“Throwing your ass out, just like I said I’d do if you didn’t tell me what’s wrong or why you’re here. I’ve had it!”
“All right! All right! I’ll tell you,” she shouted at him while she struggled for breath.
Ryder stopped. He released her, and stood back with his fists on his hips staring at her. She bent slightly feeling like she’d just run a mile.
“I’m here because…I love you, Ryder.” She raised her eyes to meet his on those last words.
“You said that already.”
“And what? It means so little too that you’re just going to throw me out? In this weather?”
“Yes.” Ryder nodded.
He nodded that gorgeous dark head of his but she didn’t believe him. He wouldn’t…would he? She looked at the floor to hide a smile. She glanced up at him and took a step closer to him. He narrowed his eyes at her and she pushed down the need to flinch. He wouldn’t hurt her. She was determined to prove that to him.
She put her hands on his waist. He didn’t move. She slowly ran her hands up his chest, that wonderful, solid chest she loved to rest her head on at night. She felt him tense under her hands as she snaked her arms around his neck. She clasped her fingers behind his neck. He glanced over her head in an attempt to ignore what she was doing to him but she wasn’t going to let him have his way. She sighed, cupped his face in her hands, and made him look at her.
“I love you, Ryder,” she whispered close to his lips.
“Like I said, you said that already. You told me that in Georgia and that you were done with me. Well, now I’m done. I don’t like to play games, and I don’t want some fickle woman who can’t make up her fucking mind.”
Kelsey gasped and stepped back. “Fickle? You think I’m fickle. You didn’t ask me to stay when I said I was leaving, but then you come to Georgia and tell me you want me to come home and you call me fickle. I think you need to look in the mirror to see who is really fickle, Ryder.” She punched his arm. “At least I can admit my feelings. You refuse to tell me that you love me.”
“Maybe because I don’t,” he said through clenched teeth.
Without thinking, only reacting to the pain of those words, Kelsey slapped him and immediately regretted it. “You son of a bitch.”
Ryder grasped her arms and pulled her against him. “You finally got that right.” Then he shoved her away. “Since the weather’s so bad, you can stay until they clear the roads but as soon as it’s possible, you’re out of here. I’m not doing this with you, Kelsey. One minute you want me, and the next you don’t. I’m too old to be playing fucking games with you. Go find yourself another married teacher to screw with so you can play the wounded victim.”
Kelsey couldn’t believe how cruel he was being. Maybe there was more of his father in him than she believed. She shuddered, placing the back of her hand over her mouth and shook her head as tears rolled down her face.
“I’ll leave now.” She turned away, grabbed her boots to put them on but he grabbed her arm and spun her around.
“No. You won’t. It’s too dangerous out.”
“I won’t stay here. I can get to Wyatt and Olivia’s place. I’m not staying here with you.”
“You won’t make it out of the driveway. Can’t you hear the ice hitting the windows? You’re staying whether you like it or not. In fact, we’ll sleep in the living room in case the power goes out.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “The hell I will. I know you have fuel in the generator by now. I’ll take a bedroom.”
“The fire will still keep you warmer, even with the generator.”
“I—”
“Stop! Your other choice is to sleep in that rental out there, in which case, you’ll probably freeze to death or in here where it’s warm so just do as I say. Go get blankets from the bedroom. If we make through the night without killing each other, I’ll take you myself to the bus station tomorrow if we can’t get your car out.”
They stared at each other for a few minutes before she dropped her boots, spun on her heel, walked down the hallway, and entered the bedroom they’d shared so many times and slammed the door behind her.
****
Ryder ran his hand down across his face, over his tense jaw, and swore. Damn her for coming back. He’d finally decided to go on without her and if she’d stayed away, maybe he could have done it. She should have stayed away. How was he going to get through the night with her sleeping a few feet away from him?
She was right about him having plenty of fuel in the generator but it was still smart to stay close to the fireplace. He’d already planned to sleep in the living room tonight since he stayed dressed in case there was an emergency with the horses but the thought of sleeping in the bed they’d shared held absolutely no appeal. Hell, he wished he could have a locked door between them, but he shouldn’t have said what he said. That was cruel. That was just the kind of vindictive and cruel thing his father would have said. Damn his father. Perhaps what he feared would happen would any way. Frank, Grace, and Kelsey all believed he wasn’t a cruel son of a bitch like his old man, but maybe he was. She came here because she believed in him, because she loved him, and he threw it in her face. He didn’t want her to love him. He didn’t deserve to be loved.
Ryder heard the bedroom door open, and sat back in his recliner. He watched Kelsey walk into the living room carrying blankets and a pillow. She tossed them onto the sofa and after making a makeshift bed, she crawled between the blankets.
He stood, moved to the fire, stoked the logs, and added some more wood to the fire before settling back in the recliner. A few minutes later, she stood and started unsnapping her jeans.
“What the hell are you doing?” Ryder hissed, feeling his body react to the sight.
“My jeans are soaking wet. I’m not sleeping in them.”
“It won’t work, you know.”
She stopped what she was doing and stared at him as if he’d just grown a second head. “What are you talking about?”
“If you think by stripping off your jeans in front of me will change my mind, don’t waste your time.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Ryder Wolfe. I’m soaked and cold.”
“Fine. Hurry the hell up then,” he growled looking toward the fire and gritting his teeth.
He heard Kelsey chuckle. When he glanced at her, she smiled at him. “Bothers you, doesn’t it? Why? You always liked watching me take my jeans off before.”
“How about I take mine off and we share the sofa.”
“You wish, Wolfe,” she muttered as she tugged at the damp fabric.
Ryder grumbled under his breath, “That I do, darlin’. That I do.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her strip the jeans off, get back under the covers, and pull them over her head. Ryder watched her there, the covers rising and falling with her every breath. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Damn, he wanted her. He felt his dick pushing against his jeans. He shifted to get more comfortable but it wasn’t easy, not with his cock remembering the feel of her pulsing around him.
Son of a bitch! He had to concentrate on something else. Thinking about her naked and under him was killing him. Christ! He wanted to be inside her and feel her clench around his dick. He couldn’t give in now. If he did, he knew he’d beg her to stay. And then what? What could he give her? More of what he gave her tonight.
He shifted in the chair to try to get comfortable, but nothing was working. He glared at her but it didn’t do any good since she had turned on the sofa and now lay with her back to him. Damn her. She needed to go as soon as she could. She shouldn’t have bothered coming here. True, he’d insisted she leave but when he went after her, she played this stupid game of hard to get. Either she wanted him or she didn’t. She’d made it very clear in Georgia that she didn’t but then she came back. He didn’t understand what she wanted and he had no idea what he could give her so it was best she just leave, and as soon as possible before his dick made him do
something stupid.
He glanced over at her and so wanted to do something stupid.
Ryder toed his boots off and raised the footrest on the chair, settling in. He needed some sleep.
****
Stretching against the back of the sofa, Kelsey slowly opened her eyes blinking against the bright sunlight streaming through the window, and gazed around the room. Ryder was nowhere around. She pushed the blanket off, sat up, and ran her fingers through the tangles in her hair. Her suitcases were sitting beside the sofa. Seeing them there, hope sprang in her heart. Had he brought them in because he wanted her to stay? Why hadn’t he put them in the room then? Because you wouldn’t have seen them there, dummy!
She dragged one close and opened it, pulled out a clean pair of jeans, and put them on before heading for the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.
The door flew open and Ryder walked in. Her heart nearly stopped just looking at him. He came to a halt when he saw her.
“You’ll have to stay here again tonight,” he told her before moving toward the coat hooks.
So much for wanting her to stay permanently.
She watched as he removed his gloves and coat. He took his hat off, and then hung everything up. He walked to the coffee pot, poured himself a cup, leaned back against the counter, and then just stared at her.
“I don’t want to stay here again,” she said folding her arm across her chest, which pushed her breast upwards and when his eyes dropped to her chest, she dropped her arms to her sides.
“That’s too damn bad. The roads are still too bad. It’s supposed to stop later today so hopefully you can leave tomorrow.”
“You know how to make someone feel real welcome, Wolfe.”
Ryder smirked. “You shouldn’t have come here in the first place.”
“Yeah, well, I’m here and so you just have to suck it up.” She folded her arms across her chest again, not caring how she looked.
“Damn it, Kelsey. Why in the hell did you come back here? I had finally decided I was better off without you.”
“I told you why I came back. How many times do I have to say it?”
“You should have thought of that when I asked you to come home.”
“You hurt me, Ryder. You told me to go away.”
“I thought it was best at the time.”
“So…you don’t now?”
“Oh, I still do, and you’re leaving as soon as you can. I’m not going to do this with you again.”
“Do what? Could you just spit it out? I made a mistake. I should have come home when you asked me to. I can admit that so why can’t you accept it.”
“And then what happens when you decide you made another mistake by coming back?” He shook his head. “No. I’m not going through this shit again. Your home is in Georgia.”
She walked toward him but he moved backwards until he was standing near the coat rack. She stepped closer until she stood in front of him, so close she could feel the heat of his body. “You’re wrong. You’re wrong about it all, and my home is wherever you are.”
“Don’t.” He put his hands up as if to ward her off.
“Don’t what, Ryder? Touch you? Kiss you? Tell you that I love you?” She placed her hands on his chest.
“Kelsey, I mean it.” He lifted his chin so that he broke eye contact.
“Do you really?” She stood on her toes and kissed his neck.
Ryder shuddered and grasped her arms in his hands. Just when she thought he was going to push her away, he pulled her tight against him and took her mouth in a deep kiss. She moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck. He bent his knees, and placed his hands under her butt and lifted her. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pushed her back against the wall. When he rubbed his crotch against her, she could feel his hard shaft already eager for her. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t deny his want of her. She groaned as he moved against her. He dropped her legs, and allowed her to slide down the front of him. Once her feet were on the floor again, he stepped back from her, making her whimper.
“Ryder, please,” she whispered in a ragged voice.
Thinking he was walking away, Ryder surprised her when his hand reached out and he unsnapped her jeans, pushed them down, along with her panties, and stripped them off her. He dropped to his knees in front of her and raised one of her legs over his shoulder. Kelsey started shaking in anticipation. When his tongue moved through her curls, she gasped and grabbed fistfuls of his hair. Her head tilted back against the wall as he worked his magic. When he inserted his fingers, she felt her orgasm moving over her and soon a low groan tore from her and erupted into a scream as she came.
As she stood there trying to catch her breath and her body trembling in the aftermath of her pleasure, he stood, rolled on a condom, and with one hard thrust, filled her body. She wrapped her legs around him, grabbed his shoulders for support, and bucked her hips against him. He slammed into her, the wall behind her making it easier for him to support her. She couldn’t believe it when another orgasm ripped through her so quickly. Then she felt his entire body tense as he thrust into hard before hearing him groan as he came. He continued to move against her a few thrusts more until he finally leaned his forehead against hers, his breathing harsh and ragged.
“God, that was fantastic,” she said against his ear but his shoulders flinched, he withdrew, and let her feet drop to the floor.
“Fuck,” Ryder muttered in an angry tone as he pulled away from her, disposed of the condom, and zipped his jeans.
“What?” Here we go again! She’d come to recognize when Ryder started to shut down. Why was he so afraid to let her in?
“That shouldn’t have happened.”
“We’re good together, Ryder, and you know it.” She couldn’t keep the hurt from her voice.
“I don’t deny that, but it still shouldn’t have happened. You’re leaving and that’s the end of it.” Without looking at her, he walked away from her.
“I hate you,” she shouted at him.
Ryder spun around and glared at her. “Good. That’s better than loving me. I’m used to hate. I can handle hate.” He stared at her for a few seconds, and then turned away. “I have work to do. I brought your suitcases in so you would have clean clothes. You can stay in the spare bedroom until you leave.”
Kelsey watched as he grabbed his coat and hat before disappearing out the back door. When the door slammed shut, she fell to the floor and cried.
****
Ryder trudged through the snow, swearing the entire time. What the fuck were you thinking? Thinking with your dick is what you were doing. How had he allowed himself to give into his desire for her yet again? It was like he couldn’t think clear around her. He just wanted to touch her, kiss her, and bury himself in her without any regard for the consequences. Why did she come back here? Despite what Frank and Grace believe, he still had a hard time believing he can be any different from his old man. If he couldn’t believe it, how could Kelsey? How could anyone?
He was so mad at what he’d done, what he’d given into that he wanted to punch a hole in a wall. He pulled the barn door open and entered the one place he’d always felt most comfortable…other than in Kelsey’s arms. Damn. The smell of his horses usually made him feel good, but not today. Today, the woman he’d left half-naked in his house was on his mind. Damn her for coming back here. He would have been fine without her—eventually. He stopped, and leaning against one of the stalls, he rubbed his hand down his face. You just had to fuck her, didn’t you?
The horse in the stall nuzzled his nose against Ryder making him sigh. He rubbed the mare’s neck with his gloved hand. Life had been so simple before Kelsey Sullivan came into his life. He was content living alone. He’d been on his own for so long that it he was resolved that it was how it would always be, but then she had to walk into Dewey’s and make him realize that being alone wasn’t what he wanted at all. He’d missed her…every damn minute she was gone.
He pushed off
the stall and headed for Tramp’s stall. He needed air. After putting the blanket and saddle on the horse, he mounted Tramp and rode him out of the barn. In the yard, puffs of cold air rose from the horse’s nostrils, and he pranced around, ready to run. It looked like they both needed some air. Ryder let him go. Tramp took off through the snow and headed toward the north pasture. The exhilaration cleared his lungs, and he hoped his brain because he had been thinking too much lately. Once they reached the north pasture, he slowed Tramp down to a trot.
Ryder rode along the fence line. There wasn’t any reason to check the fence because he had a transmitter that ran to the house and signaled if a section of it were to go down. He just couldn’t be in the house with her any longer. He shouldn’t have touched Kelsey. Ever. If he had never touched her in the first place, he wouldn’t be feeling like this. His damn heart hadn’t pained him this much since he left home. He didn’t deserve to have Kelsey love him. Hell, his own parents didn’t love him, why should she. Who said love was great? It hurt like hell.
He shook his head and slowed Tramp to stop. The horse snorted and blew steam into the cold air. He looked down toward the house. She was there. Why couldn’t he just be happy that she was? His friends were all happy. The Stone brothers were all happily married. The women they were married to were perfect for them. Gabe’s daughter, Sophie, was the most precious little girl out there and Will, Jake’s little boy was so adorable.
In all his life, he’d never wanted that because he thought he couldn’t have it. Until lately…until Kelsey came into his life, but he pushed her away when she tried to believe in him. Then even though he’d hurt her, she’d changed her mind and came back. Could she truly see the good in him or was she just going to change her mind again and leave. What if he were to lose his temper and prove without a doubt that he was as much a monster as his father.
Ryder was man enough to admit he was scared to death. Scared that Kelsey would stay, scared that she would leave, and terrified that he would lose her forever, or worse drive her away. She’d left because he wouldn’t let her believe in him, but when he went to Georgia, to bring her back, she had to have known how hard that was for him. That should have shown her just how much he wanted her. He still wasn’t sure if he could make a life with her, or give her children, but he had been willing to try. When she told him she was done, he had died inside. He came home a broken man but now she was back.
Ryder Men of Clifton, Montana Book 5 Page 14