A Matter of Choice

by Laura Landon

The interior was breathtaking. With her hands clasped at her breast, she stepped to the center of the room and turned a full circle. Never had she seen anything so beautiful in her life. No wonder Joshua loved it here.

  The room was mammoth in scope, as large as their whole townhouse in London or larger. A gigantic marble fireplace took up a small portion of the wall to the right and on the left a huge winding staircase led to the landing on the second floor. A balustrade of ornately carved oak decorated the balcony that surrounded the entire room.

  She tipped her head back on her shoulders and looked up. A domed ceiling stretched three floors above them, its circle of beveled glass allowing brilliant rays of sunshine to rain down on the room below.

  From the center of the dome on a large gold chain, hung a crystal chandelier. During the day, the sun reflected from the glass and created shimmering prisms of light that dotted the burgundy walls on the upper floors.

  “Oh, Joshua,” she whispered, coming full circle until her gaze met his. “It’s beautiful.”

  She smiled at the look of satisfaction on his face then concentrated again on every detail of the room. There were at least a dozen double-wide doors around the perimeter. They were closed now, but at a nod from Joshua, two footmen hurried to open each one.

  She watched in rapt attention as the footmen unveiled each room, then she walked with her hand on his arm as he led her past each one.

  “You can investigate the rooms at your leisure.” He stopped at each doorway only long enough to give her a peek inside. “There’s far too much to take in at once.”

  “Oh,” she said again and again as they stepped from room to room. It was the only word she could utter to describe how she felt.

  He laughed, then put his arm around her shoulder and brought her close. “I knew you’d like it.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “Now.” He turned her around. “Your staff is waiting to meet its new mistress.”

  One by one he introduced her to the long line of servants waiting to greet her: Converse, the butler, Ferdie, the downstairs maid, Quilla the upstairs maid, and so on, and so on, and so on, until she’d greeted each one personally.

  “Mrs. Dewey?” he asked before they all filed back to their posts. “You wouldn’t have some blueberry muffins and those cakes I’m so fond of, would you?”

  A plump little woman with rosy cheeks beamed brightly. “Of course, my lord. I told them in the kitchen we’d best have a fresh batch of each on hand when I heard you was comin’. I’ll send some right out with a pot o’ tea.”

  The cook toddled off in a hurry with the others on her heels. Joshua turned to the butler. “Converse, see to the baggage. Have it put in the east wing. In my old suite. And Quilla,” he said to the upstairs maid. “This is your mistress’s maid, Emma.”

  Emma stepped forward and bobbed a polite curtsy.

  “See that she’s settled.”

  “Right away, my lord.”

  Emma followed the upstairs maid up the stairs, her mouth still gaping as her gaze tried to take in everything.

  He held out his arm and when she placed her hand in his, Joshua escorted Allison across the wide foyer to an open door to the right of the fireplace. “This is the morning room.” He stepped back to let her enter first.

  Her breath caught when she looked around the room. “It’s beautiful.”

  She walked over to the windows and looked out. The view of the garden from here was picturesque. To the right of the windows were two double doors which led out onto a small patio. She opened them and stepped out.

  “Oh, Joshua,” she whispered. She stopped beneath a trellised roof crowded with climbing roses in full bloom and looked up. “This is lovely.”

  He came to stand beside her. “Mother always loved this room best in the morning because of the bright sunshine. But I prefer it better at this time of the day. When the sun is low and the shadows are long. Would you like to have tea out here on the veranda?”

  She nodded, then walked to a round table near the railing. He pulled her chair for her and she sat.

  When Ferdie brought the tea, she poured, and together they ate the muffins and cakes Joshua was so fond of. She thought she’d never been happier, thought she’d stepped into a dream. Prayed she would never wake.

  She knew now that she’d have to guard her heart more closely than ever. She could see already how easy it would be to lose herself to him. How easy it would be to allow him to become the most important person in her life. How easy it would be for her life to revolve around him. That was something she was not ready to do. Something all three of her sisters had done and paid for every time their husbands left their bed for another woman’s.

  She tried not to think that the same could happen to her. For now she had him all to herself. It was not until they returned to London that she would have to worry. Then…

  He placed his hand atop hers and pulled her away from her fears.

  “Tomorrow or the day after you will choose one room on the main floor and make it your own. It doesn’t matter which one, but you will completely redo it.”

  She looked at him in surprise. “You can’t be serious.”

  “But I am. You have just stepped into a house that my mother’s family occupied for eight generations. Each of them left their mark on it. They lived and loved here, raised their families here. It was a home to each of them. It will be a home to us too. But it will be a home of our making. And you will have one room that will say to all who enter that this is our home.”

  “You truly love it here, don’t you?”

  “Yes. My father took great delight in telling me I would never have any part of Ashland Park or any of the other Ashbury holdings. But I knew he could never take Graystone Manor away from me.”

  “Why would he say such a thing?” She was unable to believe any father could be so cruel.

  “Perhaps because I was the second son. Perhaps because I was not subservient like Philip, or because Father and I clashed like oil and water. Perhaps because I was not born with his blond hair and blue eyes. Who knows? Whatever the reason, my father barely tolerated me. Graystone Manor became my refuge. The only place I could truly call my own.”

  “No wonder it is so important to you.”

  “You have no idea how much. I would have done anything to save it.”

  “Even marry someone you did not want?”

  His gaze shot over to lock with hers. “Even that. But I was lucky enough to find you and didn’t have to make such a choice.”

  He rubbed the pad of his thumb against the top of her hand then lifted her fingers to his lips. “Walk with me in the garden while there is still light.” He helped her to her feet. “It has been a long time since I’ve been here and I want to walk down the stone paths and see the ducks and swans swim in the ponds and the flowers in full bloom. I want to watch the red glow of the setting sun when it shines against your hair. And hold you in my arms as the sun slides beneath the horizon. And kiss you until the moon is bright enough to reflect in your eyes.”

  She laughed, trying to hide her blush. “I hardly think that is possible.”

  “You think not?” Suddenly his words sounded very much like a dare. And what sounded improbable, seemed more than possible.

  They followed first one path then another, stopping on the edge of a shimmering pond to watch the ducks and swans swim in lazy circles. Then they sat on a painted wooden bench at the edge of the water to watch the sun set behind a cloud, their fingers entwined.

  When the sun was nothing but a fading fireball sinking below the horizon, he put his arm around her shoulders and tucked her close. She leaned against him. For a long time they didn’t speak, didn’t need to.

  She lay against him in perfect contentment, with one arm draped around his waist, and her cheek nestled against his chest.

  Then, as the last rays of sunlight faded from the sky, he lifted her chin with his finger and covered her mouth with his lips. He kissed her thoroughly, complete
ly, desperately. His mouth moved over hers, his tongue touched her lips, entreating her to open to him. She did.

  He deepened his kiss, causing her blood to rush through her veins then thunder in her head. Her heart pounded like the beating of a herd of wild horses. And every secret place in her body churned with a molten heat that set her on fire. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him until neither of them could breathe.

  “Look at me,” he whispered. And she did. He smiled. “I see the moon reflected in your eyes.” He lowered his head until their foreheads touched. “Do you know what else I see?”

  She couldn’t speak. She could barely breathe. She only managed to shake her head.

  “Desire. You desire me as much as I desire you.”

  Her cheeks warmed.

  “Come. Mrs. Dewey will have our supper laid out. We will eat before we make love.”

  She lowered her gaze. She wasn’t used to such plain speaking.

  “I venture this will be one of the longest meals either of us has ever suffered through,” he said. Then, with the full moon bright in the sky and her arm looped through his, he led her inside.

  He was right. The meal lasted interminably long.

  Neither of them did justice to the fabulous feast Mrs. Dewey prepared for their first meal at Graystone Manor. When they finished, he escorted her to their room.

  She blushed when he dismissed Emma, telling her she could retire for the night, that he would help her mistress undress. But those first blushes paled in comparison to the burning heat that radiated from her cheeks when they made love.

  +++

  The glistening rays of the full moon shone through the open window, casting silvery streaks against his dark hair. She tenderly threaded her fingers through his hair as he lay heavily against her. He was a wonderful burden she didn’t want to give up.

  She stroked the glistening bronze of his back, the rippling cords across his shoulders, the thick muscles of his arms, and a solitary tear spilled from her eyes.

  She suddenly realized how open and vulnerable she was. What a target for betrayal. How could she survive if he ever held another woman like he held her? Kissed another woman like he kissed her? Made love to another woman like he made love to her? It was not only her body she gave him when he made love to her. She wished it were. But it was her heart as well.

  A heart she knew was as fragile and in danger of breaking as a delicate porcelain vase.

  +++

  Joshua rubbed his fingers against the muscles at the back of his neck and sat back from the desk where he’d been studying the estate books for the past three hours. Everything was in remarkably good shape, considering how little he’d concerned himself with the running of Graystone for the past three years. Since Philip had died.

  He chided himself for being neglectful. But things would be different now. He had a wife, and in time there would be children. He wanted to make sure there was something he could leave each of them, not just the one who would be next in line for the Ashbury holdings.

  Provided there was anything other than an empty title left by the time his father was through trying to lose it all.

  But that didn’t matter to him. Graystone Manor was safe. Allison’s dowry had seen to that.

  He closed the ledger on his desk and smiled. All that could jeopardize the agreement he’d made with her would be if he were unfaithful. And there was no chance of that happening.

  He thought he would resent both her and that damned agreement she’d forced him to sign. But with each passing day, the terms intending to shackle him to her meant less. Why would he turn to someone else when he’d been given the best gift any man could hope for in a wife? It had been nearly a week since they’d spoken their vows, and every minute since then had been ideal. She was the perfect companion by day and the perfect lover at night.

  He didn’t know how he could have been so fortunate to have her.

  There was a knock on the door and he looked up to see the woman who’d given him such pleasure standing in front of him.

  “Am I interrupting you, Joshua?”

  “No.” He walked around the desk to where she stood. He closed the door then took her in his arms and kissed her. She kissed him back with the same eagerness that she received all his attentions.

  He forced himself to lift his mouth from hers. “What can I do for you, my lady?”

  It took her a moment to catch her breath. “I was about to go over the menu with Mrs. Dewey for next week and I thought I should find out your plans.”

  He picked up her hand and held it in his. “Are you in a hurry to return to London?”

  “No. I would be content to never go back to London.”

  He smiled. “I wish that were possible, but it’s not. Tell Mrs. Dewey we will be leaving next Friday. Perhaps she will pack us a lunch for the trip. Some of her muffins.”

  She laughed and patted him on the stomach. “I think, my lord, it’s good you’re leaving Mrs. Dewey’s muffins behind. I hesitate to think what you’d look like were you to have a steady diet of them.”

  “Don’t you realize that I need them to keep up my strength? I would hate to be too tired and fatigued to be a proper husband to you.” He kissed the tip of her nose and she turned a deep crimson.

  “I love it when you blush like that.” He pulled her closer and kissed her again.

  She sighed and leaned into him, kissing him back.

  A knock at the door stopped him from deepening his kiss. It also made her burrow deeper against him to hide from Converse’s knowing eyes. Joshua could hardly keep from laughing.

  “Excuse me, my lord,” Converse said from the doorway. “There is a Mr. Graham here from London to see you. He says you are expecting him.”

  “Yes. Give me a minute then send him in.”

  The butler left, closing the door behind him.

  “You can lift your head now, Allie. Converse is gone.”

  “Oh, Joshua.” She clasped her hands against her crimson cheeks. “This is the third time in as many days Converse has come upon us when you were kissing me. I can’t imagine what he must think.”

  “I can.”

  Her jaw dropped and there was a chastising look on her face. “You, my lord, are terrible.”

  “And you, my lady, love it.” He put his arm around her shoulder and held her, then leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “But, to save you from further embarrassment, I’d best let you go so I can conduct my business with Mr. Graham.”

  “Who is he, Joshua?”

  “No one of consequence. Just someone I need to see.”

  When they reached the door, he turned her in his arms and held her. “Perhaps we could have an early supper tonight.”

  “Of course. I’ll tell Mrs. Dewey. Is there a reason for us to eat early?”

  He kissed her again. “Uh-huh. So we can retire early.”

  It didn’t take her long to understand his meaning. Her cheeks turned a rosy hue and she stepped out of his arms. “You are incorrigible, my lord.”

  “And you are lovely when you try to chastise me.” He kissed her once more on the lips, then opened the door. She cast him another censuring glance and left the room, averting her eyes when she passed Converse.

  He smiled as she walked away. He wasn’t sure how it had happened, but he was already more than a little in love with her.

  “Mr. Graham to see you,” Converse announced a few seconds later.

  Thadius Graham entered and Converse shut the door behind him.

  Joshua took note of his visitor: at the commanding way he carried himself, with his back erect and his head high. He looked little different from the last time Joshua had seen him. There wasn’t a wrinkle in his exquisitely tailored suit coat and breeches, even though he’d just ridden several hours to get here from London.

  He looked at Joshua with a confident lift to his chin and Joshua felt more confident of the choice he’d made to do what had to be done.

  Thadius
Graham was reputed to be one of the best solicitors in England. After meeting with him the first time, Joshua had no doubt his reputation was well founded.

  He was the perfect person to make sure there were no mistakes. He had a shrewd intelligence and understood what had to be done to protect Joshua’s holdings.

  Describing him as brilliant was an understatement. His vow that no detail would go unnoticed wasn’t an idle boast.

  Joshua knew what Thadius Graham’s presence meant. He knew that it was too late to go back now.

  A heavy silence stretch between them, then Joshua asked the question he dreaded having answered. “Did you have any trouble?”

  “No, Lord Montfort. All your instructions were followed to the letter.”

  It was over. Graystone was safe.

  Joshua looked down at the thick leather folder in the solicitor’s hands. The information inside was all that concerned Joshua.

  “I believe you’ll find everything to your satisfaction, Lord Montfort, although as I stated before, it is impossible to imagine every repercussion your actions will generate. We will have to stay alert to anything your father attempts.”

  Thadius Graham’s words sent a chill of forewarning down Joshua’s spine. “That doesn’t come as a surprise.”

  “I’m sure it doesn’t, my lord.”

  Joshua nodded, then walked to a small table and poured two glasses of brandy. “Please, sit down, Mr. Graham.” He indicated a chair beside the desk.

  Mr. Graham sat and Joshua handed him one of the glasses, then sat behind the desk with his glass at his right hand.

  He knew he should take a drink, that Graham would not lift his until Joshua had taken his first swallow, but he couldn’t. Not yet. He knew if he did, the man facing him would notice how his hands shook. For surely they would.

  Now that it was over, he could finally admit to himself that he could not believe he had taken such a risk.

  But he’d had no choice.

  Joshua took a calming breath then lifted the glass to his mouth. Graham sampled his own drink, then placed his glass on a small table to his right and opened his folder.