by Kara Louise
Shaking his head, he said, “I never once entertained the notion that she would be here!” He took in a few deep breaths to collect himself.
He looked down at me and turned his head askance. “How can it be that I have done everything these past few months to expel her from my head and heart and now, when I hear she is nearby, she has completely filled every thought in my head and invaded my heart as easily as if I invited her back in?”
I whined and offered him my paw, trying to constrain my excitement and anticipation that Miss Elizabeth’s presence here might occasion a more pleasing turn of events.
He dropped his forehead into his hands and his fingers opened and closed repeatedly into a fist, grasping ringlets of hair with each clenching. “I can do this,” he said softly. “I can do this.”
Slowly he lifted his head. My tail wagged and I came and placed my head upon his knees. He took his hand and stroked the top of my head. “I know I cannot hide anything from you, Reggie.” He lowered his head and let out a huff of air. “I can scarcely breathe for contemplating her presence across the lane. How shall I endure seeing her face, beholding her sparkling eyes, and listening to her sweet and bewitching voice?”
He stood up abruptly and walked to the window. “No, Reggie, I fear that I shall not be very attentive company this afternoon and tonight will be another matter all together. Every thought will be on that very first moment when I look upon her countenance again.”
My master was absolutely correct. He was quiet in the company of the others. I do not believe that his reticence was noticed, as his cousin bore the responsibility of most of the conversation with his aunt. Whilst Lady Cat did make several attempts to engage my master, he answered her questions politely but did little to elaborate on any of his answers. Dissatisfied with his responses, Lady Cat turned her attention exclusively to Richard. It was only Anne sitting quietly in her frail but perceptive condition, who eyed my master with a knowing apprehension that something was pressing heavily upon him.
That night, as he lay in his bed, he tossed and turned, occasionally bringing himself out of his bed and pacing the floor, or gazing out the window. I wholeheartedly wished that he would get a good night’s sleep so as to at least appear presentable on the morrow in the anticipation of a meeting with Miss Elizabeth. But it was not within my power to bring about and it was only in the early hours of the morning that sleep overtook him.
*~*~*
On the following morning, we were honoured with a visit by Mr. Collins, who came to pay his respects. I must admit he was an odd sort of character, ingratiating and obsequious to Lady Cat, which at times pleased her and at other times seemed rather to annoy her. Mr. Collins also appeared to take great pleasure in the fact that he and my master were previously acquainted; a fact in which Lady Cat for some reason derived no satisfaction.
Of all the parties at Rosings Park, I was most keenly attentive to my master. I wondered whether he would be eager to pay a call to Hunsford or steadfastly avoid it as long as possible. My ponderings were answered almost immediately.
When Collins began to take his leave and extended an offer for my master and his cousin to pay their respects to his wife and guests at Hunsford, my master quite unexpectedly suggested that they accompany him back.
“We shall walk back with you directly, Mr. Collins, if that would be acceptable to you.”
Lady Cat’s eyes narrowed at her nephew as she must have realized, as I did, that he answered far too swiftly -- at least for her satisfaction. I believed that she was somehow jealous of the fact that he seemed to have acquaintances beyond herself.
But I would not allow Lady Cat’s odd behaviour to dispel my excitement. My master was off to see Miss Elizabeth on his own volition! Nothing could have made me happier.
To my great delight, he invited me to accompany them. He adamantly reminded me, however, that I must remain outdoors when they went indoors. As we spanned the distance from the park across the lane to the parsonage, Mr. Collins took short, quick steps, which put him quite a bit ahead of us. His separation from the gentlemen gave Fitzwilliam the opportunity to demand that my master shed some light on these guests we were about to visit.
“So tell me, good cousin. Do I dare hope that I will find these guests a preferable diversion from our aunt?”
Without looking at him, my master answered, “There is every possibility.”
“But please reassure me that they will be more intelligent than this Mr. Collins is!”
“There is one in the party that I found… that is… if I recall correctly, she is quite charming and intelligent.”
I watched as Fitzwilliam boasted an eager, confident grin and suddenly my master tensed, as if all his eagerness to expedite this first meeting with Miss Elizabeth was now leaving him fraught with anxiety. I began to sense that there was something else as well. He was feeling somewhat envious of his cousin! Could he believe that his cousin, who always exhibited a lively and self-assured demeanour, would prove to be more engaging to Miss Elizabeth than himself?
As we walked along, I looked up at the two men. My master’s deportment was rigid whilst his cousin’s was easy and relaxed. My master bore a severe expression whilst his cousin exuded ease and amiability. As the two men briskly took the steps up to the house, I sat forlornly at the base. My master turned back and glanced at me. Expecting a victorious smile, I sensed rather a look of apprehension.
I lay down on the gravelled path, feeling a rising sense of doom within me. I knew not whether to risk raising my hopes for a positive meeting between them.
*~*~*
As I awaited their return, patiently hoping for an opportunity to see Miss Elizabeth again, I pondered the unexpected change in my master. Unquestionably, I hoped that he would choose not to abide by that vexing resolve he made months ago. But no, in truth I did not suspect that to be the case. I believe he merely wondered how Miss Bennet would receive him, especially after everyone’s sudden departure from Netherfield and the fact that Bingley had never returned.
After very anxiously awaiting their return, I heard the door open and voices coming from inside. I turned my head and there were my master and his cousin, followed by Mr. Collins, two young ladies, and finally, Miss Elizabeth!
Mr. Collins walked out, vehemently and repeatedly thanking the men for paying their respects so promptly and he made it clear that they all were quite honoured at their particular condescension.
I took notice of Miss Elizabeth’s manner as she walked out with the others. Whilst she did not seem troubled by my master’s presence, neither did she appear particularly pleased. I noticed no interaction between the two when they stepped out, however Fitzwilliam readily entered into conversation with her and his comments seemed to elicit from her a friendly smile.
As I patiently watched them all slowly quit the parsonage, it was all I could do to refrain from rushing up and greeting Miss Elizabeth. Her eye had not yet turned to me, so I finally let out several hearty whines and she looked my way.
When she saw me, her face lit up with great delight.
“Reggie!” she exclaimed as she hurried down the steps and leant over to scratch the top of my head. She brought her hand down under my chin and lifted up my head to look up at her. “This is certainly an unexpected surprise!” she said as the others looked on.
I greeted her with gentle grace and basked in the warmth of her merry eyes as Fitzwilliam came up behind her. “You are acquainted with Reggie?” he asked most curiously.
“Indeed I am, Colonel Fitzwilliam. He and I are the best of friends.”
“I see,” he said, as he looked over at my master, giving him a look that left little mystery as to his message, It appears as though you knew Miss Bennet more than you let on!
Fitzwilliam’s pointed glare at my master prompted him to turn away, allowing for neither a confirmation nor a denial of his cousin’s silent supposition.
It was with much regret that we finally took our leave. I lifted u
p a paw to Miss Elizabeth and she gently wrapped her fingers about it, exclaiming with a smile, “I do hope to see you again soon, Reggie.”
My master took his leave with a formal bow and few words whilst his cousin merrily thanked them for their generous welcome and a most delightful visit.
As we crossed back over the lane to Rosings Park, Fitzwilliam could not stop speaking about Miss Elizabeth Bennet. “She will be a delightful diversion from our aunt, do you not agree?” He let out what sounded like a very contented chuckle and he continued, “She has certainly caught my fancy, Cousin. Why have I not heard about her before?”
My master did not answer, and as their aunt’s great manor came into view, Fitzwilliam stopped and turned to gaze back at the parsonage. “I do believe I shall call on them again tomorrow!”
Chapter 18
The next day Fitzwilliam excused himself late in the afternoon to pay another call at Hunsford. I was greatly disappointed that my master did not choose to accompany him. He declined the invitation his cousin extended to him under the pretence that he had some business to which to attend. As he sequestered himself in his chambers and made every attempt to occupy himself, I indulged in some rather irritating moans to declare my discontent.
I quite frequently espied him merely sitting at his desk, quill in one hand, and chin cradled in the other, looking not at all as if he were attending his business. As his eyes were cast towards the window in the direction of Hunsford, I was most certain I knew where his thoughts lay. It appeared to me on several occasions that he was about to stand up, as he made the slightest movement, but alas, he did not arise.
When Fitzwilliam returned, we were regaled with tales from his visit. He happily professed how much he enjoyed the ladies’ company and boasted immodestly how much they appeared to enjoy his. He was particularly delighted that Miss Elizabeth was such an agreeable addition to their party.
My master bore his cousin’s enthusiasm with a most stern countenance. He moved not a muscle as his cousin poured forth his praise. But I sensed that underneath his staid exterior was an overwhelming surge of emotion that he could not dismiss.
So much pleasure did Fitzwilliam take in visiting the Parsonage, that he obliged himself with several more visits. Much to my disappointment, my master was still not inclined to accompany him. It was not until Sunday at church that an invitation was extended to the Hunsford party to come to Rosings that evening. I was ecstatic to be able to see Miss Elizabeth again!
Lady Cat’s behaviour that evening struck me as quite odd and I thought that she had certainly earned her feline moniker. Incomprehensible as it was to me, she seemed almost annoyed that the guests would be coming; yet paradoxically, I believed it was she that had extended the invitation. When they arrived, she greeted them civilly, but like the inconstant creature of which she put me in mind, it was plain that she was not particularly delighted in their company. She directed most of her conversation to my master who bore it quietly and civilly. And the more she pressed him, the quieter he became.
It was disheartening to me as I studied what was transpiring in this room. Lady Cat was singling out my master while Fitzwilliam was singling out Miss Elizabeth. The Colonel seemed to relish the fact that he had no rival for her notice, taking advantage of his aunt’s solicitation of his cousin. Although Lady Cat occasionally drew Fitzwilliam into her conversation, he would return his attentions to Miss Elizabeth as quickly as he could.
As I observed my master’s pained expression under his aunt’s tedious declarations, I also observed Fitzwilliam’s and Miss Elizabeth’s seemingly endless and diverting talk of books and music and who knows what else. There appeared to be a real ease and joy in their conversation and with one another that prompted me to drop my head down to my paws in an abnormal aversion to Fitzwilliam’s amiability. I could sense my master’s desire to engage Miss Elizabeth in conversation -- and I knew he could, as evidenced at Netherfield -- but he was unfortunately not being given the opportunity by his aunt.
At one point, their animated conversation even attracted Lady Cat’s attention and she demanded to know of what they were speaking. While his aunt was distracted, my master regarded his cousin -- and his close proximity to Miss Elizabeth -- with displeasure. I could easily comprehend regret on my master’s part, as he watched her bestow her sparkling smiles and wit freely toward his cousin and that he could not engage her as easily as he wished.
Miss Elizabeth must have promised to play for Fitzwilliam, for after dinner she obliged him with a song. She sat down at the pianoforte and I watched as Fitzwilliam drew up a chair near her when she began to play. Now why can not my master be as attentive to her as his cousin? Why must he be so attentive to his aunt and allow his cousin to claim all of Miss Elizabeth’s attention?
I had barely finished pondering my master’s peculiar traits -- and his aunt had certainly not ceased her claim on his attention -- when he resolutely stood up and placed himself at the other side of the instrument, facing Miss Elizabeth. I considered it a bold move for him, walking away from his aunt who most likely would take her umbrage loudly and long, and then purposely placing himself in front of Miss Elizabeth. He seemed determined to become a third party to the little tête-à-tête that up until now had remained elusive to him.
With an air of a challenge, Miss Elizabeth confronted my master. “You mean to frighten me, Mr. Darcy, by coming in all this state to hear me? But I will not be alarmed though your sister does play so well. There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me.”
Ahhh! I thought to myself! That is the Miss Elizabeth I remember! I anxiously turned to him to hear his reply.
My master’s demeanour softened as he spoke, “I shall not say that you are mistaken, because you could not really believe me to entertain any design of alarming you; and I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance long enough to know that you find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which in fact are not your own.”
Yes! He was making progress! Tell her what your designs truly are! Tell her how much of a pleasure her acquaintance truly has given you!
A light banter passed between them; I dare say it could have been considered flirtatious. She blithely exposed to his cousin his rude behaviour at the ball where they first met for his only dancing four dances when gentlemen were scarce. He struggled for the right words to answer her challenge as he told her of not being acquainted with the ladies in the room and his difficulty in conversing with strangers. He was exhibiting the same vulnerability as he had the evening at Netherfield. I hoped that she would appreciate just how much of a compliment he was paying her in being so forthright.
Allowing a smile to soften his features, he ended with, “We neither of us perform to strangers.”
At that, after a long gaze between the two, Lady Cat interrupted, demanding to know of what they were so intently speaking. I looked back and forth between the two, my heart beating wildly as I recognized the effort my master was now making in paying particular regard towards her.
Later that evening, after the house was quiet, I sensed a new tenor in both my master’s attitude and the direction upon which he was embarking. And I was quite pleased.
*~*~*
The next morning my master awoke and rose before the first rays of light formed to announce the dawning of the sun. He seemed to have no other agenda for the day but to pay a visit to Hunsford. And he was determined to do it without his cousin joining him.
It was later in that morning when we walked into the woods a bit -- perhaps to persuade any inhabitant of Rosings against our actual destination -- but then retraced our steps to walk across the lane to the Parsonage. As we approached, his gait became more hurried. At the base of the steps, he combed his fingers through his hair, straightened his coat, and inquired of me, “Am I presentable, Reggie?”
I barked affirmatively, believing that the alteration in hi
s resolve was having a most striking effect on his person. Even to my canine perception, he was decidedly more handsome when he was listening to his heart.
He took the stairs up to the Parsonage in a light, confident manner as I remained below. It is my lot in life to comprehend that not everyone would receive the visit of a dog kindly, even one as well-mannered as myself. I had no fear of Miss Elizabeth, but I did have my doubts about her cousin, Reverend Collins. So I wagged my tail encouragingly as my master took the bell at the door, giving it a few sharp tugs and then turned to look back at me, a cautious smile dawning upon his countenance. The door was opened and he was let in. I stayed back, content to find diversion in observing Mrs. Collins’ chickens, and hoped that his visit would be a favourable one.
That he did not return immediately I felt was encouraging. But an even better indication to me of his success with Miss Elizabeth was the surprising arrival of Mrs. Collins and her sister. I suddenly realized that he must have been visiting exclusively with Miss Elizabeth all this time. Oh! How I hoped that he made the most of this opportunity to secure her regard!
It was shortly after they walked in that my master returned. A rather amusingly triumphant grin told me everything, but I was eager to hear it from his own mouth. As we returned to Rosings, I continually nudged his swaying hand with my nose to garner his attention.
“Well, if you insist, Reggie, I will tell you. I was quite pleasantly surprised to discover Miss Bennet to be the only one at home.” He took in a deep breath and let it out in a most satisfying sigh, staring out off into the distance with a faraway look in his eye. “While I recognize that it may not have been the most proper thing to do -- remaining with her as I did -- I do believe it will indicate to her my partiality and a purposeful singling her out on my part.” He nodded his head. “Yes, Reggie, it went very well.”