Relics

by Relics (retail) (epub)

  When David Blix’s wife had passed away from lung cancer a few years back, he had got close to committing suicide. In fact, he was so overcome with feelings of loss and guilt that he had locked himself away, refusing to speak with anyone except eventually Archie. Archie had managed to reach him, and not a moment too soon for it later turned out that, just a week earlier, Blix had renewed his shooting licence and even bought himself a twelve-bore shotgun with cartridges. Archie’s timing, as always, had been impeccable, and he had managed to pluck his former parishioner from the clutches of depression and place him on the road to a new life. Blix had never forgotten this, and whenever Archie was in the country, he would make sure they met up for a coffee or a meal, and their last meeting had proved no exception.

  ‘We had several cups of coffee, and I was about to walk him to the door when he said he needed my help. He made me swear I’d stay on site, at the museum, and just wait for you to contact me. He was also just as adamant that I must not contact you first. If it had been anyone else but him, I’d have told them to get knotted, but I could never have refused Archie. So I stopped off at home, grabbed what I needed, and came back here to the museum. Had I known I was going to be stuck here for over two weeks, I would have brought some more clothes. All I can say is thank God, there’s a shower in the utility area, or I wouldn’t have made it. Unfortunately, that packed up three days ago and still hasn’t been fixed.’ Blix lifted his jumper upwards in disgust. ‘It gets very hot down here next to the boiler room, and besides, I’m not sure I can take another night of Domino’s pizza!’ He motioned briefly to the stack of empty delivery boxes piled neatly in the corner. ‘Anyway, Archie made me swear to stay here, and when I found out he had died, well, I had to keep my promise to him.’

  Harker was just about to comment when Doggie beat him to it.

  ‘Did he leave anything with you for safekeeping?’

  Dr Blix gave a nod and a sigh. ‘Yes, he did, a small package. He made me swear to keep it safe and tell no one about it except for you. Real cloak-and-dagger stuff – very unlike Archie.’

  ‘And do you have the package here?’ Harker enquired with such urgency that Blix was prompted to stand up.

  ‘Sure. I can fetch it right now.’

  Both Harker and Doggie were already out of their seats and heading for the glass doors with such enthusiasm that Blix had to hop a few steps just to keep up with them.

  ‘Wow, you two gentlemen are really in a rush, aren’t you?’

  Harker moved aside, allowing the academic to precede them. ‘Bad luck has been shadowing me all day, David, and I don’t want it rubbing off on you. The sooner I take that package off your hands, the better. So where is it?’

  Blix smiled shrewdly. ‘I put it in the safest place I could think of. It’s in a whale.’

  ‘A whale?’

  ‘Yes, some of the security guards used to sneak drinks in so they could enjoy a tipple and make their nightshift that bit more enjoyable. Very cheeky of them. The museum’s director was furious when he heard the rumours, but, despite his best efforts, he never caught them with any alcohol.’

  Blix paused as they reached a small glass-enclosed service elevator just off the main corridor and pressed the call button before progressing with his story. ‘So he repositioned all the CCTV cameras one night without telling anyone and managed to catch them in the act. It turned out they were hiding their bottles in the mouth of the blue whale exhibit, which you can now only reach by ladder since they suspended it from the ceiling last year. Great idea, but it means none of the staff goes near it now, which made it a perfect hiding place for Archie’s package – even if I do say so myself.’

  He was obviously proud of his hide-and-seek abilities, but Harker said nothing. He would only be happy once back on the plane with the item secure and the sooner, the better.

  The elevator doors slid open, and Blix was already inside it when a thunderous stomping sound echoed along the corridor towards them, grabbing everyone’s attention. The passageway turned a corner fifty metres ahead, so they couldn’t see what was causing the commotion. But one thing was for sure: it was getting closer and coming fast.

  A sickly feeling of dread churned in Harker’s stomach as the sound became clearer, and he recognised they were the sound of footsteps. Big, heavy, footsteps.

  ‘No, it couldn’t be … could it?’

  His worst fears were immediately realised as the hulking mass of Drazia Heldon came hurtling around the corner, his arm-sword raised in the attack position, and a look of absolute bloody murder etched across his face. Harker instinctively pushed Doggie into the elevator before diving in after him. Blix was already frantically tapping the door button. Seconds later, the elevator sprung into life, and its doors slid shut just as the dark, forbidding shadow of Drazia Heldon fell across them.

  ‘What the fuck was that thing?’ Blix hissed croakily, his whole body frozen.

  ‘That was the bad luck I was telling you about.’

  No sooner had Harker spoken than the slender blade of Heldon’s arm-sword sliced through the elevator door with such force that it buckled the metal before imbedding itself into Blix’s shoulder. He then yelped in pain as the sword was summarily retracted, leaving a slit in the door. Beyond it, the Magi assassin stood silently watching them through the puncture as the elevator rose upwards and out of sight.

  ‘David!’ Harker moved to his friend’s side as Blix clutched at the stab wound and sank to the floor.

  ‘How deep did it go?’

  The academic gave a shake of his head. ‘Deep enough to bloody hurt, but I think I’m all right.’

  Harker pulled his hand away and examined the wound. Luckily, the blade had only penetrated a fraction into his shoulder, and, satisfied there was no need for a tourniquet, he pulled Blix to his feet.

  ‘I’m sorry to heap all this on you, David, but it’s essential I get hold of that package before he does.’

  ‘Who the hell was that?’ Blix huffed, his face still marble-white with shock.

  ‘It’s better you don’t know, but he’s not someone you ever want to meet again.’

  ‘No shit, Alex, you think?’

  The quip made Harker expel a sigh of relief. The professor was going to be fine, and, as he turned round, he realised that Blix was not the one he should be worrying about. In one corner, Doggie was still standing in a pose of sheer terror, his mouth wide open in horror, his eyes wide, and his hands outstretched as if clasping something invisible in front of him.

  ‘Doggie, are you OK?’ Harker asked, tapping the dean on his shoulder only to feel the resistance of tensed muscles.

  ‘Alex,’ Doggie managed. ‘I, I think I’ve wet myself!’

  Harker glanced down at the man’s trousers but saw there was no telltale dark stain. ‘You’re just imagining that. Now get it together, Doggie. I need you.’

  The elevator jolted to an abrupt halt, its doors sliding back to reveal the massive exhibit room known as the blue zone, and above them hung the plastic hundred-foot-long blue whale replica, suspended from the ceiling by two thick cables bolted in to its back. The bones of a further two leviathans were on display below, along with a host of other exhibits. The museum’s blue zone housed a variety of dinosaur, reptile, and mammal exhibits amongst others, but the whale exhibit was possibly the most famous.

  ‘Did you see the size of that man? He was the biggest I’ve ever seen,’ mumbled Doggie, still rooted to the spot.

  ‘And he’s on his way up to get us right now, so move your bloody arse, Thomas,’ Harker yelled at him uncharitably.

  The dean finally snapped out of it and made his way shakily out of the elevator, followed closely by Harker and Blix.

  ‘OK, where’s the ladder?’

  Blix pointed over towards an African savannah exhibit, where a folding stepladder was resting against a grouchy-looking rhino. Within seconds, Harker had positioned it directly below the whale’s gaping mouth.

  ‘David, is there
somewhere safe you can call the police from?’

  Blix gave a nod. ‘There’s a staff lounge with a phone just down the corridor.’

  ‘OK, make the call and then wait for the cavalry to arrive. Don’t worry about the sword-wielding psychopath because it’s me he’s after. Doggie, I need you to stay and hold the base of the ladder whilst I climb up and get the package.’

  ‘Maybe I should go with David?’ Doggie suggested nervously, but Harker silently shook his head and pointed to the ladder, clicking his fingers, before returning his attention back to Blix.

  ‘David, I know this is going to seem strange, but you can’t mention either me or Doggie to the police. I know it sounds dodgy, but I promise you …’

  Blix waved a hand, signalling for Harker to not say another word, and gave him the biggest smile possible considering the degree of pain he was in. ‘I already promised Archie I wouldn’t tell a soul, and that’s a promise I intend to keep. Besides, the day I start believing that you two are embroiled in a life of crime is the day I lose all faith in humanity. Now, you’ll have to climb all the way inside because it’s tightly wedged at the back of the throat, about twenty foot along. You’ll need to use this as it’s pretty dark in there.’ He pulled a small metal pen torch from his pocket and handed it to Harker. ‘Once you have it, you should make your way out by the same exit you came in through to avoid those policemen out the front. Good luck to both of you, and, the next time you’re setting up another treasure hunt, do me a favour …’ he smiled bravely. ‘Leave me out of it!’

  With a final wave, Blix was gone, which left a still shaking Doggie struggling with the ladder. ‘Come on, hurry up, my boy,’ he pleaded. ‘Let’s get that package and skedaddle. I have no wish to come face-to-face with that giant again anytime soon.’

  Within seconds, Harker was steadily making his way up the steps until he reached the whale’s mouth, all the while keeping an eye on the exits for any sign of the Magi assassin.

  The opening was easily large enough to squeeze through, and Harker hastily pulled himself inside, letting out a grunt of pain as he caught his kneecap on the whale’s lower lip. The cavity he now found himself in was so large that Harker could almost stand upright. He flicked on the torch and ran a beam of light slowly around the hollow space. The mouth itself was empty except for some leftover tools and a small pile of plastic shavings directly underneath a hole that had been drilled to admit the thick cable and bolt used to suspend the exhibit from the ceiling. There was also an empty vodka bottle, no doubt left by the night guards as a testament to better days.

  Harker made his way to the back of the mouth, which was sectioned off by a plywood partition that stopped him from going any further into the belly of the beast, and began to make a search with his torch. It did not take him long to find the eighteen-inch long rectangular package comfortably jammed between two of the struts holding the wooden framework in place. He reached over and gently pulled it from its perch before placing the torch between his lips and loosening the thick string that secured a large brown-paper bag around the box.

  A loud thud behind him caused Harker to bite down on the metal torch, and he cursed at the sharp pain shooting through his teeth as he spun around to find the source of the noise, the beam of light zigzagging back and forth.

  There, in the mouth opening, stood Dean Lercher, and, as the torch beam settled on his face, Harker could see the sheer panic on his face.

  ‘Doggie, what are you doing? I told you to stay where you were,’ Harker complained, walking over to him. But, before the dean could reply, a deep voice booming out from somewhere down below answered the question for him.

  ‘Meeting twice in one day – that’s extremely rare in my line of work. Usually one encounter is enough, but you’re proving to be a real challenge, Professor.’

  Harker peered out over the edge to see the intimidating amber eyes of Drazia Heldon glaring straight up at him. The lumbering Magi enforcer tapped the tip of his arm-sword, the blade still stained with David Blix’s blood.

  ‘I don’t know who your friend is,’ the killer gestured towards Doggie, ‘but for his sake, I hope he stays out of the way. Meanwhile, Professor, you and I have unfinished business, and if you’re prepared to hand me down the two items I seek, then you may both keep your lives. I’m short on time now because soon those guards will realise the bomb threat I phoned in was a fake, and we don’t want any more unnecessary bloodshed. This is a one-time offer, and I will allow you thirty seconds to decide. Consider this a goodwill gesture, but if you decline, then rest assured, I will chop you both into mincemeat.’

  The assassin gave an unsettlingly playful wave of his arm-sword and then pointed to his watch, making Harker instinctively pull his head back from the edge.

  ‘Alex, I vote we give him what he wants,’ Doggie yelped, but Harker shook his head. He knew they were trapped, but even if he did hand both packages over, there was no way that psychopath would let them go. That was a lesson he had learnt at the monastery.

  ‘Whether we give it to him or not, trust me, Doggie, he won’t let either of us walk out of here alive.’

  Harker’s blunt response drew a high-pitched protest from the dean. ‘So what the hell do we do? We can’t bloody fly out of here, can we? Good God, think of something, man.’

  Doggie’s shrill reply gave Harker an idea – it was a crazy idea, but they were running out of options. He knelt down amid the mishmash of abandoned tools on the floor and began to scrabble through them, stopping at a weighty-looking torque wrench.

  ‘You’re right, we can’t fly, but we can fall.’ He lifted the wrench up to the thick metal screw nut, securing the suspension cable in the roof of the mouth, and adjusted the tool’s aperture accordingly. ‘How much do you reckon this whale weighs?’

  Doggie firmly shrugged his shoulders and tried to hazard a guess. ‘I don’t know, ten, twenty tons, why?’

  ‘Because once I unloosen this bolt, the weight of it is going to snap the other suspension cable and then, my friend, we’re going for a ride.’ Harker’s idea elicited little positive response from Dean Lercher, who was already looking totally terrified.

  ‘A ride! To where, for Christ’s sake? We’re in a plastic whale!’

  Harker finished the wrench’s size adjustment, so it was now firmly positioned around the large screw nut, and gave it a hard shove that turned the bolt slightly, with a screech of metal.

  ‘Look, we need a distraction, and this is the best I can come up with. And, who knows, this thing might even land on top of that psychopath down below. Either way, this is happening. Now grab on to something tight.’

  Doggie was now looking horrified. ‘Grab on to what?’

  Harker loosened the nut further, pushing on the wrench with all his strength. ‘I don’t know, but you better find something now. I can already feel it going.’

  He gave one last muscle-aching tug on the wrench’s handle as Doggie pressed his back to the wall and grabbed one of the thin overhead struts with both hands.

  With an ear-splitting crack, the screw nut spun off, sending the thick cable zipping upwards through the hole in the roof. And then they were falling, the front end of the whale crashing down onto the complete skeleton of a genuine blue whale, causing the bones to splinter in all directions and sending Harker and Doggie violently tumbling out of the exhibit’s mouth and skidding across the floor only to end up in a heap at the base of a chubby-looking hippopotamus.

  The following moments became much of a blur to Harker as he struggled to focus on anything at all. He had felt something smack against the side of his head as they hit the floor, possibly the wrench, but he couldn’t be sure. Next to him, Thomas Lercher was groaning something unintelligible, which Harker took as a good sign because it meant at least the dean was alive.

  As his vision became clearer, he could see plumes of white dust from the splintered whalebones gently sinking to the floor. He grabbed hold of the hippo’s thick plastic whiskers and pulle
d himself to his feet. Harker steadied himself before bending down to offer his spare hand. It was grabbed immediately by Dean Lercher, who stood up with another loud groan.

  ‘Did we get him?’ Doggie asked as he rubbed at the scarlet bruise forming on his cheek.

  ‘Not sure. Hold on.’

  Harker looked back to the crash-landed whale, which was still intact even if the skeleton beneath it had been smashed into two. He scanned the wreckage thoroughly until he saw a sight that brought him close to vomiting. Drazia Heldon was pinned underneath the whale’s huge bulk, with a thick white shard of fractured bone jutting from his thigh. The Magi enforcer was conscious, however, and already trying to pull a silencer fitted pistol from his pocket, its sights getting snagged in the fabric of his coat jacket.

  Harker instinctively made for the exit, with Doggie staggering behind him, still dazed by the knock he had received. They were only metres from the main corridor, which would get them to the fire exit, when a bullet zipped past them and embedded itself with a ping into the brickwork to their right. The second shot was closer still, and then they were out of the exhibit room and heading towards the way out.

  Harker’s head began to cloud, and he stumbled to his knees, his vision becoming more blurry. He was close to passing out when he felt Doggie’s arm slip under his shoulder and haul him forward. Neither man spoke a word, instead using all their energy and determination on one objective – getting out of there. As they finally reached the elevator, which would take them to their escape route, a deep voice resonated along the corridor behind them.

  ‘Harker, there’s nowhere you can hide that I won’t find you. You’re a fucking dead man!’

  Doggie bundled Harker inside the lift and pushed the button for the first floor. At the very last moment, he stuck his head out of the lift door to yell one final comment to the still trapped assassin.

  ‘Maybe so you gigantic oaf, but not today, not today.’

  Chapter 29

  The balding, road-weary tyres of Superintendent Rino Perone’s sliver Alfa Romeo crackled over the gravel as it entered the Rome observatory driveway and pulled into an empty handicap zone. Inside the superintendent lit up his cigar with an A. C Milan Zippo, wound down the window, and took a deep puff before picking up the mobile phone from the seat next to him. He tapped in a number and placed the cheap twenty-euro mobile next to his ear. The familiar engaged tone reverberated from the earpiece, and he slammed the phone down in frustration, cursing under his breath.