by A. C. Bextor
“Yes, Shame. He insisted no kids, Greys…”
“NO, he is not here. He does not exist between us anymore, do you understand? You’re mine; I’m making you mine right fucking now. This night changes it all, Mace. Do you understand what I’m saying to you? No more Greyson, no more dates, no more of Any.Other.Man.For.You. You’re mine after this.”
With that he thrusts into me. Oh. My. God. I feel every part of him. I close my eyes to savor this moment; he gives me a minute to adjust before he slowly starts to build his momentum into me. Whispering words in my ear about being his, waiting so long, loving my face, touching my skin and what it is doing to him, and how long he has waited. I hear his voice, I can feel the emotion behind his words and I know I’ve just given my heart to him. Although it has always been his, even as a child, I just signed over all rights. He has forever ruined me for any other.
“Look at me, beautiful. Feel me taking you, holding you, and filling you? Can you feel this, Mace? Sweetheart I’m so sorry, I have wasted so much time. I waited for you to see me, really see me, my beautiful Mace. I thought if you came to me one day, then I would know this was supposed to happen. I’m not a patient man, but I would have waited forever for this. Jesus you feel so good. Thank you, thank you for trusting me enough to give me this.”
He stops his movement just enough to lean down and run his tongue along my bottom lip. I feel his lip piercing brush against my mouth and as I run my tongue along it making Shame pick up his movements again.
“Fuck baby, you’re killing me. I’m gonna fuck you now, you want that? I want to hear you say it. I’m going to fuck you hard and fast now, Mace. You are so tight, Jesus. Let me give you a taste of what you are doing to me. Tell me you’re mine now and tell me you’re ready for this.”
“I want that. I’m yours. Always yours.”
He may not catch that meaning now, but somewhere down the road he will refer back and know that I was always his in some form or another. He took me as a child and let me into that heart of his, and now I’m asking for him to let me keep it. It’s a lot to ask from him, with that thought I can feel tears start and one slides down my temple to my hair.
Trying to stop the emotional roller coaster I’m on and just enjoy the physical one, I grab his hair and yank on it hard, sending a message that I want more. He picks up pace, touching me all over. My hands feel his back and I dig my nails into him as he closes me into orgasm number one. I am shaking. He takes a hand and puts it between us gliding it softly and gently over my clit.
“Harder Shame, give me more.”
“Jesus Christ woman.” His voice is raspy and tight.
He slams into me harder, and the hand that was softly rubbing my clit is now devouring it. I begin to feel the immediate build and then explode. Seeing stars, screaming out his name, I’m screaming it for him for the first time, but I’ve screamed it in my head so many times before.
“Not done yet baby, I need more. Give me another.”
He reaches behind me to tilt my ass so that I feel him deeper. Jesus, I didn’t think this was possible. I feel the piercing hitting the spot in me, again and again with every thrust, and then I break, mindless and shattering all around him.
I bite the sensitive skin between his neck and shoulder, not holding back. I bite down hard. I am marking him as mine. Sensing what I have just done and the reasons I have done it sends Shame over his edge and leaves him with no control. He stills in me and I know he’s allowing me to milk him right now as I close my walls around him. He whispers my name in my ear, it feels like the slowest and most seductive song I have ever heard, yet not a note was played. This is just what we do to each other.
We lay there, entwined together with hands, legs, and neck. He leans up on his elbows and blows on my sweaty chest. I shiver because of it and he laughs. I’m so comfortable here with him. I have just made love with my best friend, and I feel no different. I’m sore, but emotionally I am the same, just now I’m extremely satisfied.
God, I love this man. Everything with him is easy. He accepts me for who I am, raving bitch, meddler, over sensitive, and a crazyass, mad woman!
“Shame, what’s your favorite color?”
He pulls his neck back so he’s looking at me again and then chuckles a bit. I feel it inside of me.
“What the hell kind of question is that?”
“I just don’t know the answer; I guess I never thought of asking.”
“I like pink.”
Now I’m chuckling. “Pink? I would have thought you more of a gray or black kind of fella.”
“I’m not going to touch the fact you just said ‘fella’ right now, but if you must know my reasons for pink then I will tell you. I like pink because it’s the color of your lips, I love your shiny pink lips. This, too. Pink.”
He says as he grips my nipple in his mouth and sucks it quick and hard then releases.
“So, my favorite color is now pink. Any other questions about that?”
“No.”
“Didn’t think so.” He smirks at me now.
“Can we talk about ice cream?” I ask him, wondering if he can see I’m stalling because I’m not ready to let him go. I’m so content just laying here in his bed. It feels so familiar.
“Shower Sweetheart, up you get!”
He slides out of me and I can feel what he’s left behind dripping down my thighs.
So damn sexy!
He grabs my arms and pulls me up into him, now as we are both standing he wraps his arms around me, as if it’s sinking in what we have done. He’s holding me out a bit from his body, taking mental inventory of me inch by inch always silently asking if I’m okay.
“I’m okay, Shame. You didn’t hurt me.”
Instantly his face relaxes and he leans into me again, pulling me close and whispers in my ear, “I love your face my baby, thank you for being here.”
He lets me go and points toward the shower. I walk ahead of him, only to feel a big slap to my ass. I turn to him to give my retaliation but I can’t do anything, I’m staring at that grin. Jesus Mother Mary he’s a sight after he’s been sated. Just fucked hair, beads of sweat on those temples running down that strong jaw. All mine. Yum.
We are in the shower, and I’m trying not to ruin a moment but my curiosity is unfortunately looking for a cat to kill.
“Shame, what was that?” I motion back to the bedroom then between him and me.
“No, I’m not asking in the literal sense, I want to know what we are, you and I? Am I still someone’s little sister that you just happened to have fucked? Am I something you now would consider a Club kind of whore? Is there some type of fuck arrangement we make going forward? I don’t like the idea of sharing you but understand if variety is what you need. You’re used to having that and I’m not asking for you to change.”
I’m trying to sound nonchalant but I hear myself and I actually sound like a scared 16 year old right after losing her virginity to the football captain and wants to face the brush off head on.
Damn.
I’m so lost in my own thoughts of me and my whiney self I have missed the fact that Shame is rinsing off at a pace that could break records and he’s fixing to leave the shower! What the hell?
“Shame? Where are you going?” I’m puzzled. What in the world just happened?
“I’m going to get a fucking drink, Mace. I’m going to leave your ass up here to decide which of those fucking ridiculous choices you want us to be. You just told me variety is what I need, maybe you’re right. Finish your shower, dammit! Fuck me Sweetheart; you can be so damn stupid! Thank you for ruining this.”
He gestures between us like I just did a few seconds ago before I put my foot in my mouth. With that poof, he slams the bathroom door and I hear muttered curses as I presume he’s dressing. Oh well hell!
I’m done with my shower, I’ve cleaned up the best I can. The room smells of smoke, sex and Shame. His room always smells of this combination and thinking of this make
s me a little nauseous. Jesus, now I’m wondering how many fucks he’s had on that bed, in this room, with those same Goddamn sheets. I let him take me bare tonight as well. I actually didn’t let him do anything; one doesn’t ‘let’ Shame do anything. Shame wants, Shame takes.
No sense waiting, he’s been gone nearly an hour and it doesn’t look like he’s coming back anytime soon. I pack my purse and head out to the common area; I need to get out of this room.
I came here to talk to Hem so as I entered the still populated common party area I look around for either Sadey or Hem. Suppose it probably doesn’t matter at this point who I see first because I need to talk to each of them. I want to see Hem first, having my glue back will help me patch things up with Sadey and Shame. Again though, they are nowhere to be found.
I see Ace sitting at the bar. He sees me and oh and look at those brown eyes roll. It is kind of funny. Big, bald, tattooed, macho stud giving me an eye roll. I must rank pretty high to get one of those!
“Have you seen Shame? I don’t see anyone else around that I umm, would want to umm, interrupt.”
Party still in full swing and all, bodies everywhere and moans are the music. Now that I think about it, I’m a bit surprised to never have seen Ace with one of these Club hookers. Not going to give it another thought though, because I honestly just don’t care enough about him to ask why he remains alone all the time.
“Yep I have.” He grins. Fucker wants to play. So he’s still pouting over my fit the last time I saw him, it’s been three hours buddy, move on.
“Well... Where might have you seen him?”
“Not really a where or with whom, more of a where and in whom.”
What. The. Fuck. I wasn’t expecting that. I don’t deserve that. What I said to Shame was real, made of innocence and fear because I know how the Club members and woman work and I was just trying to find out where I fit in, but instead he comes down here for his ‘drink’ and ends up with some fucking Club piece? Hell. No. I don’t even think he’s washed me off of him yet. That thought then enrages me.
I look at Ace, he’s still grinning, fucking smug bastard. I flip him off in as ladylike manner as can be done and walk to the door throwing it open and head straight for my car. Jesus, how did I get here?
Giving up on talking to Hem or Sadey tonight I make my way home. I need to be alone, I curse myself because should have never have let Sade talk me into getting off that couch and out of my pink penguin jammies! Right now I am thankful that Sadey has no idea how to do laundry, this means my faithful little penguins are where I left them in my hamper! First break I’ve caught all night, yay for me.
Chapter Seven:
“I'm not unfaithful, darling. I've plenty of faults but I'm very faithful. You'll be sick of me I'll be so faithful”
--Ernest Hemingway
The Ride home was unbearable. With only my tears to keep me company and promises of my penguins giving me comfort, I could only replay the night’s events in my head. Hem dammit, I need to see Hem. Get our shit straight so I can have my glue. Where the hell could he be?
When I pull up to our house, I see Sadey’s car parked outside. I am relieved to see her car but, God I really hope I didn’t ruin her entire night. I thought she was going inside to the party as I was when she left me after our fight. She must have left while I was busy with Shame.
My stomach turns a bit at the thought of him. Wonder what the hell he’s doing or better yet, who he’s doing now. I’m mentally running the list of Club sluts in my head. Kegs, Cherry, Winnie, Bloom... oh, I mean Slut, Skank, Snatch, and Whore. I’m pissed and now acting like a child. Oh my god, I need to stop!
Walking in, the house is dark. No lights are on in the front room or kitchen. I hear whispers from the hallway. This is weird. I feel nervous in my own house now. I turn on every light in the front room and hallway. I head down and hear the whispers again, coming from Sadey’s room. Oh please do not tell me that Ace beat me here, cause if that’s the man’s voice I can hear whispering I will friggin come apart and I don’t care if that is a good look on me or not!
Rethinking my predicament, and deciding to mind my own business, because what she said earlier was probably true. I have so much shit stirring in my own life, I don’t have time to meddle in hers. Also I’m 99% sure it isn’t Ace I hear, so I’m going to stay out of it.
I pass her room when I hear a man say, “Come back over here, Sadey Girl. You’re not leaving this bed until I’ve told you that you’re leaving this bed and I’m still hungry for you.”
I stop in my dead in my tracks. I am going to bust someone’s ass! Not only do I know that voice, I have been looking for that fucking voice all night long. That voice is what led me to Shame and led me also to the most beautiful yet horrible ending to a night in my life.
“HELL NO! PATRICK COLLINS GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT OF THAT ROOM, RIGHT MOTHER FUCKING NOW.”
I am cursing and roaring like a mother bear and I don’t give a rat’s ass about anything or anyone else within hearing distance other than that little shit on the other side of that door! I pace up and down the hall in front of Sadey’s room. It is taking everything in this moment for me not to just chop the door down and with the adrenaline running through me right now, due to all the nights events I have no doubt I could do it.
Then I hear it. Sadey starts raving into hysterics. If I weren’t so fucking pissed off right now I would be laughing, at least smirking. I mean the woman is scrambling. Scared Sadey is like a normal Sadey on five energy drinks. It’s a lethal cocktail and those within an earshot had better guard their children. Sadey doesn’t cuss a lot, only when she’s scared or upset. Right now, she’s terrified. I want to laugh so bad right now, but I’m pissed at Hem. Hell I’m pissed at them both!
“Fuck fuck fuck, it’s Mace, she’s home. She’s here Hem, and she’s pissed the hell off. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck! Have you seen that woman when she’s livid? It is bad Hem, always bad, something to never witness. Fuck fuck fuck! Why are you fucking just lying there smiling? Dammit you heifer get up and dressed. That woman has no problem coming in here and chopping your damn dick off and then offering it to you for breakfast! You know how she is, come on!”
“Hem, hurry the fuck up!” I’m growing tired of waiting and now I hear that little prick is smiling? I have a lot on my mind and the sooner I get a load off it the better! Finally he arrives at the bedroom door as I stand there in the hall waiting.
“The fuck is your problem, Mace?”
Oh and doesn’t he look just well fucked. He’s wearing only jeans, his chest is completely covered in tattoos and it’s a rare thing for me to see him in this condition and I mentally chastise myself for picturing what lead him to me without his clothes or cut on. Although, as pissed as I am I must confess that if he wasn’t my brother I would say that the sex of Sadey Lyons agrees with him. Wait that means... she...Oh god... Hem... FUCK! Sadey senses what I am thinking, and steps in front of Hem, meaning to protect him from my fury. If I wanted at him, she couldn’t stop me.
“You did not just... tell me Sadey Lyons….you didn’t... Fuckin A... you and him... you did not just give him your V card?” I’m screeching!
I’m scared for her response, but I don’t have to wait because she’s smirking at me now and here it comes.
“Yep, I sure did. I am no longer a cherry lovin’ woman.” No, don’t put it like that. Gag.
“C'mon Mace, his name has been the only one on that card for as long as I can remember. You know it, he knew it, and everyone knew it. I think even my mother and Gerald at the damn post office knew it! “
She looks back to find his face behind her, she smiles and I see an odd look on his face. It isn’t a look I’m familiar with in regards to Hem. He’s actually fucking smiling. Holy Shit. My badass brother and the President of Peril, is fucking standing in front of me right now and he’s GIDDY like a damn schoolboy. The man has had countless women, sometimes even sharing at the same time with Shame. I’m ta
lking male whores can’t compare to my brother.
Now, I laugh! Out loud, hysterics, belly laugh.
“Mace, what the fuck is wrong with you woman?”
Hem looks a little pissed. I try to regroup but hell, I can’t. I’m doubled over now, trying to get away from them and heading to the living room. I’m about to pee my pants, stomach cramps are now starting.
Sadey comes after me now in a slow walk. Maybe I will bite her for good measure, keep her on her toes. This makes me laugh harder but I am serious in my attempts to regain composure.
Finally catching my breath I start to educate them on what is making me laugh, “My best friend and my brother finally, FINALLY get their shit together and are standing in front of me, both half-dressed mind you, after you have taken her into womanhood and you are smiling, both of you. I’m sorry, it’s just ironic, because Shame and I did the EXACT same thing, minus the whole ‘V card’, sorry honey but it’s true, and our night ended with him leaving me in the shower to go let some Club whore to suck me off his cock. So please understand that this laugh is the only thing holding my shit together since my brother Hem, took my glue!” I point at Hem directly for added effect.
Okay so my rant may have been a little over the top. They are both looking at me like I have lost my mind. Hem steps in front of Sadey and now stands between her and me in the living room.
“Sister, shut your fucking maniac mouth and let me think for a damn for a second. Brother got a whole lotta fucked up information to process just now. Give a guy a minute. All you Goddamn women are insane.”
He runs his hands through his hair in exasperation. Good buddy, I’m glad. Now you got a taste of how women see men!
“Alright, so yes, Sadey and I slept together. Yes, she is a virgin no more; you can mark that off your ‘mom’ list. You have no reason any longer to protect her virtues. I appreciate what you have done so far, but now, well, moot point.”
I visibly relax and nod. He speaks truth. He took my words well, doesn’t even appear mad. Good.