The Mousetrap and Other Plays

by Agatha Christie

  KARL. Certainly, Sir William.

  ROLLANDER exits up C to R. LISA follows him off. KARL moves to the desk chair and leans on the back of it.

  ROLLANDER. (off) Good night.

  LISA. (off) Good night, Sir William.

  LISA re-enters, leaving the doors open. She stands up LC.

  So the girl wins.

  KARL. Do you think I should have refused?

  LISA. No.

  KARL. I have made Anya suffer so much already. For sticking to my principles I was turned out of the university at home. Anya has never really understood why. She never saw my point of view. It seemed to her that I behaved foolishly and quixotically. She suffered through it far more than I did. (He pauses) So now there is a chance of recovery and she must have it. (He sits at the desk)

  LISA. What about those two students? Won’t one of them have to go to the wall?

  KARL. Of course not. I shall make the time. I can sit up late at night to do my own work.

  LISA. You’re not so young as you were, Karl. You’re already overworking yourself.

  KARL. Those two boys mustn’t suffer.

  LISA. If you have a breakdown, everybody will suffer.

  KARL. Then I mustn’t have a breakdown. It’s fortunate that no principle is involved here.

  LISA. Very fortunate—(She looks towards the door down R) for Anya.

  KARL. What do you mean by that, Lisa?

  LISA. Nothing, really.

  KARL. I don’t understand. I’m a very simple man.

  LISA. Yes. That’s what’s so frightening about you.

  The thump of ANYA’s stick is heard off R.

  KARL. (rising) Anya is awake. (He moves towards the door down R)

  LISA. (moving down C) No, I’ll go. Your new pupil will want to see you. (She goes towards the door down R)

  KARL. (as she passes him) You do believe that I have done right? (He moves and stands below the armchair)

  HELEN enters up C from R.

  LISA. (pausing at the doorway and turning to KARL) What is right? How do we ever know till we see the result?

  LISA exits down R.

  HELEN. (in the doorway) The door was open so I came straight in. Is that all right?

  KARL. (rather far away and staring after LISA) Of course.

  HELEN. (moving to R of the armchair) I do hope you’re not angry. I dare say you feel I’m not much good as a scholar. But you see, I’ve never had any proper training. Only a silly sort of fashionable education. But I will work hard, I will, really.

  KARL. (coming back to earth) Good. (He goes to the desk and makes some notes on a sheet of paper) We will commence a serious life of study. I can lend you some books. You shall take them away and read them, then you will come at an hour that we fix and I shall ask you certain questions as to the conclusions you draw from them. (He turns to HELEN) You understand?

  HELEN. (moving up C) Yes. May I take the books now? Daddy’s waiting for me in the car.

  KARL. Yes. That is a good idea. You’ll need to buy these. (He gives her the list he has written) Now, let me see. (He goes to the bookcase R of the double doors and picks out two large volumes, murmuring under his breath as he does so.)

  HELEN watches KARL.

  KARL. (Almost to himself as he picks the volumes) You must have Lecomte, yes, and possibly Wertfor. (To HELEN) Do you read German? (He moves to L of the table RC)

  HELEN. (moving to L of KARL) I know a little hotel German.

  KARL. (sternly) You must study German. It is impossible to get anywhere without knowing French and German thoroughly. You should study German grammar and composition three days a week.

  HELEN makes a slight grimace.

  (He looks sharply at HELEN and hands her the two books) The books are rather heavy, I’m afraid.

  HELEN. (taking the books and nearly dropping them) Ooh—I should say they are. (She sits on the left arm of the sofa and glances through the books) It looks rather difficult. (She leans on KARL’s shoulder slightly as she looks at the books) You want me to read all of it?

  KARL. I should like you to read it through with especial attention to chapter four and chapter eight.

  HELEN. (leaning almost against him) I see.

  KARL. (crossing to the desk) Shall we say next Wednesday afternoon at four o’clock?

  HELEN. (rising) Here? (She puts the books on the sofa)

  KARL. No. At my room in the university.

  HELEN. (rather pleased) Oh, thank you, Professor Hendryk. (She crosses above the armchair to R of KARL) I really am grateful. I am indeed, and I shall try very hard. Please don’t be against me.

  KARL. I’m not against you.

  HELEN. Yes, you are. You feel you’ve been bullied into this by me and my father. But I’ll do you credit. I will, really.

  KARL. (smiling) Then that is understood. There is no more to be said.

  HELEN. It’s sweet of you. Very sweet of you. I am grateful. (She gives KARL a sudden quick kiss on the cheek, then turns away, gathers up the books, moves up C and stands in the doorway, smiling at KARL. Coyly) Wednesday. At four?

  HELEN exits up C to R, leaving the doors open. KARL looks after her with some surprise. His hand goes to his cheek and he finds lipstick on it. He wipes his cheek with his handkerchief, smiles, then shakes his head a little doubtfully. He goes to the record player, puts on the record of the “Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto,” switches on, then goes to the desk and sits. He starts to do a little work, but pauses to listen to the music. LISA enters down R. She stands there a moment, listening and watching KARL, but he is not aware that she is there. Her hands go up slowly to her face as she tries to retain composure, then suddenly she breaks down, rushes to the sofa and slumps on to the right end of it.

  LISA. Don’t. Don’t. Take it off.

  KARL, startled, swings round.

  KARL. (puzzled) It’s the Rachmaninoff, Lisa. You and I have always loved it.

  LISA. I know. That’s why I can’t bear it just now. Take it off.

  KARL rises and stops the music.

  KARL. (crossing to L of the sofa) You know, Lisa. You’ve always known.

  LISA. Don’t. We’ve never said anything.

  KARL. But we’ve known, haven’t we?

  LISA. (in a different, matter-of-fact voice) Anya is asking for you.

  KARL. (coming out of a kind of dream) Yes. Yes, of course. I’ll go to her.

  KARL crosses and exits down R. LISA stares after him in an attitude of despair.

  LISA. Karl. (She beats her hands on the sofa) Karl. Oh, Karl.

  LISA collapses miserably, her head in her hands, over the right arm of the sofa as the lights BLACK OUT and

  the CURTAIN falls.

  Scene II

  SCENE: The same. A fortnight later. Afternoon.

  When the CURTAIN rises, the lights come up. The right half of the double doors is open. ANYA is in her wheelchair C, with her work-table L of her. She is knitting. KARL is seated at the desk, making notes from various books. MRS. ROPER is dusting the shelves of the bookcase R. Her vacuum cleaner is below the sofa. LISA enters from her bedroom, comes into the room and picks up her handbag from the armchair. She is dressed ready for going out.

  ANYA. (vexedly; half crying) I’ve dropped another stitch. Two stitches. Oh, dear!

  LISA replaces her handbag on the armchair, leans over the work-table and takes the knitting.

  LISA. I’ll pick them up for you.

  ANYA. It’s no good my trying to knit. Look at my hands. They won’t keep still. It’s all hopeless.

  MRS. ROPER moves to R of the table RC and dusts the books on it.

  MRS. ROPER. Our life’s a vale of tears, they do say. Did you see that piece in the paper this morning? Two little girls drowned in a canal. Lovely children, they were. (She leaves the duster on the table RC, moves below the sofa, picks up the vacuum cleaner and moves towards the door down R) By the way, Miss Koletzky, we’re out of tea again.

  MRS. ROPER exits down R. LISA has sor
ted out the knitting and returns it to ANYA.

  LISA. There. That’s all right now.

  ANYA. Shall I ever get well again?

  MRS. ROPER re-enters down R, collects her duster on the table RC.

  (Wistfully and rather sweetly) I want so much to get well.

  MRS. ROPER. ’Course you will, dearie, of course you will. Never say die. (She dusts the chair L of the table RC) My Joyce’s eldest he has fits something shocking. Doctor says he’ll grow out of it, but I don’t know myself. (She crosses above the table RC to the door down R, giving an odd flick with the duster here and there) I’ll do the bedroom now, shall I? So that it’ll be ready for you when the doctor comes.

  LISA. If you please, Mrs. Roper.

  MRS. ROPER exits down R, leaving the door open.

  ANYA. You’d better go, Lisa, you’ll be late.

  LISA. (hesitating) If you would like me to stay . . .

  ANYA. No, of course I don’t want you to stay. Your friends are only here for one day. Of course you must see them. It’s bad enough to be a helpless invalid without feeling that you’re spoiling everybody else’s pleasure.

  MRS. ROPER, off, interrupts the calm with the sound of the vacuum cleaner and by singing an old music hall song in a raucous voice.

  KARL. Oh, please!

  LISA. (crossing to the door down R and calling) Mrs. Roper. Mrs. Roper.

  The vacuum and the singing stop.

  Do you mind? The Professor is trying to work.

  MRS. ROPER. (off) Sorry, miss.

  LISA crosses above ANYA to the armchair and picks up her handbag. She is rather amused at the incident, and KARL and ANYA join in. KARL fills his brief-case with papers and books.

  ANYA. Do you remember our little Mitzi?

  LISA. Ah, yes, Mitzi.

  ANYA. Such a nice, willing little maid. Always laughing and such pretty manners. She made good pastry, too.

  LISA. She did.

  KARL. (rising and picking up his brief-case) There now, I am all ready for my lecture.

  LISA. (moving to the doors up C) I’ll be back as soon as I can, Anya. Good-bye, Anya.

  ANYA. Enjoy yourself.

  LISA. Good-bye, Karl.

  KARL. Good-bye, Lisa.

  LISA exits up C to R.

  (He moves below the armchair) Someday, sweetheart, you will be well and strong. (He sits in the armchair and fastens his brief-case)

  ANYA. No, I shan’t. You talk to me as though I were a child or an imbecile. I’m ill. I’m very ill and I get worse and worse. You all pretend to be so bright and cheerful about it. You don’t know how irritating it is.

  KARL. (gently) I am sorry. Yes, I can see it must be very irritating sometimes.

  ANYA. And I irritate and weary you.

  KARL. Of course you don’t.

  ANYA. Oh, yes, I do. You’re so patient and so good, but really you must long for me to die and set you free.

  KARL. Anya, Anya, don’t say these things. You know they are not true.

  ANYA. Nobody ever thinks of me. Nobody ever considers me. It was the same when you lost your Chair at the university. Why did you have to take the Schultzes in?

  KARL. They were our friends, Anya.

  ANYA. You never really liked Schultz or agreed with his views. When he got into trouble with the police we should have avoided them altogether. It was the only safe thing to do.

  KARL. It was no fault of his wife and children, and they were left destitute. Somebody had to help them.

  ANYA. It need not have been us.

  KARL. But they were our friends, Anya. You can’t desert your friends when they are in trouble.

  ANYA. You can’t, I know that. But you didn’t think of me. The result of it was you were told to resign and we had to leave our home and our friends and come away to this cold, grey, horrible country.

  KARL. (rising, crossing and putting his brief-case on the left arm of the sofa) Come now, Anya, it’s not so bad.

  ANYA. Not for you, I dare say. They’ve given you a post at the university in London and it’s all the same to you, as long as you have books and your studies. But I’m ill.

  KARL. (crossing to R of ANYA) I know, dearest.

  ANYA. And I have no friends here. I lie alone day after day with no-one to speak to, nothing interesting to hear, no gossip. I knit and I drop the stitches.

  KARL. There now . . .

  ANYA. You don’t understand. You don’t understand anything. You can’t really care for me, or you would understand.

  KARL. Anya, Anya. (He kneels beside her)

  ANYA. You’re selfish, really, selfish and hard. You don’t care for anyone but yourself.

  KARL. My poor Anya.

  ANYA. It’s all very well to say “poor Anya.” Nobody really cares about me or thinks about me.

  KARL. (gently) I think about you. I remember when I saw you first. In your little jacket all gaily embroidered in wool. We went for a picnic up the mountain. Narcissus were out. You took off your shoes and walked through the long grass. Do you remember? Such pretty little shoes and such pretty little feet.

  ANYA. (with a sudden pleased smile) I always had small feet.

  KARL. The prettiest feet in the world. The prettiest girl. (He gently strokes her hair)

  ANYA. Now I’m faded and old and sick. No use to anybody.

  KARL. To me you are the same Anya. Always the same.

  The front door bell rings.

  (He rises) That’s Dr. Stoner, I expect. (He goes behind the wheelchair and straightens the cushions.)

  MRS. ROPER enters down R.

  MRS. ROPER. Shall I see who it is?

  MRS. ROPER exits up C to R. KARL goes to the desk, picks up a couple of pencils and puts them in his pocket. There is a sound of the front door opening and closing and voices off. MRS. ROPER enters up C from R. HELEN follows her on. She is carrying the two books which she borrowed.

  It’s a young lady to see you, sir. (She moves slowly down R)

  KARL moves up LC.

  HELEN. (moving to R of KARL) I’ve brought some of your books back. I thought you might be wanting them. (She stops on seeing ANYA and her face drops)

  KARL. (taking the books from HELEN and moving to L of ANYA) Dearest, you remember Miss Rollander?

  HELEN. (moving up R of ANYA) How are you, Mrs. Hendryk? I do hope you are feeling better.

  ANYA. I never feel better.

  HELEN. (devoid of feeling) I am sorry. (She goes above the table RC)

  The front door bell rings. KARL goes to the desk, puts the books down, then moves up C.

  KARL. That’ll be Dr. Stoner now.

  KARL exits up C to R. MRS. ROPER enters down R, carrying a wastepaper basket. She goes to the shelf below the bookcase R and empties an ashtray into the basket. HELEN glances idly through a book on the table RC.

  MRS. ROPER. I’ll finish the bedroom later. I’d better slip out for the tea before he shuts.

  KARL. (off) Hello, Doctor. Come in.

  DOCTOR. (off) Well, Karl, it’s a lovely day.

  KARL enters up C from R and stands L of the doorway. The DOCTOR follows him on.

  KARL. I’d like a word with you alone, Doctor.

  MRS. ROPER exits up C to L, leaving the door open.

  DOCTOR. Yes, of course. (He moves to L of ANYA) Well, Anya, it’s a lovely spring day.

  ANYA. Is it?

  KARL. (moving down C) Will you excuse us a moment? (He crosses below the sofa to the door down R)

  HELEN. (moving to R of the table RC) Yes, of course.

  DOCTOR. Good afternoon, Miss Rollander.

  HELEN. Good afternoon, Doctor.

  The DOCTOR crosses below KARL and exits down R. KARL follows him off, closing the door behind him. MRS. ROPER comes into the hall from L. She carries her coat and shopping bag. She leaves the bag in the hall, comes into the room and puts on her coat.

  MRS. ROPER. It’s too hot for the time of the year—

  HELEN moves around R of the sofa and sits on it at the
right end, takes a cigarette case from her handbag and lights a cigarette.

  —gets me in the joints it does when it’s like that. So stiff I was this morning I could hardly get out of bed. I’ll be right back with the tea, Mrs. Hendryk. Oh, and about the tea, I’ll get half a pound shall I?

  ANYA. If you like, if you like.

  MRS. ROPER. Ta-ta, so long.

  MRS. ROPER goes into the hall, collects her shopping bag and exits to R.

  ANYA. It is she who drinks the tea. She always says we need more tea, but we use hardly any. We drink coffee.

  HELEN. I suppose these women always pinch things, don’t they?

  ANYA. And they think we are foreigners and we shall not know.

  There is a pause. ANYA knits.

  I’m afraid it is very dull for you, Miss Rollander, with only me to talk to. Invalids are not very amusing company.

  HELEN rises, moves up R and looks at the books in the bookcase.

  HELEN. I really only came to bring back those books.

  ANYA. Karl has too many books. Look at this room—look at the books everywhere. Students come and borrow the books and read them and leave them about, and then take them away and lose them. It is maddening—quite maddening.

  HELEN. Can’t be much fun for you.

  ANYA. I wish I were dead.

  HELEN. (turning sharply to look at ANYA) Oh, you mustn’t say that.

  ANYA. But it’s true. I’m a nuisance and a bore to everybody. To my cousin, Lisa, and to my husband. Do you think it is nice to know one is a burden on people?

  HELEN. Do you? (She turns away to the bookcase)

  ANYA. I’d be better dead, much better dead. Sometimes I think I will end it all. It will be quite easy. Just a little overdose of my heart medicine and then everybody will be happy and free and I’d be at peace. Why should I go on suffering?

  HELEN crosses above the armchair to the desk and looks out of the window.

  HELEN. (bored and unsympathetic; with a sigh) Must be awful for you.

  ANYA. You don’t know, you can’t possibly understand. You’re young and good-looking and rich and have everything you want. And here am I, miserable, helpless, always suffering, and nobody cares. Nobody really cares.