Kandiland

by T. L Smith

  She was so, so, different to any other woman I was with. That’s what made her so interesting, so unique. Maybe that’s why I held on longer than with any other and tighter than before. There really is no other explanation for it.

  “You think I take advice from a hooker?”

  She flinches—it was a low blow. She was one, even if she prefers the company of women. She was great at it actually. One of my bestselling ladies when I first started out. Davina’s been with me for a long time. She likes to think she knows me, but in reality, no one really knows me.

  “I thought you took advice from a long-time friend. Guess I was wrong.” She stands, her heels clicking on the floor as Alfred walks in. His face is white with fear.

  Davina stops in her tracks.

  Alfred’s never afraid, he’s always composed. So it makes both of us stop.

  “Alfred, what’s wrong?” Davina asks. He isn’t watching her though, he’s watching me.

  “I need you to stay calm, not do anything rash.”

  My eyebrow rises at him, and he shakes his head, his face almost ghostly white.

  “You’re freaking me out here, Alfred.” This comes from Davina who still hasn’t moved from the spot she’s in.

  “Just say it, Alfred,” I urge him.

  His eyes look down to his hands, he steps forward, and his hand goes to my shoulder. His eyes look so sad when he looks up to me. “It’s Pam, Huxley. It’s Pam.”

  Taking a step back, I shake my head. “She was fine, what did he do now?” That bastard, I should have killed him. My hands tremble with anger as I reach for the keys straight away.

  “No, Huxley, no. You can’t go to her.” That stops me in my tracks.

  Turning to face him. “I always go.”

  “Not this time.”

  “Why?” His words make no sense. I start walking before he can stop me.

  His voice carries through the office when he says, “She’s dead.”

  My feet halt.

  My heart plummets.

  And I’m pretty sure, whatever I had left in my chest, tears to shreds.

  “No, no, no.” Davina’s voice echoes through the office.

  My feet start moving again, and before I know it I’m in the car and driving to the hospital. I’m sure I’ve broken every law to get there, but when I run through the door and see him standing there, my blood boils.

  The asshole stands taller as if being out in public will protect him. I know he did it. The reason Pam died was because of him. A man stands in front of me, blocking my path. His hand touches my chest, stopping me from going forward. My head turns, and that’s when I see her, in a bed lying peacefully as if she’s asleep. But she isn’t asleep. Machines are being wheeled away from her room, and she still hasn’t moved.

  Anger takes hold, my head turns to face him but the doctor’s still in my way.

  “How did she die?”

  “I’m not at liberty to say.”

  “How. Did. She. Die.” The doctor looks to Pam’s body then back to me.

  “Blunt force trauma to the head,” the nurse calls out as she steps from the room.

  The doctor looks to her for giving away the information, but she doesn’t seem concerned. My hands push the doctor’s hands away, and before I know it, my fists are connecting with my foster father’s face. He did this, of that I’m sure.

  Hands circle under my arms pulling me back. I fight them off and get back to him, but he doesn’t move. He’s knocked out. Good. So I keep hitting him, and hitting him until I can no longer see what I’m doing and the hands that are on me can’t stop me.

  My job is to make him suffer, my job was to protect her.

  Look where that got her.

  Dead.

  My hands are cuffed behind my back, and I smile when I see him on the floor with all the doctors and nurses fluttering around trying to help him. He got what he deserved. Hopefully, he’s fucking dead. If he isn’t, I’ll be back for more.

  “Never thought I’d see the day,” the police officer says to me, taking me to the car. “You did good, Huxley. I’m sorry about Pam.” He shouldn’t say that, but he knows all about it. I used to call the police when I was a kid. Then Pam would. They all know how we grew up. What a monster he was. He was clever though, always hid the proof. I guess he can’t now.

  “I’ll kill him if I haven’t already.”

  He tells me to shut up, that I can’t be saying that.

  I will, though. I’ll take his head from his fucking body and tear it to shreds or give it to the wolves, it’s what he deserves. No, even the wolves don’t deserve that punishment.

  Feed him to the fucking sharks, yeah, that’s what the cunt deserves.

  Chapter 27

  Kandi

  Jarod’s mother thinks things are back to normal. We’ve been staying here for three days now, and I can’t handle it a minute longer. He was always a mommy’s boy, and that became even worse after we got married. I was never good enough for her precious son. And even now, I’m still not.

  We didn’t plan to stay here. We were staying at a hotel but money was becoming tight, and my mother’s still at my house. So our option was to stay here until he got paid. He’s tried to kiss me, numerous times. He’s even attempted to sneak in the bed with me, on more than one occasion. I still haven’t let him go any further, and it’s starting to annoy him now. That isn’t my problem because I said I’d try. That was the extent of my promise. So far, I have. I tried holding his hand out in public. When he grabs it, I feel something, but it’s not what he’s hoping for.

  It’s hard to admit it, but our love has changed. I don’t look at him like he’s everything to me anymore. I look to him as someone I once loved and cared for.

  “Davina,” I say, smiling into the phone. I haven’t heard much from her since I left. I didn’t really expect to. I never went to her to say goodbye.

  “You need to come back, Kandi. Come back, now.”

  I sit up in my bed, as Jarod walks in holding a bouquet of flowers. My eyes skim his face, but don’t acknowledge him.

  “Slow down, Davina. Why? What’s wrong?”

  “Huxley’s been locked up.”

  I spring to my feet. Jarod reaches out to touch my hip, but I maneuver away from his touch. Turning, I start grabbing things and pushing them into my bag. Jarod’s voice echoes behind me, but I don’t really hear him.

  “Why, Davina? Why?”

  It has to be something big because he’d never be that reckless. He’s anything but. He’s clever. Smart. Too smart to be caught doing something to get him locked up.

  I hear the sound of her cries through the phone. She hiccups before she answers me. “Pam died.”

  My breathing stops.

  It takes me a moment to catch my breath.

  “No...”

  “You need to come, now, Kandi. He won’t listen to us. He keeps on telling the officers if he gets out he will kill him.”

  He will, I have no doubt.

  “I’m coming, I’ll be there in a few hours.”

  She thanks me as we hang up.

  Hands touch me, turning me around. Jarod’s looking at me, his eyebrows rise in question, waiting for me to give him something. Maybe an answer as to why I’m packing.

  “This isn’t working.” It’s the truth, and I’m sure he knows it as well.

  “We just have to try harder.”

  “No, it’s not working. I think I’ll always love you, but not in the same way.”

  “You love him.”

  I don’t answer, but he takes that as his answer. “I don’t accept that...” Then his hands are on my face, his lips pressing against mine. They’re hard, not sweet. My mouth stays closed as his lips move against mine. This just confirms it, I don’t love him anymore.

  He pulls back, his eyes hard as he steps back. “You should leave, now.”

  I nod then pick up my bag and head straight out the door to my car. Only looking back once to see Jarod watch
ing me. I offer a small wave, while he tries to force a smile. It doesn’t touch his lips, but he waves then walks back inside his mother’s house.

  NOTHING HAS CHANGED, not one thing. I drive straight to the police station where I know Huxley’s being held. Davina and Alfred are sitting out the front when I pull in. Davina runs to me and tackles me into a hug before I even get out of the car. I hug her, but when she pulls back, her face is filled with tears.

  “He doesn’t know we called you, he’s been in there for two days. Her funeral’s tomorrow. He has to calm down to go, or they won’t let him out.”

  I nod my head in understanding while Alfred stands, offering me his hand. I hug him instead.

  “It was his foster father. He repeatedly bludgeoned her on the head. The damage was extensive and she passed away,” Alfred says with a look of utter disgust on his face.

  “He’s still alive?” I ask him. He knows who I’m talking about.

  “My men have him, we want to wait for him.”

  My head starts shaking. “You know you should do it before he gets out. So he has no connection to it.”

  He nods, putting the phone to his ear. A few words are spoken, and then he nods his head again. “It’s done.”

  Shit, I didn’t expect that. How did those words even leave my mouth?

  “You love him,” Davina says to my shocked face. “It’s a bit crazy the things we do for love.”

  The door opens, and an officer walks out.

  “I should go in.” They both look to me.

  “They won’t let him leave until he stops threatening his foster father’s life.”

  Nodding my head, I start walking in. It’s quiet, and the officer asks me who I’m here to see. Huxley’s name leaves my lips, and he raises an eyebrow in speculation.

  I follow him back. He points to a cell, and when I get to it, Huxley’s sitting on a steel chair attached to the wall with his head in his hands, looking down.

  “Huxley...” His hands drop, his head stays where it is. Then he looks up to me, his eyes red, his face strained. “Are you ready to leave?” I ask him.

  The officer looks to him. Huxley nods his head.

  “You aren’t going to kill anyone?”

  It sounds more like a joke coming from the officer’s lips.

  “No.”

  The officer nods his head like he believes Huxley as he opens his cell door. Huxley stands, his presence everywhere. His stormy eyes look into mine, and the minute he stands in front of me, my hands wrap around his waist. If anyone’s hurt right now, it’s him. Pam was his everything. Even I knew and understood that. He doesn’t hug me back, but I hear his breathing sharpen until I pull away. My hand threads through his and I pull him with me out the front where Davina and Alfred wait.

  “You should go home and rest. You’ll want to be there tomorrow,” Alfred says, looking between us.

  “Tomorrow?” Huxley says, his hand still in mine.

  “The funeral.”

  Huxley’s hand squeezes mine, almost to the point of pain. I pull slightly, and he lets up. His hand not leaving mine, though.

  “Tomorrow,” he says.

  Alfred looks to me. I know he wants to say something about the foster father. I shake my head telling him no. He doesn’t need to hear that now. He needs his bed, and rest. This is a whole new pain for Huxley. He doesn’t experience pain, especially a love that hurts. He’s never had to face that, until now.

  We walk to my car, Davina waving as we drive off. Huxley doesn’t speak even when we pull up to his house. I wait, hoping for some words, anything really. His hand goes to his door, his breathing loud.

  “You can go now.” He gets out, closing the door.

  I quickly follow, shutting my door and running to catch up to his large strides. My hands touch him stopping him in his tracks.

  “Let me stay, please.”

  All he gives me in reply is a simple nod. He starts walking again, and I follow him into his house. He goes straight to his room up the stairs. He starts stripping his clothes, tearing them off his body as he heads to the bathroom. Looking around, as I didn’t really pay much attention last time I was in here, I notice the four-poster bed. There’s dark curtains which keep the room in a blacked-out state. A small couch is in the corner with a bookshelf next to it. No television.

  The shower starts, so I begin taking my clothes off. Walking in, his head is on the wall as the water washes over him. Climbing in behind him, I lay my head on his back cuddling him, getting him as close as possible to me. He needs it, probably more than anyone in this world right now. Affection isn’t something he’s used to. Death of a loved one isn’t something he’s used to. Pain isn’t something he’s used to.

  He’s the perfect poster boy of broken.

  “I’m sorry,” I say, holding him even tighter as his chest rises and falls with each deep breath. He lets me hold him longer than necessary, but neither of us pull away, and he doesn’t ask me why I’m here. When he knows I left. The water starts running cold, and he removes my hands and turns to face me. His stormy eyes finally landing on mine. They say so much, yet so little at the same time.

  “Huxley...” His hand leaves my lips as his lips touch mine. His hands cup my face as he kisses me, butterflies shooting through my belly. Only he can give me that feeling, the one where I feel so light, the one where everything tingles. I never had that before with Jarod. I was blinded by my love for him, I never really stopped to take notice of it. I’ve stopped to take notice this time. And I can clearly see my affection for Huxley is borderline dangerous. He almost makes me blind to his imperfections.

  His hands skim my face, the thumb rubbing my jaw as if he’s testing if I’m real. I am, so fucking real. Then his hands drop as I push myself closer to him, our naked bodies warming together under the cold water splashing around us.

  He reaches for the taps, turning them off, then lifting me up so my back touches the cold tiled wall. His body presses against me. His lips leave mine as his mouth hovers over my neck. His breathing is heavy. He pauses as he reaches between us, lifting just a fraction while he positions his cock at my entrance. Then his hands come to my back, gripping my waist.

  Huxley leans back so he can see me. Then in one swift movement, he pushes me down hard. My mouth drops open, and my eyes close. It’s almost painful, in the most beautiful, pleasurable way. He watches me, waiting for my reaction. I open my eyes, offering him a small smile as I lean forward and nip at his lips. Then I start moving, my heels digging into his ass as I begin shifting up and down. He watches me for a while, then starts moving me as well.

  Teeth bite at my neck, graze along my collarbone until he reaches my jaw. His tongue licks its way to my lips until I can’t stand being teased a second longer and grip his face to mine. Kissing him while I let him take whatever it is he needs from me, and whatever it is I’m willing to give it to him. I guess in all his life he’s never really had anything handed to him before, as something has always been wanted in return. Despite knowing, realizing that I want him, I also know that he wants me too. He made it very clear that no other woman had the same pull on him as I did.

  No other man has had such an effect on me either, the way he has. It took months and months for my love to grow for Jarod. With what I’m feeling for Huxley, it’s like a wave coming into the shore. It glides until it reaches its destination then slams into you.

  That’s what it feels like falling for Huxley.

  A fucking wave.

  I wonder if he’ll catch me, or let it pull me back out to drown while I watch helplessly.

  I hope neither. Because as we both come, his fingers lingering on my skin, I feel as if he wants me just as bad as I want him.

  Hopefully, we can drown together.

  Chapter 28

  Huxley

  Pure perfection is sleeping next to me. The same way she always does. Legs kicked over me, head on my chest and hair sprawled everywhere. Groaning, my head hurts, it hurts so fuck
ing bad. It was the first time I’ve slept in two days. Managing to pull away without waking her, I sit on the edge of the bed, my head falling into my hands.

  Today’s Pam’s funeral, and if he even thinks of attending, I’ll kill him over her grave so she can see it was for her. Anger took hold, and I knew, I just knew if I didn’t stay locked up, I would have killed anyone that got in my path. Except her. The minute I saw her I knew I could go home, that if she stayed, I would have a chance of sleep. And that’s what happened. We fucked. We slept. And we slept some more. I haven’t slept that well in a long time. Even if in my dreams I was woken to the sight of Pam’s face smiling back at me.

  Soft hands circle around my waist. She tries to pull me back but struggles. She’s too small to pull me. Turning to face her, she’s smiling up at me. The sheet’s ridden down, and her tits are on full display.

  “Come back to bed. I was comfy.” A yawn leaves her mouth. Looking at the time, I shake my head.

  “I have to dress, get ready for...”

  How do you say it?

  How can I live knowing I didn’t end up protecting her?

  It fucking kills me.

  “Oh my God...” Kandi’s up, her eyes skimming around the room. She’s naked, and like any man, I can’t take my eyes off of her.

  Perfection.

  “In my car. My clothes, they’re in my car.” She pulls on my shirt.

  I point to the bag at the door, which Alfred would have brought up. She smiles softly, calming down as she reaches for it. When I stand, I stretch, then turn to look at her. Hunger’s in her eyes as she watches me. My cock’s hard at the sight of her, it has been since the moment I woke to having her here. Whenever she’s around, it has a life of its own.

  “I should...” She looks away, pulling out a black dress. My shirt that she was wearing comes off fast as she slides it on. She bunches her long hair up in a messy ponytail as she reaches into her bag again, pulling out a smaller bag. “We should leave soon, so it’s best we keep our distance from each other... for now... otherwise, we will never get there.” Despite the situation. I smirk as I watch her eyes drop to my cock at her last words.