Project: Adapt - Develop: A Space Fantasy Alien Romance (Book 3)

by Jade Waltz

  Would it matter?

  My relationship with Zirene, however, was destined, sealed by the Fates and Stars themselves to bind us together as Nova and Shadow. I’d grown to love him over the years, and while I accepted his apologies for all of my grievances against him, something in my heart still prevented me from returning those three words to him.

  Checking my mental shields, I made sure none of my nestmates could pick up my inner musings. They were secured, a thin veil covering each of their connections and allowing me privacy while giving my mates the comfort of knowing that I was alright.

  I didn't know how to act around my Circuli princes.

  I didn’t regret offering them the chance to save their people by sealing a bond with me. I considered them friends and had trusted them enough to allow them to scry me when we were still on the Destiny. They were appreciative of the opportunity I provided and thankful for a nestqueen who freed them from the pressures of leadership.

  They make me feel awkward with their feelings of indebtedness. As if I need more reasons to worry that our bond will never be as strong. The princes had grown up together as nestbrothers since they were in the hatchery, so close that sometimes they acted like one unit instead of two individuals.

  How can I ever compare to that bond?

  I knew they wanted me, driven by a biological drive to give a nestqueen their bonding spores and to bind themselves to a female. I didn’t expect them to love me, but our purely biological connection still made me feel as if I would never be adequate.

  Would I get a chance to get to know them individually and fall in love?

  Only time would tell, and quite frankly, I was content to wait. I couldn’t compare my connections with Xylo and Odelm to the connections with the Circuli princes, or even with Zirene for that matter, because each one had developed individually.

  In the future, if all I formed with my Circuli princes was a deep friendship, I would accept it. I wasn’t willing to push the princes to allow me into their tight-knit relationship. I will consider it a bonus if any more profound relationship formed in the wake of our friendship. After growing up with no companions, I welcomed any genuine friendships I could gather, no matter the unusual circumstances.

  My relationships with Xylo and Odelm and the one blossoming with Zirene into something . . .deeper was more than enough for me.

  I didn’t know why I would need anyone else.

  What was I missing in my life? Or who?

  No matter how much I have tried, I cannot forget how Kaede acts when he is around me.

  The way his eyes always follow me whenever he thought I wasn’t looking—or thought I was, and he just didn’t care. I would pass off his behavior as part of his job as my security detail, if not for those rare moments when he lowered his walls. He seemed to build up walls to block out everyone, showing only glimpses of vulnerability to me. Every time I’d tried to get him to open up, he just pushed me farther away.

  Was I such unpleasant company? Or was he angry at me because he’d been assigned to follow my every move instead of enjoying the same freedom his sisters were allowed?

  His loyalty was aligned with my Shadow, not me, thus forming a friendship with him was difficult. I was his assignment, and even though I trusted him to protect me, he would counteract my wishes if the situation—or Zirene—demanded it.

  Our fragile friendship complicated his work, so I understood why he kept as much distance as possible.

  Closing my eyes, I exhaled slowly and tried to soothe all my frustrations about the confusing male.

  “So there you are.”

  Smiling, I instantly knew who had snuck up on me. My soul recognized his deep voice I loved so much and the golden thread that connected me to his teal mental shield.

  “I wasn’t hiding.” I stretched and rolled over onto my stomach to face him. “It’s almost bedtime. Where is everyone?”

  I already knew the answer before I spoke the question. My bond threads told me my mates were just outside in our private backyard, but I didn’t know what they were doing. I wondered why they hadn’t joined me in our nestbed to try to get some rest for tomorrow.

  “Relaxing while granting our nestqueen the alone time she needs.” Xylo gave me a gentle smile as his eyes trailed my body before latching onto mine. “Are you well?”

  Sometimes I wondered if he was part-Ulax, considering how well he read my emotions. He was almost as attuned as Odelm, and he always instantly knew when something was wrong.

  “As well as I can be,” I shrugged, flipping my hair over my shoulder. “I’m not looking forward to standing in front of thousands tomorrow.”

  “No, but you have done this once already. This time, you are prepared.” He strolled over, stopping in front of the nestbed as he offered me both of his hands. “Come with me. Allow your mates to ease your worries.”

  “Does this have to do with the reason you’ve all gathered in the backyard?” I raised an eyebrow, accepting his hands as I sat up. “Should I be worried?”

  "Never," Xylo whispered, pulling me to my feet. He stared, mesmerized, as a vine combed my hair back, pushing the strands behind my shoulders. "You have nothing to fear."

  I leaned forward, lifting my veil over my nestmate's connection and giving him a gentle kiss. "Then tell me what my males have prepared for me."

  A shiver passed through his body as he sucked in a quick breath, shaking his head, and stepped away. "I can't spoil the surprise," he teased, his eyes searching mine. "Why not follow me and find out?"

  “Maybe I will,” I whispered, biting my lip as I side-eyed the nestbed. “Just when I was getting comfortable, too.”

  “It will be worth it, I promise,” he replied, tugging my hands to lead me through our master bedroom’s side door. “Let us put you at ease.”

  I was all for being put at ease, and my males knew it.

  Whether helping me raise the cubs or working out plans for Destima’s future, they had stayed by my side every step of the way. We followed different daytime routines—Xylo researching with his team, the Circuli princes working alongside Vagren to build new apartment-style community homes for the crew, and Zirene ran off to virtual conferences and other various princely duties. Only Odelm spent most of his day by my side while I supervised Pavryn with the cubs and checked up on the island’s progress. By mid-afternoon, we performed our daily check-ups before lunch, and then I was done working for the day. While the cubs napped, I would lie in the sanctuary and listen to Odelm play his music until my clan came home for dinner.

  During moments like this, the particular interval between when the cubs fell asleep and when we settled down for bed, I enjoyed our private time to relax. I snuck in intimate moments with one of my mates or just existed with my clan as a whole as we unwound from the day’s events.

  Smiling, I watched Xylo glow along with the moon’s nightlife and the solar globes lining our backyard and lighting our pathway. The small spheres held little orbs that illuminated a variety of colors, matching the brightness of Xylo’s bioluminescent patterns.

  I paused and reached for the nearest elegant night lamp, feeling the smooth glass underneath my fingertips. Surprisingly, it didn’t burn, though warmth radiated from its surface.

  “They come from the same cave as the gem of your necklace, on the nearest neighboring island,” Xylo explained. His voice rang with the excitement of a scholar, instantly pulling my smile into a wide grin. “The Aldawi discovered that they absorb the day’s sunlight, only to burn off the energy at night, causing them to glow,” he paused as he grabbed my necklace with a vine, pulling the ornament nearer to the night lamp. “What is particularly fascinating is how your gem seems to be reacting to it.”

  He was right. The galaxy-like swirl inside my necklace’s gem seemed to be moving faster; its core’s light pulsing brighter than I had ever seen before.

  “Why do you think that’s the case?” I asked, pulling my hand away from the night lamp and closing my palm around th
e gem. “Perhaps because they come from the same cave? Are they composed of the same type of rock?”

  “I will have to ask Vagren if a geologist on the island is available to meet with us,” he murmured, his vine releasing the necklace as he met my gaze. “That is, if you would like to.”

  Raising the gem between us, I twirled it around by its chain, realizing its colors matched Xylo’s glowing space-like patterns.

  “Why would you think that I wouldn’t?” I asked, dropping the necklace as I met his gaze. “I know how much you enjoy this subject.”

  He gave me a shy smile and looked away, combing back his glass-like hair nervously. “I do, but I didn’t think you would be interested in such things.”

  “What?” I asked, confused by his sudden demeanor.

  What had happened to my confident scholar?

  “I overheard Kaica advising my crew about how to attract a nestqueen,” he sighed, vines slumped. “Honestly, I was waiting for an opportunity to ask you out on a . . . an . . . an outing.”

  “You want to ask me out on a date?”

  His teal eyes met mine, widening in shock. “Yes! I mean, only if you want. I mean—”

  Grabbing his face, I leaned forward and smashed his lips to mine, pouring all my love through our bond to my nervous male. Xylo was the first being I met after escaping my masters. His acts of kindness drew me to him, accidentally triggering our court bond through a single kiss. His devotion and loyalty attracted me to him. Though I still got lost in the beauty of his body’s pattern, it was the unexplainable magnetic pull I felt to his character that made our relationship more than simply nestqueen and nestmate.

  I loved the male for all that he was, and every day he tried to show me how much I meant to him.

  Pulling away, I dropped my hands from his face to grab his hands, giving them a slight squeeze. His teal eyes fluttered open lazily, stunned by my sudden kiss.

  “Yes, Xylo,” I giggled, unable to resist the tickling sensation from the buzzing Euvrel wings in my stomach. “I would love to go on a date with you, on one condition!”

  “Anything,” he muttered, his eyes sharp with determination. “What do I need to do?”

  “Surprise me.”

  “But that goes against one of your most important rules,” he mumbled, shaking his head in confusion. “I would never keep secrets from you.”

  “Xylo.” I raised an eyebrow. “Feel our connection. What do you sense?” I paused for a moment as his eyes unfocused, a sign he was probing our bond. “You should sense nothing but happiness—”

  “And stress.” His gaze snapped to mine. “I’m sorry, Selena. I just want to make sure you have the same experiences as the other demi-humans. They flirt and touch and . . .” He sighed, eyes softening. His vines pulled me close as my hands released his, finding his starry, velvet-like chest. “I have always read about how your species enjoys companionship, whether from a friend or lover, and how your process of courtship puts the Circuli’s own to shame. I just don’t want to deny you anything that you deserve.”

  His confession stunned me into silence; only the sounds of nocturnal wildlife surrounded us.

  Haven’t I shown him how much I appreciate him?

  “I don’t understand your logic.” I licked my lips nervously as I tried to summon the right words without accidentally upsetting him. “I may be demi-human, but I wasn’t raised like others of my species. Beyond what I’ve read, I don’t have any connection to my heritage or life on Earth. I am just as blind as you when it comes to what is ‘normal.’ You were the one who first discovered me, and has been by my side since, so you understand how incredible my journey has been. What I’ve been through following my escape isn’t normal. I went from a science experiment to a pregnant refugee to a nestqueen of two incredible males.” I paused to let those words sit in. “In the end, I discovered that I’m fated to a powerful prince in one of the galaxy’s strongest territories, who gifted me an ishing moon.”

  I glanced at my mark on his neck, admiring its fluorescent glow in the night. I tightened my grip upon his chest, digging my nails into the soft moss of his skin and relishing the cool squish around my fingers.

  “Other than my lack of extra appendages, I consider myself more of a Circuli than a demi-human. I am like you, Xylo—lost without direction or purpose. I was thrust into this position, and now I’m doing the best that I can to adapt. Am I happy? Yes. Do I wish things were different? Yes, but only because I want more time to settle down and get to know my clan better.

  “But no matter how much I want the world around me to slow down, it seems like the Stars have a different plan for me. Tomorrow, I’m supposed to introduce myself to my citizens. There will be over one hundred thousand sets of eyes staring at me, judging me while I share my plans for Destima. I’m scared, Xylo. What if I mess up? Or they don’t like—”

  “Selena,” he breathed. “If you believe, you can do anything. Your clan will be beside you the whole way. If you run ahead, we will follow right behind to catch you if you fall. I saw what you built in the dreamdome and how easily your wishes become a reality. Don’t let a fear of failure stunt your dreams.”

  His vines gripped my face as he pulled me against him and pressed his lips to mine.

  I was so surprised by his outburst that I gasped, and his tongue took advantage. Xylo kissed me feverishly as if trying to drive his point home. His feather-soft lips pressed hard against mine as his tongue explored my mouth like he owned it.

  He wasn’t an Ulax; he couldn’t send his emotions to me as Odelm could. However, he could dive deep beyond my mental shields and search for any fear, thought, or memory he wished. Would he? Never without my consent, because he respected me and my autonomy.

  I was his nestqueen, his love, his savior from a lonely life.

  Leaning into him, I kissed him back and sent all of my love through our bond. I dropped all my inner shields and allowed him to see everything. Though we lived as two separate beings, at this moment, we were one.

  He moaned as a burst of his herbal flavor assaulted my tongue while it danced with his.

  I didn’t need to have sex with this male to melt within his arms. I surrendered myself to him and allowed him to worship me as a nestmate did his nestqueen.

  Xylo was mine as much as I was his.

  Suddenly, he stopped and jerked his head away, looking over his shoulder toward the pool, where golden strands led to my other mates.

  “I’m assuming your nestbrothers are wondering where we are?” I teased, trying to ground myself after the unexpectedly raw turn of our conversation.

  “You’re correct,” he sighed, releasing his grip on me to coil his vines behind him. “I have delayed you enough as it is.”

  I placed my hand on his cheek and directed his face towards mine. “Thank you for this, Xylo.” Leaning forward, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, stunning him. I smiled. Something so simple, after the passionate moment we just shared, could make him react so strongly.

  “I will look forward to whatever you plan for us,” I murmured, holding his gaze. “Just promise me not to overwork yourself to try to impress me.'' Smirking, I shot him a wink. “You don’t need to worry about finding a nestqueen like your crew because you already have me.”

  His glowing teal eyes held mine. “I won’t worry about our outing if you don’t stress about tomorrow.”

  Chapter Three

  Selena

  Holding hands, we rounded the corner, where my golden threads showed my nestmates had gathered. Surrounding the pool, they all sat with their eyes locked on mine.

  “I was starting to think you weren’t going to show up, and we wasted all of our time here,” Zirene chuckled as he lay spread out on one of the outdoor couches. The table before him held a variety of snacks and glasses of Xowyn, the silver-colored fruity alcoholic drink my nestmates loved so much.

  “It’s not Xylo’s fault,” I grinned, squeezing my escort closer. “I became sidetracked by the nigh
t lamps and wanted to inspect them.”

  “We discovered that her necklace’s orb reacts to the night lamps, making it swirl faster and give off a brighter glow,” Xylo added confidently, in his usual scholarly tone. “I offered to schedule a meeting with a geologist at the gem cave to see if they had any answers.”

  Zirene pursed his lips in thought, his tail flicking idly. “Those night lamps are powered by the crystals that form around each spherical gem. Most of those gems power the robots we use to construct the structures of this moon and the starships of my new fleet.” He glanced at my necklace. “The ones that aren’t compatible with the builders are stored away to be used for something else.”

  Gripping my necklace, I felt the warmth that radiated from within. “But why give me something so valuable, when so few in the galaxy know about the gem’s power and rarity?” I flicked my eyes to Odelm. “You remember how the old Caurg female was attracted to my necklace and thought that I’d made you spend your life savings on it?”

  Odelm’s pale-green eyes narrowed as his face contorted into a scowl. “How could I forget that old shopkeeper? I made sure she paid the price for her rudeness with her wallet when I purchased those elegant pieces that you wanted.”

  “News about our discovery has already reached the space station?” Zirene asked, stunned. He immediately sat up, his focus jumping to each clan member, willing one to answer. “What exactly did she say?”

  “She stated that she’d heard rumors about a new gemstone, and she was surprised that I would have possession of one,” I replied, wondering why he seemed so interested in such a minor event.

  “That’s not all. The merchant told her if she owned such an invaluable necklace, she should never take it off, because it brings its owner good luck.”

  “This is alarming,” he growled, his tail whipping aggressively. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

  “No one mentioned it to you because I took care of the problem.” Odelm dismissed him, pushing off the pool’s edge and sinking underneath its surface.