Forever Here

by Harold Wall

  We followed Rashel down the length of the corridor until we came to yet another door that required password entrance. With every step I could physically feel myself getting closer

  to MaryLynette, the silvery chord between us getting stronger, the pull becoming harder to ignore. I wondered if she could feel it too, or whether it was just me in my anticipation

  to see the love of my life.

  Rashel tapped out a rhythm of knocks on the door before speaking a password that I couldn't process over the sound of my beating heart. My feet began to itch, trying to steer me

  in the direction of my soul mate. It had been less than a day since I'd seen her, since I'd looked into her endlessly blue eyes, and felt her soft lips against my own, but so much had

  changed since then.

  The time that had passed since I'd closed the door to the van that had shipped her off felt longer than those original six months of being apart, if that was even possible. Back then

  I'd known exactly where I stood with her, now I had no clue.

  The door opened to reveal two girls that I didn't know, and I was vaguely aware of Rashel introducing them as Daphne and Nyala, which in turn made an image of Scooby Doo

  appear in the back of my mind. Quinn was all smiles making me think he'd met the two before, and spoke freely with them in a way he didn't do with many. Even at the mansion

  surrounded by Daybreakers, he always kept an air of wariness around people; myself and Rashel excluded of course.

  "Where is she?" I asked. It came out as a whisper as if I was in the presence of a sleeping dragon that I did not want to awaken.

  I felt a hand at my shoulder, half comforting and half holding me back. "Maybe you should give her some time, Ash," Rashel said, her voice soft and yet firm at the same time. I

  gave her a stricken look; unable to comprehend how she could think that I could stay away from Mare a moment longer, knowing she was so close.

  Seeing my look, her eyes turned pitiful like she knew the torture I was going through. "Look, she's been through a lot. She was absolutely exhausted when we got here, and even if

  she's not still sleeping, she probably won't be up for arguing."

  "I won't argue with her, I just" I started, but Rashel cut me off. "You may not intend to, but what happened last night was pretty big. You can't expect to just walk in there, all things

  forgotten."

  My heart sank at her words, a heavy weight pulling it right down to the bottom of my stomach where it sat like lead. I'd never thought that things would be sunshine and rainbows

  straight away, but having Rashel spell things out to me wasn't easy to hear. I just nodded my head, feeling more than a little defeated and more than a little sorry for myself.

  "Can you… can you just tell her I'm here?"

  Rashel gave me a small, sympathetic smile and nodded her head. "Sure thing," she said, turning and walking down a corridor that I assumed led to MaryLynette. For a second I

  wanted to follow her, regardless of what she'd just told me, but I knew that that would do more harm than good. I wasn't sure where exactly I stood with Rashel either. She'd been

  pretty mad at me when she'd left, so I could only imagine that I was still walking on very thin ice with her.

  I went to the sofa, sitting next to Quinn who was still chatting with the two girls. I didn't have the interest to join in the conversation, so I sat quietly, taking in my surroundings.

  From the looks of it, these girls had been watching every move anyone had ever made, judging from the wall of screens that showed a plethora of different locations. Somehow I

  wasn't surprised that Thierry had set up a place like this to spy on everyone, it was the perfect way to keep an eye on our alliances and enemies both. I also understood why he

  didn't want word of this place getting out. Not only would it put everyone on edge, knowing that we were always being watched, but if knowledge of this apartment fell into the

  hands of the Night World they may hunt it down and use it against us. The thought made my skin crawl. It was bad enough being spied on by my own side in this war. I didn't want my enemy to see what I ate for breakfast every morning.

  "How long have you guys been stuck in here for?" I found myself asking, unable to help my curiosity. Both girls looked surprised at my sudden decision to join in on the

  conversation, but they recovered quickly.

  "Not long, only a few months," the blonde, Daphne, replied. "Feels like forever," Nyala mumbled after her, slouching in her seat. I didn't blame her for the resentment in her voice;

  I don't think could've stayed here for that long.

  "Do you ever get to leave?" I asked.

  "Once a week one of us gets to venture out into the parking garage to pick up the supplies Thierry sends us. But I'm not sure if that counts as going out," Daphne said, and although

  on the surface, her confinement didn't seem to bother her, I could tell that she hated the arrangement as much as Nyala did.

  "But our replacements get here in another 47 days," Nyala added eagerly, the thought of freedom causing her dark eyes to light up.

  "Who are the replacements?" Quinn questioned, sweeping a hand through his hair. I noticed that his eyes kept darting to the corridor that Rashel had disappeared down, and knew

  that I wasn't the only one who wished they could follow her.

  Nyala only shrugged. "Hell if I know. We get told jackshit. You'd think Thierry would keep us in the loop a little bit more considering we see everything he does and could spread a

  whole lot of dirt on him."

  Daphne punched the other girl in the shoulder, shooting Nyala a glare. "We are not going to dish any dirt on Thierry, or on anyone for that matter. We are not here to collect

  gossip," Daphne hissed.

  I had to hold in a laugh as Nyala rolled her eyes, making it clear that the gossip was exactly what she most interested in. I had to admit; my curiosity was peaked at what dirt they

  actually had on Thierry.

  Conversation lulled a little after that, turning to less interesting topics. Before long, Rashel was coming back down the hall, sitting herself down on the sofa and curling into Quinn's

  side. I wanted to bombard her with questions about MaryLynette's reaction to me being here, about how they'd ended up in this apartment, about how Rashel had found my soul mate. But I didn't want to ruin this quiet moment, or stress Rashel out, or receive another withering glare from Quinn, so instead I sat quietly, counting down the minutes till I could

  see Mare.

  Minutes passed, turning into hours. It seemed that having guests didn't mean that Nyala and Daphne got a break, so both of them had claimed a computer and had returned to monitoring the screens, thick headphones transporting them both out of the apartment and into the solitary world of surveillance.

  With each second that passed I felt a stronger itch to get up and make by way down the hall. Even when I tried to think of something else, which was near impossible, I found my

  eyes wandering to where I knew MaryLynette was. It was as if my entire being was a piece of elastic that was becoming more and more taut the longer it was stretched away from

  my soul mate. Any second now I would either snap or bound back to her.

  "You okay there?" Rashel asked. My eyes flicked to her, caught redhanded staring at the empty hallway, waiting for a certain someone to make an appearance.

  "Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, although it came out kind of strained. Rashel only lifted an eyebrow looking like she didn't believe me for an instant. "Really? Because you look kind of

  twitchy."

  "I'm not twitchy," I scoffed, making a conscious effort to stop my knee from bouncing up and down, which I'd only just become aware of it doing.

  "Sure you aren't," she said sarcastically, and I only rolled my eyes

  A moment passed where neither of us said anything, and it was like in those seconds of silence everything that had
happened between us in the past couple of days came to a head.

  Like it was a tidal wave gradually gaining momentum and it had now gotten to the point where it was ready to break.

  "On a scale of one to ten, how pissed at me are you?" I asked, partly because it was killing me to not know where I stood with her, and partly because there was something freeing

  about getting things out in the open and I knew it would be beneficial to both of us if we just got this off our chests.

  "On a scale of one to ten? I'd say eleven, maybe edging on twelve."

  I nodded, expecting her answer even before she opened her mouth. It didn't take a genius to notice that she'd been mad at me when she'd left to find Mare, really mad.

  "But," she continued before I could ask any more questions. "I know that this can't be easy for you. And I know that the worst is probably yet to come for you, and you don't need me making things any harder."

  "Thank you," I said, so quiet that I wondered if she even heard it. I was too caught on her statement that the worst was yet to come. Of course I had already guessed that things

  wouldn't be easy, and that I'd have to work to get back in Mare's good graces, but the reminder of that was a splash in the face with icecold water.

  "Can I ask you another question?"

  "Shoot."

  I took another breath, closing my eyes for a second debating whether I really wanted to ask this question or not. Maybe it was better to go into this with a little bit of hope. "Answer me honestly, even if you think it's not what I want to hear."

  She nodded her head, and I could tell from looking into her eyes that she knew what my question was. "Do you think she'll forgive me?"

  Rashel was quiet for a second, turning the question over in her mind. I could see the wheels in her head spinning, fabricating an answer. Although it must have only been a few

  seconds that I sat there, waiting for her answer, it felt like a lifetime. "Honestly?" She asked, "I don't know. I really don't know."

  "But if it were you," I pushed, unable to accept that there was no answer. "If it was Quinn who had sent you away, could you forgive him?"

  "Well, first of all, Quinn would never dare to do anything like that to me. He would know that I'm too good at hunting people down to try any funny business."

  I rolled my eyes, feeling only slightly frustrated. "But hypothetically," I interrupted, leading her back on course.

  "Okay then. Hypothetically, if he packed me up and sent me away, knowing that it was against my will, and knowing that he had heard all of my arguments and that it would mean

  that I would be separated from everyone I cared about… no I don't think I could forgive him."

  I felt like I was going to be sick. The kind of sick where your entire insides are chucked up leaving you empty.

  "But I also don't think I could let John go. He's my soul mate, and I don't think I could live without him. So whether I forgave him eventually would be up to him." She paused,

  looking directly at me, searching deep into my soul. In the intensity of her gaze, I could tell that she wasn't talking about the hypothetical scenario anymore, she was talking to her

  friend who was lost and needed her help to find his way again.

  'What happens from here on out is up to you, Ash. Whether you fight for her or let her go, that's down to you. And I'm not going to say that'll it will be easy, because it won't be.

  The road to forgiveness is a long one, and unless you give it your all, you're not gonna make it."

  "I love her, Rashel. I'll give it everything I have, even if it kills me."

  "Even if that means putting her happiness over her safety?"

  I frowned at her words. "What do you mean?"

  "The life we live, Ash, it isn't a safe one. Are you willing to accept that her life will always be in danger as long as she's with you?"

  "How do you expect me to answer that?" I asked with a humourless chuckle, raking my hands harshly through my hair. How could she expect me to choose between Mare's safety

  and Mare's happiness? What kind of a choice was that? Not that it was really my choice anyway. It was up to MaryLynette what she did with her life. I wouldn't make the mistake

  of taking that choice away again.

  "You don't need to answer anything to me, Ash. I'm not the one you need to make things up to." With that, she pushed herself up from the sofa, stretching out her limbs as if she

  really were a cat.

  Although I was grateful to Rashel for speaking her words of wisdom, she'd kind of left me with more questions than answers. I could physically feel my head spinning, the weight of

  the situation on my shoulders crushing. Why the hell couldn't I have just listened to MaryLynette in the first place? Why did I have to go against her wishes and send her away? I

  knew the answer of course. I'd done those things so that she'd be safe. I'd put her safety before her happiness. The real question was: would I do it again?

  "When was the last time you ate?" Rashel called, and I looked up to find her standing in the kitchen with her head in the fridge. Eventually, after what looked like much deliberation,

  she took out a rosy red apple.

  "I'm not hungry," I grumbled, sounding for all the world like a brooding toddler. "Well that's a lie," Rashel answered, taking a bite of the apple and propping herself against a

  worktop.

  "What?" I asked with a frown.

  "I said that's a lie. Your eyes are more silver than the spoons at the country club. When's the last time you… you know," she trailed off. Instead she bared her teeth and with her

  finger tapped her two Knines, which were impossibly blunt compared to my own.

  I shrugged, honestly unable to remember when I'd last had blood. With everything that had happened, it wasn't exactly at the top of my list of priorities.

  "Well you'll have to go do your vamp thing before I'll let you in there to see MaryLynette," Rashel said around another bite of apple. I looked at her in outrage; unable to believe

  she had the audacity to say such a thing.

  "Come on, Rashel. You can't be serious," I complained, my tone laced with anger. "Oh, I'm dead serious, Redfern. I'm not gonna let you go and reunite with your soul only for you to

  take a chomp out of her neck."

  I crossed my arms over my chest defensively, letting out a huff. Even though I knew from the bottom of my heart that I'd never just take a chomp out of MaryLynette, I also knew

  that this was a battle I wasn't going to win. Besides, now that Rashel had mentioned it, a burning filled the back of my throat as I thought about the taste of blood.

  Seeing my defeat Rashel's face transformed into the picture of smugness. "There's a feeder in town. He runs the flower shop just before the traffic lights, if you hit the Dairy Queen

  you've gone too far. If you hurry, you'll be back in hour, and then you can see MaryLynette."

  I nodded my head, standing up and reaching for the car keys in my pocket. "Oh, and take Quinn with you," she added, almost as an afterthought.

  The feeder was right where Rashel had said he would be, in a dainty little flower shop just before the traffic lights. Quinn looked around in distaste as the guy, Brian his nametag

  stated, led us into a back room.

  Brian plonked himself down on a wooden chair and gestured to the stool next to him. "So who's first then?" He asked, his tone incredibly bright considering he was in the presence

  of two hungry vampires, one of which had taken a random disliking to him.

  "You go," Quinn sneered, leaning in the doorframe, blocking the view of the room if anyone should wander into the little shop.

  I took a seat and sank my fangs into Brian's neck, feeling the warmth of his blood run silkily down my throat. I was hungrier than I'd first thought I realised as I drank thirstily,

  relishing every drop.

  Too soon it was time to pull away, and I instantly missed the taste of the s
weet liquid as soon as it was gone. Quinn traded places, giving Brian's neck a disdainful glare before

  biting into it anyway, not unlike how Rashel had bitten into her apple earlier.

  After only a minute Quinn pulled away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Thanks, Brian," I said, patting the man on the back, unsure of what to do. I'd never gone to an

  official feeder before. In the past I'd always preyed on unsuspecting girls in nightclubs, or vulnerable people walking the streets alone. Once I'd found Circle Daybreak I'd always

  gotten my dosages of blood from blood bags. They weren't as nice as drinking from the vein, mainly because we kept the bags refrigerated and it was kind of like drinking cold hot

  chocolate: just wrong. So I didn't really know the etiquette of dealing with feeders.

  "That's okay, lads. I'm glad to help," Brian replied, standing up, pausing only slightly before returning to the main shop, pulling out a carton of orange juice and guzzling half of it.

  I made to leave, Quinn hot on my heels, when I glimpsed a bunch of daisies, their petals whiter than snow. "How much are these?" I asked over my shoulder, picking out the

  beautiful flowers.

  "On the house," Brian called, waving away my question, a knowing smile on his face. "Really?" I asked with a frown. I kind of felt like I was taking advantage of Brian, not only had

  I taken his blood, but now I was taking his flowers too.

  "It's the least I can do, seeing as you guys are trying to stop an apocalypse and all."

  "Thanks again," I murmured, flowers in hand as I left the shop. "Any time," Brian said heartily, waving us off through the window as we drove away.

  We returned back to the apartment within an hour, just as Rashel said we would, and my heart pumped nervously as we were let through the heavily secured doors. The palm that

  was holding the flowers felt sweaty although I knew it was probably just my imagination. The whole way home I'd been flipping between dread and anticipation, so I didn't put it

  past my mind to play tricks on me.

  The door opened and I saw her. I hadn't expected her to be there, I thought she would still be in her room. I needed time to prepare myself, and gather my thoughts. But as I saw