Rosemary's Ghosts (Tess Schafer-Medium)

by Deborah J. Hughes

  "I know. We always hurt for our kids." Although I didn't have any children of my own, I considered my animals to be sort of like my children. Certainly they were loved like family. A child, though, a person's own flesh and blood, had to generate even stronger feelings than a beloved pet. As strongly as I felt for Alex and Dennis (and Tootsie when I had her), I couldn't imagine how hard it must be to lose a child. Or in Rosemary's case a grandchild.

  "It was my fault."

  "What?"

  Although Rosemary's face was buried in my shoulder, I understood her muffled words well enough. "It was my fault."

  "Why would you say that, Rosemary?"

  Distraught though she was, Rosemary pulled away and walked toward her chair but she didn't sit, instead she paced in agitation around it. "When we found out she was pregnant, she was so frightened. And she was upset not to know who the father was."

  "She must have had some idea."

  "Yes. It was one of two boys." Rosemary's face scrunched into a sneer. "They wanted nothing to do with her once they got what they wanted." She wrung her hands together as unwanted memories crowded into her thoughts. "Grace was so upset. So sad. I only wanted to protect her."

  "What did you do?" I remembered now that I'd heard a baby crying and began to suspect what happened.

  "I brought her here. I thought it was best to get her away from everyone. I meant well, I did."

  "What happened?"

  "She slipped on a loose board out on the porch and fell." Rosemary closed her eyes for a moment and drew in a deep breath. After a brief pause, she continued on. "Grace went into labor and I wanted to go to shore and get a doctor but she wouldn't let me." Pressing her hands to her eyes, Rosemary dropped onto her chair. "I couldn't leave her and I didn't dare put her on a boat. She was in so much pain. I thought ... I thought I could deliver the baby and then go get help." She raised tortured eyes to me, catching and holding my gaze. "But it was too soon for her to be born and I knew something else was wrong. There was so much blood. I think the fall did something. That poor little baby ... our precious Angel died within minutes of her birth."

  Rosemary choked back a sob and pressed a hand to her chest. "Oh my, oh my dear ... it was ... it was awful. I didn't know what to do and Grace was screaming." Rosemary put her hands to her ears. "I had to help Grace but she was so upset. She didn't want me touching her."

  "Did you go get help?"

  "I tried. But I had to take Angel away first. Grace was so upset. I couldn't just leave her there with the baby."

  I knelt at Rosemary's feet and reached for the hand plucking at the buttons of her sweater. "I'm so sorry, Rosemary. That must have been incredibly hard to go through."

  Rosemary dropped her head and choked out a couple more sobs before regaining control. "It was all my fault. I shouldn't have brought her here."

  Grace had probably shouted those words to her in her own anguish and that now was all Rosemary could hear. I squeezed her hand gently. "You couldn't have known what was going to happen. It was an accident. Accidents are beyond anyone's control. You did what you could. But what happened to Grace ... her falling ... that wasn't your fault and little Angel dying wasn't your fault either." My next words were not going to comfort her and she probably wouldn't want to hear them but I had to say it. "It's hard for us to understand why tragedy like that happens but for whatever reason, that was all meant to be. It was meant to be because that is what happened and you can't prevent what is meant to be."

  "There's no good reason for a baby to die, Tess."

  "No." I couldn't argue against that. Understanding tragedy was something we would probably never get a grasp on. "So after you took Angel away, did you go get help for Grace?"

  Rosemary closed her eyes and tilted her head back to draw in a breath. "I was going to but Grace called me back inside." Rosemary opened her eyes and glanced at me briefly before gazing off into space, back into her memories. "We didn't tell anyone about Grace's pregnancy because she was worried the baby would be taken away from us. I don't know why she thought that but she did. That's when I decided to bring her here. I told the few people we knew that Grace had gone to live with a close friend of ours in Georgia. No one questioned it. No one cared enough to question it."

  Rosemary squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed them with her fingers. "Grace was worried that if I went to get help, we'd be accused of killing..."

  "It's okay, Rosemary. I know what you mean."

  "Neither of us trusted anyone." She sighed deeply and dropped her hands, opening her eyes to meet mine. She'd gone this far and I knew she trusted me enough to continue. "So I helped Grace as best I could. And that night, while she slept, I buried..." She stopped and gulped in a breath. "Oh my dear, I need tea."

  I jumped up. "Let me get it." In the past couple days Rosemary lost several mugs but the cabinet held plenty more. Good thing. I pulled out a couple of them and dropped in a tea bag. We both liked our tea sweet and I figured correctly that the tin on the counter next to the sink contained the sugar. It was something of a surprise to find it filled to the brim. Rosemary must have refilled it when I wasn't looking though I couldn't recall when she had an opportunity to do that. Did spirits fill sugar bowls? How sweet of them. After spooning some into our mugs, I headed for the refrigerator for the milk, finding a full carton. That gave me another moment of pause. Considering all the tea we'd been drinking, it just seemed a bit odd. Much as I wanted to ponder it, Rosemary was waiting and since the tea seemed to comfort her, I didn't want to waste any more time. I splashed some milk into our mugs then headed with them into the living room. The tea kettle was located on the wood stove and once both mugs were filled with hot water, I handed one to Rosemary. She dunked her tea bag a few times then took an appreciative sip, sighing gratefully as she did so. It filled me with gladness to have done her that small service and I heaved out my own contented sigh as I settled onto the sofa. We enjoyed our tea in companionable silence for a few moments and then I gently prodded Rosemary to continue her story.

  "So Grace got better and you kept the baby a secret?"

  At first I thought she wasn't going to answer but then she turned her head and looked at me. "Yes."

  There was a challenge in her eyes and I figured she was waiting for me to condemn what happened. "Where did you bury her?"

  Rosemary continued her stare and when I met her gaze, conveying my acceptance of her story without condemnation, she finally began to relax, her shoulders dropping as she let out a resigned sigh. "I'll show you."

  We went out back to the slight rise behind the cabin. Rosemary went to the highest point where a grassy knoll was located and the remains of a three-sided rock wall covering a space of about three feet wide by four feet long. Growing in the center of it was a rose bush. Most of the roses were dead and gone but one or two bulbs hung on with grim determination, their petals holding enough color to let me know they were red.

  "I put her here." A small ceramic angel lay as if sleeping on the ground a few feet in front of the rose bush. The long dead grass and fallen leaves nearly obscuring it from view. Rosemary dropped to her knees and pulled some of it away. She obviously did not come up here much. Considering her reluctance to face what happened, it was no surprise.

  I reached for Rosemary's hand and squeezed it gently. "She is indeed an angel now, Rosemary, and she truly is in a good place."

  Rosemary gave a sad nod. "Yes. But I would rather she was here."

  A white butterfly appeared out of nowhere and fluttered around us. Rosemary pointed to it in wonder. "They should all be gone by now."

  "It's Angel come to say hello." I whispered the words quietly but Rosemary heard them anyway.

  "What?"

  "When something unexpected happens, something out of the ordinary that shouldn't happen, such as butterflies in late fall ... then it is a mystical thing. Angel is letting you know she is well and thriving in the spirit world."

  Rosemary's eyes widened in awe then narrowed w
ith growing doubt. "Are you sure?"

  "Yes."

  The conviction on my face and in the tone of my voice must have convinced her for she suddenly smiled and held out her hand. The butterfly fluttered around her head before landing on one of her fingers. It opened and closed its wings several times and then after another long pause, it fluttered away, going this way and that until it was out of sight. Smiling, Rosemary turned to look at me. "I'm not sure I believe that or not but it's a nice thought."

  A sudden cool breeze blew over us causing me to shiver in response. Rosemary had on a sweater, I did not. She nodded her head toward the cabin and waved a hand for me to precede her. "Let's get back inside and figure out what we are going to have for lunch."

  Lunch. I glanced at my watch and was surprised to find it just after two in the afternoon. Considering we hadn't eaten since breakfast, I was surprised my stomach hadn't started growling sooner.

  When we entered the cabin, Rosemary nodded toward the wood stove. "Why don't you refill the stove, stoke up that fire, while I whip us up some sandwiches."

  It wasn't long before the smell of bacon was permeating the air and once I was satisfied the wood stove was going strong, I headed for the kitchen to find Rosemary piecing together bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches. She smiled when I joined her at the butcher block, settling myself onto the step-stool to watch.

  "The lettuce is from the garden. Grace brought the tomatoes a few days ago. They are a little mushy but still pretty decent."

  I accepted my sandwich gratefully. "I haven't had one of these in a while. Thank you, Rosemary."

  Once we finished our lunch, Rosemary made us another cup of tea before heading for her chair and her crocheting. I went to one of her bookshelves and randomly reached for a book. Jane Ayer. How fitting. Although I read it in high school, I thought it might be fun to leaf through it now while dealing with my own strange situation.

  We passed a couple hours in peaceful silence and I was grateful the spirits were calm. Considering it was Halloween, I thought things might kick up a notch. The thought no sooner passed through my head when I had a sudden urge to go outside. As soon as I went out the door, I knew why the urge had hit me with such urgency.

  Mike was on the wharf again. This time he was facing my direction and obviously waiting for me to join him. Though my heart pounded a little harder and my pulse jumped like crazy, I felt more emotionally stable to deal with this than I had last night.

  "Mike, why are you here?"

  "Why are you here?"

  His voice sounded so clear and familiar that it brought a fresh wave of tears to my eyes. Though my heart now belonged to Kade, it didn't mean my feelings for Mike were gone. I would always love him. That would never go away. But it didn't in any way interfere with my feelings for Kade. In fact, I think it made them stronger. Having gone through love and loss, I was more appreciative to have it again. "What do you mean, why am I here? Are you asking me why am I on this island?"

  "Tell me what's going on, Tess."

  "I don't understand what you mean, Mike." And then, because it was really starting to bother me, I had to ask, "Why aren't you moving on to other things? Why do you keep coming back?"

  He looked a little sad at that and shrugged his shoulders, giving me that lopsided grin of his that I used to love so much. Still did, only it didn't quite have the same effect on me anymore. "I come when I'm needed."

  "You think I need you?" That worried me just a bit. Did he know something I didn't? Of course he did. But what? Did it have anything to do with Rosemary's ghosts?

  "How do you feel, Tess?"

  "I feel fine." Worry started flooding through me though because something was up. Was I in danger? "If you know something, Mike, I wish you'd tell me."

  "You know it doesn't work that way, Tess."

  "At least tell me why you are here."

  Heaving a sigh, much like he used to do when I didn't see an argument his way no matter how many times he tried to explain it, Mike gave a small shrug. "I just told you. I thought you might need me." He took a step forward, his blue eyes intent on mine. "If you need me, Tess, I'll come. Always."

  "Mike, I'm with someone else now."

  "Yes." He didn't so much as blink and his voice remained in that matter-of-fact tone of his that I called his lawyer tone.

  "I'm happy here now. A year ago ... heck, six months ago if you'd asked me if I needed you I'd have said yes but I'm good now, Mike. Really."

  "Then why are you here?"

  What in the heck did he mean by that? It was useless to ask for I knew he said all he was going to say. Sometimes those in the spirit world could be so frustrating. "I guess I'm here because I want to be." I watched him closely as I answered, hoping to see if his expression gave anything away. But Mike was an attorney. He was good at hiding his feelings, at looking blank. Like now.

  "Okay, Tess." He gave me a small smile then lifted his gaze toward the cabin.

  I turned to look as well. Rosemary was standing in the doorway beckoning me to join her. When I turned back, Mike he was gone.

  For a moment I stood there reflecting on our conversation. Something was up. It wasn't right him showing up like this. And Tootsie too. So what did it mean?

  As I started across Rosemary's overgrown lawn, a wave of nausea hit me and I stopped to gulp in some air and fight it off. Mike asked me how I felt and now I was sick. Warning alarms were once again clanging in my brain, this time with near panic. Oh God, was something going to happen to me?

  "Tess? Are you okay?" Rosemary rushed down the steps and took my arm. "What's the matter, you are as white as a ghost."

  Those words didn't make me feel any better. "I feel a little sick. If you could just help me inside, I need to sit down for a bit." My legs were shaky and weak but with Rosemary's help, I managed to make it up the steps and into the cabin. Once inside, though, I had to lean against the door to rest for a second and catch my breath. Something was definitely wrong.

  "Come on, dear, just a bit more." Rosemary tugged gently on my arm and I allowed her to help me across the room to the sofa. "I'll get you a glass of water."

  Why couldn't Mike tell me what was going to happen? His showing up and being all cryptic wasn't fair. Either tell me something useful or stay the heck away. That's what I'd tell him if I saw him again.

  Rosemary touched my shoulder and I opened my eyes. She looked so worried that I smiled, hoping it would ease some of her concern. "It's already passing." I drank some water, loving its wet coolness on my parched throat.

  "It looked like you were talking to someone." Rosemary sat in her rocking chair and looked at me expectantly. "Were you talking to a ghost?"

  "Actually I was. My husband Mike."

  Rosemary's eyes widened with surprise. "Really? He's haunting you?"

  I laughed at that and was grateful for it. Laughter was indeed the best medicine. I felt better already. "No. But he's showed up a couple times now and I'm not sure why."

  "How did he die?"

  "He died two years ago in an auto accident. A drunk driver crashed into his car." Funny how I could say that now without a hitch in my voice. Seeing Mike like that, looking alive and well, it made his death seem so, well, so not dead. I took comfort in that. And then I thought about Rosemary's situation. If my husband was appearing to me, could it be Rosemary's husband that was bothering her? "Have you seen any of the ghosts that have been bothering you, Rosemary? Do you get any feelings at all on who it might be?"

  Rosemary gave it some thought. "Well, I told you that I thought about my mother a time or two but I always thought it was just wishful thinking on my part."

  "You've never felt it might be your husband?"

  Rosemary drew back as if I'd slapped her. "No!" She reached down and picked up the doily then grabbed a ball of black thread. "The star is done. I'll do the black now and hopefully it will be finished before Grace gets here tomorrow and takes you home."

  If Kade didn't show up first.
Knowing him, he'd be home bright and early in the morning. There was no doubt in my mind that he was worried sick about me. I know I'd be feeling that way if the situation was reversed. Once he saw my car gone, he would start looking. Could he see my car at the boat landing from our road? I couldn't remember if it was visible or not but I was pretty sure he couldn't.

  Why oh why hadn't I told him I was going kayaking? Speaking of which, where in the world did that thing go? Someone should have found it by now. Wouldn't they wonder if something happened to its owner? Especially considering my car is parked at the public boat landing and has been for two days? Surely someone would have noticed and wondered about it?

  "You don't think my husband is haunting me do you? I know my father was bothering me but the idea of both of them..." she trailed off as her face scrunched into a deep scowl.

  Rosemary's question pulled me from my thoughts. I saw the worry in her eyes and in the tenseness of her face but couldn't bring myself to lie in order to make her feel better. "They were violent with you, Rosemary, and these spirits haunting you, they've been breaking things."

  She nodded. "Yes." She chewed on her lip for a moment and then said quietly, "I think once or twice it has been them. But not all the time."

  "No, I think you have others who are here to keep you safe from them."

  Rosemary's eyes widened with hope. "Like my mother?"

  "Yes. After all, we did talk to her during our table tipping session." I thought about Mike telling me he would come if I needed him. Rosemary's mother must feel the same, especially considering their history and what Rosemary has been through.

  "You really think I managed to send my father away?" Rosemary's eyes clouded in sudden worry. "I don't want my mother here protecting me from him. I don't want her anywhere near him. Ever."

  The vehemence in Rosemary's voice was quite telling. She was as fiercely protective of her mother as her mother was of her daughter. "We'll light that bonfire tonight, Rosemary, and send them away once and for all. Your father and husband will never bother you again."