Actually, she’d half expected him to ring her at some stage during the day to check on her but the phone had remained silent. No motorbike or car came up her driveway, no Kirk knocked on the door. No coercement in any form.
No trying to control the situation.
It still didn’t help.
She was still lying awake when the sun peeped over the horizon. Being tired and troubled made her grumpy, and it was with a heavy heart that she sat on the back step looking out at Oscar sunning his tummy in the morning sunshine. Cradling a hot cup of tea, she knew she had to talk to someone.
Sherry? No, she’d be so delighted that she’d try to talk her into it. Also, she was too close, as odd as that sounded.
Scott? Good God, no. That went for Ryder, too. No way could she discuss this kind of thing with them.
Dee? Somehow she didn’t think she’d be much help, not with her sometimes caustic comments, not to mention her apparent non-relationship with Ryder which was totally weird, because…okay, she didn’t need to think about that, because that was even weirder than her own situation.
Del? No.
Damn, she got on well with all her friends, had known most of them since they were kids, and that was probably the problem. She needed to talk to someone who wasn’t as close, as affected. There was one…
An hour later, Ash sat beside her on the back veranda steps cradling a cup of tea in her hands.
The silence was comforting, yet Molly didn’t quite know how to start.
Ash could have been a female Kirk, she just waited quietly. Geez, what was it with the quiet thing? Made a person eventually spill her guts.
So she did. “Kirk wants a relationship.”
“Okay.”
“I’m not so sure.”
Ash blew on the surface of the steaming liquid.
“What would you do?’
“Why aren’t you sure?”
Because I’m scared. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”
Ash didn’t reply.
Geez. “You’re not making this easy.”
“Am I supposed to?”
“I thought you could help with answers.”
“I thought I was here for you to bounce ideas off.”
“Were you by chance a counsellor in the past?”
“No.”
“Thank God for that.”
Ash grinned.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you like him?”
“Yes.” That was easy.
“Do you like being around him?”
“When he’s not unnerving me by being all silent, yes.”
“His silence isn’t always unnerving.”
“Maybe it’s because I’m trying not to tell him something and he’s trying to make me.”
“Got a point there,” Ash agreed serenely. “The man doesn’t push, doesn’t pull, doesn’t force. He just makes you finally tell him.”
“That’s not a desirable trait,” Molly pointed out.
“I think it’s quite a strong trait.”
“Dominating.”
“No, strong.” Ash swirled the liquid around carefully in the cup. “I don’t know what happened to you but if you want to tell me, I promise my lips will always be sealed.”
“Come on, you know,” Molly scoffed.
“Know what?”
“Don’t try and tell me that Scott didn’t tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
“That my last relationship ended with me being hit with a belt.”
Ash stilled, her gaze slowly turning to Molly. “What?”
“Oh shit. Scott didn’t tell you?”
“No.”
“Oh shit. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“You’re going to go home and have a fight with Scott, aren’t you?”
“Why would you say that?” Ash looked genuinely perplexed.
“Well, because…because he didn’t tell you.”
“Was I supposed to know?”
“No one was supposed to know. But he heard me telling Kirk and then spilled the beans to Ryder and Simon when he was still frothing at the mouth about it.”
“Sweetie,” Ash said gently, “those boys are tight-lipped. If they know something no one else is supposed to know, they keep their lips zipped.”
Molly looked at her in amazement. “Even from you?”
“Yes, unless it affects me directly or indirectly. Scott and I don’t have secrets, but confidential information about others doesn’t always get told between us.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Sure. Harmless gossip, general information, sometimes even not-so-general, but I don’t need to know everything he knows and vice versa.” Ash studied her. “I’m sorry you had a crap relationship.”
Molly looked out into the yard again. “Two. I had two. The first wasn’t so good, the second downright crap, but I didn’t realise until too late that Hal was controlling me, turning me into the kind of woman he could control, order around, punish.”
“It wasn’t what you wanted.”
“No. When I objected, he beat me with his belt.” Somehow it wasn’t so hard to say anymore, maybe telling the story several times over was lessening the impact.
“Prick.”
Molly laughed. “Yeah.”
“I’m guessing this has to do with your reluctance to start another relationship.”
“I promised myself I’d never be controlled by a man again, that I was single and free, my own woman.”
“And Kirk’s making you rethink that.”
“Yeah.” Swivelling on the step, Molly looked at her. “Am I betraying myself by doing this?”
“By giving love another chance?”
“Oh. Oh no, this isn’t love. This is just getting to know each other, you know?” Love? Holy crap.
Ash smiled slightly.
“Really. Stop smiling or I’ll take your tea away and send you home.”
“Okay.” Ash took a sip of the hot liquid but her smile didn’t quite vanish. “Look, I know it’s scary going into a relationship after a bad time, I understand, I really do. But you have to decide if Kirk is worth taking a chance on, if you can trust him. Which, by the way, you know you can.”
“Geez, be blunt with your opinion.”
“Hey, you said it yourself. It’s you who’s scared. So you just have to decide if you’re going to let fear rule you or step out and take life by the nuts and see if it roars.”
“Cripes. Ash.”
“Sorry. I’ve been around Dee and Del too long.”
“You don’t say.”
They both laughed, sharing a moment of easy camaraderie before Molly sighed. “I wish I could be like you.”
“Me?” Ash shook her head. “You have no idea what my life was like before I came here.”
“You travelled a fair way by yourself, that takes courage.”
“I was running from my past,” Ash said bluntly. “I was raped.”
Molly spilled her tea, but before she could think what to say to that, Ash continued speaking. “I was raped by four bikies, and all my date could ask me was what I did to encourage them.”
“He what? That shithead!”
“I couldn’t settle and eventually I left. Wound up here. Scott and his friends helped me when I was stranded on the side of the road, and you can bet I was crapping myself when these four bikies pulled up. But turned out it was the best thing to happen to me. No,” Ash corrected herself, “Scott was the best thing that happened to me.”
“Ash. God, I’m so sorry.” Molly touched her arm. “I didn’t know.”
“Only Scott knows, and now you.”
“I won’t say a word.”
“Thanks. Anyway, it’s in the past. It happened, I acknowledge it, and I’ve moved on. My future is now, here with Scott.” Ash looked at Molly. “The thing is, can you leave the past in the past and look to the future?”
“That
’s heavy.”
“So why not concentrate on the now? Now’s a good thing, right?”
“I guess.”
“No pressure, a possible boyfriend who is cute and funny and kind, a nice little town, good friends. What better time and place to find yourself again than right here and now?”
“So you think I should give this a go?”
“Do I need to hit you over the head for it to sink in? Because if you have to ask that, I’m going to.”
“Touchy.”
“Molly, you fear control but it’s becoming your crutch to hide behind.”
“Wow, lay it on the line why don’t you.”
“Hey, brutal honesty is called for. I bet Kirk told you the same thing but only a whole hell of a lot gentler.”
“Maybe you should stop hanging around with Del and Dee. You’re starting to scare me.”
“Control has become this big scary thing in your mind, blown right out of proportion by two idiots who got their kicks abusing women. They liked to think they were authoritarians, portrayed themselves as dominant when all they were, were just two dicks who lacked backbone and made up for it by preying their sick fantasies on unsuspecting women.”
Molly stared at her. “Wow. Can I just say again, wow?”
Ash ignored her. The woman was definitely on a roll. “You want control of your life, Molly? You go out there and you take control. If you let what happened in your past control your future, then you’ve just basically never taken control back from those two pricks. They controlled you then and they’re controlling you now, only they aren’t lucky enough to realise that.”
“Holy crap.”
“I’m hoping that’s due to a revelation.”
“No, that’s due to being in total awe of your impressive prose, strong opinions, and the fact that you are absolutely bloody right.” Molly was stunned. “I’m still letting them control me.”
Ash nodded.
“I really am.”
Ash took a calm sip of tea.
“Holy crap.” Molly leaped to her feet.
“Where are you going?” Ash grinned from ear to ear.
“To grab my future by the nuts and kick those two jerks in their’s, though they’ll never know it.”
“You go, girl.”
Molly ran inside, determination coursing through her, and grabbed her bag, only to turn and run back outside. “Ash?”
“Yes?”
“Lock up when you leave.”
“I don’t have a key.”
“Take mine.”
“Then how will you get back in?”
“Ash?”
“Yeah?”
“Go home.”
Laughing, Ash drained the last of her drink and stood up. “Your wish is my command.”
“I owe you.” Molly hugged her. “I owe you big.”
“I won’t forget it.”
“Stop hanging around Dee and Del.”
It was all very well driving with a purpose, but as she drew near to Kirk’s house she felt a tinge of trepidation. So much could go wrong - no! No, she had to focus. Had to learn to trust in herself again.
Geez, it wasn’t as though she were handing him her life to control, right? She was still her own woman, her own boss. This is just, you know, dating and stuff. Just getting to know each other better.
Maybe he wasn’t home. Pulling into the driveway, she stared at the house while gripping the steering wheel tightly. Cripes, she was going to do this and now he might not be home.
Was he at work? Damn, she hadn’t thought of that. Mental head slap. But no, there was Henny and Penny pecking amongst some bushes. If they were roaming free, he was home.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the car door and got out. Holding her shoulder bag by the strap, she shut the door and started up the little path, climbing the steps before stopping to stare at the closed security screen.
Crap, could she do this? Her heart was pounding a mile a minute, her palms were getting sweaty. What if she started sweating so much circles appeared under her armpits on the dress? Gross.
Why was she being such an idiot?
“You can do this.” Taking a deep breath, she knocked timidly on the door. Okay, that wasn’t loud enough, the bloke would never hear her. She knocked louder. Crap, too loud, it almost rattled the frame.
Damn it, she was making an idiot of herself. Get a grip! God, her nerves were so rattled her hands were actually starting to shake.
Swallowing, she took a step back, wondering if she had to knock again, if -
The door swung open and Kirk stood there clad in cargo shorts and t-shirt, bare feet, serious face but with a small smile appearing on his lips. “Hi.”
“So…um, I’m here.” Molly wrung her hands. “I know you said to call you, but…”
“You’re always welcome here, kitten. My home is always open to you.”
“Yeah. Um…” She shifted from foot to foot. “So…um…” She cleared her throat. “Is this how blokes feel when they’re asking a woman out on a date?”
His eyes crinkled engagingly at the corners as his smile grew. “Are you asking me out on a date, Molly Travers?”
“I’m trying to.”
Stepping out, he took her in his arms and drew her against him.
Relieved, she leaned into him, resting her cheek on his chest and closing her eyes, just letting his calmness seep into her, soothing her rattled nerves. His big hand settled on her back, ran up and down gently.
She could have stayed like that forever.
“Kitten?”
“Yeah, Goldie?”
“Where are we going on our date?”
“Where do you want to go?”
“Bed.”
Her eyes popped open.
“But I’ll settle for a movie or dinner.”
“That’s very big of you.”
“It’s not the only big thing on me right now.”
She grinned. “You’re not going to turn into a lecherous beast, are you?”
“Possibly. I’m not making any promises on that.”
“Okay. But Goldie?”
“Yeah, kitten?”
“Not in public. I don’t do voyeurism.”
“No voyeurism. Gotcha.”
“Maybe this will work.”
She felt his lips brush the top of her head, his arms tighten around her just a fraction, drawing her even closer against him. “It’ll work. I’ll make it work.” He paused. “Was that too, you know, dominating?”
“Are you laughing at me?”
“Just checking.”
“No.” Closing her eyes again, she smiled. “That was just fine.”
“Good.” He cleared his throat. “Because I can’t help it.”
“Don’t wreck a sweet moment.”
“Gotcha.” Laughing softly, he turned so she was tucked into his side, his arm around her waist. “Let’s go in.” When she cast him a dubious glance, his lips twitched again. “I’m just cleaning Sparkles’s cage.”
“How romantic.”
“Hey, a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.”
“That’s what I’m worried about.” She entered the house ahead of him.
“You let me do the worrying, kitten. You find Sparkles.”
“Putting me to work already?”
“It’s called teamwork.” He shut the door and turned to face her.
“Is it just?”
“Yeah.” His eyes were warm. “We’ll make a great team.”
“So sure? We’ve just started.”
Framing her face between his big hands, he dropped his head to kiss her lightly on the lips.
God, without the fear knocking in the back of her head she could just enjoy his kiss, knowing she’d made the decision to do so.
Whoa, maybe she was the control freak. Now that was…freaky.
Lifting his head, he smiled down at her. “I’m not just sure we’ll make a great team, I know it.”
~*~
/> “Well, it’s about bloody time,” Dee said. “Kirk’s been panting after you for ages.”
“Look who’s talking.” Del cut her a look but her cousin ignored her.
Kneeling down beside a stack of magazines, Dee cut through the straps holding the bundle together. “So, how went the date last night?”
Molly placed the magazines Dee handed her onto the counter. “We had dinner at the pub, ‘cause it’s such a classy place for a first date, and everyone saw us together. So we’re now the talk of the town.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I know what small towns are like.”
“So you can’t be surprised, right?”
Del sucked on the lollipop she held. “Nothing wrong with the pub. It has a private dining room.”
“Which you can see from the bar,” Dee pointed out.
Molly grinned. “I got a dirty look from the Dawson brothers today.”
“Oohh, broke their hearts, did you?”
“More like broke their fantasised threesome with Molly being the meat in the sandwich,” Del mumbled around the lollipop.
Molly made a gagging motion.
“Just saying.”
“You say a lot.” Dee pushed to her feet. “Especially for someone who only dates a man once.”
“What can I say? None of them live up to my expectation.” Pulling the lollipop from her mouth, Del waved it in Dee’s direction. “And you don’t date anyone.”
“Maybe I’m waiting for someone worthwhile.”
“Maybe you should make the first move.”
Dee bent over the magazines, doing a quick count and checking it against the invoice. “On who?”
Molly held her breath, exchanged a glance with Del. Was this going to be the defining moment?
The door swung open and Ryder’s little brother, Max, walked in, making straight for the comic section while casting Dee a wary glance.
“Don’t bother even going over there, Max.” Dee didn’t look up. “Told you before, if your bother wants his kiddie comics he knows to come in himself.”
“He only wants-”
“Tell him to pull up his big boy panties and come in himself.”
“Panties?” Max frowned. “He doesn’t wear panties. He wears jocks.” He thought for a second. “I heard Yvonne say he sometimes goes commando. What’s commando?’
“Jesus.” Dee pointed to the door. “Out.”
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