It Was Only a Kiss

by Joss Wood

  It took everything to drop her legs and unhook her arms from his waist. She wiggled out from under him and left him facing the wall, his forearm above his head.

  ‘Phew! Right, where were we?’

  Luke scrubbed his face with his hands. ‘I have no idea. Give me a minute to get blood to my brain and I’ll tell you.’

  ‘Dinner,’ Jess said brightly, picking up her shirt and pulling it on. ‘You were going to make me dinner!’

  ‘I’d rather make love to you,’ Luke grumbled, turning around and tipping his head back to rest it against the wall.

  Jess looked at his strong, exposed throat, the muscles bunching as he folded his arms, the frustration in his deep green eyes.

  He really wanted her. To have such a man feeling so frustrated over her made her feel powerful, giddy, intensely and completely feminine...

  But, as with any other drug, the high was not worth the low that followed.

  * * *

  Jess sat at Luke’s kitchen table while he made spaghetti Bolognese for supper. The aroma of fresh herbs and garlic and the satiny-smooth slide of the red wine Luke had pressed on her made her think she was in Tuscany again. She’d adored Tuscany—the food, the wine, the old buildings and the sleepy villages.

  Of course in Tuscany she wouldn’t have had her laptop open in front of her or her iPad next to her. She wouldn’t be prefacing dinner with talk of work. But, knowing Luke’s intensive schedule, she realised that if she didn’t grab his attention now she might not have it later.

  And, admittedly, she’d grabbed her computer to remind them both of why she was at St Sylve. She was here to work, not play. To work, not to race down banisters like children. Work, not exchange hot, melt-your-panties kisses against a two-hundred-year-old wall...

  Work, Jessica. Tangling with that mouth, playing with that delicious body was not an option.

  Jess looked at her screen. The letters were out of focus and jumbled. Not only did he make her hormones jump but she also wanted to delve beneath that inscrutable façade. She kept getting glimpses of his soul, tiny flashes of resentment, sadness and more emotion than she would have credited him with. Luke Savage had unplumbed depths...

  And she shouldn’t be thinking of plumbing those depths, Jess told herself. Nor should she be tempted by sleeping with him either. She knew the science behind attraction, Jess reminded herself. A girl thought she was just having a simple affair but the act of intercourse released the cuddle hormone—what was it called again? Oxytocin?—and while you intended to walk away you suddenly felt this man might be the one, your mate, your destiny, the father of your children.

  Then months, years, decades later you’d find him in bed testing out someone else’s cuddle hormone.

  All because she’d scratched an itch.

  Not going to happen...mostly because she suspected that if she ever started thinking of Luke in terms of together for ever and one and only she might as well yank out her heart and ask him to stomp on it. Hard. With Grant her head and her pride had been dinged. She knew that if she allowed herself to feel anything more than friendship for Luke it would be the emotional equivalent of being disembowelled with a teaspoon. And the fastest way to get to that point? Sleep with him.

  So that wasn’t going to happen. She hoped.

  ‘I can smell the smoke from all those brain cells you’re burning,’ Luke said mildly, swiftly dicing onions with a wicked-looking knife. ‘What are thinking about?’

  Jess sent him a blank look. ‘What?’

  ‘You’re miles away.’ Luke tossed the onions into a pan with the sizzling garlic. He nodded at her laptop. ‘And you brought work...not cool since I’m trying to seduce you with my culinary talents.’

  Jess leaned back in her chair and lifted her wine glass. ‘You should know that my ex cooked the most amazing meals and it still took him three months to talk me into bed.’

  Luke raised his eyebrows. ‘Cautious, aren’t you?’

  ‘Very.’ Jess held his eyes for a long moment.

  It would be so easy for you to talk me into bed, but while you can easily walk away, Jess silently told him, I’m not so practised. Sex is intimate, it’s binding, and I’d be handing my body to you, and some of my soul, and that scares me. I don’t want to get hurt. I really don’t want to feel anything more for you than lust-coloured friendship.

  Luke saw something in her expression—possibly craziness—and turned away without saying anything.

  Jess took that as a sign to change the subject and looked down at her screen. ‘And the reason I brought work over is that I need to talk to you about the campaign.’

  ‘Talk,’ Luke said, sounding resigned.

  Jess ran through the schedule for the next couple of weeks and told him which society events she suggested he attend during the next month. Some were in Cape Town, some in Franschoek, and a couple were in the surrounding wine towns of Stellenbosch and Paarl. All were high society, and it had been easy securing an invitation for him. Actually, most he’d already been invited to, but he’d binned the invitations without opening them.

  ‘Guess I’d better get my penguin suit dry-cleaned,’ Luke muttered.

  Jess powered down her laptop and sat back and looked at him. He was leaning against the counter, ankles crossed, the foot of his wine glass resting against his arm. His eyes were warm and relaxed and Jess felt her throat tighten. It was such a nice end to a busy day: a man cooking her supper and looking as if he wanted to slurp her up. Casually romantic...

  Jess gave herself a sharp mental slap. If she was going to start having romantic fantasies about Luke then she shouldn’t be in his kitchen, in his personal space.

  Jess’s mobile rang and the glass in her hand wobbled. Putting the glass down, she saw the call was from her eldest brother, Nick, and she smiled. For far too many years she hadn’t received any calls from Nick, and it still gave her a kick to see his name on her caller display.

  ‘Hey, you,’ she crooned. ‘It’s so good to hear from you.’

  As Nick started to speak she caught Luke’s frown and asked Nick to hold on. Excusing herself, she walked out of the kitchen to the hall and into Nick’s living room. Another painting dominated the room—a beach scene this time, of a deserted cottage and the wild and cold Atlantic ocean. It was atmospheric, but every brushstroke seemed saturated with loneliness. Luke’s mother’s work...

  Jess shivered and went to stand by the fire. ‘Sorry, run that by me again?’

  Jess slapped her mobile against her hand as she walked back into the kitchen, her thoughts a million miles away. She missed the searching look Luke sent her as she picked up her glass and drained the contents.

  ‘Hey!’ Luke protested. ‘That’s fifteen years old. If you’re going to throw it down your throat I’ll give you something cheaper.’

  Jess looked at her glass and grimaced. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘Problem?’ Luke nodded at her mobile. ‘Bad news?’

  ‘Not bad news. Just trying to manage my family. That was Nick, my oldest brother, being bossy and trying to arrange my life for me.’

  ‘You don’t sound particularly upset.’

  Jess half smiled. ‘To be honest, he’s the only one I accept it from. He was out of my life for so long that it’s still a bit of a thrill to have him in it. I’m prepared to forgive his managing ways. Probably not for much longer, though.’

  ‘And the problem is...?’ Luke stirred the bolognaise mixture and dashed some olive oil into a pot of water, cranking the gas high to get it to boil.

  ‘Next weekend is a long weekend—Friday is a national holiday.’

  ‘Yes. So?’

  ‘My family have traditionally always spent that weekend together. All the siblings, their kids, my parents, me... We usually go away somewhere for those couple of days. I told them I couldn’t make this year because I’m swamped, and because...’ Jess stopped and winced.

  Luke sent her a look that insisted she finish her sentence. When she didn’t speak, he
crossed over to her, tipped her chin so that she had to look at him and lifted his eyebrows. ‘And because...?’

  ‘Because they keep dropping hints about my ex and me getting back together. He’s good friends with three of my brothers. He often spent that weekend with us.’

  ‘But you told your family it was over? Why are they pressuring you?’ Luke asked, puzzled.

  ‘Because Grant has said that he wouldn’t mind us getting back together and I was iffy about why we broke up. My brothers think I’m being temperamental and picky and just need to see what I’ve lost. Grant is a good guy in their eyes.’ Jess shoved her hand into her hair in frustration.

  ‘He cheated on you,’ Luke said with utter certainty.

  Jess’s mouth fell open. When she could find words, Jess spoke again. ‘How did you know that?’

  Luke tapped her nose before going back to the stove. ‘I saw it in your eyes. Why didn’t you tell your family?’

  Jess dropped into a chair and rested her elbows on the table. ‘Partly pride. He made a fool of me and, as I said, they are friends. Have been for years... That makes it worse. If they find out about him cheating, something awful might happen.’

  Luke stopped stirring the sauce and looked at her, surprised. ‘They’d beat him up?’

  Jess pulled a face. ‘They wouldn’t mean to. But my brothers are very protective over me. Grant will say something stupid and a fist will fly...’

  ‘Aren’t you overreacting?’

  Jess took a sip of wine and looked at Luke over the rim. ‘When I was five I was bullied at school. My brothers hung the bully—a girl—on a hook. All four Sherwood boys, ranging from six to ten, ended up in the principal’s office.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘I was thirteen, going to my first dance. My date was threatened by the quartet. He was so scared he pulled out and I went to the dance alone. Sixteen—another boy, another kiss... Nick sprayed the boy with a hosepipe. In winter. I could go on and on.’

  ‘Lucky you.’ Luke held out the spoon for her to taste the sauce.

  Jess held his wrist, blew on the sauce and tasted. It was perfect—herby, garlicky, meaty.

  ‘Yum. Lucky? Are you mad? They are the bane of my life. They’re nosy and interfering and still think I’m a little girl in need of guidance and protection.’

  ‘But it must be nice to know that you have four people standing in your corner, ready to wade into the fire for you,’ Luke said soberly, and Jess knew he was right.

  Yes, her brothers annoyed her, but she wouldn’t trade them for the obvious loneliness of growing up an only child.

  ‘Or to punch an ex for you.’

  ‘I guess.’

  ‘He cheated. He deserves it.’ Luke shrugged. ‘Are you sure he cheated or was it just a suspicion?’

  ‘I caught them in my bed. She was on top.’

  ‘Tacky,’ Luke said, tossing pasta into the rapidly boiling water. ‘You’re not very upset about him cheating.’

  Jess shrugged. ‘I’m over it. Mostly.’

  ‘Mostly?’

  Jess looked at the ceiling. How did she explain that she felt stupid rather than hurt—embarrassed that she’d never suspected he was cheating? And his parting words still stung.

  ‘He told me I was a ball-breaker, a control-freak-psycho. It was messy and a big failure... I don’t like mess and I don’t like failing.’

  She didn’t like being out of control, and being a perfectionist was a pain in the ass sometimes. Jess repeated the thought to Luke and he grinned.

  He reached for the bottle of wine and topped up her glass while Jess draped her arm over the back of the chair. ‘Anyway, to come back to my conversation with Nick... My family are desperately trying to find a villa to rent in Cape Town, so they can be near me over that long weekend. So that we can spend some time together... And my father—sorry—wants to see St Sylve. My family are wine-oholics. They’ve asked me to keep my ears open for a place to rent that will fit the entire family. Including Grandma,’ Jess continued.

  ‘You won’t find a place to rent at such late notice. They are usually booked quite far in advance,’ Luke told her as he drained the pasta.

  ‘I know.’ Jess looked glum.

  Luke stared at her for a long minute and Jess frowned. ‘What?’

  ‘Being with your family is important to you, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes. Very. My brothers alternate Christmas with us and their wives’ families, so we’re never all together at Christmas. This weekend is one we’ve kept sacrosanct. We have to have a damn good excuse to miss it, and so far my mother is not buying mine.’

  Jess saw the deep breath Luke pulled in.

  ‘Invite them to St Sylve.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘The manor house will sleep twelve adults upstairs and another two downstairs.’

  What a perfect solution. She could have her family close and work when she could, or after they all went to sleep.

  ‘Eleven adults. Five kids under five. Is that a serious offer?’

  ‘It’s sitting empty,’ Luke pointed out as he dished up their supper.

  Jess stared at the plate he’d put in front of her, her brain whirling. ‘I’ll only suggest it to them if we pay to hire it.’

  Luke considered her words as he grated Parmesan cheese on top of her food. ‘I wish St Sylve was in a position to say no, but it’s not. I’ll do some research tomorrow and give you a daily rate.’

  Jess bit her lip and wiggled in her chair in excitement. ‘Oh, I could just kiss you.’

  ‘Feel free,’ Luke quickly replied, and Jess blushed.

  She would, but she suspected that would lead to more kissing.

  And then her food would get cold and sticky and she was starving.

  ‘No?’ Luke filled up their wine glasses. ‘Damn. Well, then, let’s eat.’

  SIX

  The next day, Jess watched as Luke carelessly and confidently steered a hugely expensive superbike into the spot Sbu had designated and pulled off his helmet, sending a warm glance to the blonde giraffe sitting on the wall that separated the beach from the road. The sun was setting, the model had a bottle of St Sylve Merlot and two crystal glasses in her hand, and a sexy come-hither look on her very expensive face.

  Jess ground her teeth. She knew she wasn’t acting...nobody was that good. Luke strode over to the model, cupped her neck and tipped her chin up with his thumb. Their kiss was way longer than necessary, and Jess was sure she’d have no molars left by the end of this shoot. Sbu eventually cut the scene and Luke lifted his head. He really could look as if he was enjoying this a lot less, Jess thought, glaring at him as he grinned down at the giraffe.

  Jess shivered and wished she had a cup of coffee in her hands. She was cold, tired, and she wanted a hot bath and to curl up in her favourite pajamas. She wanted a chick-flick and popcorn, a romance novel and chocolate... She did not want to accompany Luke to a wine-tasting hosted by one of the most well-respected food critics in the country.

  Maybe the giraffe could go with him?

  Luke was not amused when she put the suggestion to him five minutes later.

  ‘I’d rather jump off Table Mountain than be forced to listen to her babydoll voice all night,’ Luke retorted. He tipped his head to one side. ‘What’s your problem? You’ve been like a bear with a sore head all day.’

  ‘I have not!’

  ‘Please—your expression could curdle milk,’ Luke said. ‘You haven’t been your normal bubbly self.’

  You didn’t have to watch yourself kiss her, Jess told him silently, and wrinkled her nose. So this was what true jealousy felt like. Jess twisted her lips. She didn’t like it. It was so high school...

  ‘Are you—?’

  ‘I swear if you say it I’ll swat you,’ Jess warned him. ‘I am not jealous!’

  Luke grinned and his eyes danced. ‘Really? Good to know. Except that wasn’t what I was about to say.’

  Jess desperately wanted to curl up into a little ba
ll and whimper with embarrassment. ‘What were you going to say?’ she asked, forcing the words out between clenched teeth.

  Luke’s smile widened and Jess really wanted to slap it off his face.

  ‘Are you...interested in a cup of coffee? I was going across the road to order some from that bakery over there.’ Luke nodded to the bakery across the street.

  Jess wanted to toss her head, blithely refuse, but she was chilled to the bone. ‘Thank you.’ She sent him a stiff smile.

  Luke grinned, turned and walked across to the bakery. Jess wished there was a wall she could bang her head against. What was wrong with her? She didn’t get jealous or snarky or grumpy...she wasn’t the type. Why was she feeling possessive about Luke? They weren’t dating or sleeping together, and a couple of sun-hot kisses didn’t mean anything. Shouldn’t mean anything...

  Jealousy suggested an emotional connection which was unacceptable on so many levels. She wasn’t ready or willing to get involved again, and neither was he. They were both rational adults, in charge of their choices and their feelings. Theoretically.

  Jess sighed. Maybe it was because she was spending too much time with him: familiarity breeding fondness.

  Her mobile rang in her coat pocket and Jess pulled it out to see ‘Mum’ on the display. She greeted her mother and listened to the weekly family update. It was more rambling than usual and Jess, who knew her mother really well, wondered what her mother was up to.

  When Liza finally ran out of trivia and didn’t say goodbye Jess knew that she was about to be set up. Since her mother’s and grandmother’s choice of men was always dodgy, Jess rolled her eyes.

  ‘He’s a second cousin, spends his weekends in Franschoek. Lee. Darling, you have to remember him!’ Liza pleaded after telling her that Lee was in set design in Cape Town. ‘You spent a day on the beach together when you were about five!’

  ‘Mum, I can barely remember the people I spent the day with on the beaches of Thailand, and that was last year! And, no, I’m not interested in dating.’ Jess watched as Model Girl tottered across the road to help Luke carry the coffee and scowled at the warm smile he gave her. He might not like her voice, but he sure didn’t mind sharing his sexy smile with her. ‘Mum, just hold on.’