yeah, your plan, Rowan.” He scoffed. “You planned this all along, from that night you met Owen in the bar and claimed to have no idea who he was. I accused you of doing exactly this, trying to poach my good technicians, and you denied it with your fucking innocence. I believed you!” The fury in his voice sucked the breath out of me.

  “It’s not like that.” Even though it was, sort of. I had never been one hundred percent certain about asking Owen to work for us. I’d been considering it to get out of what Dad wanted – me to work things out with Tyler – but after Dad passed I realized I had to do something or lose everything. Owen was the most convenient option. “Our business is falling apart. We’re too short-handed to take in any serious work. You should understand that, especially with Dad’s—”

  “Oh, fucking save it, Rowan. I’m tired of your pity parties and your faked innocence. I can’t believe I had the nerve to believe you.”

  I knew his words got at more than just this situation with Owen. I knew he meant the words I had spoken just minutes before when we were alone. The caring Tyler who had been concerned about me was gone, lost now.

  “You’re just a lying slut.”

  “Hey, Tyler, fucking watch it man. Don’t talk about her like that.” Owen piped up, stepping in the space that separated Tyler and I.

  “Oh, that’s rich.” Tyler’s shoulders shook with mock laughter while Evie smiled happily at his side. “You don’t even know her. You don’t know the kind of deceptions this girl will go to, to get what she wants. She’s fucking with your head, using you to steal you away from working for me.”

  “Shut the fuck up, man. I’m serious. I’m pretty tired of you anyway. You and Vic both. The way you treat Rowan? She’s been through a lot man, and she just needs some help.”

  “Sure, whatever Owen, you wouldn’t be so willing to take a pay cut and help if she wasn’t paying you with her pussy.”

  The words, all the words. They cut through me like a knife – a hot, blistering knife. I was immediately reminded of that night so long ago when Tyler got his promotion at the shop, when Darren accused him of the same thing – that me, my body, was some sort of trophy that moved men up in the world. In that instance, Tyler had stood up for me, and now he was my aggressor, even though minutes before he had been the one interested in saving me.

  Life was weird, I decided. Life didn’t make sense, and things could change so quickly – more quickly than I liked. I just wanted people to like me. I didn’t want anyone to argue or call anyone names, especially not me. I just wanted to exist, to be happy. That’s all I wanted, that’s what I had wanted for Tyler – to hurt him so he could end up happy.

  Owen and Tyler lunged at each other the same time. Evie was pushed unceremoniously to the side, where she started screaming, her tube top pushed askew nearly revealing a nipple. Distraught, she covered her face, but the guys didn’t seem to care as they began wailing on each other, a tangle of limbs in the grass.

  I didn’t cry out like Evie, like some sort of baby. There was something numb inside me, the feeling stretched from my head to my toes. I didn’t have any feelings anymore. All I’d ever wanted was to please everyone, and I supposed that was my first and most tragic mistake. One person couldn’t please everyone. I’d set Tyler free the only way I knew how. I’d bent over backward my whole life trying to please my dad, doing everything to keep him happy. Ultimately, I had ended up the unhappiest, and everyone had seemed disappointed in me, as if I hadn’t made the hard choices, the sacrifices for their contentment. Sure, they may not have known about them, but I thought, by now, the universe would have thrown me some sort of bone.

  That wasn’t the case, and I was tired. My body, my mind, I was tired of all this bullshit. I just wanted to go home, to get away from everyone and be with my cat, alone. I didn’t say anything as I left the fight between Owen and Tyler, and the sounds of Evie’s shrieking behind. I didn’t look back, just moved through the crowds until I found Stacie and Chad.

  They were back in front of the stage, Lee Brice’s melodic voice surrounding all of us.

  “Stace, I need to get the fuck out of here.” I leaned in and said against her ear.

  “What
happened?”

  “I’ll explain in the car. Can I get a ride with you guys?”

  Stacie nodded quickly, not batting an eye. The concert was almost over and this time, she wasn’t drunk out of her mind. She and Chad seemed totally fine with giving me a ride home a little early.

  As we moved toward the exit of the standing area a hand grabbed my shoulder. I turned around, meeting Vic’s dark gaze.

  “Where are y’all going? Where’s Ty and everyone else?”

  I didn’t want to talk to him. I had absolutely nothing to say to anyone right now, much less Victor. I shrugged and turned away from him.

  He grabbed my shoulder harder. “No, for real, what’s going on?” He spoke the words forcefully against my ear.

  I still didn’t respond. Just stared back at him letting the numbness take over every segment of my body.

  Victor’s eyes narrowed. “What the fuck did you do, Rowan?”

  His words broke through the haze, like slap in the face. This was exactly the treatment I didn’t deserve, especially from Victor who had never liked me. “I didn’t do shit, Victor. Now get your hand off me.” I jerked back away from him.

  He let go of me, but that sinister, hate-filled look covered his face – the look he reserved only from me. “Don’t lie to me, you slut!” he shouted over the music. “You act like some sort of innocent little girl, but I saw through you the first time I ever laid eyes on you. It was easy for me because I wasn’t some lovestruck puppy desperate for your pussy like everyone else. I saw you for the disgusting, backstabbing whore that you are!”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about, you asshole! You never gave me a chance. You’ve always hated me for no reason!”

  “No reason? How about the fact that you swooped in took my best friend away and ruined his life? Is that not a good enough reason?” Victor’s cheeks were red.