A SEAL's Struggle

by Cora Seton

  Maybe it wasn’t him after all.

  Thoroughly unnerved, Win hurried back to Base Camp, almost jogging in her desire to get to somewhere she wasn’t alone. She wanted to find Angus and tell him what she’d seen, but she remembered the way he’d dismissed her parents’ warnings as lies. Would he think she was overreacting? Besides, he’d be with Leslie, and Leslie would certainly make a stink if she butted in.

  Win veered the other way and strode up the path to the manor, hoping to find a more sympathetic audience there. When she let herself into the kitchen, she found several women at the table, including Riley, Savannah, Nora—and Avery. Avery was sitting at the opposite end from the others, with Samantha and Addison in between them, but it was a start, Win thought.

  “Are you okay?” Savannah asked her, nudging an empty chair her way with her foot. “You look a little funny.”

  Win opened her mouth to tell them about the man in the woods, caught sight of Nora and changed her mind. She didn’t want to scare Nora over nothing. After all, when she thought about it now, all the man had been doing was walking. He’d been on the opposite side of the creek and hadn’t even looked her way. Was that even Base Camp land?

  She wasn’t sure.

  Besides, it looked like Avery and the others had come to some kind of understanding, even if they weren’t all the way back to normal. If she told them about the stranger, she’d break up the meeting, and to what aim? Best to take Boone aside later rather than cause a panic now.

  “Win?” Avery prompted.

  “Yes, I’m okay. It’s just… Angus kissed me.”

  Everyone perked up at that.

  “Details!” Avery exclaimed, and Win explained how it had all come about.

  “See? He wants you,” Savannah said.

  “Maybe, but Leslie’s sticking closer than a chaperone. I’m not sure how much longer I can stand to keep away from him.”

  “Leave it to us,” Riley said with a smile. “We’ll take care of that.

  Chapter Nine

  ‡

  The next few days were some of the longest of Angus’s life. Win had stopped deliberately tormenting him, but working in the confines of the greenhouses together with the others, somehow he managed to bump up against her, brush past her or come face to face more times than he could count, each little encounter leaving him more desperate to get her alone.

  Leslie tried to stick close, taking his arm, telling him everything she could think of to say—which was a lot—reminding him she’d come to marry him, and she was a woman of her word.

  Angus was growing desperate.

  So when Riley appeared in the greenhouse and asked, “Leslie, I wonder if you had any spare time to help me spring clean the manor? I’m not supposed to be doing anything too physical, and neither are most of the other women. I could really use a hand,” he knew there was no way Leslie would agree.

  “Spring cleaning? I love spring cleaning!” Leslie lit up like the sun coming out from behind storm clouds. “Let me at it.”

  Angus watched in surprise as she bustled out of the building with Riley, never once looking back. Byron and his crew members bustled off after them.

  He and Win were alone.

  When he turned to remark on the fact, he found Win right behind him.

  “We’ve got at least an hour.” She edged closer to him. “And I know it isn’t right, but, Angus, I want you inside of me—now.”

  Angus didn’t need to be asked twice. He took her hand, tugged her quickly toward the door and she followed willingly. Together they sped toward his tiny house, keeping watch to make sure no one saw them.

  Inside, he shut the door and locked it. There were windows here. Big south-facing ones to gather as much light as possible, but not in the loft. It was private there.

  “Up.” He pointed to the ladder.

  Win climbed up as best she could, her skirts tangling around her legs. In another month or so, when her belly got even bigger, she was going to struggle with this, he realized. Angus climbed behind her, making sure she made it safely. He’d installed a mattress last week, needing a place to get away now and then from Leslie—

  He didn’t want to think about Leslie.

  He didn’t want to think about the future. Or what he was doing. Or what would come afterward.

  All he wanted was to be with Win right now.

  Win thought she’d never make it up the ladder, but when she did, she crawled straight onto the mattress Angus had placed up there and turned around. Angus, coming after her, pushed her gently onto her back. Then he was above her, cradling her.

  Kissing her.

  She kissed him back, wriggling underneath him, wrapping her legs around his waist the way she’d dreamed of so long, linking them behind his back, lifting her hips to his, the bump of her belly getting in the way.

  He was hard.

  So hard.

  Straining against his clothing in a way that turned her on all over again. She reached down and hitched up her skirts, wanting to feel him, wanting—

  Angus rolled to the side, kicked off his boots so they crashed to the floor below them, shucked down his jeans and kicked them off, too.

  Yes, this was what she wanted. There wasn’t time to get out of this dress. Wasn’t time for anything but clawing and kicking and wriggling as she tried to get out of her stretchy gray pregnancy-waist yoga pants she wore beneath it. All the women had taken to wearing leggings under their Regency gowns during the winter, and she’d followed suit when she returned, although they barely needed them these days.

  Angus turned her over, grabbed the waistband and slid them down, taking her panties with them, exposing her bare bottom underneath. She felt rather than heard his breath hitch, and she held hers, too, as his hand caressed her skin.

  He tugged them all the way down, tossed them to the floor and turned her over again.

  “Is this what you want?”

  “Yes.” She didn’t think twice. Maybe she was battling with her demons, wondering how the people who loved her could treat her so badly, but her body knew exactly where she stood with Angus.

  She loved him. Wanted him.

  Trusted him with all of her heart. Maybe it didn’t make sense.

  Maybe it didn’t need to.

  “Yes,” she said again. “Please, Angus.”

  A second later he was in between her thighs.

  He didn’t say a word. Just met her gaze.

  And pushed inside.

  Win gasped as he filled her, then shut her eyes, taking him in, glorying in the feel of him. She let him take her wrists in one hand above her head, let him lift her breasts free of the neckline of her dress with the other. Felt his breath hot on her skin as he bent to explore them with his mouth, bracing himself so as not to press too hard against her belly, all the while pumping into her with long, strong strokes.

  She’d been dead for months, and now she was alive again. How could she ever have thought she could live without this?

  Without Angus, the man who made her feel—

  Everything.

  Sweet tension built inside her with every stroke and touch, and Win shut her eyes, surrendering to it, wanting to remember everything. Wanting to be present for every moment.

  Her whole body buzzed with awareness—with growing ecstasy. And when she finally came, her cries echoed in her ears, telling her everything she needed to know.

  She’d do anything to be with Angus.

  Would wait as long as it took. Trust that he’d wait, too.

  There was no other choice, because only this man—this wonderful man—made her feel this way.

  Angus came with a groan, and his thrusts triggered a second round for Win. When had this ever happened before? Who knew her so well he could fire her up just with a touch?

  Win clung to Angus, even when they’d both collapsed against the mattress. She didn’t want to be separate again.

  “Oh, lass,” Angus said. “You’ll be the undoing of me.”


  She wouldn’t answer that. Instead, she took his hand and pressed it to her belly. Their baby was growing inside there. She wanted him to remember that.

  His indrawn breath told her he just had. “I didn’t hurt you—or the bairn, did I?”

  “Of course not,” she assured him. “You were perfect. God, I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too.”

  Safe in Angus’s arms, Win felt like she could breathe for the first time in months. Angus made her strong. She didn’t want there to be any secrets between them ever again.

  But there were secrets. Or at least omissions.

  She needed to remedy that.

  “I need to explain why I really left Base Camp,” she said softly.

  Angus stiffened. “Really left? I thought it was because you thought your mom was sick.”

  “I did, but there’s more to it than that. A reason why the idea of her illness affected me so much.”

  He pushed up on one elbow to get a better look at her face. “I think anyone would be affected if their mother was ill, lass.”

  “Would you leave Base Camp if your mom was sick? Your biological mom?”

  Angus tried to pull away from her, but Win followed him, turning onto her side as he settled on his back and stared at the ceiling.

  “My mom left me.”

  “My mom didn’t. That’s the thing; when I really, really needed her, Angus, she came for me, and she moved heaven and earth.” Win traced a hand over his broad chest, loving the feel of him under her touch.

  “What happened?” he asked finally, just when she thought he wouldn’t say anything.

  “When I was thirteen, I thought I knew everything.” Win settled into the story. It was one she hated to think about, but she’d never forget what happened. “My parents were always planning things for me to do. I spent all my spare time at the club playing tennis, swimming with my friends. I had everything, but of course I found something to crave. Freedom.”

  “Most teens crave that.”

  “I suppose. I found it by slipping away from the club and going for long walks. There was hardly anywhere I could get to from there, but there was a gas station a quarter mile away. I’d walk over, buy a soda or candy bar, pretend I was anyone else except who I was. Sometimes I flirted with the cashier. Sometimes with guys on the street. I looked older than I was.”

  Angus was listening to every word. He pushed up to a sitting position, and so did she.

  “Did someone hurt you?”

  “Not like you think.” Win swallowed. She hated this part. She’d been so stupid. So damn naive. “One day a car slowed down, followed me for a little bit, and when I didn’t turn around, it pulled over and stopped. I thought it was just another guy who wanted to flirt with me. I figured I’d tease him a little and then admit how old I was. Send him packing.” She shook her head. “I sound like such a fool.”

  “You sound like a kid.” Angus took her hand and held it.

  “That’s what I was. A kid. Anyway, he called after me, and I stopped. Turned, thinking he’d be some distance away, but he was right behind me. I didn’t have time to scream. Saw nothing but his hands. Next thing I knew I was in the back seat of the car, my wrists zip-tied behind my back, blindfolded, a gag in my mouth. I couldn’t breathe. I was terrified. I kept trying to scream, but I couldn’t make a sound.”

  “Hell, Win.” Angus was as tense as a cougar ready to pounce. She could tell he wanted to travel back in time and take on the man who’d gone after her. He was a man of action. A man used to protecting people.

  “We drove and drove and drove. It was like a nightmare that never ended. Finally, hours later, we stopped. He carried me into a building, threw me into a room and closed the door.”

  “What happened?”

  Tears thickened her voice, but Win didn’t allow herself to cry. She had to get it all out at once so she wouldn’t have to talk about it again. Too late she realized she wasn’t confessing all of this in front of the cameras. Renata was going to kill her.

  Let her do her best, Win thought. She’d survived one attack; she could survive another. The important thing was that Angus would understand.

  “The room was pitch dark, the windows blocked from the outside somehow. At some point someone came in, cut the ties around my wrists, took off the blindfold and gag. I still couldn’t see anything—I don’t know if it was the same man, but I think it was. He left me there. I searched the whole room, looking for a way out. Found one door that was locked—the one my kidnapper had gone in and out of. Another one that opened to a bathroom. The toilet worked. So did the sink. There seemed to be a window there, but it was boarded up, and I couldn’t budge it. So I had facilities. I had water when I needed it but nothing else. They fed me once a day. Pushed a plate of food through a little sliding door and slammed it shut again, like I was an animal in a cage.”

  “Once a day? How long were you there?”

  “Weeks.” Win’s voice wobbled. “Forever. By the end of it I thought I’d died. I thought I was in hell. The guy never talked to me. Not one word that whole time. Not one sound penetrated the walls. It was just me. Just me.”

  “That’s psychological terror,” Angus said. “But you got away?”

  Win shook her head. “My mother came for me. First she and Dad went to the police, but there was no evidence of where I’d gone. Not a single camera caught me walking down that street or being taken.”

  “They weren’t as prevalent back then.”

  “When the police started talking about the trail going cold, my parents decided to take matters into their own hands. My mom was determined. She was going to find me. She was going to get me back.”

  “Your kidnappers never sent a ransom note?”

  “No.” Win shrugged. “The theory was they were waiting until my folks were good and desperate and then meant to ask for a huge sum. Instead, my parents gave it to a bunch of ex-military men. A security firm.”

  Angus straightened. “I got a few offers from that kind of place. Lots of guys in the SEALs end up with a job like that afterward.”

  Win nodded. “They tracked me down. Came and got me. First thing I heard in all that time was them busting down the door. I didn’t know who it was. I thought I was going to be killed.”

  “But you were saved.”

  “I was saved,” Win said. “They made the kidnapper… disappear.” She hesitated. She’d never been comfortable with that part of the story. “I don’t know where they took him or what they did. The news reports said he got away, but my parents said that wasn’t true. I was taken straight home to Mom. She grabbed me so tight, I didn’t think she’d ever let go.”

  “I can imagine,” Angus said softly.

  “No, you can’t,” Win snapped. “You can’t, because she’d never done that before.”

  A long breath escaped her as the memory hit her hard. That hug. Her mother’s tears. The way Vienna had murmured into her hair, practically carried her into the house and shut the door like she’d never open it again.

  What had followed were the best weeks of Win’s life until she’d met Angus. Vienna had doted on her. Spent every minute with her. Coddled her with her favorite food, watched movies and television with her, played with her hair, gave her makeovers and let her dress up in her clothes. All the things Win had always dreamed of doing. The things other mothers did with their girls.

  She didn’t realize she was sobbing until Angus lifted her into his lap and wrapped her in a hug.

  “Let it out,” he said. “Just let it all out.”

  She told him all about those days through her tears, how wonderful Vienna could be when she wasn’t tangled up and overwhelmed by running Manners Corp and the Manners Foundation.

  “I was sad all over again when things got back to normal,” she told him, drying her eyes. “But Mom had a business to run. A foundation, too. I eventually went back to school, but now I had an entourage, as my friend Andrea used to say. A security detail,” she clar
ified. “I was basically never alone again until I came here.”

  “You’re not alone now,” he said, smoothing her hair back and brushing a kiss over her lips. “If it wasn’t for Leslie, I’d be with you every minute, lass.”

  “I know.”

  “Thirty days. Twenty-three now. When the month is over, I promise we will never be apart again. Meanwhile, you’d better believe I’ll keep you safe.” Angus’s gaze searched hers. “I love you, Win Lisle.”

  “I love you, Angus McBride.”

  “I’m going to propose to you just as soon as I can, but I won’t do that with another woman in the way. Can you wait for me?”

  “Yes,” she promised.

  She’d wait as long as it took.

  The second time they made love, Angus took his time, undressing her all the way slowly and reacquainting himself with every inch of Win’s luscious body. Her cheeks flushed from their earlier lovemaking, she was lovely and happy, and looking at her made him hard again. Now he truly understood why she’d left Base Camp. Win thought she owed her mother her life. He had questions about her childhood and about whether Vienna had gotten her work/life balance right if Win had been so starved for love; wondered, too, what the Lisles had done with the kidnapper, but those could wait. All he wanted to do was be with Win again.

  He’d been fooling himself if he’d ever thought he was over her—or could get over her through sheer force of will. Win had gotten under his skin the first time they met, and he wasn’t through with her yet. Not by a long shot. As he moved over her body, stroking his hands—and his lips—over her skin, she stretched and arched her back, every inch the satisfied woman.

  Not too satisfied yet, he hoped. He wanted to make her scream.

  Win’s cries were the loveliest sound he’d ever heard.

  When his explorations brought him to her hips, he lifted them in his hands and bent to taste her, Win’s moans and movements letting him know he was giving her pleasure. She was soft and wet and sweet, a heady cocktail that had him wanting to be inside her again.