A SEAL's Struggle

by Cora Seton

  Her father hesitated again.

  “We’re taking it very seriously. It’s… well, it’s hit your mother hard. You know how she is.”

  Win knew. Her mother would hate being sick. She didn’t brook obstacles. When she made a plan, nothing and no one could prevent her from reaching her goal. It was as if Vienna rode through life on a giant snowplow, simply pushing everything aside that stood in her way. She was single-minded. Obstinate. Direct. Those were good qualities when you needed to fight a serious illness, weren’t they?

  “You will come home, won’t you? You’ll come home to stay?”

  Win blinked. Stay?

  “I’m part of Base Camp,” she breathed. “I can’t leave for good. If Angus doesn’t marry when it’s his turn, they’ll lose everything.”

  Her father’s silence stretched out, and Win quailed at all the things he wasn’t saying. She knew how ungrateful that sounded. Her parents had done everything for her. Had spent—

  “Dad, I love him,” she whispered.

  He expelled a breath, and she waited, steeling herself against the anger she expected him to unleash.

  “What you love is a daydream,” he said softly instead. “You love an idea, Win, not a man.”

  “That’s not true!” She loved Angus more than anything.

  “Think about it. With your past, is it any wonder you went out and found a knight in shining armor? A man who spent the last decade or more serving in an elite military unit? A man you think could save you if need be?”

  She opened her mouth to protest but couldn’t find the words. She hadn’t fallen for Angus because he was like a superhero version of one of her bodyguards.

  Had she?

  No, she told herself firmly. Absolutely not. She’d fallen for his sense of humor, his gentleness, his intellect…

  “It isn’t fair to twist a man around your finger because you’ve refused a security team.”

  The accusation stung. She hadn’t done that—

  “Is that why you turned Leif away? Because he’s not built like a linebacker and toting a gun around all the time? I’m sure he’d work on that if you asked.”

  “Dad!”

  “You should remember it wasn’t muscles or guns that saved you, was it? It was your mother’s inheritance. You’re behaving like a child. A selfish, thoughtless child, going around ruining everyone’s lives because you don’t appreciate what they’ve sacrificed for you.”

  “That’s not fair!” She felt like she was thirteen again, newly freed and blinking in the blinding glare of the news cameras.

  “We’ve been unhappy with your choices for a long time, but we held back, thinking you’d come around. Grow up a little. But we can’t wait for you to come to your senses anymore. Your mother might die, Win, and if she can’t have you back home to help her get through this—to know you’re safe while she’s undergoing treatments and to have your help guiding Manners Corp and the foundation—then we’re done with you.”

  “Done with—What are you talking about?” The glare of the fluorescent lights seemed overbright in the little bathroom. The whole conversation was surreal.

  “Done. Finished. We’ll wash our hands of you. Cut off your allowance. Strike you from our will. Disown you. You can marry your Navy SEAL and take his name, because you won’t be welcome to ours anymore.”

  “Dad—” He couldn’t mean it. They wouldn’t just walk away from her—not now—

  “You have cut us to the bone with your behavior. Acted so selfishly we don’t even recognize you anymore. Your presence on that television show puts my career—and the entire family—in jeopardy, and it puts your own life at risk every day. Did you ever think about that? How it feels to be on our end, watching you flaunt your whereabouts to everyone? Knowing no one’s there to protect you? Knowing someone could take our little girl at any minute, and we’d have to live through that nightmare again?”

  Shame sliced through her. She had known it, and she’d done it anyway, ready to do whatever it took to stay with Angus.

  To stay with a man who, despite her protests, did make her feel safe.

  Was her father right? Had everything she’d done been born of selfishness rather than love?

  “Someday you’ll have a child of your own. You’ll understand what we’ve gone through, because that child will be as much of a target as you are.”

  She dropped a hand to her belly again as another wave of vertigo washed over her. She did have a child—protected within her for now but one day free to walk the streets on her own, innocent and sure of herself, like Win had been before—

  As memories flooded her mind, dark memories, she clutched the phone, trying to find the air she knew was all around her but somehow couldn’t get into her lungs. Her father was right; she’d made herself more of a target now that she’d participated in Base Camp. Her child would be just as vulnerable. Without her parents—without their money—what would she do if the worst occurred? Trust the police?

  She knew firsthand that wasn’t good enough.

  Julian’s voice softened again. “Come home. Make your mother happy. Stay until she’s well again. Until we’re past this battle.”

  “I can’t. The men will draw straws tomorrow. Angus might get the short one.” If he did, he’d have to marry in forty days. Win paced the restroom, where the walls were beginning to close in on her. She was too distracted to leave its confines, though. She needed her wits about her if she was going out in the world.

  “Your mother starts chemo tomorrow. Are you telling me you refuse to come home?” When she hesitated, he added, “I need you, princess. Don’t make me face this all alone. I thought I’d lost you once. Now I might lose your mother.” His voice cracked, and shame lanced through her again. What kind of an ungrateful daughter denied her dying mother what she wanted?

  “I can’t today,” she managed to say. First she had to tell Angus about the baby. She had to be bridesmaid in her friend Savannah’s wedding tomorrow. Had to see if Angus drew the short straw. If he didn’t, maybe she could go for a little while.

  “Tomorrow night is good enough. I know you have a wedding to go to. Bring your things, though. You might be here a long time. Your mom has quite a fight ahead of her.”

  “I have to come back when it’s time to marry Angus,” she asserted.

  There was another long pause, so long Win thought her father might have set down the phone and walked away.

  “You’re prepared to leave your mother in the thick of her treatments? For a television show?”

  He wasn’t listening to her. “For the man I love.”

  “If Angus loved you, he’d come to California, too, wouldn’t he? Strange it hasn’t even occurred to you to ask him. That speaks volumes, as far as I’m concerned.”

  Another hit below the belt. “I can’t ask him to let everyone down—”

  “Yes, you can. Family sticks together before all else. That’s what we did for you. Hell, Win, if you don’t mean to stay, don’t bother coming at all. Losing you midtreatment could kill your mother. Just go ahead and break her heart right now.”

  Win knew her father valued loyalty above all else. After all, he had given up his first political campaign for her, when winning meant everything for him and his backers. It had taken a public outcry for him to return to his campaign after she’d been saved.

  Would Angus do the same for her? Walk away from a goal he held dear?

  She shut her eyes as the answer came clearly. He’d promised everyone else he’d see the year through, do what it took to secure Base Camp for all of them. It would kill him to let everyone down. It would kill him to turn his back on her and their baby, too, though.

  Could she make him make that impossible choice?

  No. She’d never put him through something like that. She wasn’t like her parents.

  “Win?”

  She paced the small space. If she told Angus about the baby, he’d make their relationship a priority. If he did that, and sh
e left Base Camp, he’d feel like he had to leave, too, which meant ruining the lives of at least eighteen other people and watching a local developer bulldoze their community, shatter their sustainable dreams and pave them over to build a condo complex.

  And what about the millions of viewers the show had attracted? What would such an ending do to their commitment to changing the world? Her decision could deflate an entire movement.

  Nausea struck her as she realized what she had to do.

  “Princess?” her father prompted.

  She had to break it off with Angus—end their relationship so completely that he wouldn’t follow her, wouldn’t discover her pregnancy until it was far too late, wouldn’t harbor any hopes of reconnecting with her. Only then would he do his duty and marry someone else when it was his turn.

  He’d save Base Camp. Fulfill the obligations he took on when he came here. Keep his integrity intact.

  And she’d give birth to their child in California, make sure he or she enjoyed the full protection of the Lisle fortune—

  Alone.

  “Win!”

  “Yes.” She cleared her throat and tried again. “Yes, tell Mom I’m coming home. Soon. Tomorrow.” She clutched the counter, letting her tears silently fall.

  This is what you did for a child. Gave up the things you held dear—

  Even if that meant giving up the man you loved.

  “Good.”

  Chapter Two

  ‡

  Present day

  “There you are,” Boone Rudman said when he found Angus in one of the greenhouses.

  “Where else would I be?” Angus oversaw the hydroponic systems that grew most of Base Camp’s vegetables during the winter. It was March, still months away from when they could plant most crops outside. Angus couldn’t wait for June first, when the show would end and so would its stringent rules. That would take some of the pressure off him. They’d lost their first crop of vegetables when someone had raided their root cellar. He’d been struggling to provide them with more ever since.

  “Walker, get in here.” Boone waved the large Native American man inside, and all three of them faced one another.

  “What’s up?” Angus said finally. “Is this about the wedding?”

  In less than twenty-four hours, Greg Devon, his friend and fellow inhabitant of Base Camp, would wed Renata Ludlow, the woman directing the television show that was documenting the sustainable community’s progress. The ceremony and reception would take place at the manor, like usual.

  “Not exactly,” Boone hedged. “You two are the only unmarried men left, though. This time tomorrow, one of you will pull the short straw and be on the hook to marry.”

  In forty days, no less, Angus thought. So far they had met all of Fulsom’s stringent requirements to win Base Camp. In fact, they’d already accomplished what they’d thought would be the hardest obstacle. Three of the couples were supposed to be pregnant before their year was up. Right now six of the women of Base Camp were pregnant, and one baby had already been born; Jericho and Savannah’s son, Jacob Boone Cook. It felt like the tide was turning in their favor.

  “I know both of you face big obstacles to getting the job done,” Boone went on. “Angus, you’re not over Win. Anyone can see that. And, Walker, I hoped you and Avery would have patched things up by now, but that doesn’t seem to have happened.” He waited a beat, as if hoping Walker would correct him, but the man just shook his head. He’d believed Avery had stolen a family heirloom when in fact she hadn’t. Avery hadn’t forgiven him yet.

  “One of you has to marry next. And…” He hesitated. “There’s a twist this time. Just got the news from Fulsom.”

  “What kind of twist?” Angus demanded. He hated these last-minute rule changes Fulsom kept throwing at them. The man seemed to relish making their lives harder.

  “Whoever draws the short straw this time has to welcome one of the backup brides to Base Camp and date her for thirty of the forty days you get until your wedding.” Boone said it in a rush, as if that would make it more palatable somehow.

  “What exactly does that mean?” Angus asked. “We pick one out of a lineup?”

  “No.” Boone was firm. “As you know there was a bit of a brouhaha with the backup brides when Clem posted that article on our website.”

  Angus didn’t know which was worse—the codirector Fulsom had sent to annoy Renata a couple of months back or the Base Camp website, which to his way of thinking existed solely to humiliate the participants of the reality show. It featured quizzes, personal information, outtakes and photos that made all of them look either like idiots or action heroes. When Clem had arrived, he’d made it his business to terrorize everyone involved with Base Camp, especially Renata.

  To make life difficult for her, he’d posted an in-depth interview with a number of backup brides he’d sought out and riled up. It was true that each time one of the men of Base Camp faced his forty-day deadline to marry, Boone worked to find women online who were willing to meet—and marry—him, just in case he couldn’t find his own bride. Boone’s wife, Riley, had once thought she’d inherit Westfield, the ranch on which Base Camp was built. It would break her heart to lose it. So Boone refused to leave anything to chance. The only problem was, almost none of the backup brides had made it on the show.

  Angus hadn’t realized that was a big deal until he read Clem’s article, but then he figured it made sense. What would draw a woman to pledge her willingness to marry a man she barely knew? Fifteen minutes of fame on TV. All those frustrated would-be reality television stars were angry.

  “They’ve made a demand. They get to choose the woman who comes on Base Camp, or they’ll continue to pester advertisers to boycott our show.”

  “How are they going to choose?” Angus asked. Walker still hadn’t said a word, but he lowered his brows and didn’t look pleased.

  “They drew names from a hat or something, I think,” Boone said. “Something fair, in other words. They’re very fixated on fairness.”

  “They’ve already made their decision?”

  Boone held out his phone. On it was a photo of an attractive—but very youthful looking—woman. She had curly blond hair and soft blue eyes. “This is Leslie Baker, one of the women whose profiles I gathered as backup brides along the way. She’s twenty-six. She’s a master gardener with lots of experience with farming. She knows all about Base Camp; she’s followed the show since the beginning, understands what’s required of her. In other words, she’s perfect.”

  “Whoever draws the short straw doesn’t have to marry her, though, right? Just date her for thirty days?” Angus wasn’t sure why he bothered to ask. He didn’t want anyone but Win Lisle, the woman who’d walked away from him months ago, and she wasn’t available.

  He would never forget the day she’d packed a suitcase and left. She’d told him her mother was ill, asked him to drive her to the airport. He’d assumed her absence would be temporary.

  But when he dropped her off at the departures entrance to the Chance Creek airport, he’d realized he was wrong. She’d gotten out of the truck, waited until he handed down her suitcase from the back and kissed him. “I loved you, Angus. Don’t ever doubt it. This isn’t about you.” She’d handed him a letter to give to Savannah, who she’d known prior to coming to Base Camp, turned on her heel and marched into the building, leaving Angus staring after her, wondering if he’d gone back in time to the day his mother had said nearly the same thing. Fiona had shattered his whole world when she moved to Canada with one of his father’s teaching assistants barely a year after his family had emigrated from Scotland to the United States.

  Now it had happened again.

  He’d driven home in daze, unable to come to terms with any of it.

  She’d loved him? Past tense? But not anymore?

  What had changed her mind?

  Angus had never given his heart to a woman like he’d done with Win. From nearly the first moment he’d seen her, he’d deci
ded she was the one, and unlike his mother, he was loyal to the core. Months later, his love for Win was still steadfast—much good it was doing him.

  Savannah let him borrow that letter. He’d never given it back. Instead he read it daily, reminding himself the truth was he hadn’t known Win at all during her time at Base Camp. With him she’d been passionate, tender, curious about his line of work, diligent in the greenhouses—happy—but that hadn’t been enough to secure her love or loyalty to him. Her letter made that all too clear.

  Dear Savannah,

  Don’t think of me too harshly as you read this. You’ll understand far better than anyone else why I’m doing this, since you know my background. You may have turned your back on your family, but I find that I can’t. Mom isn’t just ill. She’s got cancer—and she’s not going to recover. And her wish is that I take my place back at home where I belong. She’s backed up this threat with a big stick, just in case appealing to my daughterly guilt isn’t enough—

  She’s threatened to write me out of her will. In fact, she’s already done so. I’m required to leave the show permanently and spend the rest of the year in California before she’ll think of reversing her decision. She wants me to miss the deadline to marry Angus so that he’ll have to marry someone else. She says it’s because he’s against everything my family stands for, but I know that’s not it: she thinks I’ll be unhappy with him.

  I can picture your reaction—your confusion. You thought I’d already given all that up. That my love for Angus would overcome everything else.

  You’re right; I love Angus. More than anyone I’ve ever loved before.

  But not enough. It turns out it’s one thing to leave your money behind—and it’s another thing altogether to have it taken away irrevocably.

  At the end of the day, I’m just as shallow and selfish as everyone ever thought I was. I can’t do it. I can’t be poor. I’m not clever like Angus or talented like you. Wealth is all I’ve had. It’s all I know.

  I hope you won’t hate me too much. I hope you’ll realize what this is costing me. Please tell Angus—tell him I love him. I really love him. But he’s better off without me.