Man Up Party Boy

by Danielle Sibarium

  "Why did you just up and leave? Why did you stay out of our lives? Cooper and I needed a father. You broke something inside of us when you left. He tries to screw everything with a hole so he could be just like you, and I can't let anyone in. I'm twenty-two, and I still don't know what it feels like to be 'in love.'"

  My father's eyes trail up to Noah.

  Noah squeezes my hand.

  "That's why I needed to tell you. I couldn't when you were younger. Your mother wanted me away from you. She allowed me to see you on occasion but threatened to sue for sole custody if anyone found out. I was afraid I'd lose the little time I had with you. And I was ashamed."

  "Why? If this is who and what you are, you should be proud."

  He nods. "You're right. And I'm there now, but I wasn't for a long time. I was afraid of the damage your mother would do to our relationship. She swore she'd tell you, Cooper and anyone that would listen that I had a sick and deviant sexual appetite. It's not true of course, but you were young and impressionable. Besides, you needed your mother more than me. I just hope." He sighs. "I hope now that you're older, maybe you can understand and we can start to have a relationship again."

  "Why didn't you call, or write, or friend me on Facebook? I was away at college for four years. She didn't have to know if I saw you or spoke to you. You haven't changed. All I hear is one excuse after the other. Just so you know, your being gay never would've made a difference to me. The fact you haven't been around, that you haven't shown an interest, that's what I hold against you."

  I get up and walk out without looking back.

  Chapter 11

  Noah

  Lexi's father stands. He looks like he wants to go after her, but I know she needs her space.

  "You just laid a lot on her, sir. I think you should give her some time to absorb it. She'll come around."

  "You're not really her boyfriend are you?"

  I don't want to answer, mostly because I wish the answer was different. "No. I'm not."

  "Do you want to be?"

  "To be honest, I'm not sure what's going on between your daughter and me."

  "You're evading the question."

  "I care about her." I don't hesitate with this answer because it's honest. One hundred percent true. Do I want more with her? Yes. I'm just not sure how much more, and I have to be very careful because she just gave me an inside look into her soul and I don't want to hurt her. Not knowing how Cooper will react makes me nervous, too. I don't want to lose my best friend. What's become abundantly clear is if I act on my feelings for Lexi, I might end up losing them both.

  "Things are very complicated between Lexi and I."

  "You care about her. Do you love her? Are you in love with her? Look I know this is none of my business. But, she's my daughter, and I'm trying to look out for her. After what I just confessed, if you were to use it against her in any way . . ."

  "No. I would never. I promise. I won't hurt her."

  "Don't make promises you can't keep, son."

  "I have no intention of breaking this promise. I should go check on her."

  He nods as if he's dismissing me. I rush out of the cafe to find Lexi leaning against my car.

  "Took you long enough."

  "Sorry. I was saying goodbye."

  "You should've followed me."

  "Blindly? Like a love sick teenager?" I tease hoping to lift her mood.

  "Exactly."

  "Sorry, I can't move very fast with my blue balls and all."

  "I thought you spared them."

  "I don't know. Maybe you'll have to check them for me later."

  "You wish party boy."

  "Ah, there's my girl." I give her a kiss on the cheek before opening her car door and letting her in.

  What the fuck am I doing? I just promised not to hurt her, and now a minute later, I'm thinking of getting her out of her clothes. Fuck, get it together York!

  *

  The air in the car is thick with tension. I want to reach over and take her hand, it was easy to do before, when we were pretending to be a couple. I don't know how she'll react if I do it now. I don't know what to do anymore, and that's driving me crazy. The fact I keep second guessing myself tells me something very important, something I have to keep at the forefront of my mind. Lexi matters. She matters a lot. My chest tightens just thinking about it. I need to say something, get her talking again, but I don't know where to start.

  "How are you doing?"

  "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

  "Do you want to talk?"

  "Sure. Just not about my father."

  I let out a deep breath. I don't know how to proceed. This has to affect her in some way. Not just hearing about her father, but hearing how her mother lied to her and led her to believe her father tossed her aside, as if she was disposable.

  "You know, I always hated my name," I say, hoping my confession will ease the tension.

  "Party boy doesn't do it for you?"

  There's a funny feeling in my stomach as she says it. A warmth spreading in my chest. It's something I can't distinguish, is it pride that she has a special nickname for me? Something intimate and private just between us? That's ridiculous.

  "If I didn't think you meant it to insult me, I might actually like it. But that's not what I mean."

  "What's wrong with Noah?"

  I smile. "Noah by itself is fine. It's when you put it together with my last name. Noah York, I say the two words fast with the same wanna be Italian accent my friends and family used to tease me with.

  She giggles. The sound is beautiful, inspiring. Suddenly I can breathe easier.

  "I never noticed."

  "How could you not? I think my parents came up with it as a joke. They met in Brooklyn, and you know how some people have named their daughters Brooklyn? Well with the last name York, it was as close as they could get to it for a boy."

  "You know what I just realized?" I glance over and see the smile on her face. "Noah York is the absolute, perfect name for a party boy."

  I liked it so much better when she called me her party boy.

  I pull into the strip mall and park the car. "Let's go get some ice cream."

  "I told you, I don't eat ice cream."

  "Why not?" I brush a piece of hair behind her ear and fight the urge to kiss her. We can't keep kissing if it means nothing. And the thing is, to me it means something.

  "Too many calories."

  "Have you looked in a mirror? You're smokin' hot, Lexi."

  She turns away and looks out the window. "What's going on, Noah? Why are you being so nice to me?"

  I pull back. "What do you mean? I've always been nice to you, I'm a nice guy."

  "Don't fuck with me. Clearly I've had enough of that." She gets out of the car and slams the door.

  What just happened? Why is she angry? I tell her she's hot, she insults me, and then walks away? Knowing what she wants, this time I get out and chase after her.

  "Lexi," I grab her elbow and turn her towards me. "What's the deal with Drake?"

  She shakes her head "Forget it."

  "I don't want to forget. I want to know."

  "Don't worry, when Cooper asks, I'll tell him you did your best to keep him away from me."

  "What if this isn't about Cooper? What if I want to know for me, so that I can understand where I stand with you?"

  She doesn't answer right away. It's like I didn't say a word to her.

  "Come on, Noah. If you want ice cream, let's get some to go. I want to be alone."

  *

  I spend the night sitting in the living room watching television while Lexi's locked in her room upstairs. A few hours later she comes down.

  "What are you doing?" she asks.

  "Just hanging out making sure I'm available in case you want to talk," I lie. Really I'm making sure she doesn't leave and go meet up with Drake, or anyone else.

  "Want some ice-cream?"

  She shrugs. "Maybe just a little. What flavor
did you get?"

  "Butter Pecan," I say getting up and going into the kitchen to get her a bowl. "It's your favorite."

  "How do you know? Did you ask my brother?"

  "Of course not. You're not the only one who pays attention."

  After spooning her a generous helping, I bring the ice cream back into the living room, set it on the coffee table in front of me, and sit back down.

  "Thank you," she says settling down next to me.

  "Don't mention it."

  "I mean it, Noah. Thank you. For everything."

  I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her close to me. We don't speak anymore, but it feels good having her next to me. Too good. I think she's finding comfort with me as well. I can't think of a better way to end the night. Well I can, but I don't want to, because I'm still not sure I want to risk a relationship with her, and I won't have sex with her unless I take that leap.

  I don't move. Even when she nuzzles her face against my chest and her breathing pattern changes. Her long, deep breaths tell me she's fallen asleep. She's peaceful, and I don't want to disturb her. I want to keep her next to me like this, and keep her safe and protected. Not that she needs me to protect her, Lexi's plenty strong on her own, but I want to shield her from the ugliness of guys like Drake, and controlling parents. I want to be her safe haven.

  After an hour I take my time shifting my body off the couch without waking her. I take her in my arms and carry her up the stairs into her room. As I lay her down, her eyes flutter open and she smiles.

  "What a fucking amazing dream," she says, her voice low, raspy.

  "Oh yeah, what's it about?" I whisper, not sure if she's awake or asleep.

  "You. You're taking me to bed."

  *

  I toss and turn all night. I can't get her words out of my head, "you're taking me to bed." They hit me so fast I was hard on the spot. It took all of my resolve to pull the covers up over her and let her sleep, rather than strip her clothes off and fuck her. I stood at the door a while unable to force myself to leave her alone. I watched her, wondering if she was wet; wondering if she was ready for me.

  "Noah." My name came off her lips. It was barely more than a whisper.

  I opened my mouth to answer, when she continued and I realized she was dreaming.

  "Yes, Noah. Yes!"

  What I wouldn't give to make that dream come true, to hear her call out my name because she means it, not because it's an unconscious desire.

  "Please, make me cum again."

  Even the memory keeps me hard. I couldn't tell if her imagination let me satisfy her anymore, but I knew if I watched and listened any longer I wouldn't be wondering how her pussy felt, I'd have firsthand knowledge. As it was, standing there, I thought I might cum in my pants, something I haven't done since high school.

  What this girl does to me should be illegal.

  *

  I finally drift off to sleep as the sky lightens to a pale grey. This is really going to suck if I need a vacation from this vacation before going back to work. I wake hours later, to an empty house, a cold cup of coffee and a large tube of toothpaste side by side on the counter with notes leaning against each. I feel a little like Alice in Wonderland as I read them.

  "Wash with this, it's the remedy for your blue balls," reads the paper leaning against the toothpaste.

  "Meet me on the beach," the note propped up against the coffee says.

  She's ordering me around now? Fucking wonderful. I lift the coffee cup to my lips and take a sip. It's cold. How long has it been sitting here waiting for me?

  I look out the window to see if she's in her usual yoga spot. No sign of her. I pull my phone from my pocket and check the time. It's after two in the afternoon. Shit. I wonder how long she's been gone. I want to go find her, but I need to shower first and get my skin back to normal.

  *

  An hour later, after I scrubbed most of my body with toothpaste, and arranged for a bit of payback for her harmless prank, I head out to find Lexi. There's nothing specific in the note about her location, but I know where to find her.

  The crowd is larger than yesterday. It doesn't take long for me to spot her, my eyes are drawn straight to her, like I'm a fierce, hungry tiger and she's a delicate gazelle grazing in the meadow. That's exactly how I feel right now. Like I want to pounce and take her down to the ground and have my way with her.

  She's sitting in the front row, and she's not alone. He's sitting beside her, laughing. He's in the spot I should be in, and it hurts, like someone's twisting my balls. I don't understand how she got me tied up in knots in a matter of forty eight hours. Two days. No one has ever had this kind of effect on me, let alone in two days. I want to go over and tell Drake to fuck off; that Lexi is mine.

  I need to make my mind up about this girl because I can't stay in this limbo. Either I take the plunge or I go find some pussy and move on. If I can move on. I'm not sure it'll be so easy to turn away from Lexi Sutton. I have to do something. Leaving things like this is torture for the both of us.

  Instead of storming the beach, I keep my distance and go for a run to clear my head and put together all the facts. I have to look at the situation from all angles, weigh the pros and cons. And decide if this girl that has me possessed is worth turning my life upside down, because if I touch her, Cooper is going to find out and then all hell's going to break loose.

  *

  I stay out longer than I expect. Running didn't do a damn thing for me. I still have a shitload of pent up energy buzzing through me, but I need to see her and get things out in the open.

  "Lexi," I call after letting myself into the house.

  "In the kitchen."

  She's on her knees, cleaning some sort of creamy salad mess off the floor.

  "You look good on your knees," I tease hoping this will open the conversation we need to have.

  "Fuck off, party boy," she glares at me.

  "Good to see you're in such a good mood." I reach for the roll of paper towels, and wrap a few around my hand.

  "Careful, there's glass in here."

  "What happened?"

  She shakes her head, "I made salad for dinner, but I tripped, and the bowl slipped out of my hands."

  I put the towels down and reach for her hands to make sure she's not hurt.

  "I'm fine." She yanks them away from me. "Just pissed. That was supposed to be my dinner."

  "Your dinner?" I look at the floor around us. "It looks like you made enough for the week."

  "Fuck you, Noah. You're such a fucking asshole."

  "Hey," I take hold of her hands again. "I got this. You go get cleaned up, and we'll go out to dinner."

  "I don't need your pity. And no, we won't go out to dinner. I'm going out with Drake tonight."

  "Drake?" His name is like a cattle prod in my eye.

  "You never showed up today, so when he asked I said yes."

  "I'm here now, so you can call him and tell him you changed your mind."

  "You don't tell me what to do, party boy."

  "Too bad, because right now, I'm telling you."

  There's no way I'm going to let her go out with that prick. I know what he's after, and he's not going to get it. Not from Lexi. I lift my hand and try to shake off the creamy substance I got all over me.

  "I think we should talk before you go out with Drake." Or anyone else.

  "We have nothing to talk about."

  "We have a lot to talk about. You can start by telling me what I did to hurt you."

  This seems to have gotten her attention. She stops what she's doing and looks at me. Her lips are pressed into a thin line as she shakes her head. "I keep telling you, you were never that important."

  She's lying. She shut down completely. We're right back to where we were the other night. I know it's a scumbag move, but I need to make sure she doesn't leave this house with the ass-hat. I reach for her hair with my gloppy hand, and push it back behind her ear, getting the creamy substance in it.


  "Maybe you don't have anything to say, but I have a lot I want you to hear."

  "No deal." She runs her hand through her hair and right into the wet spot full of the creamy dressing I placed there. "Fuck!"

  I do my best to keep a straight face while we finish cleaning in silence. I can't look at her, because I think I'm going to laugh in her face. Once she's done, she goes upstairs to get changed.

  "You're a prick, Noah," I hear before the shower starts.

  It's the perfect time for me to jump in the shower, too. I make mine super-fast, and finish before she does. I know because I haven't heard her scream yet. I'm not fully dressed when I hear the doorbell ring. That's good. I can make it work to my advantage. Instead of putting my shirt on, I toss it back on the bed.

  Before heading downstairs to open the door, I unbutton my jean shorts, and pull the zipper down just a bit. Next, I use my hands to mess up my hair. I answer the door, and there he is, captain douche-nozzle.

  "I'm here for Lexi," he says, raising an eyebrow as he takes in my appearance.

  "Yeah, Lexi," I say running my hand through my hair. "Sorry, we sort of lost track of time. I guess if you want to wait, I can tell her to go get cleaned up."

  "She's not ready? Fine. I'll wait inside."

  He moves to take a step in the house, but I place my hand on his chest and shake my head. "Maybe you should wait out there. At least until she leaves my bedroom. I don't think she'd feel comfortable . . ."

  "So you are fucking her?"

  I shrug. Technically it's not a lie. I'm not saying yes or no. And if visualization counts, boy am I fucking her.

  "I've been with some pretty screwed up girls before, but you two bring it to a new level."

  "NOAH!" She screams.

  "Give us about five more minutes to finish up, then I'll come back and let you in."

  "No fucking way. Tell Lexi it was nice knowing her."

  "Sorry it didn't work out, Drake." I pat his shoulder.

  "Noah, get your ass in here, now!"

  "Would love to stay and chat, but I need to go finish what I started."

  I shut the door, and I know he's done with her. His ego just took a hit, and he doesn't strike me as the type of guy that knows how to get past that. Besides, he's got the girl at the concession stand, and I spotted at least a dozen more watching him on the beach yesterday. I have little doubt he was going to be done with Lexi after tonight no matter what.