by M. Robinson
His calm exterior belied the storm I knew was brewing deep inside of his soul.
His demeanor controlled.
His voice composed.
His presence known.
I stood there watching and waiting for I don’t know what as he ordered in a harsh, demanding tone, “Stop the video right there and turn up the audio.”
“Congratulations, princesa.”
“Don’t call me that.”
Our voices echoed off the walls and my eyes quickly shifted to the screen. What couldn’t have been more than a few minutes, felt like an eternity filled with my regret and shame. There was no denying what I’d done, not when the irrefutable evidence smacked me right in the fucking face.
“I was wrong. I do know who you are. That crown on your head is fitting, considering you’re Sienna Luciano. Principessa mafiosa. Mafia princess, right?”
“If I believed everything I heard on the news then El Diablo would be dead, right?”
I couldn’t help but try to find forgiveness through my father’s presence. To say I was used to his blatant ability to not show any emotion would be an understatement. Even now, when I needed him the most, he remained calm and collected. Unfazed. Standing tall with his arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t acknowledge me at all.
Although, as soon as my sister’s voice filled the room his body tensed.
“You know you want to go to her,” she said.
“I’m not leaving you alone.”
“Ummm…I won’t exactly be by myself with all these people here.”
“You know what I mean.”
“So you’re just going to let her have the last word? That’s not the brother I know and love.”
“Who said that was the last word? She may have walked away but I’m the one who decides when we’re done.”
“Then prove it.”
“Ari—”
“Come on, Cruz. Just go! I’ll stay right here. I won’t move. I promise.”
She. Baited. Me.
Plain and simple.
Clear as day.
I fell right into her trap. Shaking my head in disappointment, I could no longer stare at the screen in front of me. Instead, I dropped my gaze to the floor in contempt. The room was closing in on me and the more I watched and listened, the more the guilt of what I’d done tore me down.
I. Failed. Her.
I fucking failed her.
“You don’t move from this spot. Do you understand me?”
“Loud and clear.”
“I’m serious, Adriana. You don’t move.”
“As a heart attack.”
“Ari, I mean it. I’ll be right back.”
“Take your time, I promise I’ll be right here waiting for you. Relax, Cruz. They’re over there by the bar. Can’t you see them? They’re the ones acting like they’re not watching my every move. Cruz, what did you do with Papás gun?”
“Don’t make me regret this.”
I should have known.
Expected it.
Felt it.
Something. Anything.
However, nothing prepared me for what happened next.
Not all the articles I read.
All the videos I watched.
All the rumors I heard.
Nothing.
“Papá—”
In an instant, my father snapped around and gripped onto my throat. “You left your sister to chase pussy!” he roared, tightening his hold.
Mercilessly, he slammed my body into the concrete wall behind me as hard as he could, crashing my head against the brick, making me see stars instantly. His disappointment came in the form of his fury, pummeling the wind right out of my lungs from the impact of his blow.
With a death grip now around my neck, he pinned me up against the wall. Not allowing me to breathe for one second. My chest heaved and my eyes watered. I gasped for air that wasn’t available for the taking. All the blood felt like it was draining from my face, down to my lips that trembled with the instinctual desire and need to breathe.
Survive.
“Papá…Papá…” I pleaded, clawing at his vicious hold.
The sound of my voice only further served to piss him off, savagely choking me harder until my words were cut off.
“Alejandro—”
“Mind your fucking business,” he snarled, callously interrupting Luciano’s attempt at helping me. “Leave. Now.”
“He’s your son.”
“I know who he is and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay out of this and leave me alone with him. This is family business.”
“Alejandro,” Lorenzo coaxed. “Think before you do something you will regret.”
His chokehold loosened a bit, and I silently thanked Luciano for that. My father ordered his guards to stay as Lorenzo excused himself from the room.
“You think you can meet The Devil and not be burned by the flames of his Hell?”
“I’m…sorry…”
“You’re sorry?” he mocked in a condescending tone. Cocking his head to the side, his grip strengthened on my windpipe, locking me in a death clutch.
I opened my mouth to speak, however only ragged gasps escaped my lips.
“Sorry doesn’t bring back my daughter.”
“Papá…”
“I thought you wanted to know who I was, who I am, Crucifixio? Isn’t that what you’ve always been searching for? Wanting me to show you the man beneath the fucking suits? I’m a bad man, son. I’ve done unforgivable things. But I’ve never, ever, betrayed my family to chase fucking pussy!”
At the sound of his harsh demeanor, I shuddered.
All my life I wanted to know about the man they called El Diablo. Never considering the significance of what that meant.
Because in order to meet The Devil I needed to say goodbye…
…to my father.
Chapter 8
—Cruz—
“You failed me.”
Three words that were far more ruthless than his brutal assault on my life.
“You had one job! One. Fucking. Job! The only thing I ask of you, the only thing I’ve ever asked of you! And you can’t even do that! You left her! You left your sister! For what? For pussy! You left my daughter for a girl you didn’t even know? What the fuck kind of brother are you? What kind of man does that make you? Who leaves their flesh and blood for pussy, Crucifixio? Who?”
My head spun.
My eyes ached and blurred.
My breathing slowed down.
He ignored my obvious distress as he continued to strangle what little air I had left. My lungs burned with the effort to try and breathe.
“Now she’s gone! Was it worth it? Was chasing pussy worth losing your sister? My daughter!? I trusted you! I fucking trusted you!”
Despite my vision starting to fade in and out, I could still see his murderous stare had never wavered from mine.
“She trusted you, Crucifixio! How could you leave her? How dare you betray me? I have given you everything!”
His fierce grip only intensified with each word that left his mouth.
Stronger.
Harder.
Deeper, into the wall I went.
My eyes fluttered, and my body started becoming limp. I was losing consciousness.
“Did you watch the time on the video, Cruz? Because I sure as fuck did. It was less than an hour, one fucking hour after you arrived! You couldn’t even protect her for more than an hour! Your lack of conviction disgusts me! No son of mine would choose chocha over family!”
His voice echoed through my head as a piercing ringing in my ears devoured me, creating dark spots to dance across my eyes. My head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds while my hands fell limp down to my sides.
“I’m so disappointed in you.”
I could sense myself drifting away from my body.
“I made it my mission to shield you, but now you’ve left me no choice! You want to be a Martinez, yet you’re out
chasing pussy when you should be protecting your family.”
All the fight in me gone.
“You’re no fucking Martinez.”
Vanished like it was never there to begin with.
“I can’t stand to look at you. Do you understand me? Are you hearing me?”
And then everything went black.
“You. Disgust. Me.”
Before the last word left his mouth, he let me go and I instantly crashed to the ground.
Cough, cough, cough…
I sucked in air, blowing it out just as fast as it came in.
Gasping.
Wheezing.
Gulping.
Panting.
I swallowed hard, my throat so fucking dry it burned. I gagged over and over again, feeling like I was going to throw up. Nothing came out, merely pitiful puffs as I suffocated on my own desperate breaths. Dry heaving all over the wood floor beneath me.
“You’re not my son. My son would never put pussy above his family. Ever.”
“I…know…” I rasped, gasping for my next breath. Through a glossy gaze, I slowly looked up at him. Suddenly winded for a completely different reason.
My eyes immediately widened, and my heart dropped, seeing my life flash before my eyes through the end of his loaded gun.
“This is how your legacy begins? With your sister as your first victim? Maybe this is where I should end it for you. Huh? Eye for an eye, Crucifixio.”
I felt fear for what felt like the hundredth time that night. His gun was inches away from my face, aiming right at my forehead.
“You don’t fuck with what’s mine.”
“I’m…I’m…” I choked out, trying to find my voice.
He shook his head, glaring at me with so much hate and love all at once. Battling the hatred he felt for the one he loved.
Adriana had always been his little girl, his firstborn, she was the light in his life.
In all our lives.
What did I do? What did I fucking do?
“Trusting you was my biggest mistake. You have failed your entire family. Where was your honor? If something happens to her, just know her blood is on your hands. You gave my enemies exactly what they wanted. Your blood, hers, your mother’s, it’s valued at a much higher price than mine. I can’t protect you any longer, Crucifixio. You want the truth? I’ll give you the fucking truth.”
He crouched down to my level.
“I faked my death, because I chose love over reason. I chose your mother over everything and everyone. Right or wrong never mattered until her. At the end of the day, who is a man without his family? I couldn’t bring her, you, your sister… my entire world into that life. It was no place to raise children and I didn’t know God existed, until I looked into your mother’s eyes. I know I didn’t deserve a happy ending, but God forgive me. El Diablo killed for it anyway. In order to save myself, I had to bury enemies. Do you understand now? Is it making sense? Anyone could have taken your sister. In the Devil’s world, revenge is best served through loved ones.”
I jerked back, blown away. I was at a loss for words. Ever since I could remember, I wanted to hear his truths. Though it was a hard reality to swallow, I waited on a baited breath for him to continue.
“Your entire life I’ve prayed to the lord above you wouldn’t pay for my sins. All you had to do was stay with her, Cruz. Just fucking stay with her. Did you not think I had a reason for you to be her protector? Do you have any idea what you’ve done? How could you betray me?”
When I didn’t reply fast enough, he demanded, “Answer me! I want to know why you betrayed me?”
“I thought…” I shook my head, unable to explain myself correctly. I couldn’t think clearly with him still holding a fucking gun to my head. “I just…I thought…Luciano’s daughter was in danger. I couldn’t just ignore—”
“Danger? In a mansion filled to the brim with cameras?”
“It didn’t protect my sister.”
“You didn’t protect your sister. Let’s make that crystal fucking clear.”
“I know. And I have to live with that, but I promise you we’ll find her.”
“Your promises mean shit to me. The next time you start to think you are man enough to make decisions about what is best for my family, think again, that is if you ever find your way into earning my trust again, Crucifixio.” He roughly jammed his gun into my temple. “You wanted to know who I am, right? Well, here I am, son. Do you have any idea what I’ve done to people I can’t trust?”
I shut my eyes, I had to. The floor felt like it was crumbling beneath my body, and I began to fall. Deeper and deeper into the surface, faster and faster into the hole where I couldn’t breathe again. The impact of his truths tortured my soul.
“No, no, no, you look me in the eyes when I’m fucking talking to you.”
I did, despising The Devil staring back at me with an icy, calculated stare. He rammed his gun firmly into my temple, but I couldn’t feel anything other than my pounding heart. I sank further and further, closer to Hell.
The irony was not lost on me.
“You better pray we find her before they have the chance to harm one hair on her head, or I swear on my mother’s grave, Cruz.” He leaned forward, close to my face. “I will fucking end you.”
“Oh my God, Alejandro!”
My eyes snapped over to my mother’s voice near the doorway. She stood there with a petrified expression on her face as if this was her worst nightmare, unfolding right in front of her panic-ridden stare.
“What are you doing!” she shouted, standing frozen in shock. Paralyzed by fear. Not moving one fucking inch.
My father didn’t look at her, he simply cocked his gun.
“Alejandro, nooooo!” she screamed with everything inside of her.
It all happened so fast. I shut my eyes, preparing for the wrath of his vengeance.
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned was my last thought, before I felt him move his gun from my forehead. My eyes shot open as he was swinging his arm behind his back.
The rest proceeded in slow motion.
BANG.
BANG.
My mother yelled, “Alejandro! No!” Right as another shot was fired.
BANG.
He blasted the last of his three security guards who were supposed to be protecting Adriana right between the eyes. Blowing their brains out the back of his head, splattering the floor and the walls.
No one moved.
No one breathed.
Including me.
The guards body collapsed to the floor with a loud, hard thud. My father didn’t even bother to turn around to see what he’d done. He killed his men point-blank, executing them, ending their lives without any hesitation whatsoever.
No warning.
No remorse.
No shame.
Silence.
The smell of burnt flesh lingered in the air, a scent that would forever haunt me. Witnessing someone get murdered for the first time was a memory I’d take to my grave. It was now a part of me, whether I wanted it to be or not.
Seared into my senses.
Ingrained into my body.
Branded into my soul.
“Oh my God, Alejandro…what have you done?” my mother exclaimed, her voice laced with nothing but distress.
He didn’t answer her. Instead he simply stood, hovering above me with an expression of pure disdain. It reeked off of him.
“I say what I mean, and I mean what I say, Cruz. We better find your sister alive and unharmed, or it will be your blood on my hands.”
I nodded, knowing he meant it. Loud and fucking clear.
Kill or be killed.
Fear or be feared.
Angel or demon.
I learned that night that it all went together.
Like heaven and hell.
Chapter 9
—Cruz—
“What have you done, Alejandro?”
“I took care of business, Lexi. That�
�s what I did.”
She frantically shook her head, staring back and forth from the bodies to him.
“Don’t look at them,” he ordered, making his way over to her. “Look at me.”
“Oh my God…you promised me! You promised me this was over! You swore you’d never bring our children into this world! You promised me!”
“Calm down, Cariño,” he called her his term of endearment, sweetheart in Spanish, and under normal circumstances it usually worked to soothe her.
“Calm down? Calm down! And don’t you Cariño me! You expect me to calm down when I just witnessed you holding a gun to our son’s head and then committing three murders?”
He reached for her.
“No!” She slapped his hands away. “What is going on? Cruz!” Pushing him away, she ran over to me. “Are you okay?” she asked, grabbing my face in between her hands.
I nodded, unable to form words yet. Having to answer to my father was one thing, needing to answer to my mother was completely different.
“Jesus…what is going on?”
As I got to my feet, my father and I locked eyes.
“I am not going to say it again, someone better tell me what is going on! Now!”
Luciano rushed into his office, his gaze flew from the dead bodies in the corner of the room, to my father who was standing by the door with hands in the pockets of his slacks.
With one look, Luciano understood his silent command. “Gino!”
“Si, Capo,” he replied, “Yes, Capo.” Meaning boss.
Without saying a word, he gestured toward the men and the guard didn’t hesitate, springing into action. Two more men walked into the room and quickly went to work on disposing the bodies.
How often did this happen?
“Alejandro, where is Adriana?”
“Ask your son.”
“Ask my son?” she repeated his words back at him, confused by his detached voice. “He’s our son.”
I opened my mouth to reply but the security surveillance caught my attention when I saw Adriana running on the screen.
“Ari,” I informed, nodding to her.
She was hauling ass out of the property, following some guy I didn’t recognize. Out of nowhere, a white van rounded the corner of the estate and pulled out in front of them. Ari jerked around, a stunned expression ripped through her face.