Mr. Darcy's Forbidden Love

by Brenda Webb

  “Oddly, I believe you.”

  “I am gratified that you do, for it is the truth.”

  “And you do not want Elizabeth or anyone else to know what you have told me.”

  William blinked several times, trying to control his widely swinging emotions. “Above all, I do not want her to know.”

  “May I ask why?”

  William grew solemn. “I believe that she may harbour feelings of… gratitude for my help last night. And because she is so very young, she may mistake those feelings for more. I have found her to be very kind, and if she knew the truth about my situation, she would likely pity me—want to befriend me.”

  “She may never suspect you are married. No mention of it was made at the ball, and as far as I know, it has not been made public. Even my wife, who knows all the gossip, believes you are single.”

  “Bingley and his family are most likely the only ones in Meryton who know, though my marriage and the circumstances surrounding it are well-documented in the gossip sheets of London. However, like the rest of the ton, Caroline Bingley prefers to think that I am available, and she perpetrates the lie that I am hers for the taking—thus people believe I am single. Apparently she is under the delusion that I shall eventually be free, and she will be my choice.”

  Charles groaned audibly and shook his head.

  “I apologise, Charles.”

  “It is the truth, Darcy. Much as I hate to admit it, Caroline is just that foolish.”

  “In any event, she will not spread that fact here, nor will Louisa, so hopefully there will be no need to inform Elizabeth of my unusual marriage.”

  “You were leaving before this unfortunate incident. Is that still your plan?”

  “Yes. I believe that Miss Elizabeth will consider us, at the least, good friends after the ordeal we shared last evening, but it would best serve her interests if she does not. Therefore, I shall leave straightaway.”

  Mr. Bennet nodded. “I have to say that I am impressed with your concern for my Elizabeth. I am relieved to know that I was not wrong—I did sketch your character correctly the first time. I ask you to accept my heartfelt thanks for rescuing her. You likely saved her life.”

  “There is no reason to thank me for doing what any man would. And please accept my apology, as it was foolish of me to think we could be friends. After getting to know Miss Elizabeth better, I realise that I would never have been satisfied with so little.”

  “I believe your foolishness lies in thinking you can instruct your heart whom to love.”

  “You may be right.”

  “At some point you will know for certain that I am.”

  ~~~*~~~

  Chapter 5

  Netherfield

  The next day

  It was early morning, but William’s coach was packed and ready to leave. Four footmen and the driver, in their finest livery, stood at attention in the morning mist beside the imposing coach. Matching sets of greys pawed the ground in anticipation of beginning the journey, occasionally shaking their heads and snorting, their breath visible in the chilly morning air. Mr. Foster, William’s driver, surreptitiously kept his eyes trained on the portico where the master stood talking with Mr. Bingley.

  On the portico, Charles had closed the door as he exited so that the butler and footman just inside could not hear. He tried not to smile as he teased, “By the way, I have to ask. Caroline told me last night that she wants to return to London straightaway so I told her to pack her bags. Would you mind letting her and her maid ride back to London with you?”

  William tensed, readying a sharp reply before catching the gleam in Bingley’s eye and beginning to smile. “Thank you, Charles. I needed that to brighten my spirits.”

  Slowly the smile was replaced with a look of remorse. “I feel absolutely horrid for leaving without saying goodbye to Miss Elizabeth. If I have caused her any pain…” Ceasing as his voice cracked, William managed to murmur roughly, “I have never felt this much for any woman, Charles.”

  Bingley placed a hand on his friend’s arm. “I admire your courage and resolve, Darcy. I am not sure that I could sacrifice as you have, even to protect my family.”

  William’s next words were barely above a whisper. “See that she is taken care of—for me.”

  “You have my word.”

  William smiled wanly as he turned and began to walk briskly down the steps, Charles sighed. I pray the future holds more happiness for you than the past, my friend.

  “Mount up!” Mr. Foster called, and in seconds all the men were in place except for Jones, who held the door for his master. By the time William was settled in the seat, the crack of a whip stirred the horses. As he leaned out the window to wave to Charles, William caught a glimpse of Caroline standing in the doorway of a small balcony on the second floor. It appeared that she was clad only in her night clothes, and he pretended he had not seen her. Settling back into the comfortable cushions of his conveyance, William closed his eyes while his mind swirled, revisiting the conversation he had had with Charles in the library late the night before.

  “I hate that you are leaving so soon, Darcy. I feel that it is my fault for allowing Caroline to barge in on us,” Charles handed William a glass of brandy and watched him walk to the hearth and study the flames.“While I dearly hate Caroline’s manoeuvrings, you know I must leave Meryton because of my stupidity. I should never have tried to pursue a friendship with Miss Elizabeth. I knew it would never work, but I let my heart overrule my reason.”

  “You are just a man, Darcy. Try not to be too hard on yourself.”

  “I am old enough to know better. Eliz… Miss Elizabeth is very young and impressionable, and the thought that I may have caused her pain will lie heavy on my conscience. If her heart was touched, as was mine, leaving without saying goodbye will cause her to despise me and rightly so.”

  “I was heartened at Mr. Bennet’s acceptance of your personal physician’s assistance, as it appears he believed your account of the incident and has forgiven you.”

  William chuckled mirthlessly, never turning. “Yes, he was definitely kinder when we left Longbourn than when we arrived. As for Mr. Meacham, I was not about to let the local apothecary attend Miss Elizabeth.” He looked over his shoulder at Bingley. “Are you sure that you do not mind that he will be staying at Netherfield? He should arrive late this evening or in the morning.”

  “Of course not! I am pleased to have him under my roof.”

  “It is just as well that I received the post from the retired solicitor Mr. Barton hired, requesting my presence in London. Unfortunately, Mr. Lowell has a habit of not explaining anything in his letters, which leaves me conjuring up the worst possible outcome. I do not expect the man to talk of particulars, but he could at least say whether things are going well with his investigation of the joint venture.”

  “I pray Lowell’s news is nothing dreadful, as you have had your fair share of misery. I am still awaiting word from the investigator Barton recommended to look into the ship lost with all my goods aboard. One cannot run a successful mercantile without goods, and the stock in my warehouse in Liverpool is getting sparse, what with the loss. If you would, ask Mr. Barton if he has heard from Mr. Carter.”

  “I will certainly do that, and my offer of a loan to replace the loss at sea still stands.”

  Charles walked over to pat William’s shoulder. “As we discussed, I have no need for it at this time, but I appreciate the gesture.”

  William nodded, continuing, “In any event, I got a letter from my Aunt Audrey right before I left London. She will be bringing Georgiana back to Town in another week or so, so I would have returned then in any event.”

  “At least you can be thankful for your aunt, as she seems to have your best interest at heart. From what you have said, she has been most helpful with Georgiana.”

  “Yes, she has been a godsend since Mother died. I do not know what I would have done without her.”

  “She is your mother’s
youngest sister and is childless, is she not?”

  “Yes. She is but five and forty. Her husband died years ago and she never remarried. When Mother died, she moved into Pemberley, putting herself at my disposal to help with Georgiana. She and Georgiana have been in Bath. Naturally I would like to see her while she is in Town, and I know that they are planning another trip to Ramsgate to allow Georgiana to study with the masters.”

  “I am happy that you do not have to worry for Georgiana. You will let me know if there is a problem after you consult with Lowell. I may not be able to do anything, but I will help however I can. I have some dealings with the mills, you know.”

  William reached to shake his hand. “I will certainly keep that in mind. Do not forget your promise. Write me every day with news of how Miss Elizabeth is faring. I want Meacham to concentrate on taking care of her, and I trust you to contact me if she needs anything.”

  “Every day, I promise.”

  “I shall be in London unless I advise you that I have left for Pemberley, so that your correspondence may follow me.”

  “Go and attend to what you must, my friend. I shall keep you abreast of the news here.”

  Charles was hesitant but could hold back no longer as William stood and set his empty glass on a table as if preparing to retire.“Darcy, may I ask your opinion on something?”

  “Certainly.”

  “We have not had time to discuss this, what with your being stranded in the storm, but what do you think of Miss Bennet? I find myself growing quite fond of her.” At William’s cynical expression, he quickly added, “I know, I know. I have often thought myself in love in the past, but I promise that I will take my time and do nothing in haste. I am considering extending my lease on Netherfield just for the purpose of getting to know her properly.”

  William considered Charles, noting the eagerness in his eyes and remembering his own desires to know Miss Elizabeth. How he wished he had the right to stay in Meryton and further their acquaintance! Carefully he chose his words, not wishing his own misery to colour his counsel. After all, Charles was like a brother to him.

  “You know my advice—proceed slowly, know your mind. Keep your relationship strictly as friends. Stay if you feel you must, but make no decisions without consulting me. Promise me that we will talk before you progress beyond friendship.”

  “You have my solemn promise,” Charles replied eagerly, his face aglow with happiness as he feigned a salute. “No decision without talking to you.”

  “Then I have no objections to your staying or extending the lease, though I would suggest you extend it by only a few months at a time. That way you can vacate the property in short order if circumstances change.”

  Afterward each man retired for the night as William was determined to leave at the break of dawn.

  ~~~*~~~

  As the Darcy coach made its way through Meryton on the way back to London, William instructed the driver to stop at the bookshop. With the book he had intended to give Elizabeth in his coat pocket, he stepped into the quaint shop. The now familiar ring of the bell over the door brought Mr. Grant’s head around the end of a bookshelf.

  “Mr. Darcy! How good to see you again! I am just dusting the shelves. Are you here to find another book?”

  “No, sir, I am away to London sooner than I expected, and I need to ask a favour of you.”

  The gentlemen came forward hastily, brushing his hands against the apron that he wore. “Certainly! How may I be of service?”

  William pulled the book of poetry from an inside pocket of his coat. “As you may remember, I purchased this book that Miss Elizabeth Bennet was admiring, intending to present it to her for her valuable help the other day.”

  “Yes, I remember.” Mr. Grant tried not to smile.

  “But as I have to leave Meryton forthwith, I have not had the opportunity to give it to her. Would you be kind enough to have it delivered to her home? And, if I may be so bold to ask, would you let her assume that you are gifting her with the tome, perhaps for her assistance the other day? She was very helpful to this newcomer.”

  The proprietor smiled. “I would be happy to do so. And as for your being a newcomer, perhaps you are to my humble shop, but certainly not to the world of literature! I was not eavesdropping, you understand, but this is a small shop and voices carry, and from what little I heard of your discussion, your knowledge of the best authors and works is equal to Elizabeth’s.”

  William smiled at the recollection of her crooked grin. “I am most proud to be mentioned alongside such an august reader.”

  With his business finished, William looked about the small establishment, fixing it in his mind. This was where he had first seen Elizabeth, and it would always have a special place in his heart. Taking a deep breath, he turned to leave.

  “Oh, Mr. Darcy!” William looked over his shoulder. “I am sure that Miss Elizabeth will appreciate the gift, but is unfortunate that she will never know the true benefactor.”

  “I believe that she will know… in her heart.”

  With those words the door closed behind the tall gentleman, and Mr. Grant walked to the front window to watch as he entered an imposing coach. Directly, it pulled away and in a few moments was out of sight. Shaking his head, the shopkeeper turned back to his duties.

  ~~~*~~~

  Longbourn

  Two days later

  Mr. Bennet raked the back of his weathered hand across Elizabeth’s cheek and was pleased to see her eyes open. It had been two long days since Mr. Darcy had returned her in the early morning hours, and one day since the physician that Darcy had insisted on summoning from London had arrived in Meryton.

  He was duly impressed with Mr. Meacham, as he had stayed with his daughter all night until the fever broke and she was greatly improved. Then, after declaring that it would be days before she would recover her strength or that he would allow her out of bed, he had returned to Netherfield to rest. Leaving instructions to send for him if they deemed it necessary, he promised to return in the morning to check on his charge.

  “Papa?”

  “Yes, child?”

  “Why do I feel so weak?”

  “You were ill after being caught in the rain and trying to ford the stream with that blasted goat!” Mr. Bennet could not but smile as Elizabeth’s eyes widened and then crinkled to see that he was teasing.

  She sounded very weak as she enquired, “How is Juliet?”

  “Juliet is doing better than you, my dear. Though, I fear she will reside in a pen from now on. I do not intend for her to escape another time, as her rescuer is not in any shape to save her again.”

  Immediately, Elizabeth pictured an exceptionally tall man with black curly hair, and dark brows and eyelashes which framed sky-blue eyes. His nose was noble and straight and his lips were perfectly formed. And if she closed her eyes, she could once more hear him chiding her as she lay on the makeshift bed.

  Miss Elizabeth, you could have been killed trying to rescue that kid. That was very foolish on your part; you do know that. And I may not be here to rescue you the next time.

  Trying not to appear hopeful, she enquired, “I hope you were not angry at Mr. Darcy for my foolishness. Had he not intervened, I might not be here now.”

  “I did not challenge him, if that is what you are asking.” Elizabeth tried to smile. “After I calmed down and heard him out, I expressed my deepest appreciation for his assistance to you and for keeping the whole ordeal from being known. Outside our family, only he and Bingley are aware of what happened. I have sworn your mother to silence and Mary, Kitty and Lydia know nothing. Jane figured it out when I brought you upstairs that morning, but the other girls were still sleeping. When they awoke, I told them that you were sick after getting soaked searching for Juliet.”

  “Has he come to call?”

  “Mr. Darcy?” At her nod, he continued. “I understand that he has returned to London.”

  “He did not even say goodbye,” she murmured forlo
rnly.

  “Mr. Bingley informed me that Mr. Darcy received a post that bade him return immediately to London. It must be a heavy burden indeed to be so wealthy and have so many lives dependent upon you.”

  Her reply was barely audible. “I am sure.”

  Mr. Bennet must have comprehended his child’s disappointment, for she sank further into the pillow and turned her face away. He offered, “Would you like to open the package that Mr. Grant brought today? He said it was a book you admired, and he wished you to have it since you were ill and confined to bed. I thought I would read a bit to you, if you wish.”

  Even the prospect of a new book could not raise her spirits. “I believe I would like to sleep now, if you do not mind.”

  “Of course, child, sleep will do you good. I shall leave you with Jane. She has been asking to sit with you. All of us have been worried, but you know that of all your sisters, Jane has suffered the loss of your companionship the most.”

  Elizabeth nodded, closing her eyes as though to sleep. It was hard holding back the tears that threatened until he was out of sight. Mr. Bennet leaned in to kiss her forehead, and then rose from his place on the side of the bed. He stopped in the doorway to take one last look and then quit the room.

  Elizabeth took a deep breath, willing the hot tears that filled her eyes not to spill, but they would not cooperate. Instead, they quickly made trails down her cheeks to the pillow below. Despite the tenderness Mr. Darcy had shown her during their ordeal, his heart had evidently not been touched as had hers. And all the gestures she had taken as evidence of his affection clearly meant nothing to him. Else how could he have left Meryton without so much as a word?

  Elizabeth felt that her heart would break. Silly, foolish girl! She chided herself. You made the choice to care for this man against your better judgement and have learned a hard lesson!