Safe Word: Oasis 5: Mina's Heart

by Michele Zurlo

  She inhaled deeply, letting the crispness of the early fall weather fill her lungs, and then she let it out slowly, trying to exhale away the stress.

  Was he looking for a housewife? He never indicated what he wanted one way or the other. Knowing him, he would probably love it if she stayed at home to take care of his house and children. He’d come home every night to a hot meal, spend the evening talking or making love, and not worry about whether his laundry was clean.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She should have expected the question. Ever seemed to spend all his free time studying her, analyzing her actions and reactions. She frequently felt self-conscious, though she knew he didn’t intend to make her feel that way. It was just that when he focused on her with that laser-like intensity, she had the feeling he could see into her head and her heart.

  “Nothing’s wrong.”

  Convincing him of the truth of that statement would be nearly impossible. He was too perceptive.

  “Mina, my love, you’re getting tense, and you didn’t answer my question.”

  “I said I’d meet with your designer.”

  Given the way his apartment looked, Mina had been under the impression that Ever had good taste in decor and furnishings. Then he’d blown her assumption to shreds when he’d laughingly told her that his mother and older sister had handled all those details.

  “You didn’t say whether you’d want to live here.”

  She had begun taking for granted that he wanted her to live there with him. Otherwise, why ask her to approve the blueprints and work with a designer?

  “Is your hesitation related to your job search? Have you heard back from anybody?” He turned her to face him, and he held her captive with his penetrating green stare. His expression was gentle, inquisitive, and entirely too probing.

  After applying for over one hundred jobs, she had hit a wall. A week ago, she’d stopped sending out résumés. She shook her head, not wanting to talk about her failure. He’d only found out about her fruitless efforts at finding a job by accident. He’d shown up unexpectedly one afternoon when she’d been on the phone doing a long-distance interview with a company near Santa Monica that she really wanted to work for. They’d offered her a position, but not one that would enable her to stay in Vermont and work from home. She hadn’t accepted, because it would take her three thousand miles from Ever.

  She’d fibbed and told him that she was waiting for a callback about a second interview. She’d refused to tell him the name or location of the company, but he was smart enough to know it wasn’t local. He’d spent much of the evening frowning or lost in thought.

  The last thing she needed was to let him think about that topic again. Not only would it just upset him; it was none of his business. She loved him desperately, and that scared the crap out of her. Her father had been controlling, and although Ever wasn’t, she still had a hard time trusting him. She did not want to end up stuck like her mother had been.

  Rolling her eyes angrily, she broke his hold and headed toward his Jeep. She didn’t really want to answer either question.

  Ever followed, making his presence known as he reached around her for the door handle. He insisted on opening doors for her all the time. Her mother thought it was courteous.

  Instead of opening her door, he caged her against the car. “That was exceptionally rude. I don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

  “Then stop being so nosy. If I had news, I’d tell you.” She pushed as much disgust and condescension into her tone as would fit.

  “I’m not so sure about that. You’re touchy about certain subjects. You keep me locked out, Mina, and I don’t like the distance it puts between us.”

  Right then, she hit her limit for dealing with him. She tried to whirl, to face him head-on and make him back down, but he kept her locked in his cage, immobile. She braced her hands against his truck and pushed back as hard as she could. That move got her nowhere. “I’m not going to put up with this shit today.”

  “Mina.” He growled the warning. “That’s not fair. I asked you to move in with me. If that’s not what you want, then you just need to say so.”

  As if he wouldn’t push.

  Actually, he probably wouldn’t, and that realization deflated her ire. He wasn’t the same man who’d bought her two baskets of flowers even after she’d told him not to. He wasn’t the man who’d kissed her on the first date, turning her rules around so that he followed the letter of them instead of the spirit—and she’d loved it.

  She missed that man. She’d fallen in love with him, and then he’d disappeared.

  She elbowed him sharply in the ribs. From the way he exhaled, she knew she’d landed her blow in a prime spot. “I want to know what happened to you. I want to know why you’ve changed.”

  He stepped back, releasing her. She turned to find his gaze averted, his emerald eyes clouded with something that looked a lot like shame.

  “I haven’t changed.”

  Now that she had the upper hand, she wasn’t going to let it go. “You have. There’s at least one time every day when you look at me and you don’t say what you’re thinking. Sometimes when we talk or argue, you stop and weigh your words first. You used to just talk to me.”

  “Mina.” It was a plea.

  She’d never heard him sound so upset. Lifting her arms, she moved forward to comfort him, but he moved away. “Ever, don’t be upset. I just… You used to tie me up and blindfold me, and…I miss that. I miss…”

  She didn’t miss everything. Some of the high-handed ways he’d handled her had been too reminiscent of her father. That was another taboo topic.

  He stared at her, appraising her with a calculating look she hadn’t seen in far too long. A shiver of apprehension ran through her. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed the thrill of not knowing what he was going to do, but knowing that she would come out of it writhing with pleasures she’d never imagined.

  “You’re saying you want me to tie you up and blindfold you?” For once, he stood totally still.

  She nodded once. In the back of her mind, she congratulated herself for successfully changing the topic.

  “And that you want me to stop censoring my thoughts and actions?”

  “Yes.” Well, that might not have been the absolute truth, but she wasn’t going to qualify it right now. The timing was wrong.

  “Then I have to tell you, Mina, that I’d like to know why you refused to answer my question. Do you want to move in with me when the house is finished or not?”

  Her temper exploded, mostly because her tactic hadn’t worked. “Damn it! Why do you have to be so pushy? Why can’t you and your fucking one-track mind follow a simple conversation?”

  He stepped closer, caging her against the car once again. “As I recall, you asked me to stop censoring my thoughts and actions.”

  She snorted and pounded on his chest with her fists. “Move it, you fucking Neanderthal.”

  A shutter dropped over his expression, rendering it stony and hard to read. “There are consequences for this kind of disrespect.”

  She shivered at his implication, but she didn’t know whether it indicated nerves or anticipation. It had been so long since he’d behaved this way. He’d never spanked her. Part of her, the reckless part, wanted him to just do it. Perhaps it would break the power he had over her and she would be able to think clearly when he was around. Perhaps she could better evaluate the offer from the California company that wanted to send her a plane ticket.

  But other than those first few times, he hadn’t used that threat again. She had no idea what consequences he meant. Would he take her home and deny her the pleasure of his company? Would he break up with her?

  He waited several long seconds, and she knew he was gauging her reaction. She didn’t really have one. She wasn’t afraid he would hurt her physically, and if he wanted to be childish, then she wasn’t going to hang around for it.

  When enough time had passed, and
she didn’t know how he decided on that, he opened the door and helped her up into his vehicle. They made it to his apartment. He locked the door, threw the mail he’d grabbed on the way up onto his dining room table, and regarded her with his hands on his hips.

  “Strip.”

  Without bothering to see if she was going to comply, he snagged a dining room chair and dragged it into his bedroom. Curious, she followed him to see what he planned to do with it.

  He kicked aside his clothes from the night before and placed the chair near the foot of his bed. Turning, he lifted his eyebrows expectantly. “Remove your clothes.”

  Used to him being more romantic, or at least kissing her first, Mina shrugged out of her shirt and shorts. Her panties and bra followed, landing in the heap he’d created when he’d pushed his clothes out of the middle of the floor.

  He watched without revealing the level of interest he usually displayed. She could have been rearranging his throw pillows for all he cared. Once she finished, he spread his hand toward the chair. “Sit.”

  From the steamer trunk on the other side of the room, he extracted a length of rope. In less than five minutes, he had tied her to the chair, securing the normal places like her wrists and ankles, but also wrapping it around her waist and shoulders. The coating on the wooden chair grew sticky against her back, and she couldn’t lean forward to find a more comfortable position.

  Her legs, of course, were spread, exposing her pussy the way he liked.

  “No blindfold.”

  Since she had no idea what he planned, she had no idea if that was the consequence of rolling her eyes, calling him names, and elbowing him in the ribs. If so, she could live with that paltry punishment. While she liked being blindfolded, she was used to going without it.

  “What’s the safe word?” The tone he used sent a chill down her spine. She didn’t know if he meant to be imposing, but the fun, easygoing lover she’d come to know had vanished. For the first time in months, Ever made her uneasy.

  Not uneasy enough to forget the word he’d used before. “O-Oasis.”

  With that, he buried his face between her legs and worked his magic. Everything was forgotten as the tide of pleasure swept Mina away. He knew exactly how to touch her to drive her to the brink.

  “Oh, Ever, yes. You have an incredible tongue. I love what you do to me.” She moaned and murmured to him, knowing that he loved it when she vocalized her thoughts and feelings. She couldn’t share her failings with him, but she could let him know how good he made her feel.

  He mumbled something, but she only felt the hum against her pussy. It was all she needed.

  “Please let me come.” She didn’t know why she asked, but he used to insist on this.

  He lifted his face away and sat back on his heels. “No.”

  She thought he might resume his activities, but he made no move to do so. Instead, he held up something in his hand. It was a round red rubber ball with straps coming off either side.

  Pressing it to her mouth, he said, “Open up.”

  She wanted to ask him what he was up to, but the moment she opened her mouth, he forced the ball between her lips. Shocked, she opened the rest of the way. He wedged it between her teeth and secured the straps behind her head. Now she couldn’t say anything. Her protest was muffled.

  He reached for her hand and arranged her thumb and forefinger into the shape of an O. “Safe signal, since you’re gagged and all.”

  He grabbed his e-reader, opened it up, and flopped onto his bed, reading before he landed. Since he hadn’t immobilized her head, she had no trouble turning it to see him. For several moments, she watched him, wondering at his game. She was tied to a chair with a gag in her mouth. Her pussy throbbed with need, and he ignored her.

  This was not what she’d been asking for when she’d told him she missed being tied up. She tried to get his attention, but the gag pressed against her tongue. Any sounds originated in the back of her throat, so she screeched at him a few times. Nothing. He pretended he didn’t hear her.

  Her pussy cooled. She figured this was some kind of punishment, and she gave up trying to get his attention. Now she was pissed. Who the hell did he think he was, treating her this way?

  After a time, he put his e-reader on his dresser and knelt in front of her. She expected him to remove her gag, but he only held up the largest vibrator she’d ever seen. They’d played with several different vibrators. Ever liked to run them all over her body, tease her before slipping his choice inside her.

  This vibrator wasn’t one they’d used before. The head was large and round, easily the size of a softball. There was no way in hell that thing was going to fit inside her. She struggled against her bonds, trying to warn him not to get that thing near her.

  He took note of her panic. “There’s no need to be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  That didn’t exactly reassure her, but she calmed down enough to realize he knew it wouldn’t fit. He pressed the bulbous head into her soft tissues and flicked a switch on the handle. Strong vibrations rocked her core, awakening the abandoned climax.

  Her breath caught, and her moan remained partially lodged in her throat. When she was close, the vibrations morphed into a pulsing pattern that had a long rest between each burst. She threw her head back and whimpered with frustration. All this because she’d refused to answer his question?

  For the next half hour, she watched his digital clock, vacillating between wanting to grovel and wanting to beat the hell out of him. Time and again, he drove her so close to orgasm only to stop just before she could climax. By the time he removed her gag, tears streamed down her face. He untied her arms and legs and shifted her to the bed before leaving the room.

  He returned with a cool cloth, which he used to clean her juices from her pussy and thighs. Then he covered her with a soft sheet. She watched listlessly as he moved around the room, cleaning off the chair and clearing away the implements of torture he’d used on her.

  Though it was only early evening, she was too tired to get up. She wanted to get dressed and go home, to leave his apartment so she could lick her wounds and analyze the complex emotions tearing through her with gale force.

  He lay down on the bed, not touching but not letting her scoot away from him. “Well, Mina, what do you have to say for yourself?”

  She stared at him with more than a little incredulity. “I can’t believe you did that to me.”

  “Punishment is never fun. I much prefer to give you an orgasm than to deny you.”

  Sitting up, she pulled the blanket with her. “If you were upset about me rolling my eyes or calling you a Neanderthal or elbowing you, then you could have just said so.” She conveniently omitted any mention of the big question he’d posed.

  “I could have, but it wouldn’t have changed your behavior.”

  “Ever, this isn’t right. I don’t like this at all.” She was lying. She had liked it, and that scared her. For most of her life, she’d spent her time trying to blend into the shadows, trying to avoid any kind of attention from men.

  She was used to feeling certain things, not a whirlwind of confusion. That was what she didn’t like. She wasn’t sure she was supposed to let her boyfriend punish her for a disrespectful action. That was wrong. Wasn’t it?

  “I just wish you would have talked to me about it. Maybe asked why I did it or something.”

  He sat up and cocked his head to the side. “Why did you do it?”

  “Because I…I…” She sputtered and stalled. Revealing her fears and failings wasn’t something she wanted to do. “You keep asking about things I don’t want to talk about.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

  That was a perfectly good question. “Because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. You seem to open up to me very easily. You tell me everything that’s on your mind, and I know you expect me to do the same. I can’t do that.”

  “Not yet.” He regarded her somberly, and she had no idea w
hat kinds of thoughts were going through his head. “Sometimes the truth hurts, but in the long run, it’s always the better course of action.”

  His eyes held such sadness that she slipped her arms around him. He pulled her close, holding her with his whole body.

  She basked in his embrace for a little while. As he relaxed against her, she looked up at him. “Ever? Punishing me isn’t going to change my behavior. You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do.”

  “No?” From the tone of his question, she didn’t think he’d changed his stance on the issue.

  “No.”

  “We’ll see.” Before she could argue, he pressed his finger to her lips. “Let’s make dinner, honey. I’m hungry, and so are you. I won’t press you to talk to me about things you don’t want to talk about, but next time, just tell me it’s too much, too soon. Okay?”

  She didn’t want to admit she was hiding anything, so agreeing to his proposal was out of the question. “We need to talk about how domineering you are.”

  Ever nodded. “I know, but now is not the time. You’re upset. I’m not too happy with myself. We’re both stubborn, and neither one of us is in the mood to be all that reasonable.”

  In the end, it seemed he got his way. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

  * * * *

  The next morning, Mina drove Ever and Wild to the airport. He could tell she was a little relieved to get rid of him. After last night’s punishment fiasco, he needed some time to put his head on straight again. He knew he’d messed up. He knew he shouldn’t have punished her. It was long past time they had an honest talk. In retrospect, he could see the wisdom of his father’s advice. The stubborn part of him held the view that things would work out just fine. They’d both been upset last night, and that definitely wasn’t the time to have the kind of discussion they needed to have.

  Time apart would do them both some good, though part of Everett wondered if leaving before they had a chance to clear the air was the better course of action. He and Mina needed to have a tough conversation.