Ryder Men of Clifton, Montana Book 5

by Susan Fisher-Davis

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, he was here for a few days, but then he left suddenly, for some reason he wouldn’t tell us why. But when I tried to press him for detail, he told me how he has always feared that he would become like that…that man who fathered him, but that recently he had come to understand that even though that man was his father, Frank was his dad. Frank was the one who taught him how to be a man. Frank was all he had needed in a real father.” Grace’s eyes were tearing up as she spoke. “I knew he would never be like that despicable father of his, and I told him that. I know deep in my heart that my Ryder would never cause intentional harm to any living being because he just doesn’t have that kind of mean in him. In all the years he lived with us, not once did he strike out, and trust me when I tell you that he was an angry and mistrusting young man back then. Something was pulling at him but he knows being the man he is today, he owes to Frank, and he told Frank that before leaving.”

  Kelsey had tears rolling down her cheeks. “He came to see me, Aunt Grace, and I sent him away.”

  “Oh my, so that’s the reason he came to visit when he said he wasn’t, and then left in such a hurry. Then, Kelsey dear, you need to go after him and tell him you were wrong and that you believe in him.”

  “I do believe in him. I just worry that he doesn’t believe in himself. After the way I treated him when he came all the way here for me, I doubt if he’ll take me back now.”

  “Of course he will. You need to go to him, Kelsey.” Grace placed her hand over Kelsey’s hand.

  Kelsey wondered if Grace was right. Had she caused him the same kind of pain she’d suffered through when he let her go? Perhaps he really did love her, but he had to believe that he would never hurt her or any child they may have. She looked at Grace. She thought about what she’d told her of his realizations. Suddenly, she nodded her head and stood. “You’re right. I’m going back to Clifton. I love him and that’s where I need to be—with Ryder.”

  Frank walked into the room carrying a tray containing a plate of decorated cookies, and three tumblers filled with eggnog. He raised his eyebrows in question. Grace smiled at him.

  “I think our goddaughter is going to become our daughter in-law.”

  Frank smiled and laughed, setting the tray on the coffee table. “I’d love nothing more!”

  When he reached out to hug her, Kelsey shook her head. “But what if he hates me now?” She flopped back down on the sofa.

  “Kelsey, you can’t give up on him. Ryder suffered that far too often growing up. The only people, who never gave up on him, other than Grace and me, are his friends in Clifton. That’s why they’re all so close. If you love him, go after him. Show him how you’ve got his back that you believe in him and his belief in himself will grow even stronger.” Frank smiled at her and he knew why Ryder was such an amazing man. He’d had the best role model ever.

  She nodded and pushed to her feet. “Well, there’s no time like the present. Oh my, speaking of which, please forgive me but I need to get moving if I want to spend Christmas with him, right?”

  Frank and Grace smiled and nodded their agreement. She hugged them both and ran out of the house. At the door, she called out, “I hope I can get a flight out. I love you both—Merry Christmas.”

  However, it wasn’t meant to be because all flights were booked. She had to wait until the day after Christmas but thankfully, her parents supported her decision to go.

  “If he doesn’t want to have kids, I’ll have to learn to live with it. I can survive without kids but I’m not sure I can live without him.”

  “I know, honey. Just know we’re here for you.” Her mother told her and knowing that made this a whole lot less scary.

  When the plane touched down in Butte, Kelsey felt her anticipation and fear starting to grow. She wasn’t thrilled about the wonderful bus ride ahead but it would give her more time to ready herself to face Ryder. What if he turned her away like she had him?

  Kelsey sighed as she took in the view from her bus window. It was like the first time she had flown to Montana and boarded the bus to Clifton. She stared out the window mesmerized by the beautiful mountains. They had nothing like it in Georgia. Not even Stone Mountain. This time it was snowing a little. She snickered. Of course, it was snowing…its December! Perhaps she needed to come back for a visit in summer and see this beautiful state when it wasn’t snowing. Visit? Oh, no…this was no visit. This was a coming home trip.

  She shook her head and squared her shoulders against the seat. She wasn’t leaving again. No matter what he said to her, no matter how he reacted to her showing up at Wolfe Ranch…she was not going anywhere this time. She chewed on her bottom lip. But what if he didn’t want her now? She’d been so rude to him the last time they saw each other. She’d told him she was done. Kelsey, how could you be so stupid? He came after you and you sent him away after telling him you were done with him.

  She choked back a sob.

  ****

  Ryder sat in the living room staring at the fire roaring in the fireplace. The warmth coming from it felt good yet didn’t lift his spirits leaving him still feeling chilled. Both of his dogs were lying at his feet and they hadn’t taken their eyes off him. It seemed they knew he was feeling low but didn’t know how to cheer him up.

  When his cell rang, he picked it up and looked at the screen. He sighed before answering it.

  “Hey, Sam.”

  “Ryder, are you all right? I’ve been trying to reach you for days,” Sam scolded him.

  “I’ve been busy. You know that.”

  He heard Sam sigh. He wished everyone would just leave him alone. He wasn’t going to do anything crazy, if that was what they all thought. He just wanted to be left alone. What was so hard to understand about that? Frank and Grace were upset that he hadn’t stayed with them for Christmas. It was a rare occasion for him to go to Georgia for Christmas, so when he’d been there last week, they’d been so happy, which made leaving without any real explanation made him feel like crap. It had to hurt them very much and they didn’t deserve that…especially not from him. Christmas was a joyous time of year, and he’d managed to ruin everyone else’s besides his own. He sure as hell wasn’t feeling any joy. All he felt was broken—heart broken. Beat down, and unwanted just as he had as a kid. He shook his head not wanting to go there.

  “What do you want, Sam?”

  “I just wanted to make sure you were all right. It’s what friends do, you jack-ass.”

  Ryder burst out laughing. Leave it to Sam to get him to laugh. He heard Sam chuckle. Ryder took a deep breath.

  “I’m fine. Why is everyone so worried about whether or not I’m all right?”

  “Because Kelsey’s gone, that’s why.”

  “So? Do you think I’m sitting around here moping about it?”

  “Probably not, but maybe you should be. You can’t tell me you’re not in love with her. I saw the way you looked at her.”

  “You’re crazy. I’m not in love with her. I wish everyone would mind their own business.”

  “Okay, my friend, but you can lie to yourself all you want. I know you’re in love with her.”

  “You don’t know anything. I’ll talk to you later, Sam.” Ryder hung up.

  Feeling agitated and annoyed, he stood and walked to the window. The snow was coming down heavier now. The weather station had stated it was going to snow all day and well into the next day—up to two feet possible before it stops. Kelsey would love it.

  Ryder needed to stop thinking about her, but even as he sat in the window seat and looked out at the landscape slowly coating over in white, he saw nothing. His mind kept rerunning that day when she told him to go away. He never believed he’d be in this situation. Hurting like this because of a woman. The pain was unbearable at times. He rubbed his chest over his heart. It didn’t help. Nothing was going to help. Unless Kelsey came back to him, nothing was going to help ease the hurt. He just had to learn to live without her.
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br />   ****

  Kelsey stared through the windshield barely able to see the road ahead of her. The wipers were starting to slow down due to ice accumulating on them.

  You’re an idiot, Kelsey Sullivan. You have to be crazy in love to do this! What are you thinking? He’s probably going to toss you off the ranch! Stupid! And this snow! This snow is ridiculous. It will probably kill you before he has a chance to reject you.

  It was bad enough that the roads had snow on them, but they were slippery as hell and it was so dark. Was it possible for dark to be darker than dark? The bus had dropped her off two hours ago and it had taken forever to rent the SUV. Although, she was very happy the car rental place had an SUV with four-wheel drive available. Of course, at the rate things were freezing, she wondered if the four-wheel drive was going to help at all. Nothing helped in ice, and with her lack of experience driving in what to her was a blizzard, she was lucky she was still alive. The snow and ice had turned a fifteen-minute trip into an hour-long trip from town, and she wasn’t there yet. She had to fight to keep the car centered in the tire tracks on the roads to gain any traction.

  Relief settled over her when she saw Ryder’s driveway reflected in the headlights ahead. She slowed the vehicle even more, steering into the heavy snow undisturbed in his driveway, and then stopped at the closed gate. Just wonderful!

  She stepped out of the vehicle to push the gate open but as soon as her feet hit the snow, she sank in—almost to her knees! She trudged through it, unhooked the gate, and started pushing it open. The only problem was that it was far more difficult to push due to the snow. She pushed at it a small amount at a time, the cold, damp, and exertion wearing her down. She tried pushing the snow away from the bottom of the gate with her gloved hands when it would get stuck and wouldn’t move. It only helped a bit because when she put both hands on it and pushed, it only moved a bit. She took a deep breath, leaned into with all she had and pushed with all her might. The gate moved, but it moved more than she’d anticipated and she ended up face down in the snow.

  Kelsey lay there in utter shock, and in exhaustion, for a few seconds. She pushed to her knees, and stood up. Snow covered the entire front of her, including in her hair and on her face. She brushed herself off best she could since her gloves were caked with snow as well. She gave the gate another hard push. Finally, it was almost open far enough to get the vehicle through. She cursed the snow and Ryder for putting her through this, and hoped one more good push would do it. She put her hands on the top of the gate and gave it a final push. It was open. She’d done it!

  Cold, wet, and in desperate want of a hot bath and bed, she trudged back to the SUV and climbed inside, knocking the snow off her legs and boots before closing the door. She drove it through the gate, and then stopped. Damn it! She remembered she had to close the gate. Double damn it! She stopped the vehicle and stepped out into the snow again. She started to push the gate closed and realized she hadn’t pulled the vehicle far enough forward for it to clear the back end.

  “Oh my God,” she screamed at the sky in frustration.

  She stomped back into the vehicle, climbed in with snowy feet, and pulled it up a little farther, and then she begrudgingly climbed back out into the snow and started to trudge back to the gate. She stopped and stared at the empty landscape blanketed in white around her.

  To hell with it. If he wanted it closed, he can come out in this shit and close it himself!

  Kelsey blew out a hot breath making steam in the cold air, turned and walked back to the vehicle. When she reached it, she laid her hand against the side to steady herself as she once more tried to knock clinging, caked on snow from her legs. Not realizing how icy the exterior of the SUV had become, her snow caked glove slipped, and once more, she found herself on the ground in the snow, this time on her back.

  Kelsey lay there in total disbelief. Suddenly, she started laughing. She was laughing so hard at the ridiculousness of her predicament that she had tears rolling down her face that would probably freeze if she didn’t stop.

  “Ryder Wolfe, your ass better be worth all this!” She pulled herself back to her feet, knocking some of the snow off her now sore ass, climbed into the vehicle, and gingerly drove the rest of the way up to the house. She steered the vehicle around to the back door where Ryder’s truck was parked too, and sat looking at the house.

  Well, this is it, she thought, time to fish or cut bait.

  Chapter Ten

  It was midnight, and Ryder was still sitting in the window seat staring out at the snow. He blinked a few times when he saw an SUV pull up thinking he was imagining it. Who in the hell would be out in this weather? Someone crazier than crazy, that’s for sure.

  He watched the snow coated vehicle push, and bounce, through the heavy snow before pulling around toward the back. He pushed off the seat, and hurried to the back door in the kitchen. Staring through the window in the door, his heart hit his stomach when he saw Kelsey climb out of the SUV. She stumbled a bit in the thick snow but maneuvered her way to the porch. He shook his head quickly, as if to clear away cobwebs of disbelief. He looked through the glass again. It was her. He opened the door just as she stepped onto the porch stomping the snow from her boots. She froze, lifted her face, and looked at him with wide eyes.

  He frowned at her, even as he pushed down a desire to grab her into his arms and kiss her. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to see you, you big lug. Now move out of my way and let me in before I freeze my ass off.” She pushed past him into the kitchen and almost instantly, the dogs greeted her. She patted both of the traitorous beasts but when Ryder called to them to move along, they did.

  He watched her as she pulled off wet gloves, dropping them on the table along with a knit hat, which revealed damp hair. She shrugged out of her coat, and when she glanced at him assuming he would take, she shook her head when he didn’t and hung it on the back of one of the chairs. She rubbed her hands together to warm them before bending slightly to unzip her boots and toe out them. It was then he noticed her jeans were wet.

  “Why are your jeans wet?”

  “Because I had to push that stupid gate of yours open, and I fell. Do you seriously need that thing? Anyone can open it and just come right in. By the way, I left it open. There was no way I was going to try to close the damn thing.”

  “You still haven’t said why you’re here,” he remarked even as he thought how much it hurt to look at her. He wanted to run his hands through that blonde hair, kiss those rosy cheeks, and carry her to his bed.

  “I did so. I said I came to see you.”

  He folded his arms across his chest, crossed his legs at the ankles leaning back against the counter before he cleared his throat, and frowned at her. “Okay. You saw me. Now you can leave.”

  “Don’t be nasty, Ryder.”

  “Why not, Kelsey? You were pretty good at it the last time we saw each other.” He felt an unwarranted sense of satisfaction when she winced.

  “You took me by surprise.”

  “Bullshit. Try again.”

  “All right. Damn it, you hurt me when you sent me away. When a woman tells a man she loves him, she expects to hear it back, not be told to leave.”

  “You know why I told you to leave.”

  “Yes, and then you show up and tell me you want me back.”

  “We’re getting nowhere here. Why are you here?” he growled at her. He knew his anger was brought on by his own refusal to acknowledge that he was happy to see her. He didn’t…couldn’t let her know how much she’d hurt him.

  “We need to talk…”

  Ryder threw his hands in the air and walked out of the kitchen. At this point, he didn’t care if she followed him or not. Bullshit! You care, you stubborn ass.

  He took a seat on the sofa and watched from under his lashes as she walked into the living room and moved to stand in front of the roaring fire with her back to him. Why was she here? She’d said they needed to talk. Why? About what
? Had something happened?

  “What’s going on? Is there something wrong?”

  She spun around and looked at him. She raised an eyebrow. “Wrong? What would be wrong?”

  Ryder ran his hand down his face. Christ! It was like pulling teeth with her.

  “Are you here because there’s something wrong?”

  “No, there’s nothing wrong. Well, that’s not completely true. There is something wrong—”

  He jumped up from his seat. “What? What’s wrong? Is it Mom or Dad?”

  “It’s me,” she said so softly that he could barely hear her, but he did hear her. He froze.

  “What’s wrong with you?”

  ****

  Kelsey walked over to him and put her hands on his chest. He tilted his head back a bit and glared down at her over the bridge of his nose. She saw his gaze wander all over her face until it settled on her lips.

  Testing to see just how annoyed he was that she was here, she provocatively ran her tongue along her bottom lip. She heard him hiss in a breath but then she let out a squeal when he grabbed her by her upper arms, and pulled her up against him. He pressed his nose against hers and their eyes met up close. His were filled with the annoyance she hoped wasn’t there.

  “I’ll ask you one more time before I throw you out of here. Why are you here?”

  “Let go of me,” she said in anger. He was so damned stubborn. He let go of her immediately. She straightened her sweater, and then peeked up at him from under her lashes. She knew he’d never hurt her despite his trying to prove he would.

  Then she knew he’d had enough of her games when he took her elbow in his very strong grip and led her through to the kitchen. Her stocking feet barely touched on the floor and she almost slipped a couple of times had his hand on her arm not been so tight as he pulled her along behind him. She tried pulling away from, even grabbed a doorframe at one point.

  “What are you doing, Ryder? Stop!”