Ryder Men of Clifton, Montana Book 5

by Susan Fisher-Davis

  “Well, it looks like they’re throwing you out and the doc says you need someone with you. Hell, I don’t even know where you’re staying. Hotel? Where? It doesn’t matter because we’re not going to take any chances. If the doctor prescribes, you should be with someone then that’s what you’re going to do. You can stay in the spare bedroom…again.”

  “I’m currently staying at the B and B. Thank you, Ryder.”

  “Okay. Good. I’ll go bring the truck around.” He stared at her for a very long moment, and then headed for the door.

  A nurse came in as he was going out, and Kelsey noticed how her gaze traveled over every inch of him as he left. She turned to face Kelsey.

  “Damn, that man is fine.” She laughed as she approached the bed. “You are one lucky gal.”

  Kelsey laughed. “I totally agree.”

  “You’re going to stay with him?” At Kelsey’s nod, the nurse fanned herself. “Maybe I need to have a concussion so I can stay with him. He’s one truly fine lookin’ man.”

  Kelsey knew the nurse didn’t mean anything by it but she found herself wanting to seriously slap her, and tell her to back the fuck off. Ryder was hers even if she wasn’t his because she wasn’t done fighting for him yet. She signed a couple of pages on a clipboard the nurse handed her, and wondered how in the world was she going to spend the night under the same roof as him without wanting him to make love to her. Of course, with more snow coming, she may be there longer than he expected, and although it was going to be hard to be close to him and not throw herself at him, she might be able to use this to her advantage. She loved him so much, and her fight had just begun.

  After going over the post-release papers, and tucking the instructions and prescriptions into her purse, she changed into her clothes, and waited for the wheelchair.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ryder drove the truck up to the entranceway and waited. What are you doing? He’d asked himself that question at least a half-dozen times, Once as he standing there in her hospital room, again on the way to the elevator, once more in the elevator, and again as he walked to the exit. Yes, at least a half-dozen times because he asked himself that same question on the way to the truck, and again after he climbed in. So now, he’d asked it for the seventh time, but the answer was still the same. She has to go somewhere so why not the ranch?

  The hum of the truck, and whir of the fan warming the cab settled him. This was his opportunity to convince her to stay. Of course, he still wasn’t sure if he deserved her staying but he knew after this night that he didn’t want her anywhere else. It was his job to protect her. Frank had given him that responsibility, and damn, if he wasn’t going to continue to take care of her. He’d slipped up big time already, and look what happened, she nearly got killed. True, if he convinced her to stay, and if he couldn’t make her happy, and she left, it would probably drive him over the edge. Would he turn into his old man then? What if she no longer wanted to stay? What if she realized the truth already, that he wasn’t worthy of her loving him?

  You are not your old man! You love her and she did say she loved you so maybe she does.

  Maybe she’s the one, the one to settle down with and have children with because he suddenly did want children—with her.

  Ryder climbed out of the truck, leaving it running so the heat stayed on, when he saw an attendant wheeling Kelsey through the automatic doors in a wheelchair. She didn’t look happy at all about going with him but too bad, because there was nowhere else she could go...not that he’d let her. Oh, he knew that one of their friends would take her in but knowing Kelsey, she wouldn’t want to intrude on them. It was either she go with him or stay in the hospital. He grinned knowing he’d won this round.

  He opened the passenger door, helped her up into the truck, and turned toward the attendant.

  “Thank you,” he told her, and then chuckled when she winked at him.

  He walked around the front of the truck, keeping his eyes on Kelsey through the windshield. She looked tired. He’d get her home as quickly, and as safely, as possible and get her to bed.

  Christ! His dick swelled at that thought of her in bed in his house.

  He climbed into the truck, made sure she was buckled in, which resulted in her pushing his hands away and accusing him of treating her like a child. He grinned, put the truck in gear, and started the long drive home. His concentration was on the roads because they were in terrible condition and the snow was still falling. He glanced over to her to see her gripping the door handle.

  “I’ll take it slow, Kelsey. I’m used to driving these roads so trust me,” he said.

  “I’m all right,” she said barely above a whisper.

  “It will take us a while to get home, but I’ll get us there in one piece.”

  “I know you will.”

  “So do you like working at the hospital?” Ryder asked figuring to keep her mind off the drive.

  “I do, actually. It’s a much smaller hospital than the one I worked at in Atlanta, but it stays busy. I really enjoy it.”

  “That’s good,” he murmured, wondering where to take the conversation next.

  “You never answered me earlier. I know you said Sam called you, but what’s the real reason you’re doing all this?”

  “We’ll talk about it when we get to the ranch. Right now, I need to concentrate on the drive if you want to get there instead of the hospital again.”

  “We’ll talk about it…which means we’re going to argue.”

  “Kelsey, just sit back and relax. Please.”

  “All right,” she muttered with a huff.

  Ryder saw her lean her head back against the headrest, and close her eyes. His hands tightened around the steering wheel, but it wasn’t because of the roads. How was he going to explain to her that hearing she’d been in an accident nearly gave him a heart attack, that it had scared the shit out of him. How was he going to get her to believe that he loved her with everything he was?

  About an hour later, he finally steered the truck into the ranch driveway and with some slipping and sliding managed to get it up to the house. He parked, shut off the engine, and glanced at Kelsey. She was asleep. He quietly opened his door and stepped out. He went to the kitchen door, unlocked it, and opened it. The dogs came rushing out, greeted him, and then disappeared around to the barn. He moved around the truck to the passenger side and opened the door. Kelsey was still asleep.

  Ryder scooped her into his arms, pushed the door shut, and carefully carried her inside. He pushed the door shut, and carried her to the spare bedroom. He was just laying her on the bed when she opened her eyes and looked up at him in the half-light filling the room from the hallway.

  “Ryder?”

  “Yes?”

  “I want to sleep in your bed—with you.”

  “Kelsey, I don’t think…”

  “Please,” she whispered and wrapped her arms around his neck.

  He honestly couldn’t think of a reason why she shouldn’t sleep in his bed with him so he gave a relenting sigh, scooped her up again, and carried her to his room. He placed his knee on the bed and placed her in the center of it. He helped her off with her coat, and pulled her boots off. He pulled the comforter up over her. He wanted to kiss her but didn’t.

  “Get some sleep. I’ll be in, in a while, call me if you need me,” he told her, gently brushing the hair away from the bump on her head.

  “All right. Ryder, thank you for taking care of me…again,” she said and then rolled to her side, facing away from him.

  He stared down at her, as if wanting to reassure himself that she was okay, and then turned and left the room. He pulled the door closed quietly behind him, and walked to the living room to add more wood to the fire. The wind howled outside the windows.

  The dogs suddenly barked so he returned to the kitchen, and let them in. As soon as they were inside, they shook furiously, and snow and ice flew around the room.

  “Way to go, guys.”

>   Ryder retrieved two towels from the mudroom to use to dry them off.

  “You enjoy this too much,” he said as he started to rub Buttons down, only to have her roll to her back. Badger kept bumping against him for his turn. Ryder chuckled. “You’ll get your turn, just hold on.” He threw the second towel over the dog’s back and Badger lay down on the floor and looked up at him with big brown eyes.

  When Ryder finished with Buttons, he rubbed Badger down too. Once both dogs were dry, they ran to the living room and the warmth of the fire. Ryder followed and sat in his recliner. He picked up the remote and turned the TV on to the weather channel. They predicted more snow and things didn’t look good for the area.

  Ryder sighed and shut the television off. He was tired but what he wanted was to go lie down on the bed with Kelsey, and hold her. She seemed to be talking well enough, argumentative even, and since it was a mild concussion, she should be fine just as the doctor said. She just needed rest and as long as she didn’t get sick and woke well in the morning, she’d heal fine.

  He rubbed his jaw and felt the stubble there. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d shaved. Pushing himself up out of the recliner, he walked to his bathroom. A shower wouldn’t hurt either since he hadn’t taken one after working in the barn today.

  ****

  Kelsey was awake when Ryder entered the bedroom. She watched him undress and disappear into the bathroom. She thought about joining him when she heard the shower turn on. The thought of him there naked, water flowing over his big body, made her moan. She rolled to the edge of the bed and groaned. As much as she wanted to go in there, seduce him, and prove to him just how much he wanted her, her body ached far too much. She’d wait. She closed her eyes and listened to the comforting sounds of him moving around in the bathroom. She could get used to this and wanted to.

  Kelsey must have dozed off because she hadn’t heard him come out of the bathroom. Instead, the shifting of the bed under his weight had made her aware that he was lying alongside her. She rolled over, his clean manly scent filling her nose and warming her heart. She lifted her hand and stroked it along his cheek. He had shaved, and it pleased her. She leaned close and pressed her lips to his. His eyes sprang open and even in the dark, she saw him smile.

  “You pretend to be all tough and hard-headed, Ryder Wolfe, but I know the truth,” she whispered.

  “Oh you do, do you? So what’s the truth about me?” Ryder grumbled, catching her hand as it traced lazy circles around his shoulder.

  “You love me but are afraid to admit it because you don’t think you deserve it,” she explained, and felt a sense of triumph when his breath caught in his throat and he blinked his eyes. “You aren’t afraid you’ll be like your father, abusive, and cruel. You know better, because you were taught by the best man ever, Frank Sanders. You think that because two selfish, self-centered, hateful people who rejected you, and never gave you love that no one else can give it to you either. Well, I know that Frank and Grace love you, and your friends love you, and I love you. You’re surrounded by love, and refuse to acknowledge it. You’ve built up walls to protect yourself from being hurt and in the process, you’re doing to others exactly what you’re afraid will happen to you…you’re rejecting all who care about you.”

  Ryder pulled back and rolled to his back. “I didn’t know nurses had psychology degrees.”

  “Actually, some of us do. I don’t but I studied some psychology courses during training. That’s not the point, Ryder. It took me a while to realize what you were doing but I understand it now. You’re so afraid of being like you’re father that you refuse to even try to live the life you deserve. You’re so afraid of not being loved that you’re not willing to admit that you love me, and in turn, accept my love.”

  She paused. She waited, and hoped. He lay there, staring at the ceiling. His breathing was fast as if he had just run a race. Perhaps he had. He’d spent a lifetime running away from the pain and heartache those awful parents of his had forced him to survive—until now.

  Then she saw it. A single tear glistened in the reflective light coming through the window from the snow covered world outside, as it slid down the side of his face.

  Kelsey kissed his cheek. He turned, his shiny gaze meeting hers.

  “I love you, Ryder Wolfe, whether you want me to or not. I love you with all my heart and I’m not going anywhere until you realize just how much.”

  “I-I don’t know,” Ryder stammered, and she felt him tremble beneath her fingers.

  “You don’t know what?”

  “What if I can’t make you happy?”

  Kelsey laughed and pressed a kiss to his mouth. She wiped another tear from his cheek.

  “Right now, the way you are treating me is making me miserable as hell so I figure anything you do to try to make me happy is a step up in the right direction, don’t you?”

  Ryder frowned at her, and then grinned. He pulled her into his arms and cradled her in a way she’d been missing for so long and thought she’d never experience again. She sighed.

  “Now, that makes me happy. Keep going, my stubborn cowboy.”

  He chuckled and the movement of his chest beneath her head was so very welcome.

  “Tell me now why you came to the hospital tonight?” She knew the reason but also knew he needed to say it, recognize, and own it.

  “Truth?” Ryder tilted her face up so she was looking directly into his eyes. She nodded and he closed his eyes for a moment. He was struggling with his fears and his emotions, she knew that, and so she’d be patient with him.

  His brow furrowed and then relaxed. He opened his eyes, allowed them to travel over her face. She didn’t look away. She gave him the unspoken support he needed to speak his feelings.

  “When Sam called me to tell me you’d been in an accident, my first thought…my first fear was that you were dead and I had lost the only person on this earth who wanted nothing from me but love.” Ryder exhaled as if those words had pained him to say. Kelsey imagined they might have. “I know Frank and Grace love me but I always felt I owed them. I owed them more than I could ever repay. It’s why I couldn’t refuse Frank asking me to watch over you.”

  Ryder pressed his lips to her forehead. “The relief I felt when Sam said you were okay, I knew I had to confirm for myself, so I raced to the hospital as fast as this damn weather would allow me to see for myself. You looked so vulnerable in that bed, so pale, with bruises, and that bump on your beautiful head.” He lightly kissed her goose egg bump and Kelsey nearly broke into tears. It was the sweetest more romantic thing anyone had ever done.

  He brushed her hair back from her face and stared down into her eyes. “You’re going to have to be patient. You’re going to have to bear with me while I get a handle on learning how to accept and return love, Kelsey, but know this…if you’d died tonight, I would never be able to go on living. Yeah, I was kind of mad at you for still being in town but that was because I’m a selfish bastard who couldn’t stand the thought of you being so close and not being able to have you.”

  She started to speak but he put his finger to her lips. He swallowed hard.

  “I love you, Kelsey Sullivan. I’m a stubborn, pigheaded cowboy who didn’t know enough to hang onto something worth more than all the gold in the Black Hills but almost losing you tonight made me learn it real fast. If I hadn’t sent you away, you wouldn’t have been out on that road in this bad weather and I wouldn’t have almost lost you so feel free to lay the blame on me that you got hurt. But I promise you this, darlin’, I’ll never let anyone or anything ever hurt you again, including me.”

  “Ryder, I’ve known that all along. You just needed to learn it about yourself.”

  They stared at each other, feeding each other with love, until he lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. She moaned and he deepened the kiss, moving his tongue inside. She ran her hands up his bare chest and into his still damp hair. But when her hand slid down along his back, and then move
d around front and slid over the bulge pressing against her thigh, he grabbed her wrist.

  “Kelsey, what the hell do you think you’re doing? You have a concussion.”

  “I have a slight concussion and I’m fine. I don’t even have a headache. The only medicine I need is you.” She pressed her mouth to his neck and he groaned.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered. She thought about pretending not to hear it but he had to understand he couldn’t hurt her except by rejecting her.

  “The only way you’ll hurt me is by turning me away.” She placed her hands on his face and forced him to look at her.

  He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. He wanted her and she was ready to let him have her, bruises and achy body, be damned.

  Ryder pulled back, breaking off the kiss. He pulled her in tight to him until she moaned slightly and then he let go and looked down at her. “See, I can’t even hug you without it hurting. You need to sleep. That was doctor’s orders.”

  “Okay,” she said with a pout of her lower lip. “But I’m not leaving again. I’ll call Lydia and tell her not to bother with the rental house.”

  “No argument from me, darlin’,” Ryder exclaimed with a chuckle. “I doubt either of us is going anywhere tomorrow or possibly even the next day, considering the way it’s snowing out there.”

  “Well, that’s just fine with me too,” she said with a happy smile before curling into his warm, protective body and kissing him one more time before she would allow sleep to claim her.

  ****

  Ryder woke feeling more content than he can ever remember feeling at any time in his life. At first, he thought it was just the warmth of his bed making him feel so comfortable but when Kelsey made a little snoring sound alongside him, he remembered the reason for his good mood. She was here. She was here with him, and other than a little banged up, she was healthy, and he had to believe, happy. He pulled her closer in his arms, and she wiggled a bit.

  He pressed a kiss to her forehead. It was warm, but not hot so she hadn’t any fever resulting from her minor injuries. He’d read the post-release instructions and so far so good, as long as she knew him, and where she was when she woke.