“Do you think you were pregnant before you arrived?” She ignored my words.
“Is that why Collin felt obligated to move you to California?” Her eyes fell over me like I was a dirty rag.
My stomach swished. Please hold on, Kara. At least until you get out the door. Then vomit all over her perfectly manicured lawn. Fucking bitch. I knew his parents wouldn’t approve of our relationship. I refused to answer her.
I stared back at her with just as much venom in my eyes.
“What’s going on down here, Doris?” Mr. Daughtry’s heavy, expensive, designer soles smacked the black slate tiles as he approached. I swear that scowl had been in place since I arrived, hell maybe even before.
“Allan, I think Kara is pregnant.” She smoothed her hands over her pink dress that stopped at her knees.
He clapped his hands. “I knew it. You knocked her up while you were in Alaska.” He glared at Collin.
His gaze met mine. “How much money would it take for you to walk away from my son?” he bit out through barred teeth.
“Son of a bitch,” Collin roared.
Collin reached over my head and balled his father’s green dress shirt in his hand, pulling him close. “No one disrespects her. First, it was Bryce. Now you. She’s my girlfriend. And like I told him; Kara will become my wife.” Collin’s hands gripped his father’s neck quickly.
“Collin, don’t,” I pleaded, as I turned, tugging his navy suit lapels.
“Stop, Collin. You don’t have to fight for me.”
His eyes scanned my wet face. “Baby, you’re talking crazy. You are my family.”
Collin’s eyes darkened as he gawked between his parents. “Did you hear what I said? She will become Mrs. Daughtry. I don’t give a damn if she’s not pregnant. And for your information, she wasn’t pregnant before she moved here,” he barked. Was it just me, or did Collin now speak with an Irish accent like his dad?
“This woman is good, whole, and pure. I don’t deserve her.”
His father coughed in his grip and his face turned a deep shade of red. He slammed his fists into Collin’s arms. My big strong man was unphased.
“Not true, babe, you do deserve me. Please, let him go.”
It was like a light switch flipped in his head and Collin’s face softened. “For you.” He stepped around me and shoved his dad against the wall.
“Kara won’t sign a prenup. So don’t fix your mouth to bring it up. Tuig?” Collin growled, in an Irish accent. He slapped his dad’s shoulder.
I couldn’t understand the Irish word Collin used. It wasn’t clear he was Irish until this evening. Why didn’t he mention his heritage? Explained his hot temper, though.
“Good to see you, dad.”
His father clutched his neck, hacking up his lungs.
Collin stepped over and wrapped his mother in his arms. “I love you. And I love her. I won’t choose. Don’t dare ask.”
His mother was as white as a ghost when he released her.
Collin intertwined our fingers.
I peeked over my shoulder, flashing an uncomfortable grin. “Nice to meet you both.”
His father stepped in the middle of the hall, chest heaving.
“Don’t bring your whore back to my house,” he yelled.
Collin released my hand and tore down the hall.
“Please, Collin, no,” I shouted.
Doris shook her head as she jumped in front of Allan. Sadness loomed her pretty eyes. “That’s enough,” her voice broke. “Leave, Collin.”
“You’re fucking dead to me,” Collin roared, pointing at his father.
He stalked toward me and grabbed my hand. I’d never seen Collin so upset.
Collin stormed out of the Beverly Hills mansion, pulling me with him in these fucking heels. I was damn near running to keep up with him down the paved circular driveway. He opened the passenger door of his blue Porsche Taycan and gently scooped me up and sat my bottom on the seat.
Gripping the steering wheel with one hand, his free hand stroked my legs resting in his lap. We rode in silence for fifteen minutes through the busy streets of Los Angeles.
I stared at the dimming sky.
Slowly, his scowl diminished. Did I calm him? I loved how his hands felt against my skin. His fingertips danced along my leg. Yeah, so soothing. Maybe to us both.
“Collin, you didn’t think it was important to tell me you were Irish?”
“I’m part Irish.”
“You said something in another language to your father.”
I spoke in Gaelic. My father taught me the language when I was a boy. We visited our relatives in Ireland almost every year until I was seventeen. Then I continued to visit on my own. I asked him if he understood.”
“Your temper is scary. I notice I talk you down a lot. Have you always gotten into fights?”
“Yeah, you could say that. My mother placed me in therapy when I was a child because I was always fighting some asshole kid. Maybe I need to return to therapy. I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”
I placed my hand on his shoulder. “You haven’t scared me personally. I was often afraid for the other person.”
He smirked as he halted in a parking space at the drugstore.
A couple of minutes later, we stood in front of a display of pregnancy tests. Collin peered down at me, then kissed my forehead. “I meant what I said earlier. You’re my family. After Milan, we’ll visit my aunts and grandparents in Ireland. Just in time for the holidays.”
My face lit up. “I’d like that.”
Collin and I decided on three tests.
“Want to go out to eat or order in?”
“Order in.”
∞
After dinner and a long bath, I peed on all three sticks and left them on a sheet of paper towel on the counter.
Standing in the bathroom's threshold naked, I stared at the huge TV hanging on the wall in our bedroom.
Collin tore his eyes away from the basketball game.
“So, what did the tests say?”
I wrung my hands and bit my lower lip. “Well I took the tests, but I didn’t look.”
He jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. I stepped over to the dresser and reached into a drawer.
I grabbed a T-shirt and bed shorts.
My eyes only darted toward the bathroom a hundred times. I tugged on my T-shirt and shorts. Collin was quiet. Was that good or bad? My stomach was in my throat. I felt the vomit rise again. When would this end? I strutted into the bathroom.
His palms braced the edge of the counter. I stared at the tattooed, dark, winged knight consuming his back.
“Do you not want a child with me, Kara?”
His deep voice bounced off the walls and sent shivers up my spine.
“It’s not that, Collin. We’re moving so fast. It’s my fault. I should have taken birth control pills.”
He turned to face me. “Do you want to return to Alaska?”
His voice was darn near a whisper.
Collin’s sad eyes made my heart melt.
I stepped closer and stared into his big brown eyes. “I want to be where you are.” My hands splayed his chest.
“I have good days and bad. Honestly, I miss my dad and friends. I’ve only ever known Alaska. You go off to work,” I paused. “I explore the city. Luckily, I can hang out with Sydney and the girls if I’d like, but I don’t want to be a bother to them all the time.”
“I guess everyone was right. This was too much of a shock, tearing you away from the only place you knew.” His jaw ticked. Collin swept his thumb across my lower pouty lip.
“You can go back to Alaska. I won’t force you to stay here with me any longer. Guess I fucked up. I wanted to be all you needed.”
“Collin, I said I want to be where you are.”
“But how can I ask you to stay and you’re not happy here?”
He searched my eyes for something. My voice caught in my throat. I couldn’t find the right words.
&nb
sp; Collin shook his head. “Harry’s at your disposal.” He stepped around me.
“Collin, where are you going?”
He halted but didn’t look back. “I can’t be here when you walk out that door.”
He continued into the closet.
“You’re running from us?” I yelled.
My heartbeat thudded my rib cage.
He didn’t answer.
I sank to the floor in a puddle of my own tears. What the fuck just happened? He just ended us. My body heated. My insides felt like they were on fire. I hopped up and stared at the test results.
A flash blew by in my peripheral. I stalked out of the master bath and I peeked in the closet. A chunk of his clothes were missing. I ran into the living room.
“That’s it? You’re leaving us? Sending me back to Alaska knocked up. Yeah, fucking run. You got what you wanted. My fucking heart. You broke it. All the shit you did to get me here.” The vomit returned, this time only in words. “Was it like closing one of your deals?”
He dropped his luggage and garment bag. Collin turned around. “What?”
“Was I one of your deals? You know another merger or acquisition you are so wonderful at winning. You moved me from everything I knew. I don’t have a job. I have nothing.”
He smirked. “You have nothing. You couldn’t even try, Kara. I should have never touched you.”
My body quaked and not in a good way. Hurt struck every bone in my body. My bare feet ran top speed, and I slammed my palms into his chest. He didn’t budge. “Fuck you. I gave you my virginity, Collin. It was sacred, and I gave it to you, because I loved you. I trusted you to not break my heart. You fucking bastard. I never want to see you again.”
His eyes turned hollow. “I want to see my child, Kara. Even if you want nothing to do with me.”
He gathered his belongings and continued toward the elevator.
“Run back to your old ways and fuck every bitch in L.A.,” I shouted at his back.
The side of his face came into view. “Yup, I will. At least I don’t have to worry about my heart being stomped on and thrown back into my face.”
He sighed. “I’ll set up a trust fund for our child.”
I darted around him. His eyes focused on the elevator. “You motherfucker. You’re just like your father.” My hand flew across his cheek. A crack sounded in the air. I ignored my pulsing, burning hand at my side.
He stood there seething. After staring through me for a moment, he walked around me and stepped onto the elevator. The doors closed, and I returned to the bedroom.
I didn’t know what to do with myself. Was I supposed to fly home at that moment?
My heart thudded my rib cage harder. The basketball game he was watching still played. It reminded me that he left. I ran into the kitchen, grabbed a cast-iron skillet. Chest heaving, I stalked back into the room and hurled the skillet at the TV. The TV short circuited. I stepped around the shards of glass. A sense of calm came over me. I snatched our pillows off the bed and trekked down the hall into one of the guest bedrooms. I slammed the door like it mattered. He wasn’t here. He left. The man I loved walked out of my life like I knew he would. I knew he’d break my heart. Climbing under the sheet, I clutched his pillow in my arms, inhaling his delicious scent. I sobbed until I fell asleep.
Three days had gone by. Collin and I hadn’t spoken to each other. The maid called several times. I wouldn’t allow her up.
“Hello,” I heard in the distance.
Who was here?
“Hello, Kara, are you here?”
My eyes widened. It was Harry. I clutched the pillow tighter and muted the TV. I turned the guest room into a campsite. I only left the room to get food. Harry couldn’t get in. The door was locked.
“Kara, are you in here?” The door knob turned, and I held my breath.
I didn’t say a word. He needed to leave.
Boom, boom.
Shit, was his muscled bound ass trying to break down the door?
The door flew open. Harry stood in the doorway, big and burly.
“Kara, you can’t stay cooped up like this.” He fanned his hand in front of his nose.
“When was the last time you took a shower?”
I didn’t answer. He walked across the room and yanked the dark curtains open. My eyes followed his every move.
He stepped to the side of the bed. “Come on, let’s go.”
I clenched my eyes closed. He scooped me up.
“Put me down,” I demanded.
“Nope, if you don’t take a shower, I’ll call Sydney and have her help you.”
He sat me on the shower floor and flipped on the jets. The cold water pounded against my skin. “Ah,” I yelled, as the ice-cold water shocked me back into reality.
Harry sat on the edge of the tub.
“Collin, said you wanted to return to Alaska.”
My stinky T-shirt clung to my skin.
The tears started again. “I moved to L.A. to be with Collin. The second he found out we were having a baby, he left. He tried to pay me off like his father. I never want to see Collin again. He broke my heart. My heart hurts. It won’t stop hurting,” I cried.
“I wanted to believe he wouldn’t hurt me. He made me love him.” My voice rattled in my chest.
“Now I can’t stop loving him.”
“You both are in pretty rough shape. Collin buried himself in his work. His heart is broken, too. Not sure how you two can find your way back to each other.”
I shook my head. “He doesn’t want me. He used me up now he’s back to his regular one-night stands. Harry, just leave me here. I’ll pay for my flight to Alaska. I don’t want anything from Collin.”
“You’re hurt. Is it true you didn’t want to find out if you were pregnant? And he said he wanted to marry you and you told him it was no rush?”
I slipped my fingers through my puffy hair. “Yes.”
“Is it possible you gave him a way out because you thought this was easier?”
My hand flew over my mouth. “I love him with all my heart.” My body shivered.
“Yes. Maybe, I thought if I pushed him away early on it would hurt less rather than later. But it feels like a weight is resting on my lungs. I haven’t been able to breathe since he left.” I swiped at the tears.
“Tell him I will be out of his place tomorrow. I can’t believe I let my fears help destroy us.”
“After you shower, I’ll take you for a drive. Like we’ve done every day for weeks.”
“Harry, you're an exceptional friend. You’d make some beautiful woman happy.”
“Since I’ve returned from active duty, I haven't given a relationship much thought.”
“Well it’s time to think about it.”
“Don’t turn the focus from you to me. When was the last time you ate?”
“I haven’t eaten a meal. I’ve eaten snacks.”
He rubbed his brow. “I can’t let you and that baby starve. I’ll be in the living room. We’ll grab a bite to eat first.”
“Sounds good.”
Harry closed the door as he exited the bathroom.
I peeled off my wet clothes, then adjusted the water temperature. The last time Collin and I showered together came to mind. His soapy fingers ran figure eights over my skin. I was so ticklish. He loved to make me laugh. All of our memories plagued my thoughts over the last few days. I enjoyed watching his face light up when his team scored. Collin loved sports. On Sundays, I watched him and a group of guys play football in the park. His smile was so bright when his eyes met mine. He mouthed I love you from across the field. I mouthed I love you too. He fought tooth and nail for me. But I hadn’t fought for him. Fuck, he really loved me with his entire heart. How could I be so blind? I can’t lose him.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
COLLIN
Standing at the counter, staring at the pregnancy tests, I thought my heart would leap out of my chest. I was going to be a father. How poorly my dad treated me gr
owing up flashed in my head and I shut down. I put all the blame on Kara and pushed her away. The idea that I could be an asshole to my kids like my father was to me, terrified my inner being. Thought it would be easier to walk away from her. But it wasn’t.
I sat at the bar until four in the morning, drinking my sorrows away. Kara was my first and last love. If I couldn’t be with her, then I knew I’d be a bachelor for the rest of my life.
Every day I fought for us. I showed her how deep my love was for her. I poured out my heart. Revealed the real me to Kara. I could be a big kid at times. She didn’t mind. She’d behave just as silly. Kara sometimes hid behind the kitchen counter, waited until I walked by, then shot those foam bullets into my arms and chest. My face hurt from laughing so hard. I hadn’t laughed that hard in years.
I’d crush anyone who disrespected my woman. My heart. If Kara wasn’t my woman, I’d still fight for her. That was how incredible she was to me.
Our sex life was incredible. Staring into her brown eyes as she sat on her throne…my dick. The adoration I held for my queen could never get old. The bliss on her face delighted my soul. I worked hard to ensure she came every fucking time. I was hungry for her next cum face.
I made love to the only woman I wanted in my life.
In public, she never pushed me away. She jumped on my back and smothered me with kisses. I rarely slept at night. All because I wanted to watch her sleep. I was, and I am obsessed with Kara Riley. I found myself putting distance between us at times. Because I was seriously crazy in love with her. I didn’t want her to think I was a fucking psycho. Kara was that relaxing hit of a joint between my lips. I hadn’t smoked since college, but I remembered how relaxed I felt. Once Kara moved to L.A., she became my sense of calm. The urge to party often became nonexistent.
We didn’t fight. I always hated when she’d say never mind or wouldn’t tell me what was on her mind. And she hated how I told everyone she belonged to me. I’d do it again. Wouldn’t change a thing. She was my woman. Everyone needed to stay clear of what was mine.
What hurt the most, I didn’t feel like Kara fought for us to stay together. The idea darkened my heart.
I wanted her to tell me I was crazy, and we’d raise our child together right here in California. Bringing up Alaska-- her home and how much she missed it, that was when I felt our relationship wasn’t enough. How could I ask her to live in this city with me forever if she wasn’t happy?
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