The Saga of Tanya the Evil, Vol. 7: Ut Sementem Feceris, ita Metes

by Carlo Zen

  “It’s sturdy! Shit, it’s a new model for sure! Aim for the treads! If we can stop it, we can slug it to death!” Barchet yells an appropriate order. “Bring up the anti-aircraft guns! We can use them to pierce the armor!”

  I take that back. He seems to be fighting this war with nothing but an infantry mindset.

  “Sheesh, Lieutenant. I can’t have you forgetting us. Mages, follow me! We’ll pry their lids off and heat them up like canned rations!”

  “Yes, ma’am!”

  The reason aerial mages reign in urban areas is their ability to conduct combat in three dimensions. We’re more flexible than helicopters and smaller and nimbler than the humanoid weapon platforms you see in science fiction.

  Well, blasting through the canopy of a tank is easy enough. That doesn’t change even in an encounter battle in a village.

  “Major Weiss! Leave some intact so it can be used as cover.”

  “You can leave it all to me!”

  “The enemy is running scared! This is where we start our counterattack! Charge!”

  Let’s clean them up! Leading from the front, Tanya’s time serving as a sort of blocking unit ends almost the moment it begins.

  The counterattack drives off pretty much all the enemies, and once Tanya can sit back and admire their handiwork, she sighs as if to say, Finally.

  Even if the enemy strikes with artillery support, as long as they don’t have aerial mages, too, they won’t get anywhere.

  On that point, perhaps the Reich should give an award to the Federation “comrades” who sent all their mages to the lageri. It sure makes our battles easier.

  “Hmph, I guess that’s that?”

  “Magnificent work, Colonel.”

  “Lieutenant Barchet? It’s all thanks to your support.”

  Without the different branches cooperating, there is no chance of victory. An army that does the obvious as a matter of course is best. You can say that an organization’s performance depends on how well it can stick to basic principles.

  “So can we leave this up to you now?”

  “Of course. When this is over, I hope you’ll let me treat you to a drink.”

  “As you can see, I’m not allowed to imbibe. Make it a cup of your finest coffee.”

  If Tanya drinks at her age, neither military nor civil laws will protect her. The Empire is rather unforgiving when it comes to minors drinking or smoking.

  “Oh, how thoughtless of me. Would some milk or meat from the east be all right?”

  “Let’s make it a can of pineapple. Now then, if you’ll excuse me.”

  Ha-ha-ha. Time to leave the rest to Barchet and swiftly switch gears to the next task.

  “02, what’s our status?”

  “No losses, three light wounds. Nothing that will knock us out of the fight.”

  “Very good. Then we’ll move around the outside of our troops’ defensive line. Let’s treat ourselves to the fun of kicking the Federation Army in the flank,” Tanya barks. To her, it’s an easy job. No, strictly speaking, it’s probably better to say that it’s more easygoing, since the outcome is clear.

  As long as there are no mages mixed in with the Federation troops, the imperial aerial mages can run wild. That artillery division is the only enemy worth fearing in the vicinity, but given that there haven’t been any incoming shells since the initial bombardment, they’re probably either out of ammo or building a position and thus left out of the equation.

  So far, nothing’s happened to disprove that theory.

  “…Sheesh, I guess that’s it for now?”

  The enemy attack has been repelled. The infiltrating enemy unit has been eliminated. Tanya nods in satisfaction at these results, which on the whole can be termed a successful instance of ideal interior lines defense.

  “Colonel, I found the second-in-command of the Fifty-Fourth Regiment.”

  “Lieutenant Colonel Kreisler, at your service. Thanks for the helping hand.”

  “Likewise. I’m Lieutenant Colonel Degurechaff.”

  Filling each other in, as if they had agreed to ahead of time, the discussion about everything that had been neglected during the panic is incredibly smooth. As expected, sending Weiss in to negotiate really helps move things along.

  Things would have gone more smoothly if I hadn’t sent a useless greenhorn officer with the message.

  Is that why? She finds herself, in the natural course of things, praising the capable one with a good recommendation.

  “Your Second Lieutenant Barchet did a fine job. We met him partway through this ordeal, and I must say that officers who are promoted from the enlisted like him are a precious resource. I realize you’re short on people, but I’d even like to have him if I can.”

  “Oh, you knew him? He was from my battalion.”

  “Oh my. Well…” Tanya apologizes and bows her head. She can’t help but notice the past-tense nature of his reply.

  “I’m sure he would have been happy to know someone with the Silver Wings Assault Badge thought highly of him.”

  “…You mean?”

  “At the height of the counterattack, he got hit with a Federation grenade. He was groaning until just a short while ago, but the surgeon told me…”

  There’s no need to add We couldn’t save him. If anyone on the eastern front shakes their head with such mourning, the meaning is clear.

  “I had a comrade. He sleeps; I walk. Oh Lord, please have mercy on his soul.”

  “Couldn’t have said it better. Well, my unit is withdrawing. If we go now, I think we can make it to the next marshaling point. What are you going to do?”

  He must be inviting us to go with him. Give and take. It’s a mindset I appreciate. But Tanya shakes her head.

  No aerial mage unit should travel the same road as an infantry unit.

  “My troops are nimble aerial mages. We’re used to being the rear guard. We’ll stick around here for a few hours after you’ve left and then head to the marshaling point at our own pace.”

  “I really appreciate it…but are you sure?”

  “Of course.”

  Tanya responds with a broad smile.

  In contrast to slow-moving infantry, aerial mage units are made for mobility. To put it another way, their ability to shoot and scoot is their chief feature. If there’s no need to hold a position, they can simply fly away. That’s a strategy that works well on the eastern front, where the usual order of the day is defense in depth—though the static defensive battle the unit just fought in is not a great example.

  Anyway, outside of times when operating as a Kampfgruppe, there’s not much appeal in sharing the fate of another unit.

  “Oh, we’ll just throw a wild party with the jettisoned supplies of the Fifty-Fourth Regiment—if you don’t mind forgetting some choice rations.”

  “…So your Silver Wings aren’t just for show, huh?”

  “Oh, they definitely are. All right, Colonel Kreisler, I hope we both have good luck.”

  “Yes, stay safe out there.”

  The good-bye ends with salutes and well wishes. Tanya and the 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion members watch as the others leave the crumbling building.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to withdraw with those friendly troops?”

  Tanya nods at her vice commander with absolute certainty. “Major, we and the infantry move at different speeds, as I’m sure you know.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Honestly, considering how we can consistently outrun the Federation aerial mages, if all we want to do on the eastern front is escape, it’s extremely easy. Not to mention that the huge group of foot soldiers making up the Fifty-Fourth Regiment serves as a great decoy. Our retreat should go quite smoothly.

  “We have the leeway to take it slowly. I see no problem with staying here until we have cover of night. Sleep in shifts now, while you can.”

  “The beds were all blown away…”

  “I’m sure you’ll be able to find enough for half an aer
ial mage battalion. The troops who aren’t getting some shut-eye should have some tea and high-calorie chocolate.”

  “That’s quite the leisurely shift.”

  You’re not wrong. Tanya agrees with her vice commander’s grumble but doesn’t forget to tack on a warning. “If there’s no enemy attack, that is.”

  “Certainly. Then, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go first.”

  “Yes, switch up in two hours. I’ll wake you, so get some shut-eye.”

  “Understood.” Weiss salutes, and as she watches him go, Tanya realizes the first lieutenants are standing next to her.

  “Lieutenant Serebryakov, you too. Get to bed. Lieutenant Grantz, you’re with me. Go look for some coffee beans or something.”

  “Coffee beans, ma’am?”

  “Sort through the remains of the Fifty-Fourth’s regimental HQ. I’m sure you’ll find at least one bean. If that doesn’t work out, grab some of the troops’ tags and we’ll trade them in for luxury goods when we return to the rear.”

  “Got it. I’ll task a few people.”

  As the mages set off with their shovels, Tanya makes good on her words and chomps into some chocolate.

  In any case, we’ve earned a breather. All that’s left is to make our way back to the rallying point and join up with the rest of the Salamander Kampfgruppe.

  To be frank, when coordination is doubtful, cooperating with another unit is an absolutely terrifying prospect.

  It was hard to not let it show on Tanya’s face. Synchronizing on the fly is hard to pull off even for pros. To cooperate with amateurs who are fuzzy on even the basics is sheer horror.

  A ragtag crew is basically a walking nightmare.

  If someone makes a mistake and ruins themselves, that’s their own fault. Sadly, the fundamental principle of war is collective responsibility. And your life is what’s at stake.

  I’m not about to entrust that to someone I can’t believe in.

  How would that be any different from getting treated by some quack doctor who doesn’t have a license to practice medicine.

  Even in cases of disease or injury, I’m extremely reluctant to leave my fate in the hands of a doctor. But it must be done. As long as they guarantee professional standards, they deserve my respect.

  Quacks and other fakes, however, should be shot. There’s no waste more toxic than an incompetent fool who thinks they’re an expert. That goes the same for soldiers at war. If you’re receiving payment and putting your life on the line to fight, there are no compromises allowed. Troops who can’t be put to good use are nothing but dead weight, not even usable as meat shields.

  If you’re not a pro, don’t even speak to me. Don’t bother me. If at all possible, make yourself useful and cause some damage to the enemy. While it’s incredibly self-centered, Tanya is confident that these sentiments are utterly human and normal. That’s what a human is to Tanya von Degurechaff.

  Being taught that humans are political animals who construct society to serve their own interests is one of my earliest memories from Japan, my onetime schoolhouse.

  Back then, I probably didn’t fully comprehend it.

  “Sheesh, you can’t sniff at lifelong learning, can you?”

  There’s no limit to the amount that can be invested in human capital. It’s a virtue to learn whenever the opportunity presents itself. Ultimately, there’s no such thing as a professional who stops learning.

  “I guess that’s a pro’s job, huh?”

  In that respect, the members of the 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion and the Salamander Kampfgruppe are model, certifiable experts.

  They enjoy combat just a bit too much, but, considering the current situation, Tanya can only rate them highly. Personality, education, and taste are all secondary factors when it comes to evaluations. The main criterion is whether or not they can properly fulfill their duties.

  In other words, people who can’t do their jobs well are garbage. In private life, I’ll be respectful. But working with them is impossible. If it’s a choice between war maniacs who can fight a war or good-natured people who can’t do anything useful, I want the former beside me when I’m on the front line…

  Then Tanya is suddenly struck by something.

  “…Why am I assuming that I’ll be fighting in a war?”

  If you say it’s because she’s currently at war, then there’s nothing else to it.

  But for a peaceful peace-loving liberal democrat like Tanya, the state of war should be an exception. Not a natural state of being.

  War shouldn’t be used as a justification for anything.

  “Fucking hell.”

  This war needs to end.

  Tanya swallows the words instead of saying them and turns on her heel, a glum look on her face.

  [chapter] II Restoration

  UNIFIED YEAR 1976 EDITION OF DR. BAXTER’S RECORD OF THE EASTERN FRONT

  Every historian knows that the Lergen Kampfgruppe was a ghost on the eastern front.

  The oral histories all seem to indicate that the unit did, in fact, exist. It’s rare for someone who served on the eastern front at the time to not know the name.

  Imperial, Federation, and even Commonwealth soldiers continue to speak of the distinguished Lergen Kampfgruppe—of its stunning achievements, the brilliant feats and undying wartime exploits.

  At risk of being uncouth, they were glorious given the context of their existence. They and only they managed easy victories no matter where they fought. Call them heroes—or to be poetic: legends.

  Most would expect this legendary Kampfgruppe to be universally praised. But that’s not what happened. Everyone knows them, and yet nobody knows them.

  The Lergen Kampfgruppe’s true nature is shrouded in mystery. To this day, even the few survivors who say they were members aren’t sure what the truth is. One reason for that is surely the extreme rate of attrition on the eastern front.

  Of the Lergen Kampfgruppe’s order of battle, almost none of the units made it to the end of the war. On paper, the Kampfgruppe was wiped out apart from a mere handful of survivors.

  That wasn’t unusual on the eastern front.

  Undeniably terrible, but it wasn’t exceptional. The war, the eastern front—it was just that kind of animal. That’s how bitter the fighting was.

  One returnee spat, “Hearing about it isn’t enough to understand.” He snapped at me with a broken look in his eyes. “It was an extreme environment where corpses of friend and foe alike got tangled in the mud only for the armored units to churn them all up with their treads. Then the aerial mages burned what was left, and to top it off, airplanes constantly fought over the sky. I’ll never forget the smell that hung in the air.”

  Still, the depth of the Lergen Kampfgruppe’s mystery can be summed up with the word abnormal.

  It’s not as if there are no records. Its commander, Colonel (at the time) von Lergen, was a respectable staff officer whose existence is confirmed.

  He was a verified officer of the General Staff.

  Knowing that he served under the two ravens Zettour and Rudersdorf for a long time in the field of operations, the hard fight he put up on the front lines should come as no surprise.

  But the records of his era are notorious among scholars of history for critical lapses so numerous as to be strange.

  Colonel von Lergen’s post-war rank seems to suggest a deep connection between the Lergen Kampfgruppe and him, but the connection itself is incredibly unclear.

  APRIL 22, UNIFIED YEAR 1927, EASTERN FRONT, A CERTAIN IMPERIAL ARMY MARSHALING POINT

  Unexpected is probably the best way to describe it…

  The 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion’s retreat went rather smoothly. The anticipated Federation pursuit was surprisingly sluggish, and the battalion completed its withdrawal to the designated line of retreat without a hitch last night.

  While taking a simple rest and even getting maintenance done on our orbs, we still have the wherewithal to grimace at some ersatz coffee and spread
plenty of margarine on rye bread that was allowed to rise properly. If I say it that way, is the leisurely pace we’re taking here conveyed properly?

  Additionally, once order is reestablished, the organization’s power can be wielded much more successfully. On this point, the ones who benefit the most are the Salamander Kampfgruppe and the 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion at its core. This is obvious, given how the unit was formed. Created to serve as the hands and feet of the General Staff, a strike force with special emphasis on rapid response and mobility will receive the highest priority. We’re even capable of sending personnel to a depot to receive supplies if need be, though that would be nonstandard operating procedure.

  The combination of a convenient air route and a rail network means aid can arrive much swifter than Tanya could have wished for.

  “Captain Ahrens, reporting! We’re here to link up with the main force!”

  The armored officer with a cheeky expression on his face is the definition of dashing. With his well-fitting uniform topped with his crumpled crusher cap, he cuts the classic figure of a tank man. Compared to Tanya, who is covered in mud and fed up, he must have had a more pleasant trip.

  But the fact that he has come at all makes everything forgivable.

  “We’ve been waiting for you, Captain!”

  As they exchange salutes, Tanya and the rest of the aerial magic officers breathe sighs of relief. They’re all so excited for reinforcements that everyone, aside from First Lieutenant Grantz, who was already on duty, jumped up and raced over. Even straitlaced Weiss is slapping Ahrens on the shoulder with a big grin on his face.

  “Finally, reinforcements.” Cracking a smile, Tanya expresses her genuine feelings. “It’s incredibly reassuring, isn’t it, Major Weiss?”

  “Yes, it certainly is. Things just felt unbalanced with only the aerial mage battalion.”

  Letting the armored troops take care of anti-tank combat, as is their job, lessens the burden on us dramatically. It was a great king who once said that artillery turns an ugly brawl into a war. Tanks are surely similar.