Worth Waiting For

by Burrows, Jax

  ‘Will he bring me another present?’

  ‘He might, but you mustn’t expect him to buy you something every time he sees you. Daddies aren’t just about presents, they’re about…’ She had to stop and think. She had never known her father and the men in the foster families she had briefly stayed with had never felt like real family to her. What were daddies about? She didn’t know, but Jade was waiting expectantly for her to finish her sentence. ‘Well, he’ll be your friend and want to talk to you and take you out to nice places.’

  ‘Will he play with me? Craig never plays with me much.’

  ‘Yes, your daddy will definitely want to play with you.’

  ‘Mummy? Is Daddy going to go away again?’

  She would give him the benefit of the doubt. ‘No darling, Daddy won’t go away again. He is going to stay here, in Leytonsfield.’

  ‘With us?’

  ‘Well, like I say, he’ll have his own home, but we’ll see him a lot.’ This wasn’t the time to tell her about her extended family. One shock at a time. She didn’t look shocked, in fact, she looked completely unconcerned. Maybe she needed to let the news sink in, and questions would follow later.

  ‘What are we having for tea?’

  ‘Fish fingers.’

  ‘Yay! My favourite. Can I go and watch TV now please?’

  ‘Of course you can, Jade, but can I have a hug first?’

  Her daughter ran to her and hugged her. She kissed the top of her head, thankful that what she thought would be an onerous task had turned out to be relatively easy. This was only the beginning. Meeting Casey’s family would be a lot hard.

  Chapter Seven

  The doorbell rang on the dot of six.

  ‘I’ll get it,’ shouted Lexi as she hurried to the front door. Jade followed her, clutching Bluebell tightly.

  Casey stood on the doorstep holding an enormous white box. She was glad to see that he had dressed down in blue jeans and a black T-shirt, but still managed to look smoking hot. She wore jeans too but had put on one of her prettiest blouses with cap sleeves and lace around the neck.

  ‘Hi, come in.’

  ‘Hi. Have you told her?’

  ‘Hi Daddy!’ said Jade, peeping out from behind Lexi’s legs.

  Casey’s face changed from anxious concern to a huge grin and Lexi thought she detected a sheen over those beautiful green eyes. All designed to increase her feelings of guilt at not telling Jade sooner. The job was done now and the two of them could get to know each other. One hurdle down, another to go. She wasn’t going to think about meeting the O’Connors yet. That was for another day.

  ‘This is for all of you,’ said Casey handing the box to Jess who took it into the kitchen to open it.

  Casey knelt in front of Jade. ‘Hi, Baby, can your Daddy have a hug?’

  Jade looked at Lexi who nodded. She held out her doll.

  ‘Bluebell needs one too.’

  ‘Bluebell, that’s a beautiful name.’

  ‘It’s ‘cos of her blue dress.’

  ‘Wow, what a clever girl to think up such a good name.’

  ‘Mummy helped too. A bit.’ Jade was obviously enjoying the attentions of her daddy. And who could blame her? Lexi knew exactly how enticing Casey’s attention could be.

  ‘Well, let me hug you both together.’ He gently enfolded Jade and Bluebell in his big, strong arms and Lexi felt a pang of longing. It was an irresistible combination in a man; a mixture of gentleness and strength. The promise of protection and tender, loving care. Suddenly she was overwhelmed with gratitude that Jade had her father in her life. Casey would always be there to look after her.

  Following closely on the heels of gratitude, however, came the shadow of fear. What if Jade came to love Casey more than she loved her? That was stupid. She was her mother. Jade would always love her. Love wasn’t rationed; there was enough to go around.

  ‘Wow! Look at the size of this…’ Jess’s voice from the kitchen made them all turn in that direction.

  Casey stood up and laughed. ‘I wasn’t sure what to bring, but I saw that in the window and couldn’t resist.’

  ‘This certainly didn’t come from the shop I work in,’ Jess said.

  ‘No. I was in Knutsford today and went to an exclusive cake shop there.’

  ‘I’ve seen some big cakes, but this is massive. Black Forest Gateau guys. Come and look.’

  The cake was in three layers with cream and cherries in the middle and chocolate icing.

  ‘Does it have alcohol?’ Lexi knew the children shouldn’t eat it if it did, but they had already seen it and denying them a piece now would be a disaster. The evening was starting out so well, too.

  ‘No, luckily it’s a non-alcoholic version.’

  ‘Good man,’ said Jess and put the cake in a safe place.

  ‘Do you want to see our bedroom?’ Jade obviously wanted to get her daddy’s attention back where it belonged.

  ‘I’d love to, sweetie.’ Jade took Casey’s large hand in her tiny one and led him towards the stairs.

  ‘Come on then. You have to be careful on the stairs as they’re steep.’

  Lexi watched them climb the wooden stairs ever so carefully, still holding hands, Jade chattering happily all the way up.

  Jess was watching her with a smile on her face. ‘Going well so far.’

  ‘Yes. Long may it last.’ She felt relief but couldn’t shake off a slight feeling of unease. She didn’t know Casey well and he was now alone in the bedroom Jade shared with Craig. She was sure it would all be fine. Father and daughter would soon be inseparable. Casey was kind, gentle and loving to Jade. It had been obvious, too, by the reaction of the little girl, that she was impressed with her new daddy.

  So, what was bothering her? She was feeling left out. Surplus to requirements. It had just been the two of them for so long. They were a team, and now there was a man in the mix. That was crazy. She had to shake this feeling. Jade needed to have a relationship with her father, and she needed to get out of the way and let it happen. She and Jade were rock-solid. Nothing would ever come between them. Not even a gorgeous hunk like Dr Casey O’Connor.

  ‘Craig! Please set the table for me, pet.’ Jess called to her son who was in his default position, in front of the TV.

  ‘Why me?’

  ‘Two reasons: one I’m asking you to and two, you won’t get a piece of that delicious cake if you don’t.’

  Craig heaved a sigh and hauled himself upright. ‘Oh, alright then.’ He lumbered into the kitchen to collect the cutlery and a tablecloth. They didn’t usually bother with a cloth, but today they had a special guest.

  ‘I’ll help you,’ said Lexi. After all, she had nothing else to do at that moment. She wished she could be a fly on the wall to hear what Casey and Jade were talking about.

  *

  ‘I wish I had my own bedroom, I hate sharing with a boy.’

  ‘But you like Craig?’ Casey sat on the edge of the bottom bunk, being careful not to bump his head on the top bunk. Their sleeping arrangements weren’t ideal. Craig was eight already, and he remembered himself at that age. He’d had his own bedroom and would have hated having to share, especially with a girl.

  Craig seemed an amiable enough kid, absorbed in his own world of computer games, but what would happen in a year or so? Jade would need her own bedroom.

  ‘My best friends are Matilda and Jasmine. Matilda’s got a new daddy and he’s going to be living with them.’

  ‘Oh. That’s nice. What happened to Matilda’s old daddy?’

  ‘He left. Her mummy didn’t like him anymore.’

  ‘Oh.’ Casey was at a loss how to respond but Jade didn’t seem to notice, she chattered away, seemingly delighted to have a captive audience. And such an attentive one at that. She showed him her toys, her clothes, the pictures she’d drawn at nursery, and then came to sit next to him on the bunk.

  ‘Do you like mummy?’

  ‘Oh yes, very much.’ At least he could answer th
at question.

  ‘Does Mummy like you?’

  ‘Ah …Yes, I think so.’

  ‘Good, ‘cos I don’t want you to go away again like Matilda’s old daddy did.’

  ‘Oh, darling.’ He picked her up and put her on his knee, holding her tight and relishing the feel of her softness and her sweet scent. ‘I am never going to go away, I promise. I’ll always be here for you, whenever you want me. Okay?’

  She nodded, and he hugged her tighter.

  *

  ‘Do you like fish fingers, Daddy?’ Jade asked him. She was sitting next to him at the table on a chair with two cushions.

  ‘I love fish fingers.’ He wasn’t used to being called “Daddy”. It would take a while to adapt to his new role. He was determined that he was going to be the best father a kid ever had. Jade was a delight, with a quick mind and the sign already of a cheeky side to her nature. She giggled a lot, especially when she was stretching the truth about how accomplished she was at everything.

  He remembered his nephew, Tom, being the same at three years old. Eager to tell everyone that “I can do this” and “I can do that”. It was a natural stage in a child’s life.

  Jade looked like her mother but had bags more confidence than Lexi seemed to have.

  ‘So, Craig, do you like sport?’ He was determined not to leave the other child out this evening, but Craig was non-committal and seemed to want to be left out of the conversation.

  ‘Not much.’

  ‘So, what do you like?’

  ‘Computer games and watching TV.’

  ‘What about you?’ Jess interrupted, maybe trying to protect her son from further questioning. ‘What were you good at when you were a kid?’

  ‘Swimming. I swam for my school and won a few medals.’

  ‘I can swim,’ said Jade. He looked at Lexi who was grinning and shaking her head.

  ‘No, she can’t,’ Lexi mouthed silently.

  ‘How about you two?’ he asked Jess and Craig.

  Craig shook his head and looked down at his plate.

  ‘I can doggie paddle,’ Jess said. ‘It wasn’t something the children’s home thought was an important skill.’

  Casey took two pieces of bread and butter and carefully put two fish fingers in between with a squirt of tomato sauce to make a sandwich. He was so engrossed in what he was doing and thinking about a plan that he was sketching in his mind, that he hadn’t realized everyone had stopped eating and was watching him.

  ‘Am I breaking a rule of etiquette? Is this not allowed?’ He was conscious of being in Lexi and Jess’s home, and in the company of their children. Maybe they had rules he didn’t know about.

  Jess started laughing and Craig grabbed two pieces of bread and copied him.

  ‘We always make fish finger sandwiches,’ said Lexi, ‘but didn’t know whether it was the “done thing”, she sketched quote marks around the words in the air with her fingers, ‘so we told the kids not to do it today.’

  ‘Oh, I would say it’s definitely the “done thing”. The four of us always did it when we were kids.’

  ‘It’s the best way to eat them,’ Jess said as she followed the others.

  ‘As long as the kids eat the peas as well.’ Lexi replied.

  Casey was enjoying himself with this little family but was determined that he would enforce a few rules of his own where his daughter was concerned.

  ‘I think Jade should learn to swim,’ he said in between bites of his sandwich, ‘the children’s home are wrong, it’s an essential skill. In fact, I think all of you should have swimming lessons and I can arrange that with the leisure centre I belong to.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t think…’ Lexi began.

  ‘Cool!’ Craig said, showing more animation than he had all evening.

  ‘I’d love to learn to swim, I’ve always wanted to.’ Jess looked across at Lexi. ‘If you’re sure.’

  ‘Right, that’s settled then. If you’re not doing anything on Saturday how about coming to the Family Fun Day there and we can book you in for lessons? Riordan’s taking Tom, so he can book Jess and Craig in as guests and I’ll book you and Jade. I’m going to upgrade my membership to a Family and Friends one anyway as they have plenty of events I’d love to take Jade to.’

  ‘What Daddy?’ Jade was jumping up and down on her seat with excitement.

  ‘Oh, there’s lots of things for kids. Zumba, street dance, football…’

  Everyone looked happy except Lexi who was glaring at him.

  ‘Jade’s too young for all that, Casey, she’s only three, and I don’t need lessons.’

  ‘I’m three and a half,’ said Jade with a mouth full of peas.

  ‘I started swimming as a toddler. The younger they start, the better. Trust me, Lexi, it’ll be alright. She’ll be perfectly safe. In fact, on Saturday, I’ll take her in the pool with me and introduce her to the water gently.’

  ‘Let me think about it.’

  Chapter Eight

  Jess and the kids relaxed in front of the TV while Casey helped Lexi wash up. They didn’t have a dishwasher, so Lexi washed, and Casey dried. She was aware of him as they stood side-by-side in the tiny kitchen. He was so tall and male, he seemed to fill the small space with his physical presence.

  He must have noticed her animosity as she was still smarting from his high jacking of their Saturday. How did he know they hadn’t already made plans? They hadn’t, of course, but that wasn’t the point. He was right, of course, Jade did need to learn to swim and she couldn’t teach her. Casey had won medals for swimming so who better than her Daddy? But she’d be watching from the sidelines; in fact, she wasn’t going to take her eyes off her daughter on Saturday.

  She glanced at Casey. He had his head down, drying a plate thoroughly, with a half-smile on his lips. The lips that had touched every inch of her that special night that Jade was conceived. She wondered what he was thinking about. Despite her overwhelming attraction to this man, she had to see him as Jade’s father and nothing else. And they needed to be civil to each other for their daughter’s sake.

  ‘I haven’t asked you how Shelley is. Did she open up to you at all?’

  ‘Eventually. We ended up having quite a chat. It’s the usual story. She’s eighteen and living with a group of people who are highly dependent on drugs. Parents disowned her when she became pregnant-’

  ‘I didn’t know she was a mother.’

  ‘She isn’t. She had a miscarriage. Boyfriend dumped her. And even after the hell she went through, her parents didn’t want her back. So, she drifted to the centre of town and lives in a squat.’

  ‘Poor kid. As if life isn’t hard enough.’ Lexi’s heart went out to the frightened young woman. ‘No wonder she doesn’t trust people.’

  ‘Exactly. Anyway, I made her promise to cut down on the drink and drugs and eat properly.’

  ‘Do you think she will?’

  ‘Your guess is as good as mine. All we can do, as health professionals, is warn her of the danger if she doesn’t look after herself and be there to pick up the pieces.’

  ‘What about the suicide attempts?’

  ‘I think they’re just a cry for help. We need to keep an eye on her though. I doubt it’s the last we’ve seen of her.’

  Lexi put the last plate on the draining board. ‘Would you like tea or coffee?’

  ‘Tea please.’

  Lexi filled the kettle and wondered what else to say. Work seemed to be a safe topic. Better stay with that. ‘So, how’s the essential oil experiment going?’

  Casey laughed, and Lexi had a feeling a déjà vu. The first time she had heard that amazing sound was the night of the Summer Solstice Ball. She had never heard anyone laugh like he did. A deep rumbling like a bass drum that vibrated through her body liquidizing her insides. It made her want to throw herself at him and kiss him senseless. To stop herself doing anything so reckless, she moved away from him and collected the mugs, pouring milk for Craig and Jade.

  ‘It
’s going amazingly well. I’ve had some positive feedback already but can’t wait to see what people say when they fill in the questionnaires. They’re anonymous so staff can be as rude as they like.’

  ‘What made you think of it?’

  ‘I want to get the Complementary Therapy Team involved in our patients’ care. There’s so much they can offer people who are frightened and in pain. It’s something I’ve been thinking of doing for years.’

  ‘You surprise me,’ Lexi said as she poured the tea into white mugs and added milk and sugar, ‘I had you down for the no-nonsense fix-‘em-up and move-‘em-out kind of trauma consultant. Oils and massages don’t really fit that image.’

  Casey leant back against the counter and crossed his arms. ‘When I was a young doctor – junior house-officer to be precise – I did my first stint in A&E, which is when I knew that was where I wanted to work.’ Lexi handed him a mug and sat at the kitchen table, sipping her tea and listening. She could never grow tired of hearing him talk. He spoke quietly but eloquently, and it wasn’t long before she was spell-bound.

  ‘The consultant-in-charge that day told me to go and sit with a lady who was deteriorating rapidly with chronic heart failure and wasn’t going to make it. We were just keeping her comfortable as there was nothing we could do for her. I was horrified. I was there to save lives, or so I thought. I wanted to be in the thick of it like on the movies, people pulled back from the brink – that kind of thing.’

  Lexi nodded. She, too, had harboured dreams of being a hero before she discovered the reality of A&E.

  ‘The last thing I wanted to do was to waste the morning with a patient I couldn’t help and who was ninety if she was a day. Her husband had died, they’d never had children and she was alone, having outlived the few relatives she’d had. The nurses were too busy to stay with her apparently. You can imagine how resentful I felt?’

  Lexi nodded. She could picture the angry, restless young man he must have been at that age.

  ‘Anyway, I went into the cubicle and she smiled at me. She had a lovely smile. She reminded me a bit of my Gran.’ Casey stared off into space, remembering. ‘I asked her if there was something I could do for her and she pointed to a bottle of hand-cream on the cabinet next to the bed. So, I put some in the palm of my hands and started to gently rub it into her hands. Her skin was like paper and I was terrified I’d tear it or hurt her in some way. But she whispered that it felt lovely, so, I just kept doing it. I did it properly, massaging it into her fingers and wrists. She talked to me about her home, her husband and their life together, all the people she’d loved and lost. Then she stopped talking, closed her eyes and just lay there with a beautiful smile on her face.