Only His: A Dark Arranged Marriage Mafia Romance

by Olivia Ashers

  “You got confused. Yes, I like to fuck you. And you like it too when I fuck you. But that’s not love. It’s just sex. You can’t love me.”

  “Ah, so now you’re going to tell me how I feel too?” I crossed my arms.

  “I don’t have to tell you anything. You can’t love me.”

  “Why?”

  “Isn’t it obvious? Would you even think about being with someone like me if you hadn’t been forced into it?” His eyes bored into mine. “Tell me. Tell me you would’ve agreed to date me if I’d walked up to you in a bar and told you exactly who I was. Go ahead! Say it! Would you have given me a chance? Or would you have run screaming from me?”

  “That’s not the same.”

  “Can’t you see? I’m right. You wouldn’t be here with me if you had a choice.” His jaw was set, his eyes swirling with emotion, and before I could say anything else, he spun on his heel and strode away from me.

  Was he right?

  Had I fallen for him just because I was his prisoner? Just because it was the only way my mind could cope with all this?

  No, I didn’t believe that.

  He was wrong.

  He was so fucking wrong.

  I’d gotten to meet a different side of him.

  His true self that he hid from everyone so well.

  But if he didn’t want to see what was right in front of his eyes, then what could I do about it?

  I had no clue.

  Chapter 30

  I WANTED TO PUNCH A hole through the wall.

  I’d lied to Isabella.

  I’d lied because I’d thought it was best for both of us to end this thing between us while we still could.

  But it was too late for that, and it was too late for me to take my words back.

  If she didn’t hate me before, she sure like hell hated me now.

  I’d royally fucked this up, and I had no idea how I was going to fix it. Should I even try to do it?

  But how?

  I didn’t know what to say to her.

  How could I explain to her what I felt when it was something I’d never had to do before?

  I didn’t even know how I felt.

  No, that was a lie.

  I did know.

  I loved her.

  It had to be love, because there was no way to explain the pain that I’d felt in my chest when I’d seen the hurt look on Isabella’s face.

  At that moment, I would’ve given anything to bring a smile back on her face and make things better for her.

  But I hadn’t.

  Instead, I’d ruined everything.

  I’d disappointed her.

  Disappointing everyone was just something that was in my DNA, apparently.

  Wasn’t it pathetic that I’d face my enemy’s army and all the cops in the world with just one gun in my hand rather than go talk to Isabella again?

  But even if I admitted to her how I felt, I’d still have a problem.

  She was still better off hating me than loving me. At least when something happened to me, she wouldn’t have to mourn me.

  There’d be no tears in her eyes for me.

  I needed to keep my head clear and not let any of this get to me.

  Isabella would realize soon enough that she’d made a mistake and that she was wrong about us.

  Chapter 31

  I WAS LYING ON MY BED and staring at nothing in particular.

  There was a knock on the door, but I ignored it. A few moments later, I heard the door open anyway, but I didn’t bother turning around.

  I could just tell it was him.

  Sebastian.

  He climbed on the bed next to me and wound his arms around me from behind.

  “I miss you,” he whispered into my ear, his hand roaming my body.

  “Let go of me,” I said, pushing his hand away.

  He sighed as he pulled away, and I rolled over to face him.

  “Can you forget everything I said?” he asked softly, his eyes searching mine for something.

  “So you admit it?” I lifted my chin up. “You admit that you love me.”

  “I admit nothing.” He got on top of me, pinning me to the bed.

  His hips ground against me, and I hated the heat that was pooling inside me.

  Just one more time.

  Would it be so bad?

  Fuck him and forget him.

  His lips hovered so close to mine, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I lifted my head, my mouth colliding with his.

  His kiss turned passionate, deep, and hungry.

  It was like he wanted to drink me up.

  A growl formed low in my throat as he caught the hem of my shirt, and I let him pull it over my head.

  He kept kissing me as he took the rest of my clothes off.

  A soft kiss on my collarbone.

  A peck on my neck.

  A bite on my earlobe.

  A lick around my nipple.

  His kisses were a mix of both feral and gentle, as if he wanted to show me that there were more sides to him than just one.

  He lowered himself down my body, his mouth going directly to my center.

  My body vibrated in response to the licks he gave me, and when his tongue pushed inside me and swirled around my clit, I buried my hand into his hair, my thighs closing around his head and locking him in place.

  He fucked me with his tongue, making my moans louder and louder.

  When I was on the brink of pleasure, I ground my pussy against his face until my orgasm sizzled through me.

  Sebastian tried to lift his head, but I didn’t let him.

  “Again,” I said.

  I was angry.

  Greedy.

  Hungry.

  His eyes briefly met mine before his tongue dipped inside me again. He explored my folds, his tongue pressing against my throbbing bud.

  When he found just the right spot, he kept flicking his tongue over it, and soon, I was bucking my hips as another release hit me.

  While I was trying to catch my breath, Sebastian took off his clothes and got on top of me. He pressed his lips against mine, and I caught his lower lip between my teeth.

  I shot him a glare, still clinging to my anger.

  Despite all the desire that was coursing through me.

  Sebastian rolled over and pulled me on top of him. I straddled him, positioning myself over his thickness.

  When I slid myself down on him, I groaned as I stretched around him. I took him deep inside me, and then I started rocking my hips.

  He gripped my ass, squeezing, as I rode him.

  I threw my head back as he lifted his hips to meet me thrust for thrust. Our bodies merged, becoming one.

  I met his gaze as I impaled myself on him over and over again.

  He was the man I loved.

  And also the man I hated.

  But I probably loved him more, even if it didn’t make any sense.

  I captured his wrists, pulling them away from my hips. Once I pinned him down, I bared my teeth at him, and then I slammed myself down on his thick shaft and clenched around him.

  We both cried out.

  My orgasm hit me full force and I gave in to the sensation, completely forgetting about everything else.

  When I collapsed on top of him, panting for breath, I looked into his eyes.

  He smiled at me.

  A true, genuine smile.

  I shouldn’t have done this.

  One last fuck didn’t quite cover what had just happened between us.

  I wanted more.

  I wanted all of him.

  And I was a hundred percent sure of it.

  Chapter 32

  I RESTED MY HEAD ON Sebastian’s chest and traced my finger around his nipple. His arm was around me, and even though I knew I shouldn’t be letting him do that, I wanted to have a few peaceful moments before the storm.

  But I had to create a storm.

  It was inevitable.

  And the only way.

  I was
so done with his bullshit.

  Extracting myself from his embrace, I sat up and faced him. He tensed, as if he could tell something was up.

  “You need to make a choice,” I said.

  His brow creased.

  “Either you want to be with me. Like really be in a relationship with me. Or you don’t.” I stared straight into his eyes. “If you want to keep pretending that there’s nothing between us, then so be it. But the next time you come to fuck me, it will be without my consent.”

  “Isabella—”

  “No, don’t. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t play hot and cold with me. Is being in love really so scary for you? Or do you truly feel nothing?”

  “It’s not that. I’m not scared. I just...” He sighed. “I don’t do things like relationships and love. It’s not a part of who I am.”

  “Bullshit. There’s nothing stopping you from having those things. It’s only you who’s in the way. You always take whatever the fuck you want, so why not now?”

  “Why do you want to be in a relationship with me? We’re married, and I’m sleeping with you. Why do you need more? Are you afraid I’m going to find someone else?”

  I scoffed. “Then fucking go find someone else! Because you can’t have me anymore! Not the way you want.”

  I started to get up, but he caught my hand and pulled me back.

  “Isabella, wait,” he said. “I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never even seen what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. I have nothing to offer you. I can’t change who I am or what I do. This isn’t a life for you.”

  “And what kind of life is for me? A fake marriage? A cold house I’m trapped in? Being your little fuck toy? I’m not asking you to change who you are. I’m fine with this, and I want to try to make it work. Because why the hell not? What do we have to lose? If you’re not sure how to love me, then maybe I can teach you. Maybe we can both learn something. About each other. About ourselves.”

  He opened his mouth and closed it.

  I waited, giving him an expectant look.

  “You’re right,” he finally said. “I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose what we have.”

  “A chance. That’s all I want. If it doesn’t work, at least we’ll know that we tried. Do you want the same thing?”

  He nodded. “I do.”

  “Okay then.” I took a deep breath and settled back in his arms.

  Maybe this whole thing wouldn’t work, but we owed it to ourselves to give it a try.

  Maybe, just maybe, this time I wouldn’t lose the person I loved like I’d lost my mom and sister. And I wouldn’t end up being just a temporary replacement until something better came along.

  When I lifted my head, Sebastian brought his lips down on mine.

  I supposed he and I feared the same thing.

  That we wouldn’t be good enough.

  Or that we simply wouldn’t be enough.

  It was time to let go of those fears.

  They were only holding us back anyway.

  Chapter 33

  SEBASTIAN WAS SERIOUS about giving us a chance, and I was really glad about it.

  We spent more and more time together, and we were actually going out on dates. He always made sure that we’d be safe, and then he’d just take me somewhere nice.

  A walk in the park at night.

  A sunset on the beach, even if we had to use his private plane to get there.

  A coffee in our favorite cafes. First mine, then his.

  Then our favorite restaurants.

  We even went to see a movie and almost ended up having sex in the middle of the theater.

  I wanted to go to a nightclub next, but Sebastian still had his men looking for a safe place.

  It was amazing to have so many options and be free to do almost anything I wanted. Well, Sebastian’s, ehm, job was getting in the way a little, but so far, it wasn’t too much of a trouble.

  I could get used to this life, and I was beginning to understand why he didn’t want to give it up. Okay, it wasn’t all just about the perks, but I was ready to find out more about the things he did and about him.

  He was still keeping most of the details about his business secret, but we’d have to talk about it eventually.

  When Sebastian took me to a beautiful restaurant at the top of a building, I couldn’t stop admiring the view of the city.

  The sun was just going down and disappearing behind the buildings, and I took another sip of my wine.

  “I love this,” I said as I lifted my phone to take a photo of the view.

  Sebastian had gifted the phone to me two days ago, and I was sure he wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t trust me.

  I could easily use the phone against him.

  Or maybe not.

  It was possible he’d set up some kind of security measures so that his men would be alerted first if I tried something.

  But I didn’t want to think about that, because I didn’t want to do anything that would hurt him.

  Hell, I could’ve slipped away from him and his guards for about a hundred times already.

  But I hadn’t.

  Because I trusted him.

  Because I believed in him.

  In us.

  “Would you like to dance?” Sebastian asked when soft music started playing.

  “Sure, but give me a moment to freshen up.” I got to my feet.

  His lips spread into a smile. “I’ll be waiting.”

  I headed to the bathroom.

  Just as I was reapplying my red lipstick, I heard the door open. I glanced up.

  A dark-haired man stood in the doorway, his dark eyes dangerously narrowed at me.

  I stuffed my lipstick in my purse and spun around.

  “You don’t have to be afraid of me,” the man said. “I’m not here to hurt you.”

  Yeah, I somehow doubted that.

  “I’m Detective Sargetti.”

  A gasp escaped my throat, but I quickly wiped all emotion off my face.

  Just because he was here didn’t mean a thing. He didn’t have anything on Sebastian, or he would’ve already had him arrested.

  Sargetti must’ve figured out Sebastian and I were hanging out a lot, and he wanted to find out who I was, if he didn’t know already. He probably thought intimidating me was way easier than intimidating Sebastian.

  “You’re Isabella, right?” he asked.

  But I could see it in his eyes that he already knew the answer.

  “What do you want from me?” I eyed him carefully.

  “Just to talk to you. The man you’re with... Your husband. He’s not a good person, and I think you know that too. Judging by the date on your marriage certificate, I’d say you’re the girl he kidnapped from that motel. I understand that you’re afraid of him and that he threatened to do terrible things to you and to the ones you love. But I’m here now. You can tell me everything. I’ll get you out of here without anyone knowing, including your husband. I’ll put you in witness protection, and you’ll be safe.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said.

  “Oh, I think you do. Your husband thinks he’s invincible and that he can get away with just about anything, but that’s not true. He’s probably told you that you can’t trust the cops and that if you talk, he’s going to find out and make you pay. But it’s a lie. We can protect you. We’ll give you a new identity, and he’ll never be able to find you. I give you my word. All you have to do is give me something so I can put him in prison for the rest of his life.”

  “Excuse me, but I have to go. I have nothing to say to you.” I tried to get past him, but he caught me by the arm and pulled me to him.

  I felt the barrel of a gun pressing against the side of my head.

  “Let me go!” I said, my heart jumping into my throat. “You’re a detective. You’re supposed to be one of the good guys!”

  “And you’re protecting a criminal!” he hiss
ed. “That makes you as bad as him!”

  “What are you going to do?” I swallowed past the lump in my throat.

  If Sargetti hated Sebastian so much, then what if he just pulled the trigger?

  What if he thought that my death was exactly what was needed to push Sebastian over the edge?

  To force him to make a mistake?

  But was it worth it for Sargetti to ruin his own life?

  Unless he planned to blame my death on Sebastian or say it had been an accident.

  “He’ll come for you,” Sargetti said, dragging me with him to the door.

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “Someone has to stop that son of a bitch.”

  “Why? What do you think he did to you?” I couldn’t find a way to free myself as Sargetti pulled me into the hallway.

  Sebastian was going to wonder where I was.

  He was going to come check.

  I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to do it or not. If Sargetti caught him by surprise...

  “Do you know how many people died just so he could be where he is today?” Sargetti shouted into my ear, making me flinch.

  I didn’t say anything.

  He could have something on him and record everything I said. Maybe it was a trap. If I didn’t want to talk willingly, then maybe he expected me to do it under duress.

  “Let go of her!” Sebastian had his gun out and pointed at Sargetti, and me, as soon as he rounded the corner.

  I supposed it was just impossible to surprise him.

  “Confess! Confess everything that you did. Tell me what you really are, and I’ll let her go,” Sargetti said.

  There definitely was some kind of recording device somewhere.

  “Let. Her. Go.” Sebastian’s face was serious, his eyes flashing with a warning and a promise of violence.

  “Stop hiding who you really are,” Sargetti spat out. “I know what kind of lowlife trash you really are. That’s what you’ve always been. You ruined this pretty, innocent girl too. You kidnapped her and warped her mind, so she’s even willing to protect you. What kind of monster are you?”

  “You will be a monster if you don’t let me go,” I said to Sargetti.

  Sebastian’s gaze briefly met mine.

  “No,” Sargetti said. “Whatever I need to do to expose the real monster here, I’ll do it. It’s my destiny. I wish there was another way, but there’s not.”