‘Come here,’ he said gently and raised his arm. Immediately, she smuggled under his armpit and his warmth seeped into her bones. ‘Better?’
‘You have no idea!’ she said, her breath making a foggy stream in front of her. ‘I should have worn jeans and a woolly jumper, boots, an overcoat and maybe, thermals.’
He laughed. ‘I get the picture,’ he said kissing her forehead. ‘Thank you for dressing up for yourself and for me. It’ll be warmer inside, I promise.’
Together, they hurried up the garden path, the irony of it not lost on her.
The white French doors, at the end of the path, were open and inviting. They hit an enveloping heat from several free-standing gas heaters strategically-placed in the Teahouse. Eternally grateful, they stepped inside and were immediately greeted by a friendly Maitre D’, dressed in a cute Bavarian costume, who spoke in both German and English.
Jared gave his name and they were seated immediately at a table exquisitely-decorated with candles, flowers and candied fruit. It was by the panoramic, glass wall so they could either look out into the rainforest or inside at the crystal chandeliers and the painted Michelangelo-like masterpiece that covered the entire ceiling. It was probably some sort of wall-paper for ceilings, but had the desired effect, giving it a warm, European feel.
Jared ordered two glasses of good quality Sekt - German sparkling wine, and with Kirra’s consent, traditional German fare of Schweinebraten, Rot-Kohl and Bratkartoffeln - roast pork, red cabbage and fried potatoes.
While they waited for their meal, Kirra sipped at the glass of water on their table, anxious about why he wanted to talk with her about children. She didn’t want to ask him outright though, lest she sound like a hard-nosed journalist.
Instead, she asked softly, ‘How did your father come by so much land?’
Jared’s eyes immediately met hers, but there was no suspicion in them. One corner of his mouth curved, as if fully aware of her attempt at subtleness.
‘I suppose it won’t hurt to tell you. It’s common local knowledge. My great-grandfather struck it rich in the Victorian Goldfields in eighteen fifty-one. A pioneer in the district, he moved to Queensland and bought the property. He had several Friesian cattle shipped out from England. Of course, many died on the voyage, but enough survived to start a dairy.’
‘And the property has been handed down from generation to generation?’ she asked.
‘Yes.’
‘How wonderfully traditional.’
He grimaced suddenly and she knew she’d said the wrong thing. ‘I hadn’t planned on taking it over so soon, Kirra,’ he said flatly. ‘It really limits your own plans. You don’t plan on taking over your parent’s souvenir shop, do you?’
Kirra shivered under his intense scrutiny. ‘I haven’t given it much thought. They’re only renting the shop. It’s different from inheriting land and a working farm.’
‘Exactly. Nobody has their entire future mapped out for them?’
She began to realise just how limiting it could be, so she asked gently, ‘What else did you want to do?’
‘Not long after I’d finished my Veterinary Degree, I was offered an opportunity to do a PhD in researching endangered wildlife in Queensland’s outback,’ he said with passion. ‘But that was a long time ago.’
A waitperson came with their flutes filled with sparkling wine and placed them on the table.
Kirra fell silent until the waitperson left, then she snapped, ‘Being cynical won’t gain you sympathy.’
‘I don’t want sympathy,’ he quipped back. ‘I need your empathy. Your yearning to have children was upset by your husband’s untimely death, was it not?’
‘If only you knew . . .’ Kirra picked up her flute and drank half of its content in one swallow, her eyes glazing over with sadness.
She put the flute back on the table and Jared covered her hand with his. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘You didn’t,’ she said in a rush. Then, she couldn’t wait any longer. She looked at him straight in the eye and asked, ‘Why did you want to talk to me about children tonight?’
Jared’s jaw squared and his gaze intensified. ‘I wanted to ask you if you would like to meet my son.’
Chapter Seven
KIRRA’S FACE FROZE. Did Jared expect her to be Caleb’s nanny for the rest of her stay?
‘What’s the matter, Kirra?’ he said, squeezing her hand. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’
‘I wasn’t expecting you to say that?’ she bit out, choking back her emotion. ‘I had some whimsical notion that you might want to help me have a baby.’
He let go of her hand and sat back in his chair. ‘You sound like you want to be a single mum,’ he said, grimly. ‘Do want me to be a sperm donor, is that it?’
‘Yes. No. I don’t know,’ she replied, staring out the window, unable to look him in the eye.
‘I can’t think of anything less I’d rather do,’ he said firmly, ‘Look at me, Kirra.’
After a moment, she turned her head to meet his gaze, her expression bleak. ‘Do you really think you would be happy raising a child without a father?’
‘No.’ Her hand snaked up and clutched at her throat, feeling like she’d swallowed a frog.
‘I’m already a father. Caleb and I are a package deal,’ he said in a low tone. ‘If he doesn’t like you, then I’m afraid there is no hope for us.’
Kirra dropped her hand into her lap and her face blushed with embarrassment. ‘I feel like such a fool. I thought you wanted me to be his nanny.’
‘Caleb’s had enough of those to last a lifetime,’ he said, shaking his head as if annoyed with himself. ‘He doesn’t trust his heart now to just anyone.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ she said frankly. Like father, like son! She thought. But then, her heart filled with compassion for them both and she added on a softer note, ‘If he’s like you, I will like him.’
‘Thank you.’
‘When’s Caleb coming home?’ she asked, as the waitperson arrived with their meals. The food smelled delicious and she thanked him, when he placed them on the table. ‘Have you heard?’
After the waitperson left, Jared replied, ‘Caleb’s uncle is driving him home in the morning. Mother wants to stay with her sister for a few more days until she’s steady on her feet.’
The conversation changed then, as they consumed their meals, to more general topics. Most were centred on world current affairs. They agreed on most things and when they didn’t, they agreed to disagree.
It had been ages since she’d had an intellectual conversation with a man who wasn’t involved with her work. A sudden flash of memory dampened her spirits. Zac had never been one to watch the News on television or read anything other than the Sports Section at the back of the newspaper.
A folk singer started singing and playing acoustic guitar quietly in the corner. The memory vanished and her spirits lifted as the musician’s melodic ballad touched her heart.
The German chef came out of the kitchen and beckoned everyone to the dance floor for ‘The Chicken Dance’.
Jared had no hesitation in taking Kirra’s hand and leading her to the dance floor. Several other couples joined them and they had much fun and laughter dancing around like hyperactive poultry.
When the dance finished, the folk singer strummed a waltz on her guitar and Jared took Kirra in his arms.
‘We fit so well together,’ he murmured, his mouth close to her ear and twirled her around the dance floor as if they were dancing on a cloud.
Kirra became aware of Jared’s large hand on her back, slipping the soft velvet across her skin. She breathed in his masculine scent and feeling very much at home in his arms, she matched his rhythmic steps.
Why hadn’t she met Jared first? She sent the heartfelt, yet impossible plea out to the universe. Since they’d both had previous spouses, there was so much more to consider.
Did Jared want any more children? He was
an only child, maybe he thought one was fine. She was also an only child, but she’d always yearned for a brother or sister.
And now, he wouldn’t commit to her unless she passed muster with his son!
When the waltz finished, he kissed her on the dance floor and everyone clapped. He led her back to the table and with Kirra’s accordance, ordered Apfelstrudel - flaky pastry stuffed with apple, walnut and spices and German coffee for dessert.
Kirra sipped some wine and swallowed. Having made up her mind, she said, ‘I think it’s best if I sleep in my own bed from now on.’
‘Kirra, what’s going on in that clever mind of yours?’ he said, his brow knitting together. ‘You seem to be distancing yourself.’
‘This is hard … really difficult.’ She wiped her mouth with her napkin. ’I don’t think it will make a good impression on Caleb if he sees me coming out of your bedroom. He’s old enough to know about the birds and the bees.’
Jared took her trembling hand in his large one. ‘I’ll have a talk with him and let him know that you’re special to me.’
Special? But not in love enough with her to let his son know that she was The One? Her heart squeezed with torturous pain.
Dessert and coffee were served, but Kirra had lost her appetite. She barely picked at the spicy apple and sweet pastry. The coffee was stronger than she liked and she had to ask for more milk to consume it. Even then, she only managed to drink half.
Tension mounted between them and Kirra racked her brain to bridge the uncomfortable silence.
She cleared her throat. ‘Where did you learn to dance like that?’
He laughed then. ‘It sounds corny, but Mother used to waltz me around the house when I was five, while Father played the Pianola.’
‘Your parents sound like fun,’ she said, then fell silent again. Her emotions warred inside her. It seemed like she was at a crossroads now. Did she stay and see if his son approved of her? Or leave graciously, shelving the wonderful memories with Jared as her transitional man?
‘Kirra,’ he said in a low tone, filled with exasperation. ‘Do you want to go home?’
‘Yes.’
Jared signalled for the waitperson to come to the table and he paid the bill. On the way out he thanked the German Maitre D’ for a wonderful evening.
There was a deeper chill in the air when they stepped outside and Kirra wrapped her shawl tightly about her. Jared put his arm around her waist and they walked in unison back to the car.
Driving down the mountain, the tension in the small confines of the car strung her nerves tight. Her mouth ran dry and she couldn’t seem to find a comfortable way to sit.
‘What’s the matter, Kirra?’ he said, his fingers wrapped tightly on the steering wheel.
Dammit! She wanted to scream. Couldn’t he see that she was head over heels in love with him? Did she have to spell it out?
Closing her eyes, her breath caught in her throat.
‘I love you,’ she said simply. ‘I’ve fallen in love with you.’
Jared steered the Range Rover across to the other side of the road and brought it to an easy halt on a grassy clearing at the forest’s edge.
His heart filled with a warmth that he hadn’t experienced in a long time. He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless - this beautiful, clever angel who had been dropped on his doorstep.
Loving and caring for everyone and everything in his life for so long, he’d forgotten what is was like to be loved, truly loved for who he was.
But what did he feel for Kirra? Was it love? They had only met three days ago. Did falling in love happen that fast? He’d loved Heather all his life, but the sexual attraction was never as intense as it was with Kirra? And she wanted children of her own?
Hell, it just dawned on him. He hadn’t used any protection - hadn’t had any on hand at the farm. It hadn’t been necessary before Kirra had arrived, but still, how could he be so careless in the twenty-first century? Kirra could already be carrying his seed. Was that what this was all about? She hadn’t asked him to wear a condom, maybe she knew her ovulation cycle.
Was she hoping to be pregnant? Was she using him? He didn’t think so, but …
Then there was the threat of Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Being in the medical field, albeit in animal health, he should have at least asked her if she had a clean bill of health. He knew that he was clear.
Had he fallen for her big time? Did he want to spend the rest of his life with her?
And then there was Caleb to consider. What if he committed to her and she couldn’t love him as her own?
A career woman, what if living in the country wasn’t fulfilling enough for her and she left? Caleb would be devastated and so would he. So many what ifs ... Was it worth it to risk his heart again? Was he being a selfish and arrogant bore?
He dampened down his concerns.
Gripping the wheel, he turned towards her and smiled. ‘Thank you for telling me, Kirra,’ he said quietly, doing his best not to upset her. ‘It takes courage to be honest about one’s feelings.’
Kirra sighed heavily. ‘And you can’t, is that it?’
His nostrils flared. The tension in his shoulders was incredible and squeezed his muscles tight. ‘I can’t commit my feelings. Caleb’s welfare is paramount in my reckoning.’
Hurt, Kirra’s eyes flashed with indignation. ‘Even over your own happiness?’
‘Yes.’
She clutched her bag tightly in her lap. ‘You’re crazy. Children grow up and make their own way in life.’
‘Yes, they do, but they also need love and to feel secure to develop into healthy adults.’
‘I agree.’
Jared touched her forearm with his hand. His need for her was strong and intrinsic. ‘Stay. Spend time with Caleb. See if you like each other. That’s all I’m asking.’
‘Okay,’ she said, schooling her thoughts, ‘I understand your concern, but I will not sleep with you again, unless you are willing to commit.’
He removed his hand and placed it on the steering wheel.
‘Agreed,’ he said, though he didn’t know how he was going to keep his hands off her. It would take all his willpower and determination to resist making love to her.
He could see a lot of cold showers in his immediate future.
Jared put the car into gear and released the handbrake. Stilling the guilt rifling through his thoughts, he concentrated on driving back down the mountain.
When Jared pulled the car up outside the homestead, he turned to her and gave her a genuine smile, then said, ‘Thank you for coming to the Teahouse with me tonight, Kirra. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a meal out and a dance. I had a great evening.’
‘Me, too,’ Kirra replied, desire racing through her veins. How simple would it be to let him kiss her until she was mindless and carry her into his bed? But she had to be true to her conviction.
With what pride she had left, she opened the passenger side door and stepped out. ‘Thanks for the date, Jared. It was enlightening. I’ll see you in the morning.’
She closed the door and ran up the steps. The front door was unlocked, so she went straight in and closed the door. Tears burnt at the back of her eyes, as she headed into her granny flat and closed that door too, her heart throbbing with pain.
Hugging herself, she leaned against the back of the door. Her eyes closed instinctively and a tear spilled down her cheek. What had she done? How foolish must she seem in his eyes? It was madness declaring her love only after three days? Wasn’t it?
Kirra slept fitfully. When she woke the next morning, it was as if she hadn’t slept at all.
On hearing the puppy’s whimpers as he scratched behind the laundry door, she rose and slipped on her robe.
Arriving at the laundry, she opened the door gently and picked him up. ‘Hello, puppy,’ she said, kissing his forehead. ‘Your master will be home shortly and he’ll give you a proper name.’
Tucking him in her robe
to keep him warm, she padded into the kitchen to feed him. She poured some milk Max gave her especially for puppies into a bowl and set it down on the floor with the puppy. The puppy lapped it up.
Jesse already had food in her bowl. Kirra also noticed a note on the fridge held up by a cow fridge magnet. The writing, in long, definite strokes had to belong to Jared.
It simply said, ‘Gone to Rutherford’s Farm. Cow having difficulties. Hope to be back by 11 am.’ There was a phone number and J.G. signature at the bottom of the note.
Sitting down at the kitchen table, it was then Kirra noticed an open newspaper beside her. A quick check of the front page told her that it was the latest Brisbane Bulletin. It had been left open at the Personal Ads. A speed read of the lonely hearts’ section told her that Jared’s ad for a wife and mother wasn’t there.
Kirra gasped and her hand covered her mouth. Was someone playing a cruel joke on her as well as Jared?
She’d ring Reece, her editor after breakfast, she decided. Maybe, he could get to the bottom of this mysterious ad.
Obviously, Jared had noticed its absence this morning too. He wouldn’t be too happy about it either. Would he think she made up the whole story?
After tea and toast, she tucked the puppy back into her robe and padded into Jared’s study to use the phone.
She called the office and asked to be put through to Reece’s extension. Once connected, she explained what had happened.
After he promised to look into it, he said, ‘Are you interested in writing rural stories? Elise tells me you like Glengarry.’
‘Did she now?’ Dammit Elise, for being such a gossip! Did she realise how much trouble it caused for other people … like her, her supposed best friend!
Reece cut into her thoughts and demanded, ‘Do you have his story yet?’
‘No.’
‘Dammit! Tyler has decided to take a year off to travel abroad again,’ he exploded. ‘Kirra, I really need a story for next week’s edition.’
‘I don’t know about that, but I’ll think about the job,’ she replied, knowing that would suit her perfectly if Jared would commit to her. She could base herself here and work from home. ‘I’ll let you know when I return from holidays.’
The Outback Cattleman's Hired Wife Page 10