Rafe

by Dana Archer

  Her place was too small for the number of people in it. Josh’s parents were sleeping on an air mattress in the dining room because Josh’s mother couldn’t climb the steps. Mira and Megan were bunking with the boys. Josh and surprisingly, Devin, had the spare bedroom Megan had used on the first night. And the tiny room smack-dab in the middle was shared between Kade and Xander when they weren’t out in the rain patrolling the grounds.

  Zach and Evan had the worst sleeping conditions—the chair in Mr. Wilkins’ hospital room. They’d decided not to take any chances with his life and had pulled strings to guarantee twenty-four hour surveillance. Well, they’d lied. She wasn’t about to sugarcoat their actions. They’d provided some documentation claiming they were related to him, then gifted the hospital with a large donation as long as they could stay with him.

  Jazz was certain it was the sorely needed money for the funds-strapped hospital, along with the phone call from some colonel, that swayed them to break their rules more than the lame story Zach and Evan had come up with. No matter, the end result was the same.

  All the people Jazz loved were safe. Sure, there were friends in town and some distant cousins scattered throughout the state but her seclusion had cut most of them out of her life. A few phone calls, here and there, were the extent of her interactions with them. Rafe didn’t believe Jon would target them. Jazz agreed.

  Everyone in danger was here. Safe. That was a good thing but going into the third day since Jon had last struck—killing Cindy—nothing had happened. The waiting was driving her nuts. Jazz wanted the threat to them eliminated, once and for all. Any more catastrophes, and she’d scream.

  The place was constantly messy, and tempers were flying. So many fistfights had broken out that even Josh’s mom didn’t bat an eye anymore.

  Everyone was miserable—except for her and Rafe. Their days were spent talking and playing with the kids, while their nights were filled with passionate, hot, and sweaty sex. Throw in a good dose of oral stimulation and a little “punishment” and she was sated and happier than she’d thought possible.

  She loved him. No doubt. No questions. After only a few days, she shouldn’t feel so sure, so confident in her choice, but she was. Rafe was the man she wanted to spend her life with…her immortal life.

  Her decision was made. She was mating Rafe, but the conversation she’d overheard earlier in the day had made her doubts flare. Rafe was hiding something from her. Not about his love for her. He hadn’t come out and said the words, I love you. Neither had she, though. It was something else. Something big. She just didn’t know what.

  Xander had asked Rafe if he thought she was strong enough to be a shifter’s mate, and Rafe had only grunted. Not the enthusiastic response she’d expected. He’d only ever told her how grateful he was to have found her. It had annoyed Jazz that Rafe wouldn’t proclaim the same to his friend, but she could understand not wanting to talk about emotional things with another guy. It was Xander’s parting words that sent Jazz running to her room and left her questioning Rafe.

  “Well, I hope she makes it through the mating. You look good together.”

  Just what was Rafe hiding about the mating? And if he was keeping details from her that involved tying her soul to his, what else was he failing to tell her about?

  The bedroom door clicked, announcing Rafe’s presence, but she didn’t hear his approach. He shared many of the same traits his animal spirits did. Stealth and stubbornness being the biggest ones. Both had helped him capture her. He hadn’t given up until he’d gotten exactly what he wanted. Not that she minded. It was his evasiveness she didn’t like.

  He linked his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck, pressing kisses to her skin. She relaxed into his arms, a reaction she couldn’t stop. It felt right being with him, despite the uneasiness of her thoughts. She let her head rest against his chest.

  “I missed you.”

  She laughed softly. “How did you ever survive? You haven’t seen me for what…ten minutes?”

  “Fifteen. That’s too long.” He nipped her shoulder, then licked the sting away. “My cats were beginning to whine. They don’t like going so long without hearing your voice. They worry because they’re not close enough to protect you.”

  Jazz stroked the arms holding her and savored his words, but they didn’t snuff out the doubt that had taken root within her. “The minute I met you, I knew you were a sweet-talker. You always know exactly what to say to make me feel special.”

  “You are special. No other female can take your place, and no one will ever take you from me.”

  He’d said the same thing many times, but the growl to his words suggested there was another reason behind them beyond his possessiveness.

  “What has Jon done?” She’d bet money that was the source of his anger.

  “Devin found evidence of where we think Jon has been staying.”

  She turned in his arms and took in the careful mask he wore. “That’s good. Isn’t it?”

  “Yes. This might be our best chance to grab him. I’ve called Zach back to help watch the house, and I’m going to meet Devin. We’ll wait for Jon to return, then I’ll take him out once and for all.”

  “But why do you have to go? Send Kade or let Devin handle it.”

  Rafe leaned closer until his full feline eyes filled her vision. “I wasn’t there to save you from those bear shifters. I didn’t rescue you from Jon when he had his filthy hands on you. And I wasn’t the one who chased off Jon’s lion form. Three times I failed you. It won’t happen again.”

  She sighed. It was the response she’d expected. It didn’t ease her disappointment. Rafe was using those instances as an excuse for revenge. Yes, she understood that Jon needed to be taken out. Everything that had happened since he’d groped her had proven that. She just couldn’t see why Rafe had to do it.

  “You didn’t even know me five years ago. That doesn’t count and—”

  “Yes. It does.” He snapped his teeth together. “You are my true mate, and you were mine five years ago. You were mine the minute you took your first breath. Every bad thing that has ever happened to you is ultimately my fault. I wasn’t there to protect you.”

  Rafe kicked off his shoes and tossed his shirt. He picked up the syringe from the nightstand, the one filled with the chemical to mask his scent, and jabbed it into his arm, depressing the plunger. He put the cap back on and tossed it in the wastebasket.

  “And you’re not going to be here for me now!”

  He stopped with his hand on the button of his jeans and glanced at her.

  She rushed forward. “You’re leaving your brothers and your friend to guard me while you go off hunting Jon. How is that protecting me?”

  Rafe cupped her face in his hands and brushed his lips over hers. “It is protecting you. I know you don’t understand. You’re only human.”

  “Only human.” Jazz shoved away from him. “Seriously. Is that what you’re going to drop on me? Only human? I thought I was strong, beautiful, brave. I did manage to protect your nephews for five years on my own. Even Kade respects me for that.”

  “And so do I. You are the best female a male could ask for.”

  “But I’m only human. Not quite strong enough to make it as your mate.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but what I meant by you’re only human is that you aren’t driven by your instincts. Do you remember when Devin attacked Josh?”

  “Yes.”

  “His cats urged him to do that. They viewed him as a threat to Mira. And do you know how animals deal with people who they think will hurt their loved ones?” He crouched so he was eye-level with her. “They kill them. If their enemies stop breathing, they won’t hurt anyone.”

  Rafe tapped his head. “That’s what I’ve been dealing with since the night Jon and I argued. My cats were wary of him, but I let him go. I just let him walk away. You know what he did then?” He narrowed his eyes but continued before she could answer. “He cu
t off my dad’s head, and my mom died too since they were soul-bonded. She dropped over dead, right as I was talking to her.”

  Jazz reached for him, but Rafe jumped back and shoved roughly at the strands of his hair that had fallen into his face. “Jon destroyed my family because I let him walk away. I won’t let him take our family. That’s what this comes down to.”

  “No matter how you choose to rationalize it, you’re still acting on your need for revenge. Stay here and—”

  “You will be protected. My brothers and Xander would give their lives for you.” He kicked off his jeans and walked naked to their bedroom door.

  She wasn’t going to win the argument. In his mind—a shifter’s mind that was influenced by his cats—he was doing the right thing. She even understood where he was coming from. It didn’t mean she agreed with him. He was still placing his misconstrued beliefs before her.

  Time for a different approach. “What if it’s a trap?”

  He shrugged. “It probably is, but if he wants to play, I’m game.”

  “I know you’re immortal, but—”

  Rafe glanced over his shoulder and leveled her with a hard look. “This is not up for discussion. I’m going, and you will stay here where Kade and Xander can keep an eye on you.”

  She stared at him wide-eyed. “Excuse me?”

  He parted his mouth slightly on an inhale.

  She stormed closer to him. “You don’t need to scent my emotions. I’m angry. That shouldn’t be too hard to figure out.”

  “Why? Because Jon is likely baiting me?” He nodded as if he’d pinpointed the trigger for her bad mood. “I told you—”

  “Exactly. You told me.” Her skin warmed. Her pulse sped. She fisted her hands to hide the slight tremble in them. “Don’t my concerns matter? I thought you said nothing was more important than me? Well, I have a problem with you running off on a vigilante hunt!”

  “Of course your opinion matters.” He opened his arms to her. “I’m sorry.”

  She stepped into his embrace. “Then listen to me when I tell you that you’re letting your cats’ primitive drives influence you.”

  “Now you’re telling me.” Rafe raised a brow. “Are you sure you’re not the one looking for reasons to get what you want?”

  Jazz glanced away. That was exactly what she was doing, but she had a good reason.

  Didn’t she?

  She worried her lip. Maybe Rafe had a point, but it didn’t change anything. He was being stubborn. He too was safer staying at the house. What if something horrible happened? What if he lost his head?

  “Mate me now,” she blurted.

  He blinked at her but didn’t say anything.

  “Do you think Jazz is strong enough to be a shifter’s mate?” Xander’s question echoed within her.

  She grasped Rafe’s hand. “Or did you change your mind?”

  “I didn’t change my mind. You’re my true mate. I want to spend my eternity with you. This world and the next.”

  “And that’s how I feel. If the unthinkable happens and you’re killed, I don’t want to lose my chance to be with you, even if it means I have to spend it with you in heaven.”

  He kissed her hard, and they explored each other—give and take. She poured her feelings into the raw kiss, showing him how much she loved him. He finally pulled back, leaving her panting and hungry for more.

  “You are amazing, my Jasmine, but you’re worrying over nothing. I’m a Royal. Strong. Jon is nothing to me. He can’t hurt me.”

  “And I’m strong too. Strong enough to be a shifter’s mate. And I will make it through the mating. I can handle a little pain if it means getting to love you for eternity, even if you are the most stubborn man I’ve ever known.” She tugged at her shirt, exposing her shoulder. “Just do it quick. Bite me, then go after Jon.”

  He studied her for a long moment, then sighed. “I can’t. I won’t be able to leave your side while your body recovers from death. You’ll need my strength and my comfort to deal with the pain. It’ll be days until the bond is complete and you’re healthy again.”

  Her chest squeezed tight. “Death? What are you talking about?”

  “I had planned to sit you down after this situation with Jon was over and explain everything to you.” Rafe rubbed at his eyes. “But it’s obvious that was the wrong choice. You overheard Xander talking to me, didn’t you?”

  “Yes.” The word came out as a squeak.

  “I didn’t think you were close enough.”

  “Well, I was.” She raised her chin. “Now explain it to me.”

  “In order for me to share my immortality with you, we must soul-bond. That means after I tie our souls, I’ll need to tie my cats’ souls to you. The only way to do that is to join us while your body is at its weakest so you are less likely to fight me.”

  “Why would I fight you? If I’m committing to you, I’ll welcome your claim.”

  “No matter how much you love me or want to stay with me, you’ll instinctively resist. Your trust in me is what will ensure our bond is successful. The process is”—he cracked his jaw—“painful. It’s also frightening for humans. I will be taking a piece of your soul and so will my animals. I will know you. Every intimate detail. Your memories. Your weaknesses. Your fears. I will experience it all. So will my cats.”

  “And if you don’t like what you see?”

  “I will. You are a beautiful, loving person. Strong and brave. Worthy. I’m lucky to have found you.” His words rushed out.

  She narrowed her eyes. She wasn’t letting this go. “And if your cats don’t like what they see?”

  He stared at her for a long moment, then rolled his shoulders. “They will. They—”

  “And if your cats don’t like what they see?”

  He grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged it hard. “Don’t make me say it.”

  “Don’t make me ask again.”

  “Any one of them can refuse you. They are individual entities with free will. I can’t force them to accept you, but they will. You’re our true mate. I don’t doubt them. If I did, I wouldn’t have even brought up the subject of mating.”

  “And if one of them refuses me, I die. For good. That’s what you’re telling me.”

  “Yes. If I had been born a single shifter, it wouldn’t be so traumatic. I wouldn’t have to…” He balled his fists. “I wouldn’t have to inflict a death wound in order to mate you.”

  When he said it like that, the idea of mating lost its romantic appeal. She reached for the wall to brace her suddenly shaky legs. Rafe got to her first. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her close. “This isn’t how I planned our conversation about mating to go.”

  “And when exactly were you going to share that little detail?”

  “After I knew for certain that you not only love me but would trust me with your life. Why do you think I’m so anxious to get rid of Jon? Yes, it’s because I want him to pay for his crimes, but I also want him out of the picture so that I can earn your trust. I guess I also want”—he sighed, and his warm breath stirred her hair—“to prove to myself that I can protect you. Knowing first Josh and then Devin protected you instead of me makes me doubt myself.”

  He chuckled, the sound bitter and raw. “That’s not something many dominant males would admit, but for you, I will. I doubt that I’m worthy of you, and if I fail you when we mate, I—”

  “Shh, don’t say it. You won’t fail me. I trust you.”

  He tightened his arms around her and simply held her. “My father cautioned each of his sons not to be in a rush to pick a mate. A breeding partner only warmed a male’s bed, not his heart. You do both.”

  With that, Rafe eased back. “I must do this. I need to prove to myself that I can be the mate you deserve.”

  Love rushed up. She nodded quickly. “Okay, but hurry home.”

  His smile turned her heart over. “I will. Promise.”

  She followed his retreating back with her gaze,
then stood there until she heard the front door bang shut, before she rushed down the stairs.

  Kade met her gaze. Going by the sympathetic expression he wore, he’d heard the fight she’d had with Rafe. She studied Rafe’s twin, then crossed her arms over her chest. “How did you get stuck with inside babysitting duty? I thought it was Xander’s turn.”

  Kade shoved his hands in his front pockets. “It was. Xander’s pulling double duty patrolling because Rafe ord—” He smirked. “Because Rafe asked me very nicely if I would stay inside.”

  Ordered him, then. She shook her head. “And you agreed because?”

  “Because Rafe is my twin, and if anything happened to you, he’d kill himself.” Kade leveled a hard look at her. “I don’t ever want to lose him. It’s why I’m in this role to begin with.”

  “He didn’t want to lead your family?”

  “Yes and no. I didn’t want to be alpha. Rafe convinced me to accept the spirit. Now I know why.” Kade motioned toward her with a jerk of his chin. “You.”

  “Me?”

  “Subconsciously, he must’ve known his mate would be a human. If he’d been leader, he wouldn’t have been able to claim you, even if he’d wanted to.”

  “Because I can’t have his babies, and he’d need a son to pass on the spirit of your family if he died.”

  Kade grinned. “Exactly, sure in desperate times, any male feline shifter can accept the spirit, but it wants to remain with a direct bloodline.”

  “How long have you held the spirit? Aren’t you getting the urge to mate?”

  “Not mate, breed. My cats could care less who I choose as long as she’ll birth us strong kids.” Kade glanced at her. “But I don’t want to be that male who only touches his mate when he wants sex. My parents were true mates. I saw the difference. I see it with you and Rafe. Unless I’m in a position where I must mate a female in order to produce an heir, I’ll fight my stubborn cats until I meet my true mate.”

  Josh walked into the room, stopping Jazz from asking Kade more questions. Josh leaned against the wall a few feet from Kade. “I saw Rafe leave. If you’re in here, who else is patrolling with Xander?”