Cursed

by R D Blake

  Marta turned away from the window of this chamber which overlooked the grounds of the church. Pulling her hood deeper over her face, she checked that her robes revealed little of her woman’s body and went to serve those truly deserving of God’s Love and Mercy. For Marta knew that she was not one of those. She was outside of such tenderness from the God she served.

  ______Ω______

  A week had passed since their time upon the battlements, and winter’s hold on the land was weakening at a quick pace. The ruins were filling up fast both with birds returning from the south and from new litters of pups, kits, kittens, and all other varieties of the creatures that co-habited with No One and guarded and played with her. The air outside and inside was full of new song and the skies seemed filled with the returning flocks of geese, ducks, larks and hawks. Even the great eagles were out floating above the open fields.

  But No One, the lady, remained an enigma to him. Warm, warmer toward him at times over the past week — just as the air about him was as he worked again outside. And yet, she withdrew at times, more silent, maintaining a greater distance it seemed than even in his worst times with her. All Erick could perceive was she was troubled — as was he. For No One would burst out in speech after one of those long silent periods, reminding him, urging him to begin his preparations to leave.

  Erick knew that the time was nigh. But he had made no plans, refusing to believe that she would actually send him out away from here and her. In truth, he did not want to leave. If anything he was certain of, it was that. He wished nothing of the world to the south. Erick wanted this place and he wanted her — maddening and as mysterious as No One was. But in the game they played with each other he could say nothing of his true sentiments. It was not only pity for her plight, though there much of that in his feelings for her; but Erick was uncertain of what all they were or of their depth. He supposed he was much like these creatures that abode here with her. They loved her and cared for her. And he had come to be one with them in that as well.

  During the late afternoon of that day, they were both in the kitchen, working together on their evening meal, though No One still would not share the table with him to eat, taking her meals elsewhere, when the mishap occurred. The lady was cutting away on one of the last of the previous year’s turnips when her hand slipped and the knife sank deeply into the palm of her other hand right through her glove. Erick looked up from stirring a pot of other vegetables at her loud protest and the sound of the knife as it clattered to the floor. He saw her hold her hand and already he could see blood streaming around both her hands, dripping onto the flat of the cutting table. “My lady!” Erick shouted out, moving to help her. But she shook her head from under her shroud. “Do not! Do not think to touch me!” And with those frantic words, she ran off toward her inner rooms leaving a trail of blood behind.

  Erick knew from having trained for battle that this was not wound that would heal aright, and he dithered not knowing whether to follow her or not. It would break every rule to disobey her express command, and more, if he would search for her within her own private domain. “Follow her,” he said in appeal, as much an order as an entreaty, to the animals that appeared as frantic as he. “Give her aid as you can and — and if needs be, force her back to me so I can mend her hand. It is not good, my friends. There is too much blood. She has harmed herself gravely.”

  Birds flew, dogs and wolves ran, martens and quick weasels fled the room to wherever her sanctuary lay deeper within the fortress. Erick cleaned up the blood with a pail of water and a rag, following it even one step into the corridor that was for her alone and saw a trail of deep red that went onwards. But that was as far as Erick dared venture. As much as he wished to find her, and give comfort and healing to her as she had done for him, he could not breach her last bastion.

  The kitchen mopped cleaned, the evidence of her injury now washed away, Erick completed her task with the turnips and tossed them carelessly into the small pot that contained the rest of their evening meal of soup and bread. But its aroma did nothing to entice him to eat. The evening wore on, the fire dimmed and guttered; but Erick hardly noticed, thinking only worried thoughts of No One. And through the long hours of the night, none of denizens of the ruins returned to give him any assurance that she was well.

  ______Ω______

  Erick awoke to find himself slumped over, his head nestled within his arms upon the kitchen table. The morning had come, but the room was empty of any other creature. After building up the kitchen hearth once more, he paced the floor, debating within his mind whether or not to risk entering into the rest of the fortress to find No One. Her wound was such that she could die of it, or perhaps it would fester such that poisons would wrack her for days or weeks on end leaving only one option if she was to be saved: her limb would have to be severed. But out here, in the middle of No Where, Erick knew she would not survive without the aid of healers. These dread thoughts only made him pace the harder and he was close to deciding to break the firmest of all the lady’s rules when a bevy of birds flew into the chamber. Other animals followed in their wake. “What news? What news?” he almost shouted out. But the answer came with her presence into the room. To his eyes, she seemed less steady in her shambling, bent over walk. And her hand was bound up tightly and she carried it near her chest.

  She said no word to him, only simply coming to sit down near the fire, holding her hand with the other. Though No One gave him no permission to speak, Erick could not contain himself and approached her to go on his knees still some distance from her. “Ask whatever you wish, my lady. What can I do to give you aid?” Then as was customary, he turned his eyes away to the floor.

  She was silent and Erick dreaded she would give him no answer. “Do not fear for me. It matters little.” Erick did not believe her; but if No One would not permit him, what else could he do? To act would break all that had grown between them over these past weeks.

  “Then — then allow me to give you something to eat — to drink. For lady, you have had nothing since yesterday morn.” Erick did not look up. He knew he had crossed the boundaries twice in these last few minutes.

  Again there was that silence that tore at his heart. “All right then, Nobody. A piece of bread, but you must leave while I partake of it.”

  ______Ω______

  Erick was on the ramparts looking out across the fields, observing a black figure moving through the brambles and dead grass of the past fall. The great black bear was lumbering toward the ruins accompanied by a pack of wolves forming an escort about him. The beast had been absent the last number of days and Erick took comfort from the creature’s return. Perhaps the wolves had been sent or had gone of their own accord to call him back. By now, enough time had elapsed for No One to have finished her small repast. Erick had left more than just bread by her side and he hoped that she had taken the hint to eat more. If her blood loss had been great then her body would need much more sustenance than a mere piece of dry bread. He had not missed the red colouring of her wrapped hand and he worried much for her current state of well-being. If the wound had not yet begun to heal and close, she still was in great danger.

  Timing it so that the bear preceded him back into the kitchen, Erick made much noise and delayed longer than required such that No One, if she still remained, had fair warning of his approach. Erick discovered her hidden behind the bear. And it was readily apparent to him that she had uncovered her hand to show the beast her injury, but now she was rewrapping it within a long cloth: stained red for the most part. As Erick neared the far end of the table he saw that its top and the floor under her feet were covered with blood. Her blood.

  “My lady!” Erick exclaimed without her permission. But she chose to ignore him and continued to fix the cloth about her hand. Though he could not see her face Erick knew she winced with the slightest pressure she exerted through the bandage. “You cannot! I beg you, my lady. It will not heal without stitching. I know this. Please, please you must allow me
to aid you!”

  He had gone too far. Erick knew it. Her bent posture stiffened and she stood up abruptly. Resolute. Ready to leave him and this room. But the bear blocked her way and chuffed which only made her stand more rigidly. “No! No! It cannot be! It — No! Never!”

  But the black beast remained in front of her preventing her from moving and huffed and growled in an insistent manner. She shook her head and her voice became a wail. “No one can know. He cannot know!” Adding to her words, she beat first with her good hand, then with her injured one against the bear. Of course, it availed not at all. Fresh rivulets of blood began to run down her hand staining the robes that covered her. Then, as if one, all the other creatures began to chatter, roar, growl, bark, yip, yap and whistle until their strident voices overcame hers. Before their outburst, No One came to crumple to floor in front of the great bear cradling her hand once again.

  “It will be the end,” she lamented in a whispered croak. “He will know the truth of me. Ask me not to endure it. Ask me not! I would rather die. Is that not what I have long prayed for? You know this. All of you know.” The bear moved in such a fashion that he seemed to hold her in his great arms. Birds and the other creatures came and roosted upon her and moved to rub up against her as if they too would suffer and bear with her what she thought she could not.

  Slowly ever so slowly, she gathered herself and returned to sit the table. With her head turned to face away from him, No One extended her arm and injured hand toward him. “Do what you must. I have been given no choice. All has been taken from me. Why not this too?” Erick was fooled not. What she was allowing was beyond all her strength. Beyond anything she had yet endured.

  Erick saw all the creatures regard him. “I need numbweed, for the wound must be reopened. And willow bark, and moreover, mares thistle to fight the infection if one exists and strong thread and a sharp small needle. And fresh clean cloths. Can you gather these?” Animals and birds darted away. Erick began to boil a fresh pot of water. “It will hurt, my lady, even with the numbweed.” She gave him no answer, simply staring away from him to the far wall of the chamber.

  Soon all was prepared and Erick slowly unwrapped her hand. At the first, he thought there were still more bandages to remove but when this proved to be untrue, he could scarcely believe what his eyes were telling him, and now, oh now, he knew at least in part why No One kept herself covered as she did. This was no illness Erick had knowledge of, but he hesitated only for a moment though he perceived that she knew of his astonishment. He bent all his past training and discipline to the task at hand. The wound must be cleaned, the extract of numbweed poured over it, and then the cut reopened and the cleansing agent smeared over it all. And only after that could the sewing begin.

  It took longer than Erick had hoped and the seeping wound made the sewing difficult, but No One made no sign of impatience or any indication of any feeling whatsoever — enduring the pain of his work and of the disclosure of her true state equally. Finally, he was cleaning the remaining blood off the closed wound. She had nearly cut half her hand off. Erick could barely imagine of what she had suffered through silently since the mishap had occurred. And try as he might he could not ignore the warty, scaly skin of her palm and the black nails curled and shaped more like talons. How could any disease cause this?

  Erick refused to think of what else was hidden by her clothing. If this hand was not connected to her arm and to the rest of her he would have thought it the paw of some creature out of some foul marsh or dark fen — a beast out of some child’s story. At the end, perhaps it was only out of pity for her or at some other impulse of his heart; but Erick bent over her palm and kissed her wound, disregarding any thought of her disease spreading to him by such contact. It was only the briefest of a touch, hardly a light brush, and his lips only felt ever so slightly the hard, bumpy texture of her yellow-green skin. But she knew something had been done to her outside of his ministrations. “What was that? What did you do?” she demanded hoarsely, almost croaking.

  “Nothing, my lady,” Erick replied, lying; for his eyes now were observing a miracle happening in front of him. Her hand was changing rapidly beginning from where his lips had touched the wound. The blemished, horny skin was being transformed into — into the hand of a young woman’s. The black nails reshaping themselves into the pink flat ones of a lady’s — a hand that never knew the labour of the fields or kitchen or any hard labour. Erick looked up at No One, but her head was still turned away from him and seemed unaware of what was transpiring. He meant to speak yet glancing down at her hand once more he saw it turning back to what it had been, and in but a few more moments, it was again the bumpy, aged hand that he had mended.

  “You lie. Tell me!” she insisted, still focused on his impulsive act.

  “I — I — I kissed the wound. For — for — for luck.” The last was another lie.

  “You mock me!” No One pulled her hand out of his and shoved past the bear and ran down into the hallway that led away from the kitchen. Inhuman cries echoed back to where Erick sat.

  “Wait! It still needs to be wrapped. A poultice added,” he shouted out, but no further chance was granted to him to say more, for the bear began to swat at him and so fiercely that Erick himself fled the room in the opposite direction seeking safety in his own chambers. But he never made it; for the bear chased after him, tackling him, casting him onto the hard cold pavement up near the battlement walls and straddled him, his jaws dangerously close to his throat. “Please, please. I know I did wrong! Oaf, idiot, stupid! I am all those. But did you not see it? Her hand. Her hand changed before my very eyes!”

  His exclamation stopped the bear whose paw was raised to score his claws across Erick’s chest. His great black face, as much as any bear’s could, revealed a hard intense interest. His small ears cocked toward Erick and his posture demanded Erick say more: to explain himself. “It — her hand became as mine is. But only — only — please understand, only after I kissed it. But only for a moment. Then —oh! Then it returned to what it is. How? How could this be? What does it mean?”

  But the bear seemed to care nothing for his questions. He raised his head and began to bugle out a roar out so loudly that Erick had to cover his ears. Then the beast left him with a look that said he was not to move. Erick remained on the parapet until an hour later when it seemed all the creatures from miles about the fortress, within and without, gathered in tight circles about him. Near the end of that time, the bear returned and sat on his haunches beside him and by his motions indicated that Erick was to repeat what he had related earlier.

  Once his words were finished the creatures and birds about him began such a noise of chatter and talk in their own languages that he felt quite deafened by their tumult. Hours passed by. It appeared that they were arguing among themselves over what it meant and perhaps, what he was yet to do. That last issue seemed to be the object of the loudest of their animal speak until the bear roared out again and brought them all to silence. All their eyes went to the great beast including Erick’s.

  The black bear gave out a few huffs, and though it seemed some of those about the bear disagreed, they accepted his decision. Then they left in two’s and three’s and later in mass, but the bear stayed by his side and forced Erick back to his own room and remained there returning it seemed to his former guard duties. Some hours later, several packs of wolves showed up and took over for the bear who shambled off, leaving them to bar Erick from departing.

  During all of his incarceration, Erick could only think of No One. Now, he knew in greater part the truth of her. But he wondered if she comprehended all of it herself. This was no disease that had marred her and turned her into something that likely no one would call human. She had been ensorcelled! A curse had been put on her. Erick did not propose to think about who or why or how it had happened. None of that mattered to him: it was how could the curse be lifted? And why — why had that his kiss removed a small portion of it for only a few moments? She h
ad always been a mystery, and now, though it had not come about by intent, the shroud over her had been partially lifted. Yet the mysteries had grown to be that much greater.

  Erick pondered if God Himself had seen No One’s need and had in some manner brought him to her. These animals were magical, spiritually enhanced in some way. But it would be vain to think he was important in these matters. Anyone could have accomplished the same thing if given the opportunity. The crucial matter was what was he to do now?

  As he paced the floor of his chambers, Erick could only think of the pain and sorrow that No One had endured as she had changed, fleeing from home, family, and friends when the ordeal had became too much — and of the deep loneliness that must pervade all of her being. Now, he understood, or thought he did, of how great that small trust was that she had extended to him — of what it must have cost her to risk opening herself up to him in the tiny, constricted ways she had. And now, more than ever, he comprehended the rules of the game she played with him.

  Erick stopped his pacing. There was one who might have the answer or could lead him to understand how to reverse this curse. But it would mean he would have to leave. Leave this place. Leave her. But Erick vowed he would return, successful or not. He would not abandon No One to this cruel fate nor allow her to bear it alone. Not for as long as he still lived.

  ______Ω______

  Chapter Nine

  It was well past midnight before the bear along with a varied group of other creatures returned to his chamber. Without any warning, the beast grasped Erick’s arm in his own burly limb and ran his long tongue over Erick’s hand in a drool-sodden lick. In disgust, Erick fell back on his bed and wiped away the foul spittle. But the other creatures gave him no peace and all approached him and did the same thing. Time and time again they “kissed” his hand. As he came to understand their message, Erick balked at their intent for him.