“She wouldn’t have been happy here and would have left me sooner or later. I just made her go sooner.”
“Is that what you think? Did you even ask her?”
“Christ, Cookie. Do you think she’d really admit she’d had no plans to stay for good? That she’d change her mind eventually?”
“Well, I see your point, and Ryder, that’s the chance we all take with love, but that girlie loves you and you love her. Seems to me, you’d be much happier if you two were together, not apart.”
“Who said I love her?” Ryder growled.
Cookie chuckled. “You.”
“I sure as hell did not.”
“Not in so many words, but look at you. You can hardly concentrate on what you’re doing and I saw you this morning when she left. You didn’t think anyone was around, but I was. I saw how you kept looking at the door. Like you were trying to decide whether to go after her or not. I may be old, but I know what a man looks like when he’s in love and you, Ryder, are in love.”
Ryder shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”
“You can lie to yourself all you want, but don’t try that shit with me. Why do you want to be miserable?”
“How miserable do you think I’d be if she stayed letting me believe she loved me, and then one day, she leaves?”
“Damn son, no one knows the future and you can’t dwell on something that may never happen.” Cookie sighed. “You deserve some happiness in your life, Ryder. I know you have great friends and you have Frank and Grace, but you need that girl. If you can’t see that, then I feel sorry for you.” He stared at him for few seconds then shook his head, and walked away.
Ryder knew no one could understand his way of thinking. He’d grown up with two people who wanted nothing more than their next drink. Two people who never gave a damn about him. Who never loved him—their own kid. It was hard for him to trust. He only trusted his friends, Cookie, Grace, and Frank. It was hard to let someone in, and Kelsey had already pushed him away once so what was going to keep her from doing it again. She told him that she trusted him never to hurt her or anyone, but when he went after her, asking her to come home with him, she’d rejected him. How can he trust someone who hasn’t earned it? Shit! He leaned the rake against the wall and wandered out into the center aisle of the barn. There was much more work to be had, and he planned to work as hard as he could today and maybe, just maybe, he’d sleep tonight.
****
Kelsey sat on the window seat of the B and B with her legs curled beneath her, and stared out the window. When she saw an SUV coming up the drive, she smiled with delight that it was Olivia driving it. She hopped of the seat, and hurried to the kitchen. She opened the door, a blast of cold air hitting her and waited anxiously for her friend to enter.
“Hey, Liv, what are you doing out in this cold weather?”
“It is fucking colder than a brass monkey’s balls, isn’t it?” Olivia exclaimed with a laugh as she took her coat off.
Kelsey stared at her, a bit shocked but then burst out laughing. “I was warned about that potty mouth of yours. Glad to experience it firsthand.”
Olivia laughed. “Sometimes I may need a filter.” Then she shrugged. “I’m just me,” she said with a smile.
Kelsey hugged her. “I wouldn’t have you any other way, and I barely know you. I’m sure Wyatt doesn’t mind either.”
“Wyatt Stone can kiss my ass…literally.” Olivia laughed.
Kelsey laughed with her. “I’m not going there. You’re a lucky woman. That’s some good looking husband, you’ve got there.”
Olivia sighed. “Yes, I am, and yes, he is. I fell for him the minute I set eyes on that brooding stubborn cowboy.”
“Did he feel the same?”
“He tells me he did, now but back then, he fought it every inch of the way. We just got married in June, so we’re still honeymooning…but enough about me. What’s going on with you and Ryder?”
“Nothing, absolutely nothing. He told me to leave so I did.” Kelsey could feel the tears threatening again so she avoided meeting Olivia’s stare.
“I was under the impression at Thanksgiving that you two were an item. I mean, we saw him kiss you.” Olivia frowned at her and took Kelsey’s hand in hers. She pulled her to a seat at the kitchen table.
“Can I get you something? Coffee?” Kelsey tried to draw the subject away from her doomed love life.
“I’m good. Come on, you can tell me. I’ve been there with these Montana cowboys. I thought for sure you’d caught yourself one,” Olivia said pulling Kelsey back into her seat.
“We were…getting along, but then he started this shit about not settling down. He doesn’t want to get married, or have kids, because he’s afraid he will be like his abusive, deadbeat father. We had a huge argument and I told him I loved him but he just got angrier and told me not to say that to him. Then he told me I had to go home where I belonged. I told him he would regret sending someone like me away but...” She took a deep breath. “He came to see me in Atlanta just before Christmas, and I was so upset with him that I told him I was done with him. Grace told me he’d begun to believe he wouldn’t be like his father after all because of her and Frank. So, I came back here to tell him I did want him and this time he tells me he’s done with me. He accused me of playing games, deserving better and that if I stayed, I would change my mind about him.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“I’ve been giving this some thought and I’m beginning to think he’s afraid I can’t really love him and that I’ll eventually think he will be like his abusive father, and then I won’t be happy. It’s hard to explain, but I really think that’s what it is.” She shook her head.
“I left early this morning, without saying good-bye. I didn’t think I could do it. I was leaving, going home to George but as I was passing Emma’s, I realized I don’t want to leave Clifton. I really love it here and if it’s the only way I can be close to him, then so be it. I’m staying. Becca offered me the apartment here, which I’m so grateful for, and I’m going to see about getting a job at the hospital. Then eventually, I’ll get my own place.”
“Good for you. Listen, Kelsey, don’t give up on the man you love. I was ready to leave here because Wyatt didn’t want to do the commitment thing either and I did. I was packed and ready to go but Becca suggested I stop at his house to see if I missed anything. It seemed she and Wyatt set it up that way, and so once there, Wyatt told me he loved me and wanted me to stay. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I’d gone, if I’d given up on him. He’s my world.”
“I can see how much he loves you, Liv. In fact, all of you have husbands who love you so much. I want that too, Liv. I want it with Ryder and I’m going to do my best to have it. I came here because I needed his protection, but I fell in love with him instead.”
“I never wanted a cowboy.” Olivia laughed. “But when I saw Wyatt, I was a goner. I teased Becca when she first came here that cowboys were nasty. Oh boy, was I ever wrong.”
“I’ve always had a thing for cowboys so when I first saw Ryder in that Stetson, I wanted to jump his bones.”
“Same here with Wyatt. Becca and I were in the feed store talking with Emma when he came into the store. Becca elbowed me, nodded toward him, and I wanted to lick him all over. I told Becca that when she first introduced me to him, I nearly had an orgasm looking into those dreamy dark eyes.”
Kelsey laughed and nodded. “Those dark eyes are definitely gorgeous. I love Ryder’s green ones best though.”
“Ryder is hot, honey. Don’t let him slip through your fingers.” Olivia grabbed both of Kelsey’s hands in hers. “Fight for him, and that means even if you’re fighting with him. He loves you. I could see it at Thanksgiving. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you all day. You’re just going to have to convince him of it.”
“I am going to fight, Liv. I love him, and if I lose, well then at least I gave it a shot.” Kelsey sighed, feeling more confident
in her decision to stay in Clifton. “How about some coffee now?”
When Olivia nodded, Kelsey set about making a pot and wondering how she could fight for Ryder without it being too obvious to him.
Chapter Twelve
January descended on Clifton with what felt like a vengeance. It was below zero at night and didn’t get much warmer during the day, plus there was sleet, and more snow every day for the first week. Ryder hated the idea of just walking to the barn. He kept the horses inside because of the frigid temperatures and they were not happy about it at all. Today, he was letting them run inside the indoor corral. It was in no way close to the freedom they experienced in the pastures, but it was better than nothing. At least they had room to run and get some exercise. He stood at the wooden rail and laid his arms across the top of it. Watching the horses prance and trot around the corral reminded that he needed to head to town to get some oats. Groaning at the thought of making the trip in the cold, he moved from the rail and walked through the barn. He slowed to a stop when he saw Cookie walking toward him.
“Are you going to town or do you want me to go?” Cookie asked him.
“I’ll go. I just hope the roads are clear. I hate this damn ice.”
“Okay, be careful, boss. Give me a call if you have any problems.” Ryder watched Cookie walk away. It would’ve been nice if he’d put up a bit more argument.
Ryder pulled his hat down low and the collar up high on his sheepskin coat before heading out to his truck. He put his head down so the icy sleet wouldn’t hit him in the face. He climbed into his truck and started it up. With temperatures the way they were, relief settled over him that the engine turned over at all. After putting it in gear, he maneuvered the truck down the driveway, glad the gate was already open. He drove through, out onto the road and headed toward town.
When he was alone like this, his thoughts always seemed to go to Kelsey. He wondered what she was doing. Was she back working at the hospital? Was she involved with someone else now? Christ, the thought of her with another man just about killed him. Suddenly, the back of end of the truck fishtailed slightly on the icy road, so he slowed down and concentrated on staying alive and on the road.
After getting the feed he needed, he decided to stop at the diner and get some lunch to go. He parked in front, carefully maneuvered the slippery parking lot, and entered the diner. The little bell above the door announced his arrival, and a few heads turned followed by a few greetings. He took a seat at the counter, and nodded to everyone who said hi or waved at him. His eyes scanned the diner and as he glanced around, his gaze quickly shifted back to the blonde haired woman in the back booth. Surely, he was just imagining things. It couldn’t be Kelsey but as he sat there staring at her, he knew it was her. He stood and weaved his way through the tables to get to her. He stopped at her table and clenched his jaw while balling his fists even as he wanted to pull her into his arms and stared down at her.
“What the hell are you doing here, Kelsey?” he muttered.
She glanced up at him and blinked. “Having lunch.” She stabbed her salad with her fork.
“I don’t mean here in the diner and you know it. Why are you still in Clifton?”
“Excuse me, but I don’t believe it’s any of your business why I’m here. I can live wherever I choose, and I choose Clifton.”
Ryder continued to glare at her. “Why?”
“Why? Because, I happen to love this town and the people in it.”
“What about your job?”
“I have a job, here at the hospital.”
“You’re working at the Clifton County Hospital?”
“Is there another one?”
“Jesus, you’re being a real smart ass.” He slid into the booth across from her.
“I don’t recall asking you to join me, Ryder.”
He leaned across the table. “Tough shit. If you think by staying in Clifton, you’re going to change my mind, think again.”
“It has nothing to do with you. I love it here and I’m staying. Now, go away. I’m expecting someone.”
“Who?” Her blue eyes met his, and jealousy ripped through his gut.
“None of your business.”
Ryder started to ask her again when a woman’s voice greeted Kelsey from beside him. He started to rise.
“Don’t bother getting up on my account, Ryder.”
Ryder looked up to see Lydia Carmichael standing beside the booth. “Hello, Lydia.”
“Hi. You can stay if you want. Well, if Kelsey doesn’t mind, that is.” Lydia Carmichael was a statuesque brunette with dark brown eyes and flawless skin. She was a stunning woman who did absolutely nothing for Ryder but it didn’t matter since she was seeing Sam.
“I do mind. Go away, Wolfe.” Kelsey’s eyes narrowed at him.
Ryder blew out a breath and stood. “Have a nice lunch then.”
He touched his fingers to his hat and nodded to both women before walking back to the counter. Connie, the owner of the diner had his lunch waiting for him in a Styrofoam container. He paid for his lunch and after one more glance toward Kelsey, he left the diner. She never looked up at him again.
Damn. Why was she here? He shook his head. It hurt to see her, hear her voice, and not being able to hold her. This was going to be hard on him if she lived in Clifton, and she obviously planned to because she was talking with Lydia, who was a real estate agent and dealt in buying, selling, and renting properties.
Of course, they could live in the small town and never see each other. After all, he rarely left his ranch unless he came to town for feed or for meetings or the occasional dance at the Town Hall, or a few drinks at Dewey’s. The chances of running into her were slim and if he did see her, he’d just steer clear. He walked to his truck and was about to climb in, when he saw Sam crossing the street and heading toward him. Ryder leaned against the fender of the truck and folded his arms.
“Hey, Sam.”
“Ryder. Did you get one of Connie’s burgers?” Sam said with a smile.
“Oh hell yes. I can’t come into town and not get one. Hell, I’d run away with her if she’d have me.”
Sam chuckled. “She’s a little older than you.”
“The burgers are worth it. That woman can sure cook. Speaking of women, I just saw Lydia.”
Sam’s eyebrows rose and glanced around. “Where?”
“Inside the diner. Having lunch with Kelsey.” Ryder watched for Sam’s reaction.
“Kelsey? I thought she left. Is she staying with you?”
“Nope, and I have no idea where she’s staying. She said she’s working at the hospital and I suppose she’s talking with Lydia to find a place to live.”
“Lydia told me she was meeting with someone, which is why she couldn’t have lunch with me.”
Ryder grinned, wondering if his friend was suffering a woman the way he was. “Are you going to marry that woman, Sam?”
Sam’s eyes narrowed as he stared him. “I don’t think that’s any of your business but since we’re friends, I’ll tell you. No. I’m not going to marry her.”
“Why not? You two have been seeing each other for quite a while now.”
Sam shrugged and tucked his hands into his pockets. “I like her, don’t get me wrong. But something’s missing and I don’t know what it is.”
“Well, seems to me, if something’s missing then she’s not the right one. A real shame too. She’s a beautiful woman.”
Sam nodded. “I agree. Oh hey, I heard from Riley last night.”
Ryder smiled, the thought of his friend lifting his spirits. “How is he? I miss seeing him.”
“He’s doing great. Just sold another house. Rich bastard,” Sam growled.
“He’s done well for himself, that’s for sure.” Ryder’s eyes strayed toward the diner in time to see Kelsey walk out of the door with Lydia.
“You’re in love with her,” Sam said, the words, more an accusation, than question.
“No. I’m not. I l
ike her, and I missed her when she left…but love? No.”
“Keep telling yourself that, my friend, just keep telling yourself that,” Sam murmured as he slapped Ryder on the shoulder with his gloved hand.
Lydia gave him and Sam a little wave, and then both women climbed into her car. Kelsey ignored them both. Ryder watched them drive away. He knew they were going to see some property for Kelsey. Shit! Clifton sure as hell would never be the same.
****
Kelsey resisted looking at Ryder as she followed Lydia to her car. Her heart had nearly stopped when he stepped up alongside her table in the diner. It was all she could do to keep from throwing herself into his arms and begging him to let her come home with him. She’d never been happier to see anyone, as she was Lydia. She arrived at just the right moment because she knew Ryder wasn’t going to stop asking her why she was still in Clifton. Her plan was to stay cool, and let Ryder come to her. She hoped he would eventually come to her anyway.
They got into Lydia’s car and as the car pulled out the parking spot, she forced herself not to look but she could almost feel Ryder’s eyes following the car as Lydia drove away. Giving into temptation, she glanced in the side view mirror to see Ryder set his hands on his hips. He was watching, which made her smile with satisfaction.
Lydia drove them to a small house she’d told her was for rent. When they pulled up in front of it, Kelsey mentally groaned. Even with all the snow piled up around it, she could see it needed a lot of work. She nibbled on her bottom lip as she stared at it.
“I know it needs a lot of yard work, but the inside is great. I know a few teenagers who would do the outside work for you in the spring. Come on, let’s go in. It might surprise you,” Lydia said opening her car door.
Kelsey climbed out the car and stood looking at the house for a moment. It’s only temporary if I can convince Ryder to let me come home. Together, they trudged through the snow to the porch and Kelsey watched as Lydia opened a lockbox to retrieve a key. She gave Kelsey a smile and opened the door.
Kelsey stepped inside and let out a gasp. It might not have looked like much from the outside but inside…it was beautiful. A large living room with a stone fireplace and wood-beamed ceilings greeted her. Three sets of French doors were across the back, facing out to a small fenced in yard.
Ryder Men of Clifton, Montana Book 5 Page 16