by K.N. Lee
I had barely sat down in Jazz’s car before she fired away.
“What happened? Did he get grabby with you? You know I will kill him if he did!” She threw the car into drive and sped out of the parking lot. If it hadn’t been empty, she would have killed someone.
“No,” I clutched the door handle.
“So, what happened?” She demanded.
“Nothing, he just wants more from me than what I can give him,” I stared out of the window trying to avoid more questions.
“Like what, sex?” She sounded mad and it made me smile, though I hid it from her. I really had missed her acting like my defensive older sister.
“No,” if only it was that simple. “He wants me to go away with him.”
”Go away?” She paused. “So, go.” She shrugged.
“What?” I turned to her, my mouth hanging open.
“I mean what’s a little weekend away? You could use a vacation from Drabville, USA.” She stuck her tongue out at me.
“I don’t think it was only a weekend he had in mind.” I picked up my jaw.
“Seriously?” She didn’t sound as shocked as I thought she should have.
“Yes, he feels we are meant to be together and I should go live with him,” I tightened my grip on the door handle as she dipped in and out of traffic causing the car to swerve wildly."
"That’s a lot after only knowing you for less than a week?” Still there was something in her tone, almost as if she was faking her responses.
“Yeah, I know, it’s way too much.” I ignored the twisting inside me that was telling me it wasn’t too much.
“Wow. No wonder you ran away.” She was looking at the road much too intensely. Jazz was never the severely cautious driver. She usually slouched and rarely glanced ahead. Too distracted by all the gadgets she kept with her.
“I did not run away.” I sighed. Okay, so yeah, I did. Again.
“What exactly would you call it?”
“I simply chose to remove myself from a stressful situation. You know kind of how I wish I could remove myself from your terrible driving right now. It was the healthy thing to do.” I stuck my tongue out at her mimicking her own behavior.
“You could always walk,” she laughed and pulled onto the expressway and hit the gas, accelerating much more than was necessary. “Healthy huh, well I say it’s the same thing. So?”
“What?” I chewed my lip and watched the blur of cars that passed the window.
“Why not?”
“Why not what?” I looked at her this time as she sucked her teeth.
“Why not go with him?” She did not turn to face me; the road was just too captivating.
“You can’t be serious. You just agreed that it was too soon for all that.”
“It’s not like you can’t come back if it doesn’t work out.” The truth was I probably couldn’t come back home, but I didn’t want to tell her that.
“I can’t believe this! A few years of solitary, and I come out to a completely different Jazz. You’re insane if you think this is okay.”
“I’m no different. It is not insanity; it is called having an open mind.” She nodded her head and winked at me over the red shades she wore.
“Yeah…right,” I couldn’t ever remember Jazz being remotely open-minded. Jazz was routine, things should go a certain way, and she would always stick to that. Her entire existence was scheduled and planned. Now she was suggesting that I abandon all strategy and logic and run away with a stranger.
“What?” She sighed; I couldn’t believe she was disappointed that I wasn’t on board with this.
“Are you telling me that you would go with him?”
“Um…”she couldn’t say she would because we both knew she’d be lying.
“Exactly, you’re so daring and open minded, but only when it’s not your life.”
“I’m not the one who needs a little excitement.”
“That would be more than a little. I mean going with him, it could be the end of my life. I don’t know. What if he is some serial killer collecting sickly girls that no one will miss?”
“Don’t be so dramatic. I’m telling you if he wanted to hurt you, he would have done it by now.” I couldn’t see her eyes through the shades, but, I knew she was rolling them at me. “I mean, he definitely wouldn’t have just let you go if his plan was to murder you. Besides, I would miss you Lex!”
“I guess you’re right,” she was, I knew it, as inexplicable as it was, I did know it. Lacal would never hurt me, he couldn’t.
“Look the only thing that matters is if you think he is dangerous. If you do, then of course you should listen to your instincts. Do you?” This time she turned to me. She wanted me to change my mind. Why?
“I’m not sure. It’s like a part of me says no, but I can’t make it fit. It doesn’t make sense.” I bit my lip and stared back out of the window.
I needed to think and was relieved that Jazz let me. We drove the rest of the way to my house in silence. I debated how much she needed to know. Her opinion of the situation wouldn’t be the same once she knew everything he had told me. It couldn’t. She would tell me to stay away and probably have him hauled off in a strait jacket.
I didn’t want to invite her in and appear desperate for her company. I needed my friend, but was starting to feel clingy. Thankfully, it wasn’t necessary to ask. When we pulled up to my house, she put the car in park, shut off the engine, and hopped out.
This is why we had always been best friends. She could sense when I needed her and though it occurred far less often, I could sense when she needed me. Once again it was a comfort to find that some things hadn’t changed with time.
We made a beeline for the kitchen, grabbed snacks, and went up to my room. Jazz snatched the body pillow from the floor in front of my bed and curled up with it. We chose my Sex and the City box set and put the first disk in.
For a while we were back in high school. We curled up together under the covers dipping Doritos in sherbet ice cream. (Yes, I am aware of how gross it sounds, but it’s actually delicious.) We washed it all down with coke while reciting the words to every episode before the characters even had a chance to say them. We used to argue over which characters we were. Finally, after many extensive debates, we decided that she was a Samantha/Miranda combination and I was a Carry/Charlotte combination, two walking contradictions.
After the first DVD finished playing, we sat for a while looking at old pictures and talking about events I had missed out on. There were parties and fights, break-ups and make-ups, and college drop-outs that were completely expected and one that was not. Even a girl who decided she wasn’t a girl at all, and elected to have a sex change. Jazz claimed she knew even when we were in high school, but I found that hard to believe because she constantly tried to hook her up with the basketball players.
“He thinks I am a vampire queen!” There was a lull in the conversation and I blurted it out. It was the only way I could say it out loud that wouldn’t make me lose my nerve.
“What? You mean Lacal?” She nearly choked on the coke she was chugging down.
“Yep,” I rolled on my side to look her in the face.
“Okay, spill,” she mimicked me, propping her head on her hand.
I told her everything. I included all the unbelievable and inexplicable things that had happened from the first encounter all the way up to the auras in his kitchen and the confession in his living room. For the first time ever, Jazz was completely speechless. No witty remarks or quick come backs. She stared at me blinking while I waited for her response. I couldn’t read her. Jazz always had the greatest poker face. She had to have been thinking how insane it all was and was just trying to put it into words.
“Say something,” her silence was heavy. It poured from her and affected my own voice. I could barely push myself to speak up. She was thinking something and I wasn’t sure if it would be good to find out what it was.
“Go.” She said simply, one
word, nothing more, complete insanity.
“What?” I sat up. My ears had to have been deceiving me.
“You have to.” She looked at me like she was both nervous and excited about the advice she was giving me.
“What are you talking about?” I adjusted the pillow behind my back which had begun to cramp from lying in the same position for so long.
“Come on, after everything you told me between you and him, I mean even your grandmother is tied into this. Don’t you want to find out why? Don’t you want to know if all this is true? Maybe you can find out where your grandmother went.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Giving up on the pillow, I sat against the head board, wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my head on my knees.
“Yes.” She sat up next to me pushing aside the hair that fell into my face.
“How? How can you say that Jazz?”
“Lex, you have been given, in an odd way, an opportunity most people dream of; a new life, a new adventure. Why wouldn’t you want to take advantage of that?”
“This is not at all what I expected from you.” I tilted my head to look at her and hoped that I would find her smiling jokingly, but I didn’t.
“What did you expect?” She sighed and paused. “Okay, to be honest, and I have to be honest here, Lacal has already talked to me about this. Yes, I reacted the same way that you did. I’m sure you freaked out, but he showed me things. Things I can’t even begin to explain, but you have to know, if I didn’t believe him, there is no way I could have sent you there.”
“You knew?! Why didn’t you tell me? Jazz, how could you do that to me?”
“What did I do Alexa? I listened, I believed and even though you are having trouble admitting it, I think you do too.”
“I just…I can’t believe this, talking to you was supposed to offer me a logical side, a way out of it. Now you are rooting for him.”
“Well, what do you want from me? I am just telling you the truth; that’s all I can do.”
“I don’t know, an easy way out maybe? I mean, vampire queen? Even if it all wasn’t crazy enough, toss that into the mix. Am I supposed to just accept this huge weight as if it’s nothing?” I tightened my arms around my legs. This wasn’t the type of comfort she was supposed to be giving me.
“Alexa, my sister, my best friend, if you want out, then get out. You don’t need me for that. Something is telling me it isn’t that simple is it?” She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, I needed support, and she wanted to give it to me. She knew that the advice she gave me wasn’t what I wanted, but it was exactly what I needed.
“No, I really don’t think it is.” I cried and she wiped my tears away.
We talked for a while about anything that did not concern Lacal, I needed to get him out of my head, and Jazz knew that. She tried to help me distract myself, unfortunately that never actually happened. After a while it was time for Jazz to go, I didn’t want her to, but she had other things to do. She gave me a hug and told me she supported me no matter what choice I made. That made me feel better, even though I had no idea what I was going to do. If by chance I did decide to do something completely irrational, it was nice to know my friend was by my side.
I retreated to my room and lay in my bed staring at the ceiling. The cracks somehow looked different; as if they had changed. I peered at them trying to figure out what was different, not one pattern or web looked familiar. I studied them until I fell asleep with thoughts of change lingering in my mind.
23
The dreams I had that night were different than the previous nights. Instead of clear images, my friends or my room, it started off as just random flashes of crooked smiles and smoldering gray eyes that gave me a feeling of happiness and safety. They also made me feel powerful. His voice echoed in my head; calling my name playfully. All of the uncertainties I had before were erased by the calm deep melodic timbre of his voice.
Finally, he materialized in front of me; shirtless and smiling. His hair flowed around his face moving in dark waves. He opened his arms to me and I ran into them, hard enough to knock him over, but he barely flinched. As our bodies collided, he captured my lips in a kiss and I felt as if I would melt. My legs turned to into jelly and had it not been for his arms wrapped tightly around me, I would have hit the ground.
He whispered my name into my ear and the sound of it did things to my body I had never experienced before. Biological responses firing off and leaving my skin tingling. I smiled and kissed his shoulder covering it in tiny little pecks, each one lingering for just a moment. I wanted him, he belonged to me and nothing else mattered.
Reluctantly waking up from my dream, I picked up the phone and dialed his number. There was nothing to think about anymore. He answered on the first ring sounding breathless, as if he had just been out for a run. I pushed away the images of his sweat covered flesh. I bit my lip and waited for him to speak.
“Alexa?” The breathy way he said my name made my heart race.
“Yes.” I bit down harder onto my bottom lip with enough force to draw blood.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing why?” I scanned the room, there was nothing wrong. I just needed him; I wanted him near me.
“I felt your heart racing; it woke me from my sleep.” He cleared his throat, but I would have preferred if he hadn’t. There’s nothing sexier than the sound of a man’s voice when he just wakes up. That scratchy, gruff sound that covers their already deep tone, it was hypnotic, an aphrodisiac.
My cheeks burned. I wasn’t sure if he knew what I was dreaming about, but I did know he felt it. That alone was enough to make me embarrassed. Not to mention that I was now imagining him shirtless, lying on his bed covered in sweat. My heart was still racing. Could it still be sending him messages? Would he realize it meant something much different than fear, that I was excited and not afraid?
“It’s nothing. I was just dreaming, don’t worry. You felt my heart? Wow!” I rambled on to steer the conversation in a direction that would slow the pace of my heart. It was amazing, the connection we had, how could I have wanted to run from it?
“Yes, I did. Your heart is my heart Alexa,” he breathed deep and sighed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes, Lacal, I am fine. Please relax; I think I can feel your heart too.” The moment I said it I knew it was true. Slowly, I felt his deep breaths he was now taking, reach across our connection to help calm my own pulse and wished I was with him, to inspire my heart to go off on another race.
“Good. So why did you call? I was sure you would never want to speak to me again.” He said with a defeated quality to his voice.
“I called because,” I bit my lip chewing on the words, holding back now would be pointless; he would be able to feel it. “I want to see you Lacal, I need to see you.”
“You do?” He was reasonably confused by my confession. “Are you sure everything is okay?”
“Yes. Everything is great. You don’t have to sound so shocked,” I joked to make light of the situation.
“Like I said, I figured I would never get to see you again.” He gave a small laugh, one of relief. He sighed, and I felt his breath on my neck.
“Well you will if you still want to.” It was possible that he would not want to be around me again. Especially with his new-found love of life alone on the road. He wanted to avoid drama. I was now the queen of all things drama.
“Of course, I do.” He responded as if he couldn’t believe I would think otherwise.
“Good, come over.” I meant for it to sound more like a question than a demand.
“Now?” He was already moving, noise of fabric rustling in the background.
“Yes. Please,” I didn’t want to order him around, but I was excited to see him, to be near him.
“Okay, I’m on my way.” He hung up the phone and I sat there for a while, my body tingled all over. I was eager to be with him again and he was coming to me.
I decided
to freshen up. My dreams had left me sweaty and breathless, and I wanted to look my best when he arrived. Besides, Lacal was protective and a bit paranoid. If I came to the door looking like I had been running from someone, he would be ready to fight to defend me against harm. Damn that was sexy!
I took a shower and found some new clothes to wear, nothing special, sweats and an oversized T-shirt. Looking like I was anxious to have him at my house in the middle of the night would be bad, even if I was pacing back in forth waiting for him.
Lacal arrived less than an hour after he hung up. He had to have been seriously breaking the speed limit. I told myself I would play it cool but the second I heard the car door slam shut and his footsteps approaching my door, I could not contain myself. I flung the door open before giving him a chance to knock like any normal person would have done. I pulled him inside and started kissing him hungrily. I heard the door shut, he must have kicked it closed, because his arms were already wrapped around me and carrying me through the hall.
The world spun out of control as my back made contact with the wall. I threw my head back as he nibbled my neck and kissed my collar bone. I giggled as his tongue danced across my skin in small spirals. I said his name just moments before his lips took hold of mine and we were moving again. My legs wrapped around his waist as he carried me into the living room.
He placed me down on the couch and for a moment, leaned on top of me and let the kiss deepen. A guttural moan came from within me, muffled by our lips that were still pressed tightly together. I grabbed at him harder, pulling him into me, so much for playing it cool.