The Dance

by Suzie Carr

  Jacky tilted her head as if searching her mind for the right problem.

  “Do you have it?”

  “I have it.”

  “Good, now squeeze that problem in between your hands with all the power you have within.”

  She gazed down at Jacky’s hands. They pressed against each other.

  “Take control over it.” Brooke hesitated, letting the exercise sink in. “You have the power. It has no power.”

  She nodded.

  “Jacky,” she spoke softly. “You need to forgive yourself so you can move forward.” She dropped her voice by a few tones. “The fields of change are upon you, calling out to you from the far reaches of the deepest forests where all sadness and regret live. That is their home. This is your home,” she punctuated. “Right here, where your friends and family are.”

  Jacky’s breaths relaxed.

  “You’re free to explore the opposite side of regret and sadness. You must. It’s your right to experience all the emotions you’re outfitted to receive.”

  Jacky sighed, as if struck by disbelief.

  Brooke swept forward. “You’re free to tiptoe into the landscape, and when you do, you’ll remain safe. All you need to do to come back is turn over your shoulder, and you’ll once again be right here in this spot, under the sun, and in the pocket of friendship and love.”

  Jacky’s shoulders rose and fell - a good sign she discovered her safety spot.

  “Your life is made up of a series of hills and valleys. Everyone experiences both of them. You’re not alone. Everyone who has ever walked by your side, in front of you or behind, has also entered into a journey that has hills and valleys similar, but unique to their own experience.”

  Jacky sniffled.

  “These hills and valleys can teach us important things if we’re willing to stay open to their lessons. Sometimes you’re the teacher of them and other times the student. We’re all connected. We all matter. You matter, Jacky.”

  A single tear rolled down Jacky’s cheek.

  Brooke began to speak slower and even softer. “You’re glowing. Your entire body is vibrating a new energy, one that radiates hope and peace to you and to everyone within your reach. It’s a vital energy because it heals. It heals your heart, blessing it with an empathetic connection that smooths over all callouses caused by mistakes and hardships.”

  A peace swept across Jacky’s face.

  “You’re filled with a gratitude for all life has gifted you with. There’s so much to be thankful for. You have many gifts and you share those with so many. You’re a teacher and a mentor. Where your heart bleeds, it will heal and be able to stay open, letting in the love and forgiveness you deserve.”

  Jacky’s eyelids trembled.

  Brooke lifted her voice to match the joyful emotion she wanted Jacky to experience. “See yourself happy. Stay open and loving. Embrace the day and all its lessons, taking them into your heart as nourishment for your revived soul.”

  A small cry escaped from Jacky.

  “It’s time to forgive yourself, Jacky.”

  Brooke drew a restful breath to deliver the next important point. “You are meant for a great life, and Drew wants that for you.”

  “Hmm.” Jacky’s mouth lifted ever-so-slightly into a smile.

  “Today is a new day. You’ve got a clean slate ready to be filled with the flow of everything good in this world. You’re tapped into the power of the universe, to the healing light that refuels your spirit.”

  Brooke enjoyed the peaceful veneer on Jacky’s face. “Whether you’re sitting in the valley or on a hill, you can connect to this light. It’s yours.”

  She nodded.

  “You’re safe here. You’re here in the warmth of this room. Your mind is clear and peaceful now. Your breathing is calm and your heart is open. You’re back here in the safety and comfort of this space where you’re free to be you, a woman who loves deeply, cares immensely, and projects an enormous amount of good energy.”

  Brooke massaged her hair back for one last sweep.

  “When you’re ready, open your eyes and enjoy the freedom.”

  Jacky blinked, opening them ever so slowly.

  Brooke gazed down at her, enjoying the look of peace in her warm, moist eyes. “How do you feel?”

  “Like I could cry.”

  Brooke wiped the tears from her cheeks. “That’s good. Set the emotions free.”

  They shared a thoughtful gaze.

  “How did you get to be so good at this?” Jacky asked in a sleepy voice.

  “Lots of observation.” Brooke learned how to offer herself and others slack through her bees and then by listening to her healthy share of successful meditations by others, which helped her to be more patient and understanding in life. Was she a Zen queen? Hell no. Was she a student willing to open her mind and learn? A million percent yes.

  Jacky sought out her hand, and cradled her fingers.

  The room disappeared around them.

  ~ ~

  Brooke’s dark hair hung in loose curls down the sides of her shoulders, dangling around Jacky’s face. Her spirit curled up around Jacky. She reminded her of a rose, soft and gentle to the touch, vibrant and soothing to the spirit.

  How sweet of Sophie to nudge them together as she did.

  Jacky looked up into her warm eyes, cradling her beauty. Her dimple widened across her petal soft cheeks. Jacky indulged in the delicate hint of her feminine, musky scent. Her stomach flipped and fluttered, teasing her into a state of pure elation.

  Brooke’s hand brushed against Jacky’s waist.

  Jacky continued to gaze into her soothing eyes. Braving all, she brought Brooke’s hand up to her lips, brushing it in lingering sweeps and indulging in its softness.

  She wanted nothing more than to keep on caressing her fingers, inhaling her beautiful scent.

  Brooke leaned down and kissed her forehead.

  Jacky could lay there all night and never tire of her lips on her skin. The world stilled in that precious moment, temporarily blanketing her in comfort.

  Brooke traveled to her right eyelid and feathered it with kisses, stilling over it for a few indulgent seconds. She moved to the left eyelid and offered equally concentrated attention to it, taking away the twitches and nerves that capsized her for so long.

  Jacky opened her eyes a slit to find friskiness layered in her beauty, and relaxed into the melodic reverie that sang from her soul.

  They stared at one another, saying nothing with words and everything with their spirits.

  Jacky looked to her soft lips.

  An exquisite longing took over Brooke’s face, the kind a child might have when wanting a cookie, but being afraid to reach out and grab it.

  Jacky contemplated making the first bold and intimate move into a kiss. She wanted to so badly. She wanted to touch Brooke’s succulent lips against her own, to have her warm breath tickle her. She exhaled her powerful craving. “I really want to kiss you.”

  Brooke placed her finger on Jacky’s bottom lip, and slid it back and forth gently. They trembled under her caress. Brooke stared at them with a look of love for their trembling truth. No words were exchanged. They weren’t necessary.

  Brooke leaned in a bit closer, and her breath caught. When she exhaled, Jacky smelled the delightful scent of peppermint oil. Sweeter than any candy, it caressed every sensory nerve in Jacky’s body, teasing her to continue on that delicate journey.

  Brooke moved in closer. Jacky lifted to meet her. Just as their lips were about to touch, Brooke shifted toward her cheek. Entranced in the subtlety of it all, of the softness that glided against her skin, Jacky closed her eyes to take in the stroke. A moment later, she opened up and took in the full view of the face staring down at her. Then, as natural as could be, Jacky sat up and faced her. She sought out her gentle cheeks and planted soft, loving kisses on each one as if they were the most delicate things in the world. They fluttered under her touch.

  Jacky pulled away t
o gaze at her once more.

  Brooke smiled, a teasing smile, one Jacky realized she loved and never wanted to miss. She wanted to caress her, to connect with her soft skin. When she cradled her hand, Brooke moaned, feathering her fingers around Jacky’s palm.

  “You’re safe with me,” Brooke whispered.

  Love swaddled her like a warm blanket. “I feel safe with you. Since the first day you came into my school fifteen minutes late and smiled at me, you’ve been my safety.”

  The fresh summer air filtered through the window on a gust, filling the room with the scent of flowers and freshly cut grass. Everything teased her senses, illuminating all earthy pleasures. She bridged the splice of their existences by tracing Brooke’s beautiful face and plucking up one of those gorgeous loose curls between her fingers and twirling it. When she did that, Brooke moaned, and Jacky’s breath hitched. She loved being so intimately connected with this beautiful woman.

  If she just braved forward and kissed her, she knew the gap would be joined and the connection would be permanent, unbreakable. Not only would their breaths connect, but their entire beings would.

  Almost on instinct, Jacky began to fidget with the loose curl.

  Brooke watched her closely as she pulled in her lip, moistened it.

  They stared intently, and Jacky’s breathing shallowed.

  Brooke moved in, and Jacky enjoyed the steady rhythm of her breathing. She stared at her lips, beckoning for hers to land on them. They were in sync as Brooke’s breath became hers and Jacky’s became Brooke’s. The air between them circulated with a magnetic and powerful energy.

  Finally, Jacky couldn’t take it a moment longer. She needed Brooke. She had to become one with her. So, she sought her out. When her lips brushed Brooke’s, on a touch so soft and tender, she wrestled with a small cry at the back of her throat. Brooke offered up feathery passes, and Jacky responded in reciprocity easing into the softness, then pressing on with more passion.

  Their breaths quickened and deepened, matching each other’s. Jacky teased open Brooke’s lips with her tongue, using its soft tip to flirt with hers. Its indulgent touch, velvety and warm, resisted in a beautiful dance against hers. They swayed in beat to the tantric rave of their passion as they swirled and tasted each other, kissing with an electric intensity; one born out of a sheer desire to become one. Brooke danced to the rhythm of sensuality, tempting Jacky to indulge further.

  Soft rapturous murmurings turned into a pleading demand for release, and Jacky rose up and guided the weight of herself on Brooke in a flux of blissful abandonment. Much to Jacky’s delight, Brooke pulled her closer, luring her deeper into her heart. Jacky eagerly responded, feeding her desires with the nutrients her heart needed. All too soon, the pinnacle of joy began to exert dominance, calling off all bets to turn away.

  Jacky hungered for her. Ever downward, she leisurely ventured across contours, restless in joyous response. She kissed the curve of her neck, the delicate landscape of her shoulder, and in return Brooke pressed her arched torso against her receptive body.

  Jacky was in ecstasy. Her shallow breaths were her only evidence of reality. She looked at Brooke’s slender body offering a golden glow in the chandelier’s reflection. A hint of her mounting passion danced in the intricate beauty of her soul. She planted a kiss on her love-hungry lips, and she released a moan. Jacky kissed her ever so slowly, lazily. Her left hand traced her neck and hair as she breathed her in. The other hand slipped under her shirt and traced her spine, relishing the softness of her skin. Jacky’s fingers sank into her flesh, as the waves of love grew stronger.

  The sensual kiss led them to her bedroom where they slipped into that peaceful pocket of bliss, making love under the glow of a moon full of light and promise.

  They fell asleep in the enchanting lull of the early night, tucked in between a place where life opened back up and allowed love to grow.

  When Jacky woke at eleven o’clock that night, she couldn’t keep herself away. She moved in to wake her with butterfly kisses. Brooke opened up with a smile. Jacky could live ages in the highlights of that smile. Brooke seemed to enjoy the tickling and let out that charming giggle that Jacky adored. Jacky once again indulged in her breath brushing against her lips. It tickled, and it caused her heart to flutter.

  They spent the next hour, curled up in each other’s arms, kissing and cuddling, exploring those innocent parts of their bodies that allowed them to savor remaining mystery for another time. Holding hands, they lingered on the afterglow.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “I need to talk.” Jacky stood in front of her best friend, clinging to herself, drenched.

  “Well, get in from out of the rain, you damn fool.” Marie pulled her into the foyer. A pile of shoes awaited her soggy ones. “This better be good.”

  “Something big happened.”

  Shock zapped across her wrinkles. “Oh my God.” She grabbed Jacky’s arms and shook her. “Is it Sophie? Did something happen to our Sophie?” she cried.

  “No. God no.” She pushed Marie’s hands off her. “It’s not like that kind of big.” She placed her hand to her chest. Her heartbeat still hadn’t slowed. “I came over to tell you something giddy, not terrifying.”

  “At one in the morning?” Her face contorted.

  “Like I know the protocol for such things.”

  “Such things?”

  “I just left Brooke’s.”

  They stood staring at each other, each calming their respective hearts, letting them catch up with the rest of them.

  Marie released a chuckle first. “You had sex.” She spoke calmly, allowing her words the freedom to fly. “You did, didn’t you?” A squeal trailed the question.

  Jacky remained straight-faced.

  Marie narrowed in on her. “Please don’t tell me you knocked on my door to tell me you winked at her.”

  “It started off as a kiss, and then grew from there.”

  Marie stood in her foyer, jaw dropped. “Well, how do you feel?”

  A happiness from deep inside grew. “Alive.”

  ~ ~

  Brooke brought Jacky back to life. Her hunger for passion grew again, whetting her appetite for new experiences and ones long forgotten. Everything tasted delicious again and shone brighter. In the weeks that followed, Jacky snuck over to Brooke’s early in the morning for walks and more kisses. She woke up each morning with a zest that desired more flavor and teasing, and then later at night, retired to her bedroom and to the soothing placations of Brooke’s velvety voice whispering peaceful lullabies through her earbuds and straight to her heart.

  They took it slow. Continuing their romantic courting without clouding it over with promises or heaviness. They slid into a natural, safe, and friendly peace.

  “One step at a time,” Brooke would murmur and walk away, leaving her longing for more.

  Brooke brimmed of intrigue, always arousing Jacky’s attention and supplying her with endless bursts of sunshine. It filtered through the shadows of her broken heart and shed light on the new infantile chambers that ultimately took on beats of their own.

  She inspired a new confidence in Jacky; one that fell upon her most vulnerable points and nullified them, lifting her up to a new level that allowed her the wonderful space to try out the new buzz.

  Jacky’s entire being lit up with joy. She wore the resulting smile like a new outfit. It lifted her shoulders, widened her stride, and raised her confidence. She beamed, and that excitement caught on to those around her. Her clients eased up their pretentious demands. Vendors offered her better deals. Servers offered her extra bread and paid closer attention to filling her water and coffee. With happiness came a certain quality to living that Jacky had not realized she’d been missing.

  Sophie even noticed. “You’re glowing,” she’d say, then quickly dart out of the room.

  About three weeks after their first moment together, Jacky returned home from work and got her mail. She sifted through the pile of bills and o
versized postcards from retailers, layering them into a pile. She paused and reflected on Drew’s name on the cellphone bill.

  She stared at her name, swiping her finger across the bold letters.

  It was time.

  She hugged herself, imagining Drew’s arms around her.

  “Would you be terribly upset?” Jacky whispered. “You know this doesn’t mean our end. You’re always going to be here with us.”

  Jacky looked to a picture of them on the fridge, the one of them in front of the fire pit in their backyard eating ice-cream. “You know, it’s been forever since we’ve had ice-cream by the fire pit? We haven’t since Sophie’s championship game, remember, when she hit that ground ball to center field and tied the bases?”

  She released a painful hum. “God, I miss you.”

  She stared at her name again. “You always had all the answers, didn’t you? You knew when to take action on things. You knew when to fight a point and when to use silence. You would know when the time arrived to fix this bill. You wouldn’t have let Verizon have this extra money all this time. You were always smarter and stronger like that.”

  She began to rip open the envelope with her finger. “Give me a sign sweetheart. Let me know you’re okay with this. Will you?” Her chest rose and fell. “I hate that I have to decide.”

  Her words crumbled. “I know it’s time for me to do this. I just wish you were here to do it for me,” she said with a crack in her voice. She fell to her knees and rocked back and forth, clutching the bill.

  ~ ~

  A few more weeks had passed with Drew’s name still not changed from the bill.