Who is She

by Glina Fastiv

  "Hey, I'm gonna need you to stay later today. We have some things to go over." He says.

  Inside I get really frustrated, but I don't show it. "Oh, okay. Any idea how long? I just need to let a friend know..." I say.

  "Maybe 5:30?" He says.

  "Okay, I'll meet you in your office in a few minutes." I say with a forced smile. He couldn't have picked a worse day for this.

  I call Leah, but she doesn't answer me so I go up to his office to help with what he needs.

  Hours pass and I'm still here and it feels like no progress has been made whatsoever. Leah still hasn't called or sent me a text, I'm getting anxious. I need to see her before she gets to the airport. Before I know it another hour has passed and I'm losing all hope of seeing Leah.

  "Finally, we can go." My boss says. I force a smile and quickly gather my things. "Going somewhere?" He asks.

  "I'm supposed to take a friend to he airport, but I'm not sure if she's already left or not." I say.

  "Oh, well then I guess you wouldn't want to come out tonight? I was hoping to promote you and give you a raise, but I have to show some decent hours before I can do it." He says. Shit.

  "I mean, yeah. I'll go! Just- I have to change." I say, motioning to my outfit.

  He smiles and nods his head, "send me your address and I can pick you up in about forty-five minutes. Don't dress too fancy, not going anywhere special." He says.

  I leave the office slightly disappointed and somewhat excited due to the news I received from my boss. I'm getting a raise...hell yeah!

  I go home and change into jeans and a tank top that's pretty tight. It shows lots of cleavage (which I'm a bit nervous about), but it's cute.

  Aaron texts me to let me know he's downstairs so I quickly go down and see his car parked by the curb. I climb inside and he smiles, "you sure do clean up nice." He says with a smile.

  "Please... I dress nicer at work." I laugh.

  "Well, you look amazing." He says and I smile as he drives off.

  I hope this doesn't turn into a huge mistake. I am already on edge and a little upset because of Leah, and now I'm going out with my boss? Ugh. My life is a mess.

  32

  "You have two choices. Beer or three shots of tequila." Aaron says as he hands me a beer.

  I shake my head and drink some, "tequila is not my friend." I say.

  He laughs and grins at me, "I don't think tequila is anyone's friend." He jokes. I smile and just look at him for a second. "What?!" He asks.

  "Nothing. I'm just surprised... that's all." I say and he looks at me funny.

  "Surprised about?" He raises his eyebrows.

  "You! I didn't take you for the sports bar kind of guy." I say and shrug.

  "What kind of guy did you take me for?"

  "Fancy night club behind a velvet rope.." I grin.

  Aaron shakes his head slowly, "wow, I'm slightly insulted."

  We continue to talk and joke for a while, it's good to see this side of him. I never see him outside of work, so this is gonna be good for our boss/employee relationship I think.

  "Oh, Jennifer." He says and grabs my waist, causally pulling me to him. "This is Landin. He's my best friend. Landin, meet Jennifer. She's working for me now." He says.

  I smile and shake hands with this guy. He is tall and muscular, just like Aaron. These are the type of guys that are dangerous. They know they're attractive and they'll use it to get whatever it is that they want.

  There is a tiny piece of me that is worried about... this. The entire situation.

  * * *

  I wake up to my phone ringing, so I sit up rather quickly and answer it. "Hello?"

  "Jen, hey." Leah says, her voice soft.

  "What the hell? You're kidding, right? You didn't even tell me goodbye." I grunt and force myself to wake up in order to be pissed at Leah. Priorities.

  "I'm sorry! I tried... things got complicated and they started moving faster than I could control." She reasons.

  I roll my eyes to myself and shake my head, "whatever. Are you there?"

  "I am now. How are you? What did you do last night?" Leah asks me, trying to seem interested.

  "I went out with my boss for drinks." I chirp.

  "Just the two of you?" She asks, her tone changing.

  "Kinda, his friend was there. It wasn't anything serious." I say and climb out of bed and make my way to the bathroom.

  "Oh, okay. I miss you already... I took some pictures when we landed. I'll send them to you." She says.

  "Miss you too, Leah."

  "You're that angry?" She asks me.

  "I'm not angry. I have a headache and I wanted to see you last night. Whatever, leave it alone." I hiss. I'm definitely angry.

  "Okay, attitude. Call me when you're less bitchy." She sasses and ends the call abruptly.

  My jaw drops. "Well, screw you too." I roll my eyes and get into the shower and start my day.

  * * *

  Leah's been gone for one week and two days. I miss having her around, but it's getting easier I guess. We haven't been talking like we normally would. Probably my fault for having such an attitude about her not saying goodbye. She even sent me flowers with a note the next day, but I'm stubborn and a brat sometimes.

  I haven't spoken to her at all today, I actually think she's sleeping right now. She doesn't seem too upset to be away from me and it has me thinking that she'll probably move away for good and take that job. I'm a mess, I don't know what to think, so I just don't.

  "Thank you for helping out with those emails today!" Aaron says as we head back up the elevator.

  "No problem, sorta what you pay me for." I laugh.

  "Right... can you come to my office and help with a thing?" He asks and smiles kindly.

  "Yeah, sure thing!" I say happily and we go to his office and he closes he door behind us.

  "What did you need help with?" I ask him and lean against the chair.

  "I have a few new options for our updated logo... I want your opinion." He says and goes to the computer. He pulls them up and I tell him what I think, then he walks back around his desk and stands a couple of feet from me.

  "I've really enjoyed working with you and getting to know you." He says to me.

  "I have too, thank you for everything... it means a ton to me that you gave me this opportunity." I say and he smiles and nods his head.

  "I think I have a confession to make." He says and tucks one hand into his pocket.

  "What's that?" I laugh innocently.

  "I hired you solely based on your looks. Jennifer, you are incredible and stunning and- you're everything I could ever want in a woman. I know you said you have been in a long term relationship that recently ended, but I felt like you should know." He says.4

  I feel myself blushing and I look down, "thank you, Aaron. That's sweet but I-"

  "You're sexy... and slightly intimidating which makes me that much more determined to have you." He says, his voice low and he keeps stepping into me.2

  "I-" I can't get a word out before he kisses me.

  "I've wanted this since the day you walked in here." He whispers and kisses me again.

  Of course I think about what it would be like... he's hot. And he's kissing me... a lot. I end up kissing him back and things get hot really fast.10

  Before I know it we're on the small couch in his office and I have my dress pulled up over my hips while I straddle his lap. His hands wander all over my body and I'm not gonna lie, it's super enjoyable.

  We end up having some pretty damn good sex right there in his office and I'm left panting like a dog.7

  "Shit..." he mumbles and looks up at the ceiling.

  I laugh quietly and climb off of him and he lays on his back. I lay on his chest for a few minutes and then my mind starts turning... Leah. I just- why did I do that?

  "I shouldn't have had sex with you." I say and quickly sit up, realizing what I just did was a major fuck up for numerous reasons.7

  Aaron furrow
s his brows and watches me get dressed in a frenzy. "What? Why?"

  "I'm seeing someone." I admit and stand up, sliding my heels back on.

  "You told me you were single?" False.

  "No, I told you I didn't have a boyfriend or a husband. Aaron, I have a- well, I have Leah." I say and he looks at me like I'm a psychopath.

  "You what?"

  "I've been kinda dating Leah for several weeks now and- I shouldn't have done what I did. That can't happen again, I'm sorry. I need to leave." I say, feeling really sick with myself.

  "Wait-"

  "No, I'm going." I say and leave the office. I really cannot believe I just let that happen...

  33

  I know what I did was really wrong and f'd up, even if Leah and I aren't officially together. I haven't had to face her since it happened and I don't know what I'm going to tell her. I can't just lie and pretend nothing happened... she has a right to know. I just don't know if it would be better to tell her face to face or over the phone.8

  Out of no where, my decision making time is cut down dramatically when she calls me.

  "Hey." I answer and she sounds really happy.

  "Hi gorgeous. How are you?" She asks and my heart starts to pound in my chest.

  "I'm okay, I've been better." I say and sit down on my bed.

  "Are you alright? You sound upset." She points out.

  "I- we need to talk. I don't want to do this over the phone though. When you get home would be better." I say.

  "Oh, alright... about what?" Leah presses.

  "I don't want to get into it right now. I'm gonna go make breakfast and then get to work." I tell her and she hangs up after that. I'm dreading that conversation with her.

  * * *

  Leah's back home and I still haven't seen her, I've been too nervous. She's only been home for one night but I still feel really horrible about everything.

  My sister is at her not-boyfriend's house for the night so it's just me and my medium pizza for the whole night. I get comfortable on the couch with Netflix on and then I hear someone knocking on the door.

  I sigh and consider pretending no one is home, but then I get up and look through the peep hole. I see Leah and my heart starts POUNDING.

  "I didn't know you were coming." I say and open the door.

  She smiles a little and comes inside, "you said we needed to talk." She tells me. I take a deep breath and she walks over to me and hugs me.

  "I missed you..." she says softly. I hug her back and then go sit on the couch and she sits down beside me. "What did you want to talk about?" She asks.

  "I did something stupid." I confess after a brief pause. She looks at me for a few seconds, not saying anything.

  "Jennifer..."

  "Leah, it was dumb and it was a mistake. I-" I pause and look down.

  "Who did you sleep with?" She asks and I look up at her and a tear comes out of my eye.3

  "My boss." I whisper and she bites her cheek and lays back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry, Leah. I hated myself right after I did it. It just sort of happened and--- I wish it wouldn't have. I know it's my own fault, but I would do anything to change it." I say and she reaches up and literally covers my mouth with her hand.

  "Please stop talking." She asks of me.

  We sit there for several minutes in silence and she finally looks at me. "I knew you slept with someone." She says.

  "Wha- how?"

  "Jennifer, girls only use the 'we need to talk' thing for a few reasons. I knew you weren't pregnant, I doubted you were breaking up with me since we weren't even together, so I knew you did something stupid like that." She says.

  Then, she keeps going.... "I was pissed when you told me that so I went out and got a little drunk and woke up the next morning with a girl in my bed. So, we both did stupid things. Now it's about asking forgiveness because I don't want to lose you... and I would hope you don't want to lose me either." She says.

  I am totally blindsided with that. She- what? I can't even be mad... I didn't the exact same thing to her. Call it even? Somehow it doesn't feel that simple.

  "I- why is this happening?" I mumble, talking more to myself than to Leah. She doesn't say anything in response to that, so I just sigh and go to the kitchen and open the fridge, searching for a beer... or anything with alcohol in it. I find something and put it on the counter and then I lean over it and close my eyes. I don't know what to think anymore. I wish I could re-do all of this.

  "Don't beat yourself up about this. It's whatever. I can move past it if you can and we can get through it." She says from behind me.

  "Leah, it's not that simple for me!" I yell a little and she raises her eyebrows and folds her arms over her chest.

  Cheating is the reason my engagement was broken off... now both myself and Leah have done the exact same shit.

  "But it was that simple when you opened your legs for your boss?" She sasses.

  I bite my lip and look at the ceiling, filled with frustration. "Don't- just don't." I roll my eyes and turn my back to her.

  I need space to breathe and collect my thoughts. I grab my drink and start to walk to my room but she stops me in the hallway.

  "No, look at me." She demands and I just stare at her blankly.

  "I do not want to talk to you." I groan.

  "No? Why? I make you mad? You fucked your boss... it's not like I'm lying ab-"

  "Shut up!" I yell and she shakes her head slowly and slams my back against the wall.1

  "Wanna try that again?" She mumbles and grabs both of my hands and pins them above my shoulders. I just look at her and start breathing harder and harder.

  She kisses me hard and she gets really rough with me. She basically plays pinball with me using the walls of the hallway as she takes me to my room... we end up having sex, really rough sex that actually brings tears to my eyes and leaves marks on my ass and thighs, and then we are both left laying there naked.

  Neither of us speak for a few minutes and I can't even look at her. How did this happen? We were fighting and then- what?

  "I could've used that about a week ago." Leah says.

  I sigh and close my eyes. "I'm sorry."

  "Stop. I don't want to talk about it ever again. I love you." She says and rolls over so that she's on top of me.

  I nod my head and she kisses me slowly and it feels a little better this time. Maybe if you really love someone you can let things go and move on... no matter how fucked up and twisted things get.

  34

  Three weeks have gone by and everything feels... sorta normal. No more awkward, silent tension. Thank god.7

  I'm sitting on the couch in the apartment playing around on Facebook when my phone rings.

  Usually when the phone rings any time past 12:00am it's Leah, but I'm super shocked when I flip my phone over and see Danny's name. I answer the phone and I instantly know he's drunk.

  "Jennifer... I need you to come- get me." He mumbles and slurs.

  I roll my eyes and sigh, "get someone else. Danny, you've got to stop drinking like this." I sass and he continues to argue for several minutes.

  "Fine, I'll drive!!" He yells through the phone.

  "Danny, no." I insist. He and I may not be on the best terms, but I still won't let him put himself and others in danger by driving in his state.

  "Yes, byeeee!!" He slurs.

  "FINE! Where are you? I'm coming." I groan.

  "Our spot." He tells me.

  I end the call with my ex and grab my shoes and keys.

  On the way I call Leah and she is not happy about this. She doesn't want me within feet of her brother, and I don't blame her.

  "Jennifer, I don't want you near him. Please do not do this." She begs me.

  "Leah, he's drunk and he doesn't need to be driving. You have to realize that I loved this man... please just- let me." I ask her.

  "Call me as soon as you get home." She says.

  "I love you!" I say happily. She laughs and says
it back.

  I find Danny at our old date-spot and get him into my car, while I drive he starts to talk more and more.

  In all honesty, I'm not interested in talking to him. I just want to get him the hell out of my car. I finally get him home, and walking into this house, the one that used to be mine, feels weird.1

  We stop in the kitchen and he grabs a water bottle.

  "You gonna be okay?" I ask him and lean against his countertop.

  "Guess so..." he mumbles and walks back towards me.

  "Danny, you need to stop drinking like you have been." I say and he laughs.

  "You know why I drink?" He asks and continues walking closer. "I drink because my fiancé left me because I cheated on her. I'm not over her and I sill love the hell out of her. That's why I drink, Jennifer. Don't come and tell me how to live my life when you're the one who walked out of it." He says and I just stare at him for a few seconds. I don't know what to say to that.

  He tries to guilt trip me for leaving a toxic, emotionally abusive relationship.

  Danny suddenly charges toward me and kisses me deeply. He picks me up and puts me on the counter and I kiss him back a couple of times and then I push him back and leave my hands on his chest.1

  "Danny...." I whisper and sigh, "we're over." I say and slide off of the counter, forcing him away from me. I don't want him.

  "Are you sleeping with her?" He asks me and keeps his eyes down.

  "Why do you need to ask me that?!" I ask him and he looks up at me, angry.

  "I know you are!!! I just- I need to hear it from you, Jennifer." He screams at me.

  "Yes, Danny. I'm fucking your little sister at the end of every day. Why the hell do you need to hear me say that?!" I ask and shake my head.

  "Goodnight." He says and literally just walks away from me, leaving me in the kitchen of the house we used to share.

  I let myself out and head home, texting Leah to let her know I'm okay.

  What a night.

  * * *

  "Babe, please! I don't want to go in here and feel all awkward..." I pout as I sit in the floor of my bedroom, directly in front of the mirror while putting make up on.