by Kara Louise
Occasionally there would be that gentle reminder of Miss Elizabeth that would unexpectedly bear down upon us through some word spoken or simple action. It presented itself in many forms.
As Georgiana worked on her needlework, the manner in which my master attended to every meticulous stitch, gave rise to the belief that he was imagining Miss Elizabeth’s same actions at Netherfield. Did he picture her joining our quiet family circle, with her ready smile and keen observations? When Georgiana played on the pianoforte, did my master recollect that evening Miss Elizabeth played for us at Netherfield? When we sat quietly in the evenings, did he think of Miss Elizabeth and her spirited conversations? I strongly believed that he not only thought of her, but believed she and Georgiana would have taken great pleasure in each other’s society. I was also quite certain that he envisioned her as a most delightful Mistress of Pemberley.
While my master was obliged to take several short trips into London during the winter season, it was decided that I would remain at Pemberley. He deemed it wise for me to remain back, for which I was actually quite grateful. Throughout my life, my preference was to accompany my master wherever he went, but in my advancing years, I was now reasonably content to remain at Pemberley where I was not continually reminded about my age and condition.
There were several occasions when my master departed quite speedily and unexpectedly for London after receiving a letter bearing Miss Bingley’s officiously floral scent. He would claim he was obliged to tend to some business there, but I suspected in truth that she had bid him come as a reinforcement to hamper any wavering her brother was inclined to make regarding Miss Bennet. I often wondered whether she was truly in need of my master’s assistance or was using her brother as an excuse to throw herself in my master’s path.
My master spoke little when he returned from those trips to London and almost appeared a bit more hardened in his demeanour. He was keeping his resolve and maintaining his regulation, and I believe it was taking its toll on him. For I, who knew him so well, could see the sense of loss pulsing under his forbidding countenance. Pemberley had always been his refuge, but now he walked through the halls as if he was searching for something, as if there was something missing, as if someone who belonged here was not. But to my disappointment, he refused to concede to himself that he had the means to attain that joy and fulfilment that was so lacking.
As the days and weeks passed, my master’s eyes reflected a resignation more than the loss that I could so easily discern. He appeared to grow less and less affected by those things that unremittingly gave me remembrance of Miss Elizabeth. Not for the first time, I found myself meditating on the mysteries of the human heart. Dogs possess no artifice, our devotion and loyalty steadfast to those who earn it. How is it, I wondered, that humans can so easily forsake those to whom they are endeared? Either he had put her out of his thoughts and heart, or he became very adept at hiding it from me. Either scenario left me bereft for my master’s future happiness.
*~*~*
An unmerciful cold swept through Pemberley that winter. A thin layer of snow dusted the ground and mounded upon the branches of the trees, painting a pretty picture outside. But inside, although warmed by the fireplaces, another type of coldness had taken hold.
While outwardly my master was excessively attentive to Georgiana, he seemed to be lacking any trace of emotion from within. His smile did not reach the depths of his heart and he rarely gave way to laughter. Frequently I noticed Georgiana look at him inquisitively as if she perceived a change in him, but she never questioned him about it.
As Easter approached, I began hearing talk of Rosings Park. Georgiana, too frightened to contemplate being forced to endure the society of Lady Catherine, prepared to return to London in a week’s time with Mrs. Annesley. However much I would miss Georgiana’s gentle presence, it was with a great deal of anticipation that we awaited the arrival of my master’s cousin, Richard. He was expected any day and while my master did not look too favourably upon their annual visit to their aunt’s, he was anxious to see his cousin and spend some time with him.
With great fanfare, my master’s cousin Richard arrived one afternoon. Loud and ebullient, he entered the house, passing off his hat and coat and demanding to know where his cousin was hiding.
My master and I were in his study and he lifted his eyes up to the door when he heard his cousin’s voice. He looked back and me and announced, “It will only be a matter of seconds before that door will fly open and Fitzwilliam will enter unannounced and demand something to eat!”
My tail thumped enthusiastically as I heard his footsteps approach the door. And as always, the door opened wide and with a beaming smile, Richard asked, “When is dinner?”
My master and I both rose to our feet. The two cousins walked toward one another and extended a hand for an enthusiastic handshake whilst I nudged our guest’s other hand, which was dangling down by my nose, to secure his attention. He favoured me with a vigorous tousle of my head.
After the two men’s initial greeting and inquiry as to the other’s well being, Fitzwilliam again asked about dinner.
“Do they not feed the officers sufficiently, Fitzwilliam?”
“Now you are beginning to sound like our aunt. It has merely been a long day of travel and I am famished! And you had better tell me that Georgiana is still here or I shall have your head!”
“She is, and your timing is impeccable, Richard. Dinner…” he glanced over at the clock perched prominently on the mantel over the hearth, “should be served shortly.” He guided his cousin toward the door and told him, “I will wager Georgiana is in the music room. Shall we?” He gave a sweep of his hand to allow his cousin out the door.
The addition of Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam to our party added a certain spiritedness again that had long been dormant at Pemberley. I suspect he was the only person I knew who could tease my master most incessantly and get away with it. He knew precisely how to make Georgiana laugh (usually at her brother’s expense) and he was a well-needed and appreciated guest.
Georgiana returned to London two days later with Mrs. Annesley and we prepared to depart for Rosings Park. As was the norm, we spent the night in London at the townhome, which afforded my master the opportunity to briefly tend to some business, and then the following day, made the remaining journey to Kent.
*~*~*
We spent a rather uneventful night in London and departed early the next morning for Rosings. Our journey thither took longer than anticipated and I found myself exceedingly restless. The muddy roads from the recent rains interminably slowed our progress and I was anxious to get to Rosings merely so I could get out and stretch my cramped legs. My master and his cousin were similarly affected, stretching their torsos one way and then another, rubbing their necks, and reaching out with their arms to loosen their muscles.
The two men passed the time alternately between reading and conversation with each other. Thankfully, we stopped for a brief respite where the men enjoyed a meal and I was allowed to scamper about a bit.
As they returned to the carriage, my master looked across the road and noticed some sort of establishment. He gave a slight chuckle as he announced its name, “The Good Apple.”
“Why do you find that humorous, Cousin?” Fitzwilliam asked him.
“Oh,” he waved his hand dismissively. “It just brought to mind some spoilt apples we had in town and how I made use of them to convince a friend of a very imprudent decision he was about to make.”
“Is that so? This is intriguing, indeed. Pray, continue.”
As they settled in the carriage, my master proceeded to tell his cousin about his friend (he politely refrained from mentioning that it was Bingley) who was quite apt to make hasty and unwise decisions. Just hearing him retell the story brought back a great pain that I had not felt in some time.
“So you used a rotten apple to convince him that this marriage into which he wished to enter would be most imprudent?”
My master proudly nodded his head. “A most objectionable match.”
“And it worked?”
“Exactly as I hoped it would,” he replied with more than a little self-satisfaction.
“You appear quite triumphant in your success, cousin.”
“I must admit it was well thought out and carried off quite admirably.”
I easily noticed the look of incredulity Fitzwilliam gave my master. I wondered whether he felt in awe of my master’s ability at persuasion or perhaps he felt -- as I did -- that he had no right to be interfering with his friend’s happiness.
I let out an irritated growl and closed my eyes, hoping to get some sleep.
“It appears, Cousin, that your faithful friend here does not look kindly on your interference,” Fitzwilliam laughed. “I am not sure I would appreciate it either, if I were your good friend!”
When at length we entered the park at Rosings, the two men began collecting their belongings in anticipation of exiting the carriage as soon as it came to a halt. As we passed through the lane, however, I heard my master mutter something under his breath and the carriage came to a halt.
I looked up and beheld a tall, stout man bow slightly and then approach the window.
“Good day, Mr. Darcy, Sir.” He bowed again. “I consider it an honour, as clergyman of Rosings, to welcome you.”
He gave a deeper bow this time, clasping his hands together.
I saw my master and his cousin eye each other quizzically and when he arose, my master introduced his cousin to Mr. Collins.
Aha! I thought to myself. So this is the man that was so often talked of and ridiculed by Miss Bingley and her sister. I had never the occasion to make his acquaintance whilst at Netherfield, but had heard a great deal about him; in particular, that he was related to the Bennets, yet another mark held against the family if I believed Miss Bingley.
“It is my pleasure,” Mr. Collins continued, “to extend an invitation for you to stop at the parsonage at your leisure. My wife and I and our guests would be most honoured to receive you.”
“Thank you for the invitation, Mr. Collins,” my master replied very politely. “We shall make every effort.”
The man bowed again and as the carriage pulled away, my master uttered, “I had completely forgotten about Mr. Collins.”
His cousin returned him a curious glance with a definitively raised eyebrow. “Who is this Mr. Collins and how is it that you are acquainted with him and I am not?”
“Consider yourself fortunate, Richard. He was in Hertfordshire while I was at Netherfield. He is… he is…”
My master stopped and his face paled.
“He is… what?” asked Fitzwilliam.
“He is a relative of a family that lived there. That is all.”
While appearing to shrug off the effect this man’s sudden and unexpected appearance had on him, my master could not veil from me the sudden harshness of his breathing or the nervous tapping of his fingers. If his thoughts had travelled the same direction as mine, he was now dwelling on Miss Elizabeth and the possibility that he might very likely hear something concerning her from his aunt’s very own clergyman.
The carriage stopped and the door was finally opened, allowing me to jump out. Running over to the closest tree, I took care of a very pressing matter before returning to the men who were walking slowly toward the manor. As I was wont to do, I took in the scents around me, identifying those that were familiar to me and curious to find out about those that were not.
Just as I heard the sound of Lady Catherine’s garish welcome, I detected the faintest hint of a familiar scent. With tail wagging and nose to the ground, I set off in search of a stronger source.
My master called me to come as they all walked toward the house, but I found it difficult to pry myself away from the aroma that was so compelling.
“Is there some explanation for Reggie’s behaviour, Darcy?” his cousin inquired. “He acts as if he is on the trail of some great treasure.”
My master may have made some excuse for my behaviour, as he had been prone to do of late, but as I was out of hearing distance, I could not tell you what he said. When I could find no stronger scent in close proximity, I resignedly ambled over to join the others.
I trailed everyone into the home and listened as Lady Cat inquired after the two men. Without waiting for their response, she began telling them news of the neighbourhood. Both men bore it civilly, as this was the norm. They knew that if they let her unburden all her cares and complaints upon them when they first arrived, the rest of their visit would be reasonably tolerable.
“You must know, my dear nephews, that I am prodigiously attentive to everyone’s needs and just the other day, I had to insist that the Carltons, on the south side of the park, deal more firmly with their unruly children. It is not to be borne how some parents exert so little control over their own!”
She spoke of another family and their unfortunate predicament as we came into the sitting room. Anne was awaiting us there.
My master and his cousin both dutifully proceeded over to Anne and leant over, giving her a very familial kiss on the cheek, all the while her mother continued her recitation. My master, feigning interest in the prospect from the window, walked over to it and I eagerly rushed over to greet Anne. That scent from earlier, however, unexpectedly washed over me again in a much more pointed manner, completely halting me in my steps. It seemed to infuse one chair in particular, and I gave it a thorough sniffing. The sudden realization of it struck me with a thrilling jolt! Miss Elizabeth! Miss Elizabeth had been here!
And just as I looked over to my master, tail wagging with uncontrollable delight, Lady Cat made mention of the guests that were presently visiting her clergyman and his wife - Mrs. Collins’ younger sister and her friend, Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
My master whirled about abruptly, paling at the mention of her name and I saw him reach for the edge of a nearby chair, as if to keep upright. The astonishment he obviously experienced went unnoticed by everyone but Anne and me, as we were the only two facing his direction. As I watched him struggle to gain back his composure, I thought it promising that the mere mention of her name would so easily disquiet him.
Lady Cat hastily went on to another pressing matter, but my master could no longer attend her words. His eyes turned again to the window that faced Hunsford. Could he have been hoping to catch a glimpse of her? From the expression on his face, I knew he was calling to mind memories of several months past. He tightened one hand into a fist and with the other, straddled his mouth. He did not hear his aunt address him.
“Fitzwilliam! Did you not hear me? Are you quite well? Was the journey particularly difficult?”
“I beg your pardon, Aunt.” He cleared his throat and brashly ran his hand through his hair. “I am well, perhaps a little tired, that is all.”
“Well, that can be expected after travelling all day.”
I watched as she threw her hands together in a most satisfied fashion. I knew this signified that she had concluded her account of the neighbourhood and was about to lavish her praise upon my master. He barely had time to recover from her announcement concerning Miss Elizabeth when she began, “I have so eagerly anticipated this visit, Nephew. I was most disappointed that both of you were forced to depart early last year. I insist that you extend your stay this year.”
As my master seemed not inclined to speak, Fitzwilliam set the record straight. “I thank you, Aunt, but I shall only be able to remain for the expected three weeks.” Looking intently at my silent master for further confirmation, he added “But I can only speak for myself.”
My master’s eyes widened. With only the slightest quaver, he stated, “I shall give it some deliberation.”
My tail thumped to the ground in delight while Fitzwilliam eyed him with disbelief. My master was at least considering lengthening his stay! For my part, that was highly encouraging, for as decidedly as he had removed Miss Elizabeth from his thoughts these past
few months, he could readily have decided to quit the place immediately, knowing she was in the vicinity.
“Now, I know this will prove tedious, but I must insist you both pay your respects at the parsonage. There is no need to stay on long, but you must do it for me.” She turned to my master folding her arms firmly in front of her. “Their guests claim a prior acquaintance with you,” she said in a most accusing manner.
“Yes, that is correct,” he stated succinctly and offered no further information.
“Miss Bennet is certainly an impertinent girl if you ask me. Such decided opinions!” She dismissed her with a wave of her hand. “And Miss Lucas never utters a word! I find little to admire in their guests, but you must pay a visit. It can be deferred, however, until another day.”
She turned to Mrs. Jenkinson. “Pray, return Anne to her chambers. This has all been too much exertion for her.” Then she turned back to her nephews. “You may freshen up in your chambers now. Dinner is served at six o’clock.”
Both men nodded in acquiescence and departed with little delay. I was torn between following Anne or my master. While I greatly wished to see how Anne was faring, I had an even greater wish to ascertain my master’s deportment. There was really no other choice. I followed my master.
As we walked up the stairs to my master’s chambers, his breathing deepened again and became quite irregular. The servants had brought up his trunk and were in the process of unpacking it when he said, “Pray, allow me some time to myself and you may return at a later time to unpack my things.”
“As you wish, Sir.”
As soon the servants departed, my master collapsed into a chair, his hands clutched together. “You knew she was here, did you not?”
It was more a statement than a question, but I wagged my tail decidedly and looked up at him with eyes that implored him to take every opportunity to put things right between him and Miss Elizabeth.