Falling for the Backup

by Toni Aleo

  Aynslee felt as if Leanna was trying to rub something in her face, but Aynslee couldn’t have cared less. With a condescending smile, she mimicked, “That’s so nice.”

  Leanna’s smile faltered for only a second before she said, “I hope it works out for you two.”

  The words were like knives, because Aynslee wasn’t sure if it would work out. At this point the future was unknown. The past month and a half had been blissful, but they still hadn’t talked about what was going to happen after the season was over.

  “It will. He is a dream come true,” Aynslee said, batting her eyes for good measure. “I wish you the best with your marriage and pregnancy. Congratulations.”

  Aynslee was proud of herself, because what she really wanted to do was pour nail polish all over Leanna’s feet and then stick out her tongue like a three-year-old. But she managed to refrain and instead turned back around to her friends.

  Unfortunately, though, the damage was done. Meeting Leanna had officially ruined Aynslee’s day, and probably her night with Jordan too.

  Jordan was standing by the kitchen counter when Aynslee got home. A smiled played on his lips as he watched her throw her things down and take off her coat. She looked beautiful, as always, but her usual sunny smile was missing.

  That was weird.

  “Hey,” she said, sliding her flip-flops off before walking toward him. He thought she was going to come to him, but she went to the fridge instead and took out a bottle of water. He knew then that something was definitely wrong.

  Coming up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck before nuzzling his nose in her wild red hair. When she didn’t respond, he asked, “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

  She fell back into him and let out a long breath. “I saw your ex today.”

  “How?” he said cautiously.

  “She was at the nail salon.”

  “So what happened?” he asked with concern. It was obvious that Leanna had said something to upset Aynslee, and it worried him.

  Aynslee left his arms and leaned against the counter. “She’s pregnant and getting married to some rich guy,” she said slowly.

  Okay, he knew that, and if he didn’t care, then why should she?

  “Yeah, I know.”

  She nodded as she looked down at the ground. “Oh.”

  “I don’t care. She means nothing to me now, you know that,” he said reassuringly.

  “No, I know. It isn’t that.”

  “What is it, then?”

  “She kept saying how happy she was, and it was annoying. But then she said, ‘I hope it works out for you two,’ and it just stung because …” She paused as Jordan’s heart pounded hard against his chest. He knew what was coming, and he wasn’t ready for it. Her eyes glazed over with tears, and it was like a shot to the heart. He couldn’t even look at her as she whispered, “I don’t know if we will work out, and it scares me.”

  Jordan felt himself shutting down. This conversation wasn’t supposed to happen yet. Everything had been great and they were happy. Why put a kink in their happiness? With a shake of his head, he said, “I want us to work out.”

  “I do too, but we’ve gone this whole time acting as if you aren’t leaving. I don’t know what’s going to happen when it’s time for you to go.”

  “I understand that, but, Aynslee,” he said, looking directly at her, “we said we would reevaluate everything when the time came. Let’s not worry; let’s enjoy what we have together right now. I am so happy, and it’s because of you, baby. Why upset us both with the logistics of what could, what will, or what won’t happen?”

  “Because I don’t want to let you go,” she said softly. “And I feel like I’m going to lose you.”

  Jordan let out a long breath as he ran his hand through his hair. He didn’t know what to say or what was the right thing to do. All he knew was that he loved this girl, and as much as he wanted to tell her that, he knew it would only make things worse. One day soon he would leave her, and they both knew that. The scariest thing was that, with each passing day, he wanted to give it all up, just for her. He knew he could ask her to go with him, but that didn’t feel right. Shaking his head, he said, “I told you from the start I was leaving. I don’t know what to say; I don’t know how to make this better. I’m sorry.”

  Aynslee slowly nodded as her lips started to tremble. When a stray tear rolled down her cheek, she turned away quickly and went to the sink, where she dumped out the water she hadn’t even taken a sip of. Jordan couldn’t move. He felt as if she had kicked him in the stomach with just that one small tear.

  “You’re right,” she said with a shaky voice. “Listen, I’m not feeling well. I think I’ll skip the benefit tonight. I’m sorry.”

  She started for the hallway, but he stopped her, taking her in his arms and dropping his mouth to hers. He could feel the tears rushing down her face, and it killed him. Holding her close as he pulled his mouth away, he slowly moved his thumb along her cheeks, catching each stray tear. She looked up at him, holding him hostage with watery green eyes, her red lips still wobbling. He wanted to say so many things, but he didn’t know how. He shifted to whisper in her ear, “We’ll figure something out. I can’t just walk away from you.”

  She choked on a sob before closing her eyes tight and wrapping her arms around him. He held her as she cried, feeling his own tears about to fall. Walking away from her was the last fucking thing he wanted to do, but what other choice was there?

  Pulling back, she looked up at him, her eyes filled with sadness. “You’ve walked away twice before; why wouldn’t you once again? The only good thing is that at least we had this time together.”

  His heart stopped as he held her gaze. “Don’t say that, Ayns. I’m not going anywhere yet.”

  He closed his eyes, wishing that things could be different for them. He wanted to get lost in her kisses, take her to bed, and never leave. In a perfect world, he would be with her and they would both have awesome careers. That’s what he wanted, but it seemed impossible.

  As he ran his nose along hers, she whispered, “Yeah, not yet.”

  Chapter 9

  “How about the Predators, do they need a goalie?”

  Jordan stood outside a little pub in the heart of Buffalo, on the phone with his dad. The Assassins were playing the Sabres the next afternoon for an early Sunday game, and it seemed as if everything in Buffalo reminded him of Aynslee. She had told him so many stories about growing up in the charming city that it felt as if he had lived there with her. Thinking of her prompted the usual smile, but it also brought on a little heartache. After skipping Jakob’s charity event, he had lain in bed with Aynslee, holding her and then making love to her all night long. He was such an idiot. He’d known this was going to happen, and he still fell in love. Now he was scrambling, trying to figure out a way to keep them together.

  Bill cleared his throat, and Jordan could hear his father’s fingers typing on the computer. After finding the answer he needed, Bill finally said, “Maybe. I could reach out to them.”

  “Yes, please do,” Jordan said, feeling a glimpse of hope. It would piss some of his teammates off if he went to the Assassins’ most hated rival, but if it allowed him to stay in Nashville, he’d do it.

  “Why? I thought you wanted to play for the IceCats.”

  “I don’t want to leave Nashville,” he admitted, pinching the bridge of his nose and bracing for a fight. Jordan knew his father. Bill loved his wife more than anything, and if bringing her son back home to play would make her happy, he’d do it, no matter how Jordan felt about it. Jordan wanted to be close to his parents, but Aynslee was becoming the most important thing in his world.

  “Why?”

  “I met someone.”

  Bill paused, and Jordan took the opportunity to hold the phone out from his ear before the screaming started.

  “Are you fucking kidding me? You knew you were leaving at the end of the season. You wanted this!
I’ve worked my ass off to get you the best deal with the IceCats, and you want to stay in Nashville? For some woman?”

  “Not just for some woman, Dad. She’s the one. I love her.”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake, son. Really? This is the first I’ve heard of her and you love her? What the hell?”

  “Dad, she’s different. I met her when I was flying back from that meeting with the Sabres, and I instantly knew there was something special about her. I tried to stay away, but I couldn’t, Dad. I can’t. I have to do everything I can to stay in Nashville, or I’ll lose her,” he said, his voice breaking at the end.

  Closing his eyes to keep the tears at bay, Jordan took in another breath as his father said, “Are you crying?”

  “No, I’m not crying!” Jordan snapped.

  Bill’s chuckles came over the line. “She can’t come here?”

  Jordan shook his head, even though his father couldn’t see him. “No. She has a great job in Nashville, not to mention friends and a life. I can’t ask her to leave it all for me.”

  “Do you think she would?”

  “Yeah, I do, but I’m afraid she’ll resent me in the end.”

  “I understand that. Okay,” Bill said, tapping away on the computer again. “I’ll contact the Predators—maybe even St. Louis, since that’s close. You could always commute.”

  Jordan grinned broadly. “Thank you so much, Dad. I love you.”

  “It may not work, son, but we’ll try. If it doesn’t work and the contract is right with the IceCats, you’ll come here. Agreed?”

  “Yeah, she knows I plan on leaving. I just don’t want to.”

  “Understood. Okay, well, talk to you soon,” Bill said.

  “Sounds good; bye, Dad.”

  Jordan was about to end the call when he heard his dad clear his throat. “Son.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I love you too, and I’m very proud of you. Can’t wait to meet her.”

  Jordan smiled, looking up at the sky as he said, “You’ll love her.”

  “I know I will. Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  Jordan ended the call, tucking his phone back into his pocket. He hoped to God something would work out. He didn’t want to make Aynslee cry any more than he already had. He only wanted to make her happy. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, to love her until his dying day and watch her carry his children. They could try to do the long-distance thing, but those relationships hardly ever worked, and he wanted to be with her all of the time, not part of the time. It was hard enough leaving her for road trips, but to live five hundred miles away—he couldn’t do that.

  He walked in to the pub, went to the bar, and sat down. Shea, Tate, and some of the other guys were going to try to stop by later, but he doubted they’d make it; they were pretty beat after practice and wanted to be fresh for tomorrow’s game. Looking around the pub, he took in the manly décor. Sports memorabilia was everywhere. Pictures of hockey greats like Wayne Gretzky, Brett Hull, Patrick Roy, and Gordie Howe hung on the walls. Glancing around for a bartender, he leaned against the bar, grabbing a few peanuts from the bowl on the counter and popping them into his mouth.

  Finally, a tall redheaded man came out of the back. When he set eyes on Jordan, he turned around and yelled in a thick Irish accent, “I swear on everything holy that if I didn’t love you guys I’d fire you! We have a customer!” Turning to look at Jordan, he said, “I’m so sorry; my family is very lazy.”

  “No worries,” Jordan said with a smile. The man reminded him of his own redhead.

  “Can I get you a beer?”

  “Yes, please, draft,” Jordan said, getting his wallet out, but the man shook his head.

  “Thanks, but it’s on the house as long as I can have an autograph,” he said, placing Jordan’s beer in front of him before holding out his hand. “The name is Bowie, and I’m a fan. You’re a fantastic goalie.”

  Jordan took his hand and shook it. “Thank you; it’s great to meet you.”

  Bowie’s grin was familiar, and suddenly it clicked.

  “Do you have a daughter?”

  “I do, six. Are you looking for a wife? My Aynslee is a peach.”

  Hell yeah, she is, Jordan thought, as Bowie pointed to a picture of Aynslee. Jordan didn’t know how he had missed it, but it was something else. The photo must have been taken years ago, because she looked like a teenager, but even then she was gorgeous.

  Jordan reached across the bar again to shake the man’s hand once more, and Bowie looked bewildered. He then said, “I know you know me as a hockey player, sir, but I am also dating your daughter.”

  Bowie blinked twice and then let out a hearty laugh. “Excuse me?”

  “Aynslee Shaw, spelled A-y-n-s-l-e-e? That’s my girlfriend.”

  “You’re dating my Aynslee?”

  Jordan nodded as Bowie eyed him suspiciously.

  “You’re not her normal type. She usually goes for fairy-looking guys.”

  Laughter sputtered out of Jordan as he said, “Thanks, I think.”

  Bowie let out another hearty laugh, turning to face the back of the barroom before yelling out, “Tully! Sweetheart!”

  Jordan looked past him to see a short round woman with blond hair walking toward them.

  “What do you want, old bat? You yell at me, saying I’m lazy, but then I try to cook and you bother me,” she complained as she came up beside him.

  Bowie snickered before pointing a thumb at Jordan and saying, “This man says he is dating our Aynslee.”

  Tully looked over at Jordan and raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Has she told you about me?”

  Tully’s green eyes were still locked on Jordan. “She did. But I was expecting a fairy-looking guy.”

  Jordan chuckled as Tully flashed him a wide smile, taking his hand in hers.

  “I’m Tully Shaw, Aynslee’s mother; and you are?”

  “Jordan Ryan. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “You too. I have a bone to pick with my daughter: She didn’t prepare me for someone so handsome.”

  Jordan laughed as he pulled his phone out and said, “Let’s call her together.”

  He hit Aynslee’s contact and put it on speakerphone. When she came on the line, Jordan smiled as she said, “Hey, you.”

  “Hey, beautiful, guess what?” he asked as Tully and Bowie both beamed at him.

  “No, first you have to guess what! Guess what I bought for your welcome-home gift?” she giggled into the phone. “And let me just say, it starts with crotchless.”

  “Oh, shit,” Jordan said, quickly picking the phone up and taking it off speaker.

  “That’s right,” she cooed into the phone, as Jordan looked up to see a shocked expression on Tully’s face and Bowie glaring at him.

  Fuck.

  “Baby, I had you on speakerphone,” he said, covering his face. It was probably not a good idea to laugh, but he couldn’t help it, and soon she laughed along with him.

  “Oh, crap, did the guys hear me? At least they know you’ve got it good, huh?”

  Tully’s eyes widened, and Jordan realized that she could still hear Aynslee. When she yelled, “Aynslee Kathleen Shaw!” Aynslee’s laughter stopped.

  “Please tell me that wasn’t my mother.”

  “It was.”

  “Why are you with my parents when I am talking about crotchless panties?”

  “I was trying to tell you where I was, but you busted that out before I could!”

  “Oh, my God, did my dad hear me?”

  Jordan glanced over to see Bowie standing tall, with his arms crossed over his chest, looking very scary and Irish.

  “Yes, he did.”

  “Well, shit.”

  “Yup, I’m pretty sure I might not make it out of here alive.”

  Aynslee laughed, causing Jordan to smile. God, he missed her.

  “No, he’s a big teddy bear. Put me on speakerphone again.”

 
; Jordan did as she asked and put the phone on the bar as she said, “Hi, Mom and Dad!”

  “Hello, darling,” Tully said with a small smile playing on her lips.

  “Aynslee Kathleen,” Bowie said, his eyes still glued to Jordan.

  He was pretty sure he was going to die today.

  “Dad, stop. I have sex. I’m thirty-one, what do you expect?”

  But Bowie didn’t budge until Tully slapped his chest.

  “Stop, you’re scaring him,” she said in a mock whisper before turning back to the phone. “He seems nice.”

  “He is. Jordan is wonderful, Mom. I’m glad you’re meeting.”

  Jordan smiled as he said, “I wish you were here.”

  “Me too, but I’m buying crotchless panties, so I’ll let you guys be,” she said teasingly.

  Jordan cringed at her words, but he also became hard as a rock. He was glad he was sitting behind the bar, because this woman drove him mad. “And, Daddy, please don’t kill him. I like him a whole lot.”

  “I’ll try,” Bowie answered, receiving another smack from Tully.

  “He’ll be good, and you be good too. For Christ’s sake, crotchless, Aynslee!” Tully exclaimed. She then reached over to take Jordan’s hand. “We’ll take care of him, feed him good, and he’ll meet the rest of the family.”

  “Oh, for the love of God, please don’t do that to him.”

  Bowie let out a big laugh as he said, “But he won’t be family until that happens. He’ll be fine, we promise.”

  Something moved in Jordan’s chest. It felt good to know they already considered him family.

  “Oh, God, Jordan, I hope you still like me after you meet those crazy folks.”

  “I’m sure I will.”

  “So you think. Call me later?”

  “Absolutely.”

  As he talked more with her parents, Jordan learned that even though Aynslee looked like her dad, she was more like her mother. Tully was loud, funny, and made Jordan laugh just as hard as Aynslee did. He loved her instantly, and when he met the whole Shaw clan, he felt right at home. They were loud and very loving—though he wasn’t too sure about Flynn and Brady. He ate amazing food, played with all the kids, got interrogated by Aynslee’s sisters, and even met the bat-shit-crazy Aunt Fern. Everything Aynslee had said about her klepto aunt was true—she tried to steal his wallet and phone off the counter, but Tully stopped her and told Jordan to put his things in his pocket.