At least that’s what I thought back then. Now I knew better.
“Nobody wants to look dumb, especially not in front of others,” I shrugged. She nodded, accepting that as a legitimate response.
“So what happened?”
“Adam happened. He started coming around and hanging around. He would ask me for help with his homework and she would tag along. She was very protective of Adam.” Silly as it was, it was true. Not that Adam needed protecting – he was big enough and wide enough, strong enough.
“Why didn’t he ask her for help? She’s just as smart as you are. You said so yourself.”
“I asked him the same question.”
“And?”
“It was an excuse.” I smiled at the memory. He didn’t even try to hide it. He came right out and admitted that he was looking for an excuse to talk to me and his lackluster grades were the best he could come up with. It was either that, or asking me to help him train on the ice, but he didn’t take me for the sporty kind. Though, he did eventually take me out there. After practice, when the place was empty. He held my waist while he danced me around the cold surface like something out of a Disney movie, his breath against my neck the only warmth I felt.
“So you started dating?”
I shook my head, snapped out of the memory.
“No, not that year.”
“Why not?”
I gave Ms. Lidwell a once over. She was the average height for a woman. Her skin was smooth, her complexion similar to that of milk chocolate. Her braids were coiled up in a fancy bun on top of her head and her red lipstick matched her nails perfectly. She had one of those figures that made even the most modest clothing look flirty, with lots of curves in all of the right places. Even her standard black pumps seemed more feminine because she was wearing them.
How could I explain to her how it felt to be me and to be chased by Adam Randt? He looked like he just slithered out of a teen drama. The kind where all the boys had British accents because EVERYTHING is sexier in British. His broad shoulders and dirty blonde hair that curled and kicked up in whichever direction it wanted made him look like a rockstar. I was happy to breathe the same air as guys like him. I had no hope and no confidence that anything would ever really come from it.
“I thought he was playing me. I figured he was pretending to be into me so I would help him study or cheat or something.”
“And it turns out he wasn’t as shallow as you thought.”
I shook my head.
“Nope. He really meant it. He was into me. It took him all year to convince me that he wasn’t going to dump me as soon as some girl threw herself at him, but we officially started dating sophomore year.”
“Wow, that’s pretty impressive. He’s pretty impressive. Most high school boys would have given up after a few weeks.”
“I know, right. But he’s not like most boys. He’s serious. He knows what he wants and he just goes for it.”
“Sounds like you two were really serious about each other. So what happened?”
I frowned, recalling the night of the accident. I hadn’t wanted to go with him. If I had known that it would be the end of us, I would have ignored his calls all night and dealt with his pouting in the morning.
If I had known what would happen, I would never have gotten in the car.
If I really knew who my real friends were, I would never have agreed to Eva’s request.
If I hadn’t been so stupid and gullible, none of this would have happened.
“I had a car accident and Eva ended up in a wheelchair,” I said, my voice flat. “They said it was drunk driving, but couldn’t prove that I was drinking that night, so there’s no conviction.” Lidwell knows this part of the story, she didn’t need me to come out and say it, but I did anyway. Maybe out of courtesy. Maybe to see her reaction.
“Were you?”
I looked at her, confused.
“Were you drinking?” she asked again.
“Would you believe me if I told you that I don’t drink. I never drink. Not that night and not now.”
“I would believe you,” she said. So easily. So simply.
I smiled at her and burst into tears. Finally, somebody believed me. Too bad it was the wrong person.
Chapter 9
Before the accident
Damon and I cling to each other the way that lungs cling to air. I help him with some… things and he helps me keep my mind off my aggressive, abusive father and my dying grandmother. Okay, so the whole thing is a bit of a sham. And honestly, there have been a few times when all my lies came close to blowing up in my face. Lying, as it turns out, is a full time job. Especially when you have a family like mine.
My mother is the type of woman who always knows how to find her way into my father’s arms when he comes home from work. And with Damon within their line of sight, mother rushing to kiss father’s cheeks and ask him how his day went isn’t exactly supportive of my claims that they’re having marital problems. Of course, all of that would be fine if she sported a black eye every once in a while. Or maybe if she had stuck to caking makeup on her face the way she did when I was younger. That isn’t the case now, and usually Damon and I catch her right after a yoga session, her face bare, smooth, perfectly unbattered.
And then there is Adam. Oh, dear, sweet, Adam. So wrapped up in that stupid Anna girl that I can’t even talk to him about the crap that’s been going on in my life. A part of me blames him for allowing things with me and Damon to get this out of control. If he were home instead of skipping off to god-knows-where with Anna, then I wouldn’t have had to start this whole charade in the first place. Hell, I wouldn’t have even started dating Damon, come to think of it. But I’m not going to get into that.
The point is, the more time Damon spends hanging out at my place, and the more I keep him around until way past bedtime, the more he and Adam will eventually get into a conversation. It isn’t unlikely that it will eventually come to Damon asking Adam how Granny’s doing. Of course, Adam isn’t keyed into my lie and will have no qualms about telling Damon that Granny is fine, sprier than a spring chicken, in fact. I can’t have that. One of these days, I’ll mention the lie to Adam in passing. He won’t like it, but he’ll cover for me, without a doubt. That’ll be one of the last things that will need smoothing out.
I decided that I’d played with fire for long enough and whenever my parents or Adam are to be home, Damon and I either spend time at his place or keep ourselves out of their presence. I’m trained and tried in keeping up appearances and so spinning a few more lies into the web has made things go without a hitch. Like the fact that my car needed to be taken to the garage and my father is trying to spite me by not having it looked at. Gosh, that bit was a disaster. Damon insisted on looking at the car himself which meant I had to pretend not to have access to my own damn garage. That kind of controlling didn’t sit well with Damon and earned my father more than just the one stink eye from him. Though, of course, he was never – and never will be - brave enough to go toe to toe with my father. Thank the lord for that!
All in all, though, things are getting better. Now that I’m ‘relying’ on Damon to pick me up in the mornings and drive me home from school, he has no time to be messing around with the likes of Angelique the whore. Or so I thought. But I would only find out later tonight just how deceitful the bastard can be, despite the chokehold I’ve had on him. For now, though, I nestle myself into Damon’s strong, broad chest and breathe in the prize of my lies.
Earlier in school, I’d heard talks about a party. There’ll be drinking and maybe a small batch of the ‘good white stuff’ as one of the delinquents in drama class so eloquently put it. I would never be caught dead or alive at one of those parties. But I can’t really blame half of the school population for going. This is as good as most of their lives are ever going to get and so they don’t need to worry about their reputation following them to college.
Damon, though, I can keep him away, so long as
he thinks sex is a thing that is potentially on the table. That’s just the way guys work. As long as they think they’re going to get some, they’ll hang around. Even though we still have all our clothes on, we’re in my bed, beneath the sheets, which I know puts all sorts of ideas in his head. Maybe I’ll allow him to touch me a little more than he did yesterday. But sex…going all the way…not just yet. Not until I need to.
Spinning to face me, he pushes my hair away from my face and places a delicate kiss at the base of my chin. We’re only in my bedroom because I pretended that the weight of my grandmother’s illness is really taking its toll on me. Damon’s here to be supportive, to… I don’t know, make sure that I’m okay and that I stay that way. I keep my sad face intact enough for him to want to kiss all my woes away. He’s good at that. He doesn’t quite fill the void, Adam ripped in my soul, but he makes it at least a little smaller.
“I have to get going,” he says. It’s only a few minutes after nine o’clock. Damon doesn’t have the kind of rules that normal teenagers at home. So long as my parents aren’t home, he can stay as long as he wants.
“No you don’t,” I tell him.
“I promised my mom to take care of some things in the house and...since I took you home after school, I didn’t really get to it.”
“It’s the weekend.”
“Which is exactly while she’ll need the dishwasher up and running. She doesn’t have work tomorrow and the weekend is the only chance she gets to go on her crazy cleaning sprees.”
I grit my teeth, and sit up in the bed. Is this the part where I offer to just get them a brand fucking new dishwasher? Maybe not. Maybe that would be insulting.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I flick my gaze to him. “And she can’t hire someone to take care of the dishwasher?”
“I told her I’d take a look at it, Eva. She won’t be home for another half an hour and I at least want to make it look like I made an effort, you know?” He says that last bit with a smile, like he thinks he’s being funny.
“Whatever,” I say. “Get the dishwasher fixed and come back.”
He nods and I pretend like him rushing home to fix the dishwasher isn’t the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.
When he leans in to kiss me, I turn away. “When you get back. Who knows, maybe you’ll even find me with a lot less clothes than I’m wearing now.”
Damon smiles at that, cheesier than I’ve ever seen him. “I’ll hold you to your word,” he said.
I shrug. Maybe he’ll find me naked. Most likely he’ll find me asleep.
I listen as the front door closes behind Damon. And drop my head back on the pillow. Not even five minutes later I hear the front door again. I slink out of the room, to check if he’s changed his mind, but instead, I see Adam standing at the foot of the steps, his phone pressed to his ear. Ugh, the disappointment. Even when Anna's not around she’s still around, eating up all his attention like a greedy little cow.
“Come on, Anna,” Adam says. “It’ll be fun. And if you’re having the worst time of your life, I promise I’ll take you right back home.”
I roll my eyes. What the fuck does Adam think he’s doing going to that party?
“Hanging with the delinquents tonight, are you?”
“All your friends will be there too, Eva. If you wanna come, you can ride with me and Anna.”
“Doesn’t quite sound like Anna’s interested in going, but you go ahead and keep beating the dead horse.”
Adam chuckles and pulls to the phone away from his ear to mouth the words ‘she will’ to me. It shows just how out of touch we’ve been as of recent if he really thinks I give a damn.
“She will, but I won’t,” I tell him.
“You like parties just as much as the next gal.”
“When I’m the one who throws them, yes.”
Adam shrugs and puts the phone back to his ear, before telling Anna that he’ll be there in no more than a half an hour.
“Well, if you change your mind…” he says, turning back to me.
“I won’t,” I assure him.
Chapter 10
NOW
“There you are.”
I shoved my skates into my locker and took in the silhouette of somebody who I vaguely recognized. It took a moment for me to put a name to Angelique Monroe who was now standing in front of me, her hands on her hips and her lips all pouty.
“You were looking for me?” I asked, more than just a little confused because now that my brain had made the spin around her, it became abundantly clear that she was the girl who swooped Damon right up after he left my sister.
Angelique swept her hair over her shoulders and let out a chirpy chuckle. “Of course, silly. Mrs. Berg says you’re the guy to talk to about Homecoming posters.”
“Oh, yeah,” I said. To be honest, I completely forgot I volunteered to do that. It was one-hundred percent Eva’s idea. She was trying hard to get me to enjoy “the senior experience” for the both of us. Although volunteering for various committees and attending school dances weren’t my idea of a good time, I couldn’t deny her the opportunity to live through me vicariously. Hockey already had my schedule jam packed, and adding all this shit to it just made it too ridiculous for me to remember.
“Great!” Angelique plopped down on the bench next to me. It wasn’t particularly warm in here, but the scent of sweat lingered in the air, making it just that much more difficult to breathe.
“Outside,” I suggested and shrugged, lobbing my backpack over my shoulder. Angelique didn’t miss a beat as she took two steps for every step I took, until we were outside. The last days of summer were behind us and the cool wind made sitting outside unappealing to almost everybody, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“Do you have any ideas?” she asked.
“Nope. I figure some fancy lettering in the school colors should take care of it,” I said.
“Aww,” she pouted dramatically, drawing special attention to her fuchsia colored lips. “I know you can be more creative than that.”
“Maybe.” I squinted at her as the wind blew her hair around her face like a mousy brown halo. It looked like a washed-out version of Anna’s dark chestnut hair. I wished I could stop making comparisons like that. It made getting over her feel next to fucking impossible.
“There’s no maybe about it,” Angelique said and leaned in closer to rest her fingertips on the back of my hand. “I’ve heard all the stories. You’re very creative, both on the ice and off of it. I just want you to do your best with this. And if there’s anything I can do to help, or encourage you, just let me know.”
Our eyes met for a moment and her fingers lingered on my skin before she sat up straight.
“I’ll think of something,” I said. She gave me a smile and then got up and walked away.
Two minutes after she disappeared inside the school, the bell rang for the next period. I gathered my stuff and slipped into the warmth and noise of the busy hallways. Why coach turned PE into full on training, I will never understand. My muscles were sore and my bones ached just as much as my soul.
Sometimes, I flirted with the idea of throwing hockey to the wind. It’s not that I hated the sport. In fact, it was all I lived, all I breathed, for a very long time. But without Anna, everything just felt…useless?
I sucked in a deep breath and put myself on autopilot as I made my way to class, not really seeing anything or anybody. I didn’t snap out of it until Jarius jumped on my back and wrapped an arm around my neck.
“Hey, what did Angelique want?”
“Who?”
“Angelique! The girl you were talking to on the quad. What did she want, other than your cock?” He took a playful swipe at my crotch as we moved through the hall.
“It’s nothing and definitely not the kind of filth you’re insinuating. Just some Homecoming shit.”
Jarius shook his head, feigning disappointment.
“Only you could have a girl that fine throwing herself
at you and be completely clueless. She likes you dude. She was obviously flirting with you. Did she really need to go out in the cold and listen to your lame ass ideas? NO! She was just looking for an excuse to hang out with you.”
If I was the type, I would have rolled my eyes. Instead, I settled on a shrug.
“Hardly.”
“Man, you’re so fucking blind. She’s been asking about you for like a month now. The only reason she volunteered for the Homecoming committee was to have some kind of reason to talk to you. Nobody bothered to tell her that your ass barely even shows up for class anymore.” Jarius shook his head at me and clapped me on the shoulder.
“Who told you that?”
“What do you mean who told me? Everybody can see it, dude. You’re the only one who apparently has gone blind. A little piece of advice, my friend. Stop moping around, thinking about that crazy ex-girlfriend of yours and snatch that girl up. It doesn’t have to be true love or anything like that. Girls like Angelique have a very special way of helping a man forget what bothers him. She’s ready and willing! And you could definitely do with someone willing to pluck your mood out of the damn gutter.”
He made a lewd gesture with his fingers and tongue and then melted back into the throng of students heading to class. I had learned not to take Jarius too seriously. The guy had a one-track mind and he assumed that everybody else thought the way he did as well.
But, it didn’t mean he was completely wrong. Angelique, come to think of it, had been making herself available a lot lately. She showed up wherever I was, but we never exchange more than a hello. And it always took me a minute or two to figure out who she was. Not my fault. She had a very forgettable face.
Was I really missing something? Was she really trying to flirt with me? Should I really get it the fuck together and do whatever it takes to get Anna out of my system?
Filthy Pride: Dark Bully Romance Page 6