by Amy Sumida
“I'm with you, Brother.”
“Yeah. Me too,” the first voice said. “The rest of you need to take care of that bullshit!”
Footsteps pounded away as I continued to ride my lover. I moved automatically, my body clawing its way toward climax while my mind spun into the song. That voice was so beautiful. So sexy. I moaned as my arousal rose. I needed him too. I've always needed him. Who was he, my King of Shadows? Images of deep space burst into my mind; enormous energy coalescing and merging. Coming together in pleasure even greater than this. Pleasure I'd never feel again. I sobbed for its loss. My lover's hands went to my hips and pulled me over him faster.
My love, wake up! Kyanite screeched. Hear my music, listen to your husband's words. Break free of this!
Come on, girl, they're all here. All of the men you love are watching you fuck Lucifer. Snap out of it, Slate's already gone gargoyle! They're all going to lose their shit! RS shouted.
Growling. The pound of fists and feet on iron bars. I clutched at Lucifer and came in screaming, clawing release. With that explosion of ecstasy, something else popped free in my mind. I went limp in Lucifer's arms as Darc's song ended.
“King of Shadow” by Katrina Cunningham; what a perfect choice for him. For us. It had given Darcraxis the power to both find me and draw out the poison that had been controlling me. But Lucifer was still under the sway of Bliss, and when my lovers came crashing through the cell door, and I tried to go to them, Lucifer snarled and held me tighter, his cock thrusting up into me savagely.
It all came back to me in vivid clarity. The things I'd said to Lucifer. The things I'd done with him. My mind whispered that I'd secretly wanted this; that this was my fault. I screamed, this time in horror, and tried to climb off Lucifer, but he growled and snatched me back. Hands grabbed me, yanked me away from Lucifer. I cried brokenly, jerking away from them as well and curling into a ball on the floor.
Lucifer launched to his knees and lurched for me. I cringed away, memories still blasting me, horror and shame and guilt and even physical pain wracking my body and sending it into uncontrollable shivers. Lucifer's hands clawed at the air before me as the men—my men, the men I'd betrayed—pulled him away. In slow motion, I saw Lucifer's eyes narrow on Torin and his hand fill with light.
“No!” I screamed and dove for Lucifer's waist.
Light flared around Torin even as I tackled Lucifer to the ground and the other men went sprawling. Lucifer dragged me beneath him and struggled to get back inside me even as I screamed for my husband, tears streaming down my face. Everyone else was shouting, focused on the cloud of light in shocked terror. I whimpered as Lucifer sank into me and started a steady rhythm, content once more.
Then the light faded and revealed Torin; still alive, still whole. I sobbed in relief over the sounds of sex, my head lolling back on the cement floor. Torin stared down at his chest in amazement, his hand lifting briefly to his sternum before his gaze shot to me.
“Elaria!” Torin started forward and the other men came with him.
Banning, teeth bared. Declan, hands lifted and filling with magic. Gage, eyes a furious green. Slate, fully shifted into his gargoyle form. And Darc, shadows gathering around him, preparing to strike.
“Stop!” I shouted at them even as I sobbed. “He'll kill you. Don't come any closer!”
“Little bird,” Torin was frozen with his hand outstretched, “I don't know what to do.”
“I'm so sorry,” I cried. “I'm so sorry.”
Snap the fuck out of it right now! RS shouted in my head. You need to end this! You, not them!
What do I sing? I asked them frantically. I need something that won't hurt Lucifer.
You still have your traveling stone, my love, Kyanite said gently. Take Lucifer to Angelus. To the Garden. It will be faster than a song.
“The Garden of Angelus,” I gasped.
I fought the urge to vomit as Lucifer continued to move inside me. He was a victim too; I had to remember that. I had to help him, not fight him. That thought centered me; calmed me.
“The Garden of Eden?” Gage asked. “Why?”
“The Tree of Life!” Darc declared. “Yes, go now, Elaria! We'll follow you.”
I clutched my traveling stone in one hand and held onto Lucifer with the other. “Hold onto me, Luke. I'm taking us to Angelus.”
Something flashed inside Lucifer's eyes, a brief awareness. He pulled me against his chest, and I took us through the Veil, our bodies still intimately connected.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
We reformed in the Garden of Angelus, in front of the Trees of Life and Knowledge at the center of a circular lawn bordered by a golden fence. The fence matched the metallic fruit that hung from both trees. The Tree of Knowledge bore oval, mango-shaped fruit, and the Tree of Life had fruit in the shape of apples. I needed to pick one of the golden apples of life for Lucifer, but he rolled me onto my back and held me down.
The cool, lush grass cushioned me and the scent of ripe fruit and blooming flowers revived me. My men would be there soon, and they could pick the fruit for us. I just needed to hold on a little longer. I had to push down the screams and fight the instinct to pull away from Lucifer. Just a few minutes more. Lucifer had been trying to save me; he had tried to resist this. This wasn't his fault, it was mine. All of this was on me. I cried silently as he kissed the column of my throat.
“Lucifer, we're on Angelus now,” I whispered brokenly. “We're in your garden. You need to eat the fruit from the Tree of Life. Please, try to focus.”
Lucifer lifted onto his forearms but instead of looking at the garden, he stared down at me and started thrusting faster. I searched his eyes and saw a tremor of sanity beneath the lust. He sensed that this would soon be over. I needed to sing; maybe I could calm him enough to see reason.
“Don't leave me, my vicious,” he whispered brokenly.
“I'm right here. I'm not leaving.” I held his face in my hands as the tears poured down my cheeks.
Lucifer groaned and lowered his face to kiss me. I told myself that I was doing this to help him, that it was just a kiss, and I'd be returning to my lovers soon, but I started to gag. The kiss felt like more of a betrayal than the sex had. I was in full awareness now, no Bliss controlling me. I couldn't do this. I eased out of the kiss and pushed him back. Lucifer started to protest and clutch at me, but when I turned over onto my hands and knees for him, he growled anxiously. With a victorious roar, Lucifer drove back into me, hands gripping my hips to pull me onto his thrusts. I braced myself and tried not to cry too violently. I hurt everywhere, especially inside. Without the drug, the pain overwhelmed the pleasure. Every thrust was like a sword running through me.
I knew I should sing, I should stop this horror, but it felt too much like justice. As if I were being punished for betraying the men who loved me. I deserved this. This was all my fault. I had wanted Lucifer and fate had given him to me. Now, I had to pay the price. My mind began to crack beneath those thoughts and thrusts. But I refused to let it break. I focused on the tree before me instead of the tide of insanity that threatened to rise. And that was when I realized that my men didn't know where the Garden was. They were probably standing at the Gates of Heaven, shouting for help.
This was up to me.
I took a shaking breath and blinked away my tears. It was just sex. We'd been doing this for hours, what was a few minutes more? I mentally shook myself and prepared. I had one chance to slip free of Lucifer and grab a fruit. As soon as he came, I'd sprint to the tree. Then this would all be over.
Sing, my love, Kyanite suggested. This isn't your fault. You don't deserve this. Sing!
He'll come soon, RS said. He's tensing for it. A song would take longer. Just hold on, Elaria.
Lucifer reached around to rub at my sex, and I sobbed as pleasure rose despite my disgust at myself and the pain in my body. No; I couldn't do this. I couldn't climax now. I didn't want this. Please, no. But my body betrayed me, tensing along w
ith Lucifer. Shivering up to a release.
I can't believe this is happening, Kyanite lamented.
She's alive and safe; that's the most important thing, RS snapped. Oh! Get ready, El. Here he comes.
Lucifer roared, and I clenched around him, screaming and sobbing into release just moments after him. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to scream and tear the hair from my head. But when Lucifer rolled to the side and laid panting in the grass, I pushed all of my emotions away and jumped to my feet.
“Elaria?” Lucifer whispered and reached for me.
I evaded his grip and ran to the Tree of Life. Within seconds, I had a fruit in hand and had returned to Lucifer.
“Eat this,” I said gently as I held the fruit to his lips.
“Elaria, what did we...” Lucifer's eyes went to the fruit and widened.
Like a snake, his head shot out and Lucifer bit the metallic flesh. He swallowed it whole, took another bite, and swallowed again, juice dripping down his chin. His head fell back and a tortured groan escaped his lips as the fruit did its work, weeding out the poison and healing his body. Lucifer shivered wildly as his skin plumped back to health and all signs of the damage we'd inflicted upon his body faded away. His cock rose proud and sleek, the flesh back to a pale pearl and still so wet. I looked away before I started screaming again. Then Lucifer inhaled sharply and sat up. I sat back with a relieved exhale.
“Eat.” Lucifer pushed the fruit into my hands. “You need this too, my vicious. Please, eat.”
I lifted the fruit with shaking hands and took a bite. The aches in my body disappeared nearly instantaneously. A glorious effervescence filled me, refreshing me from the hair follicles on my scalp down to the tips of my toes. I gasped in relief but then sagged forward and started to sob. Without the physical pain and the threat of insanity, my memories returned in full force. Lucifer's arms went around me, and he pulled me onto his lap.
“I'm so sorry, my dearest one,” he whispered in my ear. “I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to stop myself.”
It was too much. I couldn't take comfort from him. I pushed away with a sob that turned into a scream. I screamed and screamed and screamed as I clutched my arms around myself tightly and closed my eyes so I couldn't see his beautiful, stricken face.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
“Elaria, please, baby, eat something.”
Slate. He was back again. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't look at any of them. I had betrayed them all. I couldn't even tell them about Helene. I couldn't speak about any of it. They had to hear it from Kyanite and RS. I was grateful for them doing that for me, but not for their constant chatter in my head. I finally blocked them out with my light, just hid them beneath the brilliance as Lucifer had once done to them.
Lucifer.
I sobbed again and turned away from the tray of food Slate had put on the bed beside me. I don't know how long I'd been lying there. I wasn't crazy; I knew that much. The fruit from the Tree of Life had healed the wounds of my body and the trauma of my mind. It had saved me from insanity and pulled me back together again but it didn't erase the memories. Those stayed right there with me. Fresh. Vivid. The pleasure as sharp as the shame. It was almost worse to have that sweet buffer of madness taken from me. To have to face the horror of what I'd done with a rational mind. I knew then why the nymphs had screamed after they'd been healed. Insanity had been a relief. A way to pretend that nothing hurt. But a healthy mind saw everything clearly; felt every detail intimately. I could process the pain now, but that process was torture. It meant admitting the truth to myself.
I had seen it so clearly after I'd taken a bite of that fruit. The growing affection I had for Lucifer. The attraction. That last kiss in the hold of Philip's ship. I had so much love in my life, but I had still leaned toward Lucifer like a flower in the sun. I had craved his light. When Bliss had taken hold, I was given my wish; an excuse to have Lucifer. And I'd taken it. I'd let the drug have me so I could have him. That had to be the reason why I succumbed so easily to Bliss. I wanted it. I wanted Lucifer.
Not anymore.
Now, I realized my folly. Now, I saw the truth. I admired Lucifer, but I didn't love him. I should know the difference by now. I should know what was a true connection and what was only a passing fancy. I'd been a goddess. Still was partially. I had connected with Darcraxis in the most profound way imaginable and maybe that had something to do with my restlessness. Maybe I'd been craving that blending of souls so badly that when another god showed an interest in me, I couldn't help but be attracted to him. Or maybe I was just trying to make excuses for myself.
“Enough of this bullshit!” Slate growled as he got into bed with me.
I tried to move away from him, but he wrapped his arms around me and held me still. I sobbed and went limp, just lying loosely in his embrace.
“Do you know how much I love you, woman?” He snarled. “Do you realize how much you mean to all of us? When you went missing in France, and we discovered that you'd been taken, we killed every satyr Alexander Demos left behind. We tortured them mercilessly to get them to tell us where you were. But none of them knew. Darc even used Kyanite against them, but they couldn't tell us where Demos had taken you. So, we killed all of them, and then we tore that place apart looking for some clue, some way to find you.”
I moaned, trying to use the sound to block him out. I didn't want to be faced with their love; it made everything hurt more.
“No!” Slate shook me. “You will hear this, Elaria! The fury and frustration and plain fear that all of us felt were staggering. Neither Kyanite nor RS knew where you were; they'd been blocked by the drug. We were floundering. A group of powerful men broken by the loss of one woman. I brought that house down; I crumbled the stones into dust. And I would have torn down every Demos property there was until we found you.”
“No,” I whined and covered my face with my hands.
“Yes!” Slate pulled my hands away. “Yes, I would have, and I still would. I destroyed the place where they imprisoned you. When we followed you to Angelus, Cerberus and the Terrencals stayed behind. They killed every man there and when you were safe again, I went back and brought the building down. There isn't a single brick left whole. It's all gone, sweetheart; nothing left of that evil place to haunt you. And we've got you now. You're safe. I swear to you; I will end the Demos Family for what they did. I will bring their world crashing down around them. Whatever you need, baby. Tell me who to kill, tell me what to destroy, and I will do it. Just come back to us.”
“Go away,” I whispered. “Find someone who can be true to you. You deserve that.”
“Shut your damn mouth,” he snarled in my ear. “You did not betray me. You didn't betray any of us. You were drugged Elaria. RS told us everything. They gave you a double dose of Bliss. Twice the amount that turns a normal beneather into a sex-crazed lunatic. You didn't stand a chance. They stole your mind and your body. Between Darc's song and the fruit, you didn't have to go through withdrawals, and I'm damn thankful for that. Otherwise, you'd probably still be mindlessly fucking anyone who came near you. That's what it did to you; it made you mindless. You had no choice, sweetheart. None of us blame you for what happened.”
“No; I wasn't completely mindless,” I protested. “I knew who I was with. I knew what I was doing.”
“Maybe you did,” Slate agreed calmly. “But you couldn't stop yourself, could you?”
I whimpered.
“Little bird, this is not your fault.” Torin crouched beside the bed in front of me, his beautiful face filling my view.
“Torin,” I sobbed and held a hand out to him, “you could have died. Lucifer...” my voice broke on his name.
“Damn him back to Hell,” Declan hissed.
“It's not his fault either,” Torin said firmly over his shoulder before refocusing on me. “Neither of you are to blame for what happened. You were both victims.”
“I saw him hit you with his light.” I stroked Torin's shadowed c
heek.
How long had it been since he'd shaved? And there were hollows beneath his eyes. This was my fault too. I kept hurting them.
“The pendant saved me.” Torin smiled as he took my hand. “It absorbed the light and let itself be destroyed in place of me.”
“The pendant,” I whispered as it all played out in my head again; the light hitting Torin. The light fading. Him clutching at his chest. The chain dangling limply around his neck. Pendant gone.
“The stone was partially composed of Lucifer's light.” Darc stepped forward and knelt beside Torin. “We think that's why it was able to connect with the magic. Whatever it was, it saved Torin. You saved him, my fire.”
I started to cry again.
“Stop that,” Slate said it more gently this time.
“I'm so sorry,” I started repeating it like a mantra. “I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.”