Master Under Good Regulation

by Kara Louise

  He sought his asylum in the library for quite a long time. I fell asleep several times. At length I awakened when I heard soft footsteps enter. Both of us looked up as Miss Elizabeth stepped in and walked to the far corner of the room. She did not see us and went to a shelf, perusing it for something suitable to read.

  I stood up and began to walk over to her. I felt, rather than heard, my master’s attempt to stop me. But he did not succeed and I continued toward her.

  I came by her side and she looked down at me.

  “Hello, Reggie. What are you doing in here?”

  I lifted a paw up to her and she leaned over and grasped it. I breathed in her light floral scent that wafted over me and looked up into her eyes sparkling with mirth. At the sound of my master adjusting himself in his chair, she turned towards him and an awkward glance passed between them. He had been observing us with the sternest of expressions etched upon his face. She gave a slight curtsey and nodded her head. “Mr. Darcy.”

  He reciprocated with barely a nod and whispered, “Miss Elizabeth.”

  She turned back to the shelf and he turned his attention back down to his book. I looked from one to the other, waiting for some further conversation to ensue. Certainly she could inquire of my master a recommendation or he might make a suggestion himself! Miss Elizabeth was content to pull several books down, opening each one and glancing through the pages before she found one that suited her.

  She took a seat in a chair on the opposite side of the room. I watched incredulously as neither seemed inclined to further acknowledge the other. I planted myself alongside Miss Elizabeth and she obliged me with a hand upon my head as she read her book, but my master did not allow himself the liberty to look up.

  As I regarded him, I noticed that he was tense and his breathing somewhat laboured. He held his book in one hand and the fingers of his other hand soundly tapped against the arm of the chair as his foot did the same on the floor.

  This resolve by which he had commanded himself to abide was apparently not the easiest task he had ever performed! Indeed, the task of not singling out Miss Elizabeth appeared far more strenuous than he most likely ever imagined.

  As I lay there, I hoped for some sort of dialogue to commence. The folly of human relationships lay before me. One would think they could find something to discuss in the solitude of this room! Some spirited discussion! Even a lively debate! If my master was so intent to refuse to engage her in discourse, why did not Miss Elizabeth challenge him on some topic?

  It appeared to me as if an agreement was formed by both parties to remain steadfastly silent, much to my disappointment. After a full half an hour elapsed with nary an acknowledgement on either side, Miss Bennet arose and left the room with her book in hand. My head sullenly dropped to my paws and the demeanour of my master noticeably relaxed. He closed his own book and leaned over to temple his fingers to his forehead. He glanced over at me and in his eyes I beheld that familiar struggle that I had noticed throughout Miss Elizabeth’s stay. It appeared to overwhelm him. But unfortunately, the unsuitability of her connections was gaining in consequence over her suitability in every other manner.

  I continued in my disappointment throughout the rest of the day. Miss Elizabeth was to leave the following day and neither she nor my master seemed at all inclined to converse. My master took his resolution seriously; he adamantly forbade himself to pay her any particular attention. Was I wrong in clinging so voraciously to the conviction that she was admirably suited for him?

  He and I took a rather leisurely stroll later in the afternoon. We found ourselves down by the stable and it helped cheer me up greatly to see Sadie. Since Miss Elizabeth had come to Netherfield, I had practically forgotten her. She was allowed to join us on our walk and her playful enthusiasm and company helped greatly to ease the heavy burden I was carrying. Unfortunately, it did little to ease my master’s burden, as I suspected he wished despite himself, for the society of one very particular person.

  Later that evening, my master and I returned to the library. We sat silently in the cold darkness, the only light a small flickering flame from a single candle nearly burnt out. The house was peaceful and silent, as everyone had retired for the night. I was certain that but a few hours remained before the sun would make its morning appearance. My master nursed some strong drink from a goblet he held tightly in his hand. I looked up at him with grave concern as he stared across the room. His eyes were fixed to the place were Miss Elizabeth had stood earlier that day as she looked through the small selection of books for something suitable to read. I still could barely comprehend that in spite of the good amount of time they had passed in close proximity in the room together, they had spoken barely a word to the other.

  I rested my head upon my paws, fighting the urge to close my eyes as I was feeling the effects of having slept very ill these past few nights. The pacing back and forth in the early hours of the morn, the tossing and turning when in his bed, and the debates my master held with himself on the merits or defects of Miss Elizabeth had not only wearied my physical body, but elicited feelings of melancholy, as well.

  He filled his goblet again and took another sip. His unexpected words, though softly spoken, startled me, causing me to look up.

  “So she leaves on the morrow? So be it! Let her depart this house and allow me peace of mind again!”

  His voice was slurred, to which I attributed his drink, but I surmised that rather than numbing his feelings, as was likely his desire, it heightened them.

  “So you displayed your country manners, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, by walking three miles through muddy fields and along soggy roads only to boast a glowing countenance when you arrive! Did you suspect the effect that would have on me? Was that a purposed employment of your arts to entrap me?”

  His rigid and erect comportment, to which I was so accustomed, was slumping gradually into his chair with each gulp of his drink.

  He lifted up his goblet into the air. “Challenge me on every thought and opinion, even when I am extending a compliment your way!” He lowered his glass and swirled its contents, looking down into the liquid. His person swayed as well, as if every fibre of his being was in a swirl of conflicting thought and emotion. “Dare to weaken my defences and my resolve with your sparkling eyes and delightful smile, even as you confront me!”

  “Then astonish me by defending me to your mother when she misconstrues my meaning! Yet you clearly comprehended my intent when I stated that in a country neighbourhood one moves in a very confined and unvarying society. How am I to remain collected in your presence when one moment you defend me and the next you pronounce judgment?”

  He shook his head slowly and he took another sip. “Refuse my offer to dance a reel or walk into the avenue. Laugh at my attempt to placate the incivility directed at you by Bingley’s sisters.”

  His head dropped back and his eyes stared vacantly at the ceiling above. “Disappoint me by remaining silent when I wish so much to hear your lively voice and your clever and thought-provoking opinions.”

  He let out a huff. “Mock me, that I am without those follies and nonsense that allow for teasing! Examine me, Miss Bennet, and proclaim all my defects!”

  He brusquely ran his hand through his hair. “Torture me with your relations! How can one be so suitable for me in so many ways whilst at the same time be so completely unsuitable because of her family connections?”

  The flame of the candle extinguished and in the darkness, he set his goblet down. In a whisper, he declared to himself, “Come tomorrow, all will return to the way it ought.”

  He looked down at me. “Come, Reggie, I think it is time we retire.”

  He began to stand up, but just as suddenly, he grabbed for the armrests of the chair. Bringing one hand up to his head, he crumpled back down into it. “Perhaps not.”

  He sat quietly for a moment, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

  At that moment, the sound of soft footsteps could be heard approaching.
My tail unwittingly thudded against the floor several times as I caught the scent of Miss Elizabeth. I was about to get up to greet her when a large foot came down upon me, successfully preventing any movement on my part, and my master whispered in a coarse voice, “Stay, Reggie! Quiet!”

  I was sorely tempted to disobey, but thought the better of it. For Miss Elizabeth to see my master in the state he was in would not improve him in her regard. We sat quietly, in the back corner of the library, as she walked in.

  She was carrying a single candle and walked directly to a bookshelf, apparently returning the book she had taken this morning to its place. She had on a long white nightgown, modestly covered with a shawl. As she lifted her arm to place the book on the shelf, the shawl slipped from one shoulder. She was unable to retrieve it until she set the book on the shelf. My master took in a sharp breath and held it until she had returned the shawl to its proper place.

  I have never seen an angel before, but I would have to surmise that she must have looked exceptionally like one. Georgiana had often told me stories of angels, confiding in me that she was quite certain her mother was one. Miss Elizabeth’s long, dark hair was let down and highlighted by the flame of the candle. Her white gown practically glowed against the darkness of the room. Her graceful movement across the floor, as she turned back to the door, made her appear to float rather than walk.

  We remained steadfastly silent, listening to each footstep that took her farther away from the library and then up the stairs. At length, we heard a door close.

  My master’s voice shook with derision. “Dare to despise me, Miss Bennet, for admiring your figure clandestinely in the darkness of this room! I own that as a true fault of character! But as I sit here, fighting every urge to act on my impulses, one fault you will never be able to ascribe to me is ungentlemanlike behaviour towards you!”

  After a moment’s pause, he said, “So depart, Elizabeth, and give me peace!”

  His breathing was heavy and he leaned his head back. Within a short time, he had fallen into a deep, but restless, sleep.

  Chapter 14

  The next morning, my master and I awakened in the library to the sounds of servants readying the house for a new day. My master shook his head and brought a hand up to rub his temple vigorously as he made an attempt to get his bearings.

  “It would appear as though we slept all night in the library, Reggie. I fear I drank a trifle too much last night. Remind me never to do that again!”

  He stood up slowly, grasping his head. “Come. Let us see if we can escape to my chambers and freshen up before anyone takes notice of our situation. All that I require is a good splash of cold water upon my face and a cup of coffee to return to myself again.”

  I wondered whether he truly would return to his self -- ever again! I knew that my acquaintance with Miss Elizabeth had changed me. From the very beginning of our acquaintance, I felt a kinship existed between us. What I beheld in her had given me hope that a lady suitable in every way had been found for him. Could he not see that? Had making her acquaintance not somehow altered him in the way it had me? Despite his determination to argue that it had not, I was of the opinion that his uncharacteristic behaviour last night rather proved that it had.

  *~*~*

  Later that morning, as the party gathered in preparation to depart for church, I gave one last perusal of my master and Miss Elizabeth. Though I knew he was still feeling the effects of his intemperance, my master did not display any outward indication of it, other than an unusually large share of coffee at the morning meal. Perhaps if Miss Elizabeth had been aware of his impressive recovery, she might have been more obliging. Instead, she ignored my master entirely.

  Miss Elizabeth’s attention was wholly occupied with her sister, a joy she shared with Mr. Bingley. He took every measure to ensure that she was well enough to join them and to affirm that he was most delighted that she was. Even Bingley’s sisters expressed great delight in her recuperation and commented on how the Misses Bennets must anticipate their return home. My master stood resolutely apart from the others, abstaining from entering their conversation. I confess I remained in my own corner and sulked. I was downcast, disheartened, and not a little disappointed. I knew any opportunity for me to see Miss Elizabeth again was negligible and my master did not appear inclined to appease me nor to allow himself the liberty of enjoying her company any further. He was steadfastly determined to exhibit naught but the most basic civilities towards her.

  I awaited their return from church with very little optimism that my master might break his resolve to avoid Miss Elizabeth. Unfortunately, he lived up to my expectations and it was very soon after that the Bennet ladies made preparations to depart Netherfield. My master politely joined Bingley outside as they approached his carriage to embark, but he kept himself back. With an eagerness to express my admiration and pleasure at being in her company, as well as to exhibit my disapprobation towards my master’s resolve, I approached her with a fervent wag of my tail.

  As Bingley bid farewell to her sister, Miss Elizabeth came down and cradled my face. “I thank you, Reggie, for making my stay here so delightful.” She nuzzled the top of my head and when I lifted up my paw to her, she took it gently and a ready smile danced upon her face. “It has been a pleasure,” she spoke softly as she released it.

  With a twinkle in her eye, she reached into her satchel, saying she had a little token for me. She pulled out what looked like a short piece of rope.

  “This is for you, Reggie. I found it on one of my walks and thought you might like it as a toy. I tied some knots into it on both ends so it may be easily grasped.”

  She held one of the knots in her hand and dangled the rope in front of me. When I grabbed the other end with my teeth, she pulled and I held on tighter.

  “Oh! It appears as though you have played tug-o-war before!” She leaned forward and whispered, “Pray, do not tell me that Mr. Darcy has engaged in such diversion with you!” She laughed and stood up, letting go of the rope. I kept a sure hold of it within my jaws, hoping she might continue our game. But to my utter disappointment, she turned to allow Mr. Bingley to hand her into the carriage.

  I turned to my master, who did nothing more than bow and politely say goodbye. He had such a severe look on his face! I do not doubt that it said to everyone around him, ‘Let us get this tedious farewell over with directly.’ But I, as his most constant companion, knew that in fact he was thinking, ‘I find her so beguiling I know not what I shall do.’

  As the carriage drove away, I was left with an emptiness that pervaded my whole being. I could not imagine our remaining stay at Netherfield to be half as enjoyable as these last days in the society of Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

  *~*~*

  For those first few days after the Bennet ladies departed, my master displayed but the barest civility. Miss Bingley made every attempt to engage him in conversation -- even in an animated debate, as she had observed the attention he had bestowed upon Miss Elizabeth when she challenged and argued with him -- but Miss Bingley’s attempts were wholly futile. As she grew more and more desperate in her attempt to find a topic -- any topic -- to which he would respond, my master grew proportionately less forthcoming.

  He was making a concerted effort to rein himself in even more tightly under that rigid control that he had found himself lacking the past week. Little could Miss Elizabeth guess how easily and unexpectedly she wore down his meticulously formed defences during her stay at Netherfield.

  Despite his dogged determination, however, it became quite apparent to me by how easily he became distracted; how little he was satisfied with his book, a meal, or even a day spent out hunting that his efforts were to no avail. He could not concentrate and found himself the object of much chiding for his lack of attention when Bingley or one of his sisters addressed him. His day was fraught with aimless meanderings, futile endeavours to distract himself, and impatient rejoinders to his friend and his hosts.

  Did I dare hope
that he found himself missing Miss Elizabeth just as much as I missed her? Did the expression of bewilderment that frequently permeated his countenance indicate that he was not quite sure how to stifle such a relentless partiality towards her?

  One can hope, can they not?

  I began to comprehend that whilst he had been convinced that her departure would bring him peace of mind, it seemingly was having the opposite effect. The more effort he exerted attempting to forget her, the more difficult he discovered it to be.

  We were all gathered in the sitting room one afternoon a few days later. My master was holding a book in hand but staring aimlessly at the fire flickering in the hearth. Quite unexpectedly, Bingley announced, “I cannot help but wonder how Miss Bennet is faring. I believe I will set out directly for Longbourn and inquire after her!”

  He stood up with a noticeable eagerness and was walking toward the door when a voice halted him.

  “Bingley, allow me to accompany you.”

  I believe there were three of us in that room who were quite surprised by this request. Miss Bingley turned with visible astonishment; I glanced up with a great deal of pleasure, and my master, who had uttered those words, collected himself forthwith.

  “Allow me… if you will, Bingley, a moment… whilst I tend to something upstairs before we depart.”

  He excused himself and hurriedly quit the room with me following close behind. As he darted up the stairs, I heard him mutter, “Whatever prompted me to make that offer?”

  Entering his chambers, he walked before the mirror and took in a deep breath as he glanced at his reflection. He straightened his coat and suddenly began arguing with the man staring sternly back at him.

  “It is no use! I find myself with no other option but to go to Longbourn with Bingley with the hopes of seeing her again! Inferior connections or no… “