Filthy Pride: Dark Bully Romance

by Savannah Rose

  “She may not walk again.”

  Mom looked like I’d slapped her. Her face reddened and her back shot up straight. “Her doctor said there’s been some degeneration,” mom finally said. “That shouldn’t have happened.”

  Every word felt like a tackle to my gut.

  “Degeneration? Like permanent?”

  “Unless something changes soon, maybe, yeah,” she whispered then clasped her hands together tightly and clenched her jaw. She looked like she’d been trying to physically hold the words inside and was on the verge of losing the battle.

  “So, how do we reverse it?”

  “She’s been taking her pills, right?”

  I thought about the makeup bag full of pills and that’s when it struck me. These weren’t pills Eva was collecting from a street dealer. These were the pills she was meant to be taking to get better, to heal faster, to be okay again.

  “Yeah, like clockwork,” I said to my mother, looking her dead in the eyes.

  I felt like an asshole for lying, but ratting Eva out wouldn’t exactly do anybody any good. Mom would be furious and worry more. She’d turn home-school into a prison for Eva, watching her every move and checking under her tongue every time she took her meds. Besides, what was done was done, and getting Eva into trouble for it now wouldn’t reverse time. Not being able to stand was punishment enough.

  “Then I just don’t know what else to do,” mom said, her eyes full of fear. I reached out and hugged her too.

  Maybe she didn’t know what to do, but I felt like I was getting an idea. I just had to decide whether or not I was going to believe the evidence or the word of a woman who said she loved me?

  Chapter 22

  NOW

  Officer Sanders came by today to deliver the news personally. The investigation was being officially concluded. The verdict was that there was no evidence of criminal liability. He apologized for not being able to do more. My dad said he did his best and my mom thanked him for coming by. It was all over.

  Of course it was.

  Damon made sure of that.

  There’s not a lot I’m thankful for when it comes to him. But I’m honestly quite grateful to him for his quick wits and sticky fingers.

  Rough. Tough. Criminal. Not exactly the words anyone would have thought might attract me to someone. But men like Damon, sometimes they do come in handy.

  Plus, it’s the guys you shouldn’t have that you want the most, isn’t it? When teenagers fuck, they want to brag about it. And no one brags about allowing a nerd to go balls deep in them. There also aren’t many grown ass women who want to marry a guy who misses the g-spot every single time. So yeah, guys like Damon, they excel. But that’s not the point. And certainly not what my concern is with him.

  Damon’s sticky fingers meant that my plan was spinning right into motion. If he didn’t make evidence conveniently disappear the police would have asked a lot of questions I didn’t have any easy answers for. And make no mistake about it; police love easy answers. They love simple, logical, open and shut cases. The unfortunate reality is that most cases are far from simple or straight forward. Humans are complicated beings and our motivations are strange.

  Like, why would a happy, smart, pretty, young woman endanger her whole future by getting drunk and high and then getting behind the wheel of a car? Such a mystery.

  I looked down at the box full of pills, blue ones and white ones all piled up in a red velvet-lined box. To me, they looked like treasures. Each one was a little triumph, a tiny bit of my life that I took back.

  Everything looked so hectic from the outside, but I had never felt more in control. I had my brother back, and despite not being in class, I was soaring academically. Spending my senior year in a wheelchair was going to make for great essays and admissions officers loved a good triumph over adversity story - they eat that shit up like a fresh batch of grandmama’s blueberry pie.

  I replaced the little compartments holding an assortment of rings and earrings. They settled comfortably over my treasures. The fit was so snug and seamless that it was easy to forget that there was any space under them.

  No sooner had I reassembled my treasure box than my mother knocked softly on my door.

  “Honey, are you okay?”

  “Yeah mom, come on in.” I placed the box on my dresser and greeted her with a smile. She walked in and sat on the edge of my bed. She looked like she was struggling to put on a brave face.

  “Are you sure you’re okay...with everything. You know you can talk to me if you need to,” she said. Such a good mother. Calm. Concerned. Patient. Understanding. Not all of us are lucky enough to have one of those.

  “I’m fine,” I told her. “I didn’t really want Anna to get into trouble anyway, mom. Really.”

  “I know, but it’s just…” She pinched her lips together, making her already angular face seem a little more pointy. “This was completely preventable, and somebody should pay for it. She should pay for it.”

  “Sounds like you’re the one who is not okay.”

  “Maybe,” she sighed. “But as long as you can live with her not being in custody, I will learn to live with it too. I think this might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe what this family needs is some closure.”

  I nodded and we hugged. The culmination of a perfect mother-daughter moment. I could see the relief in her face and I knew I had played my part perfectly.

  Here is the other thing that people don’t generally know; the appearance of impropriety is more damaging than impropriety itself. In other words, what people think you did is more powerful than the truth. That was the reason I’d been so careful not to let anything slip between the cracks. I was always cautious. Even as a little girl I always wanted to make sure I was clean and cute and smart and funny. I worked hard at it.

  I was loved for it.

  Unfortunately, nobody told Anna that. Or maybe they did, and she didn’t listen, because why would she? She was always so high and mighty. She never concerned herself with the things that we silly mortals considered important. She worked at her own pace and marched to her own drum. Her moves were haphazard at best. That was the only reason why a girl like that showed up on my radar at all. As a freshman, I needed to establish myself quickly and it was hard to do when I kept coming in second to messy, unorganized, unorthodox Anna. Losing to a girl like that was more painful than the loss itself. And yet, I’d lost my brother to her. Well, for a while I did. Things were looking better now. Adam was no longer under her thumb and she was no longer a threat. By all means, I had to make sure things stayed that way.

  I got online and began to chat with Mya and Taylor, two of the friends I’d managed to keep. I felt a little guilty about keeping them around. I didn’t like them especially, but they could get around in a way I couldn’t even before the accident. Nobody was watching them. Nobody expected much from them. They were pretty, well connected, and constantly in need of tutoring.

  To put it simply, they were useful idiots. They jumped to conclusions, they loved to gossip and they never tested the theories they tried to propagate. They were entertaining, but most importantly, they were well connected.

  A single post from one of them could set the Forum on fire for days. And so when I mentioned that the investigation into my accident was officially closed and no charges would be filed due to a chronic lack of evidence, well….

  A few hours later even those who’d forgotten about the accident were relitigating it all over again. Everybody who’d forgotten the story began to remember. I rolled my eyes as I watched the replies roll in. It didn’t take long for it to turn nasty.

  Ah, Anna. You should have smiled more and maybe tried just a little harder to be liked by people. You shouldn’t have spent so much time looking down and yet making others feel stupid and small. That sounded like a contradiction, but it was simply the truth. Remember, people are complicated creatures. People like people who appear to need people.

  Anna kept her head down, but not b
ecause she was insecure. In fact, it might have been the exact opposite. She didn’t care about anybody else. She focused all of her energy on the things she wanted. And, she usually got them. I didn’t understand that about her when we first met. That was my mistake. That’s why I let my guard down and allowed her to get so close to Adam.

  That’s how I nearly lost him.

  But that was all over now. I was using her superpower against her. I made sure to write a reply to the damning post stating that I never wanted anybody to get into trouble. I emphasized the fact that I couldn’t remember most of the events of that night and so I had no reason to point fingers at anybody.

  “I’m just glad that this part of the nightmare is over. We can all get some closure and move on. I am going to focus on healing, and I hope everybody else will focus on healing as well.”

  The best part of the lack of evidence was a lack of facts. In the vacuum left by substantial evidence, a whole crop of conspiracy theories had sprung up. Every detail that the drunken, teenaged minds could recall about that night became another bead in a string of ridiculous theories and conjectures about who did what and why. But what everybody seemed to agree on were two things. The first, Anna drove the car that night. And the second, Anna had always been my rival, and as the two front runners for the All-State Young Achievers Award, she had the most to gain from my unfortunate accident.

  I signed off before the comments could turn x-rated. Unfortunately, no matter what your tax bracket or IQ,, teenage boys are still a hormonal menace who will turn the focus of any conversation to their dicks. I wish I’d known that before I fell for Damon. I wish I’d known that the key to his heart was in his scrotum. Maybe I wouldn’t have wasted my time. Or maybe I would have given in and slept with him.

  There was no point in thinking about it now. It was all in the past. And dwelling there, especially when it came to him, wouldn’t do me any good.

  I pulled out a book that was on the list of recommended reading for American History. I never really appreciated history until this year. The lessons of leaders and generals of the past were relevant even today. I guess I had to thank Anna for that as well. If she had never appeared in my life, I would never have given any of these things a second thought. I was learning a lot of important life lessons and now I was returning the favor.

  Anna was going to learn never to drop her guard, especially around people who she felt held no threat.

  Chapter 23

  NOW

  Being exonerated from a crime should have felt wonderful. I should have been walking on air, singing with the birds, dancing in the wind.

  I wasn’t.

  In fact, I was right back in the eye of a storm I thought I’d escaped. I was back to being the school’s number one suspect for every unexplained disappearance, missing notebook, and science lab failure.

  If anybody had been talking to me before, I might be experiencing a sense of isolation. Luckily, most of my so-called friends abandoned ship the first time rumors that I’d tried to murder Eva began circulating.

  I couldn’t really blame them.

  Who would choose a nerdy loner over Donnerville’s sweetheart? Beauty, brains, and now a tragic story of adversity; how was I ever supposed to combat that shit? Simply put, there was no way I could.

  I decided to just keep my head down. Fighting back would only make me seem more guilty in the eyes of most people here, and there was no way to look righteous while battling a girl in a wheelchair. Especially if there was a chance that you put her there.

  But that was the thing. I didn’t put her there. She put herself there. And though nobody wanted to believe me, I suspected that she might have been keeping herself there to avoid having to return to school and look Damon and Angelique in the eyes after what they did. I knew that sounded crazy. Who would pretend to be crippled just to avoid going to school? But, I learned that night that Eva was capable of all types of things. As long as it protected her image and got her what she wanted, there was nothing she wasn’t willing to do. And heavens knows, her image was protected. There were no rumors going around about Damon cheating, just the fact that he broke up with Eva when she was fighting for her life. That was a better story to tell and one everyone was happy to chew up and spit out for as long as it turned heads.

  I was eating lunch, alone again, when a shadow approached from behind. I gripped my plastic spork in my hand, hoping that the flimsy plastic would at least cause a little pain if I jammed it into an attacker’s cheek hard enough. I really wasn’t a fighter, but I wasn’t going to let people think they could get away with bullying me either. Worst case scenario? I’d be expelled and forced to graduate from a summer school program. At this late stage in the game, I didn’t even care. I’d already been accepted into college.

  When the other person got close enough to be within striking distance I spun round to face them. They were going to pay for thinking that my headphones meant I wasn’t aware of my surroundings.

  As soon as I turned my hand froze in the air.

  “Damon!”

  He smiled and sat down next to me. I didn’t look up, but I could tell that more than a few people noticed. Somebody was already filming, and it would be all over the Forum by the end of lunch.

  Attempted murderer and douchebag ex-boyfriend of crippled Donnerville princess eat lunch at the same table. Gasp! The horror!

  “I was worried about you. Are you okay? Who threw mud at you?”

  I paused for a second. He looked genuinely worried. I was touched.

  I smiled a little and patted his hand gently. “I’m fine. I ran into somebody from my past who is bad news. We got into it a little, but I think I got him worse than he got me,” I explained. “No big deal. Sorry for making you come all the way out and then bailing on you at the last minute.”

  Damon shrugged. “It’s cool.”

  “No, it’s not. Your time is valuable. Wasting it is pretty shitty,” I said.

  He looked at me for a while and then narrowed his eyes.

  “What?!?”

  “You’re nothing like I thought you were,” he said.

  “What did you think I was like?”

  “I dunno. Bland, smart, selfish...I mean you were dating Adam, so I figured you had shitty taste in men.” He took a huge bite out of his meatball sandwich and chewed vigorously.

  I chuckled.

  “How can you eat that shit? It tastes like it’s made out of shredded cardboard and oatmeal,” I said.

  “It does, but...a guy’s gotta eat.”

  He smiled at me again. This time I caught myself looking at the way the corner of his eye crinkled slightly. Even I had to admit it was charming.

  “You’re about to be a very lonely boy. Don’t you know sitting next to me in public is social suicide?”

  He shrugged again.

  “Or maybe being seen talking to me will grant you a cool air of mystery and intrigue.” Damon winked at me and I realized that he really just didn’t care what people were going to think or say. It wasn’t just a tough guy act. That made the misery of school just a little less overwhelming.

  I leaned over to him and looked around as if I was afraid we’d be caught.

  “Oh yeah? How cool are we talking here? Grease the musical cool or British spy agency-level cool.”

  “Ice cold. We may need code names and everything. “

  “Okay, as long as you call me Harper.”

  He shook his head and raised a brow at me.“Really? Harper?”

  “Yeah,” I nodded. “My name kinda sucks. Anna. Who names their kid Anna? It would make sense if I was named after a relative or something. But, nope. My parents probably couldn’t think of anything interesting to call me. Or they couldn’t agree on a decent name, so I got stuck with Anna. But I think I’m much more of a Harper, don’t you?”

  He pulled out his phone and tapped on the screen for a minute before answering.

  “It means harp player. I don’t know if you’re a harp player,
but that lady who wrote that book-”

  “To Kill A Mocking Bird.”

  “Yeah, that one. She’s named Harper too, and she doesn’t play any instruments. I guess it suits you though. It’s not really a girly name, but it’s still kinda pretty on the right kind of girl.”

  “And I’m the right kind of girl?”

  “Yeah, pretty, but not in a normal way. Girly, but not in a girly way. Plus, it can be both a first and last name so you could be a one-named celebrity like Rihanna.”

  I blinked quickly, my ego was bruised, and I wasn’t sure why. I’d never really thought of myself as pretty. I was smart and capable. But to hear somebody as objectively attractive as Damon say that I wasn’t pretty or girly in a “normal” way was a little upsetting.

  “I’m not sure if that was a compliment or not.”

  “It wasn’t an insult.”

  He gulped down a carton of milk in three swallows and crumpled it up before tossing it across the cafeteria into an open trash can.

  “Listen,” he said, and his face became serious. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and I think there are a lot of things we should talk about. Can you meet me after school?”

  “If this is about your essays-”

  “No! This is about our exes. Yours and mine.”

  I rolled my eyes. The last thing I wanted to think about was Adam rolling around with a very sexy, very naked, very “pretty in a normal way” Angelique.

  “Hear me out. I’ve been watching the Forum and I think there are things about what happened that night that you should know. I think it’s time that you get your life back and get the chance to enjoy some part of your senior year.”

  “I don’t want to talk about all of that. I’m over it, Damon. Really, I am.”

  “No you’re not, you just gave up,” he growled.

  I opened my mouth to say something but closed it as I realized he was right. I never even tried to defend myself. I just let everything happen. When the rumors began circulating, I never even bothered to tell my side of the story. I just let people believe whatever they wanted and endured it.