He continued to stare at me. “I’m pretty tired. Maybe I could sleep here?”
I felt my heart skip a beat at the question, the sweat forming on my palms. I’d been seeing Tucker a long time now, and there hadn’t been much physical interaction other than make-out sessions on the couch and some groping over our clothes. But I did like him…and I’d made him wait long enough. “Sure.”
He couldn’t hide his surprise at my answer, expecting another rejection. He came inside.
I set my purse on the counter and pulled my phone out of my pocket. When I turned around, he was right against me, as if he didn’t want to wait a second longer now that he’d gotten the answer he’d been waiting for.
He looked into my gaze for a few seconds before his hand slid into my hair. He leaned in and kissed me.
I kissed him back, my lips automatically moving at his touch because he was a great kisser. He knew when to kiss, to pull away, to take a breath, to give me his. His fingers dug into my hair deeper, and he moved closer to me.
My hands went to his chest, and I focused on his hardness, the way his big dick felt pressed against me. It’d been a long time since I’d gotten laid, and I did miss it, missed having a powerful man on top of me.
So, I kissed him back, my fingers sliding under his shirt to feel his abs.
His hands did the same, pressing into my stomach, slowly moving up.
His face went to my neck, and he kissed me, giving me hot kisses that made my skin flush. His hands became more aggressive, feeling me everywhere, gripping my ass through my jeans, my tits over my shirt, touching me the way a man should touch a woman.
My nails went to his back, and I felt his muscled frame, his power. I breathed quietly against him, letting him devour me.
His hands started to pull my shirt up my body, revealing my stomach, my bra.
I was attracted to him. I wanted him. But I also felt this rock drop into the bottom of my stomach, felt this unease that just wouldn’t go away. It got worse and worse, like I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I couldn’t just enjoy the sex, not with all the weight on my shoulders.
I pulled his hand away, and I pushed him back slightly. “Wait…”
He stepped back as I asked, his eyes filled with concern.
“I’m sorry.” My hands covered my face before they dug into my hair, pulling everything away from my face. “I just can’t do this…”
His hands lowered to his sides, and he kept his distance. He didn’t look angry at the way he’d been teased. “Alright, it’s okay,” he whispered. “It’s alright.”
I adjusted my shirt, barely able to look at him. “I think you’re great, Tucker. This just…it doesn’t feel right. I’m sorry.” I knew I’d been putting off sex on purpose, procrastinating as long as possible. But once the moment arrived, I couldn’t go through with it.
He slid his hands into his pockets and stood there, his expression soft, like he didn’t think I owed him anything. “You don’t need to explain anything, Cleo. It’s fine.”
I didn’t know why he was being so understanding. He’d been seeing me for over a month, taking me out to dinner and to ice cream, wasting his time. “Well…I’m sorry.” I kept my arms crossed over my chest even though he wouldn’t try to touch me again.
“It just wasn’t meant to be…” He came closer to me and extended his hand. “Friends?”
This man just got shot down, and he was still kind. He was one hell of a catch. “Friends…” I took his hand.
He gave me a slight smile before he left my apartment.
When the door was shut and I was alone, the weight was off my shoulders. I felt so much better, like I could finally take a breath, finally relax. I lowered my arms and gripped the edge of the counter, standing alone in my dark kitchen. I should feel remorseful, sending a great guy away, a handsome guy with a good heart. But instead, I felt like I’d just dodged a bullet.
Twenty-Three
Deacon
We went for a hike in the morning before it got too hot.
I carried the pack with water, food, and a first aid kit so Derek could run around and enjoy the scenery.
We spent the day looking at plants, flowers, and searching for animal tracks. He picked up a couple rocks he liked and put them in his pocket.
By the time the sun was in the center of the sky, it was time to head back. I was a healthy man, still young, but that kind of exertion was fatiguing. Even Derek was a bit tired, not running around anymore, sticking to my side at a leisurely pace.
“I’m hungry.”
“You want a snack? I’ve got stuff in the backpack. Or we can wait until we get back.”
“What are we going to eat at the cabin?”
“Leftover pizza.”
“Then I’ll wait.”
We headed back to the cabin, making it there an hour later. We both scarfed down some pizza, because even I was too tired to cook, and then we hopped in the shower before getting back into bed for an afternoon nap.
When I woke up, I slipped out of bed without waking him and went downstairs. I intended to do some work, but then I realized I hadn’t brought my laptop or any of my things. I hadn’t even thought about it because Derek was the only thing on my mind.
So, I went outside and sat on the porch, watching the water reflect the moving sun, the air cleansing my lungs because it was so pure.
Then someone knocked on the door.
I went to the entryway and opened the door, hoping to see Cleo.
But it was my brother.
I stared at him, unsure why he was there.
“Hello?” He chuckled then invited himself into the house. “Where’s Derek?”
“Taking a nap.” I shut the door.
“He seems too old to take a nap.”
“We hiked for six hours.” I went to the fridge and grabbed him a beer. “I thought you had to work today.”
“It was slow so I left early.”
I assumed he would take advantage of that by taking Cleo to Coney Island, but I didn’t ask about it. “You want some pizza?”
“Nah. Not hungry.”
We went to the patio, taking a seat in the chairs and looking out at the lake.
Tucker was quiet for a long time, his ankles crossed, his beer always near his lips.
There was a slight breeze, so the leaves in the trees moved slightly, turning the landscape into a nature soundtrack. There was a boat on the other side of the lake, small and hard to see, and it seemed like there was a single person inside it, spending the day fishing.
I was eager to continue my work, but I also never wanted to leave this place. I was glad Cleo had told me it was on the market.
Tucker turned to me. “Cleo broke things off…”
I directed my gaze back to him, seeing the disappointment in his eyes.
“I took her home last night, went inside her apartment, and things started to pick up…but then she said it wasn’t right.”
I didn’t know what to say.
He drank from his beer.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I think it’s for the best anyway.”
“I thought you liked her.”
“I did. But then it became really obvious…”
What became obvious? I couldn’t follow the conversation.
He held my gaze, looking me straight in the eye. “You’re the one she wants, Deacon.”
I stared at him blankly, my heart picking up in speed, my chest becoming tight. “Did she say that?”
“No. But it’s pretty clear.”
“How is it clear unless she says it?”
He sighed quietly. “I know this is hard for you to understand, but trust me on this.”
I continued to stare.
“I’ve been seeing her for over a month, and all we’ve done is kiss, which she was fine with. But last night, it was going somewhere…and that was why she ended it. Because if something happens with me…then nothing could
ever happen with you.”
I didn’t want to picture Cleo getting hot and physical with my brother. It made my bones ache.
“If she slept with me, she would ruin any chance she has with you.”
“Why?”
“Would you want to be with a woman who’d already slept with your brother?” he asked incredulously.
I looked away.
“I see the way she stares at you. Anytime I make a joke about you, she rushes to your defense. And anytime we’re together, all she wants to do is talk about you.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why I didn’t see it before…”
I stared at the lake.
“So, are you going to go for it?”
I didn’t turn my gaze back to him.
“Deacon.”
I forced my gaze on his.
“I know you feel the same way.”
“I’ve never said that.” I looked into my brother’s eyes, seeing the only person I could have these kinds of conversations with. I couldn’t even have them with Cleo…because we didn’t talk about that sort of thing.
He shook his head slightly, giving me a soft look I’d never seen before. “Because you don’t need to.”
Also by Victoria Quinn
Deacon Hamilton was supposed to be just a client.
And I don't date clients.
Well, not anymore.
But I've fallen in love with his son, fallen in love with our trips to the cabin...and now I can't be with Tucker anymore.
Not when Deacon is the man I want.
So I'm just going to tell him.
And hope for the best.
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The Man Who Has No Soul (Soulless Book 1) Page 23