by K.N. Lee
I stopped in my tracks as the occupant of the vehicle got out and approached me, a huge smile on his face.
At first, I couldn't place the face. All I knew was, he was vaguely familiar and he was very attractive. I couldn't help smiling back as he got closer. My smile, however, froze in a state of shock as I soon realised who the handsome stranger walking towards me was.
Juan.
I searched for words, but they eluded me. How? The odds of running into him were so small; it was amazing that we actually met. He sure had aged well, I noted. He was an older, sexier version of himself and I noted with glee, a faint remainder of the tingle I used to get around him.
"Faye-Minita?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.
I exhaled deeply. I had not even realized I was holding my breath. I was scared he would not recognize me. “Why was he walking towards you then?” A tiny voice asked me and I blushed. Ofcourse, he remembered me, which was why he'd honked.
I was suddenly aware that I had kept him waiting past an acceptable time
"Juan?" I asked, feigning surprise as much as I could. I was already past that.
"I knew that was you. Wow. I mean, wow! Look at you”, he said.
I smiled and curtsied awkwardly. Where did that come from? He smiled and pretended to bow forward infront of me. Then he opened his arms for a hug and I accepted. It just seemed so natural. And to think I had been surprised that it would be awkward. Silly.
"You look so good. Wow. How are you? Where have you been?" he asked, looking at me like I had just descended from the sky. It was a look I remembered from the times when we were alone as teenagers. I was shocked to see it still had an effect on me.
"I've been around. Just here and there. I moved to New York and work as a lawyer now. I only came back because of the invite from Danielle Montgomery. You got one as well right?", I said.
He nodded and smiled looking at me top to bottom, in disbelief that I was actually standing right before his eyes.
"I would have come with Drayton and Ophelia. You remember them right?" I asked. He nodded, "Well, they got engaged very recently and had to put some things together for their wedding, so they might not be able to make it" I explained.
He nodded and then pointing at the bus asked, "So, what's happening here?" as he gestured at the irate crowd of passengers.
" The bus got a flat and the driver didn't have a spare one, so he's gone to get the flat one repaired", I said shrugging my shoulders.
"That's mighty incompetent of him," he commented. He then looked at his car and said "Well, I am on my way to the same place, so why don't you hop in with me? I mean, if you don't mind”.
I sighed in relief and chuckled. For a short second, I thought he wouldn't ask.
I nodded eagerly and he helped me get my things in the car. Before long, we were on our way to Rosendale.
So far, things had gotten off to a nice start. I could not believe how much he'd changed. He seemed so much more mature now, and I could not ignore just how nice his smile had gotten, much nicer than I remembered.
The Juan I remembered was a deviant. He hated rules and never wanted to feel like he was ever being controlled by anyone. He had done all he could to rebel and she, equally in her rebellious phase, had liked him for it. In a way, they had complimented each other. Matching each other, crazy for crazy.
But now, I'd grown and matured and it seemed he had as well. The amount of delight that he brought me was surprising. Subconsciously, I'd been worried that I would meet him, a product and embodiment of his past. I'd thought that he would be an unsavoury man who was hard to be around. But as it now seemed, the reverse was the case.
Even his driving had improved.
He seemed like a totally different person as I watched him. An older, better version of the kid he'd been.
As he looked at me, I could tell he felt the exact same way about me.
5
The journey was different from its two predecessors in the sense that I had a companion I actually wanted to talk to, and he was someone I never imagined I'd be so happy to be talking to.
Juan was so different from the boy I once knew and if I didn't know better, I would have thought he was putting in extra effort to convince me of that. I stared at him from the passenger seat, as he told me of the several epiphanies he said while being in jail and how he regretted all that he had done. For the most part, he seemed grateful because it had contributed to making him a better man.
I just sat there, highly impressed with the man that he had become and slightly embarrassed that I previously imagined, though he would still be the same old boy I'd known.
The day had dissolved into the night and we stopped at a hotel. We still had a four-hour journey ahead of us and Juan mentioned how we needed to rest for the night.
I agreed. Despite the amount of sleep I had on the flight to England, I was starting to feel tired. Not sleepy, but simply tired. My entire body was still abuzz with that peculiar feeling I got when I was around Juan. It was a marvel to note that it had not changed.
We arrived at the nearest hotel and Juan went in to book our rooms. By the time I joined him, the receptionist was telling him that there was only one room left and the room had a single bed.
Juan looked at me and shrugged questioningly as if seeking my permission, knowing what a single bedroom would entail. I simply nodded. We weren't strangers; of course we could share a bed. We were adults and I was determined to act it.
He booked and paid and they carried our bags to the room for us. The hotel room was rather small, but it had a cosy feel to it. Once we were alone, Juan went about inspecting the room and keeping all the bags. Then, as I watched, bemused, he started making a separate sleeping space on the floor beside the small bed.
"What are you doing?" I asked lamely. Of course I knew what he was doing. He arched an eyebrow inquisitively as if to say 'duh' and responded, “Making my bed. That one is yours, I'm very comfortable with the floor. Don't argue, that's the way it's going to be”, he said and went back to arranging the blankets on the floor for his makeshift bed.
Hmm… way to take charge, I caught myself smiling at the way he had taken control of the situation. I had gotten to a stage in my life where the men I met were usually intimidated by me. Juan wasn't, and that was just a breath of fresh air that I did not know I'd been craving.
I wondered if his confidence was borne from the fact that he knew me from a previous time, or just because that was how he was confident. Period.
I didn't argue with him, and he must have noticed because he turned to look at me and winked, smiling with that killer smile again. When did his smile get so good?
He had always been handsome, but I had no idea why I'd never noticed just how breath taking his smile was. What was wrong with me?
When he finished arranging his sleeping space, he took his things into the bathroom and took a shower in preparation for bed. After he was done, I did the same and changed into my nightgown.
I found myself secretly wishing I'd packed one of my seldom used sexy nighties. But I knew it couldn't be helped. There's no way I could have known I would be spending the night in the same room as my high school lover. Anyways, I pushed the thought from my head and focused instead on the present. I had my normal everyday nightgown, and that would just have to do.
We both lay down quietly for a while, each lost in thought, most likely about each other. I mean, I was definitely thinking about him and how much he'd changed and I had a feeling he was thinking about me too.
"Faye-Minita?" he suddenly said and I turned, surprised, "Yeah Juan?"
"It was really great seeing you today" he started, then hesitated.
"I know, I feel the same way," I said, trying to help him along. It obviously worked.
"I can't get over how much you've changed. I mean, Faye-Minita MacDougal, a big town lawyer. I would never have thought. In fact, I don't think anyone would have thought. You were the stereotypical, rebellious teenage girl
"
"And you were the stereotypical, rebellious teen boy" I chipped in, raising my eyebrows. He laughed. It was a rich sound and reverberated throughout the entire room.
"Yeah, that's true. I was a different person then. We both were,” he said so matter-of-facedly that I had to look at him. He was looking at me where I laid and for a second, our eyes met and then he averted his eyes.
"I never apologized to you for the accident," he said and my breath caught in my throat. “What was he talking about? Accident? Was he really going to bring that up now?” I thought to myself.
I knew there was no escaping it, so I just kept quiet and let him speak.
"I know you might disagree, but I have to do this anyway. It was my fault. I took you out that night. I suggested we go to Make Out Point and I was the one who'd been at the wheel. I'm truly sorry".
I listened to him in silence. Why did he choose to look at it from that perspective? Why had he chosen to just carry the entire burden? I mean it wasn't like I'd been easily influenced and just went along with what I was told, no. I'd made a conscious decision at every turn, to be as 'bad' as they come. I had an image of myself in my head, which I was, at the time, working very enthusiastically to maintain. He wasn't the only one to blame here, we both were. And I wasn't about to allow him to play the martyr role here.
"Don't talk like that Juan, I admonished. You sound like you really think I did those things against my will or something. You know how much I was into the bad girl role. I craved the infamy it came with and I wanted to ride the wave to the fullest. You know that. The accident was a result of two stupid kids, who were too young and dumb to see just how much their actions affected their immediate surroundings. And I think we both paid for it as we deserved".
"Yeah, I get that. But they were my suggestions. I had a direct connection to the ideas that caused that unfortunate event and I have regretted it every day since then."
"I'm no stranger to regret myself, Juan. I regret a lot from that time. I regret my need to always be seen as a rebel. I regret my need to always be seen as the bad girl. I regret my hedonistic pursuits and most of all; I regret not generally being a better kid. But that being said, I do not ignore the part, that part had to play in my overall formation. Like a phoenix rising out of the ashes, we made a good thing of a bad situation. That at least deserves some accolade".
I watched him nod and look at me, gratitude mirrored in his eyes. I couldn't believe it, underneath all that confidence; he had secretly thought I held a grudge concerning that incident. What else did he think? I wondered.
"Faye-Minita?" he asked again, uncertainly. And I held my breath, wondering what exactly he wanted to ask me this time.
"What really happened to you all those years ago in the woods?"
My eyes widened at his question. It was not one I had expected. How could I answer a question I did not know the answer to myself? How did I begin to make sense of the craziness that had occurred to me that night? How could I begin to differentiate fact from fiction and reality and fantasy when the line separating each was slowly being blurred in my head? How did I start explaining that I did not remember most of what happened that night? Would he even understand? I wondered.
"To be honest. I have wondered about that myself. I have almost zero memory of what actually happened that night. I wish I did. I would give anything to remember or have someone tell me what happened, if only just to put the questions to rest".
He seemed to think about it for a while, and then spoke again, seemingly unsatisfied with my response.
"Are you sure you can't remember anything? Sounds? Sights? Anything, even feelings?"
I was slightly taken aback by his questions. Why was he so interested in something that wasn't shrouded in mystery? Something even I did not have an answer to.
"I really wish I could give you a definite answer, Juan," I said, "But I can't. I simply don't recall what happened that night”.
"Wow, " he stated, "I can't believe what that must be like. I give you my word Faye-Minita, when we get to the Rosendale Manor; I promise to help you find some answers. No matter what it takes. You will find closure", he said in a devoted, laced voice I found particularly surprising.
"Thanks" I managed to say, noting how completely different he seemed, without a shred of doubt.
Before long, we had both drifted asleep.
Anyone looking outside might have at first mistaken it for an effigy carelessly tossed around by the wind. The human mind tended to create even the most illogical explanations for things it could not understand otherwise.
The creature stood at heights that dwarfed most humans and it's wingspan threatened to envelop the nearby minivan completely. Its yellow eyes glowed like embers in the night and its imposing form would have caused even the most seasoned soldiers to lose control of their bladder.
It stood close to Juan's car and sniffed, verifying the scent it had caught. Yes. It was definitely them. Its well-honed nostrils knew where the scent was emanating from now, where it was strongest. Slowly and with purpose, it turned its head towards the locked window to the room in which Faye-Minita and Juan now slept oblivious to the world of danger just a few feet below.
I tried to get up. I fell down the hill and the ground had suddenly given out beneath me. I struggled to get on my feet and brushed branches and bristles away from my body. Looking around, I realized with some level of alarm, that I was lost. I did not know what to make of the situation. How had I gotten here? And why was there a vague familiarity about it all?
Suddenly, a shriek emanated from the surrounding forest as various animals scurried to different hiding places. Before I could move, it stood before me.
I had no idea what it was. It was humanoid, but at the same time, was uncharacteristically large. Its wings extended out of its back-like grim pillars and it regarded me with a fierce expression. I stood frozen to a spot, as my mind was having a hard time wrapping itself around the concept of such a creature. What exactly was I to do?
My legs allowed me to move again and I turned to run away, but I was too late. The creature had me in its hands and there was no escape.
Just then, I got a peculiar feeling of duality I could not explain. I existed in two planes now. On one plane, I was in the clutches of a beast I had never encountered before in any animals digest, and for the second plane, I was lying on my bed, asleep.
No, lying on my bed was wrong. I was lying down, no doubt, but there was nothing beneath me. I slowly started to levitate higher and I was aware of it simultaneously.
Which of these is real? I wondered. What is happening? I asked myself as the creature raised a large, clawed hand and brought it down to me. I screamed and the next thing I knew, I woke up in the second plane and found myself falling down on the mattress and bouncing off of it and onto a confused and surprised Juan.
“What? Juan? How did I get here?” I wondered, scared to ponder on the obvious answer that came to my mind.
Juan was shaken by the impromptu wake up call and looked dazed.
"What the…” he exclaimed, as he caught my frightened expression.
"Are you okay?" he asked as our eyes met. My eyes mirrored the fear I felt inside and did nothing to reduce its intensity.
Before I could answer, his eyes drifted somewhere above my head and I froze, looking at the expression on his face. He looked at me and back at the unknown point of fascination. Finally mobile, I moved my neck a bit and caught sight of the reason for his surprise.
The window, the same one I clearly remember him locking up and latching that night before we slept off, now laid open. He looked at me questioningly and I shook my head.
I hadn't opened it. Neither of us had.
Juan put a finger to his lips and got up slowly, first heading to the window and locking it again, effectively locking us in with whoever had gotten in, if anyone had. I didn't know how I felt about that.
He then proceeded to inspect the room while I got up and sat b
ack on my bed.
The nightmare was still fresh in my memory. It was one I'd had several times before. But what was that other thing?
I could have sworn that for an instant, it had actually felt like I was floating, levitating. But how? Did I even want to consider that possibility?
And what was that creature? Why did it plague my dreams and why was it so strangely familiar? Or was it just the dreamscape messing with my perception?
I had no answers to the many questions that popped up in my head and for the most part; I didn't think I would anytime soon.
Juan came out of the bathroom and shrugged.
"Nothing seems to have been taken. I mean, are you missing anything?" he asked.
I shook my head. There was nothing missing as far as a quick inspection could tell. But why then had the window been open?
It didn't make much sense and I was determined to understand what was happening. But I know nothing more could be done that night. As the excitement brought about by the impromptu awakening died down, the initial weariness took over once more and my eyes suddenly felt heavy.
"I'll be right back, I think I'll go check the car. I think I may have left the window down or something", I heard Juan say and I grumbled my response. What exactly was going on with me?
Was Juan as freaked out by it all as I was? He sure did seem to have some kind of sixth sense for this kind of thing, the way he had jumped into detective mode. I couldn't help but admire him for that. I felt much safer knowing the room was empty.
Empty.
I suddenly felt much less safe and for a second, and even wondered if I should follow Juan down to do the car inspection. But I thought better if I and stayed put instead. There was no reason to overreact. I'd been having the nightmare for years now. Hadn't it been just that morning that I had thanked my stars that I haven’t had a nightmare during my flight to England?
I looked around the quiet room and subconsciously counted the seconds until Juan got back from checking his car. What was taking so long?