Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic 5-Book Bundle
Page 150
I don’t believe it. The Finance Awards are actually being televised! On some cable channel which nobody ever watches—but still! I sit up and focus on the screen. Maybe I’ll see Luke!
“And we’re live from Grosvenor House at this year’s Finance Awards….” an announcer is saying. “The venue has been changed this year due to increased numbers….”
Just for fun, I reach for the phone and speed-dial Luke. The camera pans around the ballroom and I scan the screen intently, looking at all the black-tied people sitting at tables. There’s Philip, my old editor at Successful Saving, swigging back the wine. And that girl from Lloyds who always used to wear the same green suit to press conferences…
“Hi, Becky,” Luke answers abruptly. “Is everything OK?”
“Hi!” I say. “I just wondered how it’s going at the Finance Awards?”
I’m waiting for the camera to pan to Luke. Then I can say, “Guess what, I’m watching you!”
“Oh…the same old, same old,” Luke says after a pause. “Packed room at the Dorchester…gruesome crowds…”
The Dorchester?
I stare at the phone for a moment. Then, feeling hot and cold, I press my ear hard to the receiver. I can’t hear any background babble. He’s not in a crowded ballroom, is he?
He’s lying.
“Becky? Are you there?”
“I…um…yes.” I feel dizzy with shock. “So, who are you sitting next to?”
“I’m next to…Mel. I’d better go, sweetheart.”
“OK,” I say numbly. “Bye.”
The camera’s just panned to Mel. She’s sandwiched between two large men in suits. There isn’t an empty chair at the whole table.
Luke lied to me. He’s somewhere else. With someone else.
The glitzy light and noise of the awards ceremony is jarring my nerves, and I jab the TV off. For a moment I just stare blankly, in silence—then, in a daze, I reach for the phone and find myself dialing Mum’s number. I need to talk to someone.
“Hello?” As soon as I hear her safe, familiar voice, I want to burst into tears.
“Mum, it’s Becky.”
“Becky! How are you, love? How’s the baby? Kicking away?”
“The baby’s fine.” I touch my bump automatically. “But I’ve got…a…a problem.”
“What kind of problem?” Mum sounds perturbed. “Becky, it’s not those people from MasterCard again?”
“No! It’s…personal.”
“Personal?”
“I…it’s…” I bite my lip, suddenly wishing I’d thought before phoning. I can’t tell Mum what’s wrong. I can’t get her all worried. Not after she warned me about exactly this happening.
Maybe I can ask her advice without giving away the truth. Like when people write to advice columnists about their “friend” and it was really them who got caught wearing their wife’s swimwear.
“It’s a…a colleague at work,” I begin, my voice faltering. “I think she’s planning to…to move to a different department. She’s been talking to them behind my back and having lunches with them, and I’ve just found out she’s lied to me….” A teartrickles down my cheek. “Do you have any advice?”
“Of course I’ve got some advice!” says Mum cheerfully. “Love, she’s only a colleague! They come and go. You’ll have forgotten all about her in a few weeks’ time and moved on to someone else!”
“Right,” I say after a pause.
To be honest, that wasn’t the hugest help.
“Now,” Mum is saying. “Have you got a diaper holder yet? Because I saw a super one in John Lewis—”
“The thing is, Mum…” I make another attempt. “The thing is, I really like this colleague. And I can’t tell if she’s seeing these other people behind my back….”
“Darling, who is this friend?” Mum sounds perplexed. “Have you ever mentioned her before?”
“She’s just…someone I click with. We have fun, and we’re having a…a joint project…and, you know, it felt like it was really working. I thought we were so happy together….” There’s a huge lump in my throat. “I can’t bear to lose her.”
“You won’t lose her!” says Mum, laughing. “Even if she leaves you for another department, you can still have the odd coffee together—”
“The odd coffee together?” My voice shoots out in distress. “What good is the odd coffee together?”
Tears start running down my face at the thought of me and Luke stiffly meeting for the odd coffee, while Venetia sits drumming her nails in the corner.
“Becky?” exclaims Mum in alarm. “Sweetheart? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” I snuffle, rubbing my face. “It’s just a bit…upsetting.”
“Is this girl really that important to you?” Mum is clearly baffled. I can hear Dad in the background, saying “What’s wrong?” and there’s a rustling as Mum turns away from the phone.
“It’s Becky,” I can hear her saying, sotto voce. “I think she’s a bit hormonal, poor love….”
Honestly, I am not hormonal. My husband is having an affair.
“Becky, now listen.” Mum is back on the line. “Have you talked to your friend about this? Have you asked her straight-out whether she’s planning to move departments? Are you even sure you’ve got your facts straight?”
There’s silence as I try to imagine confronting Luke when he comes home tonight. Calling him on his lie. What if he blusters and tries to pretend he was at the awards ceremony? What if he says he loves Venetia and he’s leaving me for her?
Either way, I feel totally sick at the prospect.
“It isn’t easy,” I say at last.
“Oh, Becky.” Mum sighs. “You’ve never been the best at facing up to things, have you?”
“No.” I scuff my foot on the carpet. “I suppose I haven’t.”
“You’re grown-up now, love,” says Mum gently. “You have to confront your problems. You know what you have to do.”
“You’re right.” I give a huge sigh, feeling some of the tension leave my body. “Thanks, Mum.”
“You take care, darling. Don’t let yourself get upset. Dad sends his love too.”
“See you soon, Mum. Bye. And thanks.”
I switch off the phone with a new resolve. It just shows, mothers do know best. Mum’s made me see this whole thing clearly for the first time. I’ve decided exactly what I’m going to do.
I’m going to hire a private detective.
* * *
FACULTY OF CLASSICS
* * *
OXFORD UNIVERSITY
* * *
OXFORD • OX1 6TH
Mrs. R Brandon
37 Maida Vale Mansions
Maida Vale
London NW6 0YF
3 November 2003
Dear Mrs. Brandon,
Thank you for your telephone message, which my secretary relayed to me as best she could.
I am very sorry to hear your husband may be “having an affair in Latin,” as you put it. I can understand how anxious you must feel and will be pleased to translate any text messages you send me. I do hope this will prove illuminating.
Yours sincerely,
Edmund Fortescue
Professor of Classics
P.S. Incidentally, “Latin lover” is not generally taken to mean someone who talks to their lover in Latin; I do hope this is of some reassurance to you.
* * *
* * *
Denny and George
44 FLORAL STREET ~ COVENT GARDEN ~ LONDON W1
Mrs. R Brandon
37 Maida Vale Mansions
Maida Vale
London NW6 0YF
4 November 2003
Dear Rebecca,
Thank you for your letter. I am sorry to hear you have fallen out with your obstetrician.
We are touched that you have had so many happy times in here and feel it is “the perfect place to bring a baby into the world.” However, I’m afraid we cannot convert our shop int
o a temporary birthing suite, even for an old and valued customer.
We appreciate your offer to name the baby “Denny George Brandon”; however, I’m afraid this does not alter our decision.
Good luck with the birth.
Very best wishes,
Francesca Goodman
Store Manager
* * *
* * *
HEAD OFFICE • PRESTON HOUSE • 354 KINGSWAY • LONDON WC2 4TH
Mrs. Rebecca Brandon
37 Maida Vale Mansions
Maida Vale
London NW6 0YF
4 November 2003
Dear Mrs. Brandon,
Thank you for your letter.
You appear to be under a severe misapprehension. If you gave birth midair on a Regal flight, your child would not “get free club-class travel for life.” Nor would you be entitled to join your child “as its guardian.”
Our flight attendants have not “all delivered zillions of babies before,” and I would point out that company policy forbids us from letting any woman more than thirty-seven weeks pregnant board a Regal flight.
I hope you choose Regal Airlines again soon.
Yours sincerely,
Margaret McNair
Customer Service Manager
* * *
* * *
KENNETH PRENDERGAST
Prendergast de Witt Connell Financial Advisers
Forward House
394 High Holborn
London WC1V 7EX
Mrs. R Brandon
37 Maida Vale Mansions
Maida Vale
London NW6 0YF
5 November 2003
Dear Mrs. Brandon,
Thank you for your letter.
I was perturbed to hear of your “new genius plan.” I strongly advise that you do not invest the remainder of your child’s fund in so-called “Antiques of the Future.” I am returning the Polaroid of the Topshop limited edition bikini, which I cannot comment on. Such purchases are not a “sure-fire win,” nor can anyone make a profit “if they just buy enough stuff.”
May I guide you towards more conventional investments, such as bonds and company shares?
Yours sincerely,
Kenneth Prendergast
Family Investment Specialist
* * *
TWELVE
I DON’T KNOW WHY I didn’t do this before. It’s like Mum says, I need to get my facts straight. All I need is to find out the answer to one simple question: Is Luke having an affair with Venetia? Yes or no.
And if he is—
My stomach spasms at the thought and I do a few quick shallow breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Ignore the pain. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
I’m standing in West Ruislip tube station, right at the end of the Central Line, consulting my little A–Z. I’ve never been to this bit of northwest London before and I wouldn’t really have thought of it being the kind of place where private detectives hang out. (But then, I suppose I was really picturing downtown Chicago in the 1940s.)
I head off down the main road, glancing at my reflection in a shop window as I pass. It took me ages to decide what to wear this morning, but in the end I went for a simple black print dress, vintage shoes, and oversize opaque sunglasses. Although it turns out that sunglasses are a crap disguise. If anyone I knew spotted me, they wouldn’t think, “There’s a mysterious woman in black,” they’d think, “There’s Becky, wearing sunglasses and visiting a private detective.”
Feeling nervous, I start walking faster. I can’t quite believe I’m actually doing this. It was all so easy. Like booking a pedicure. I phoned the number on the card that the taxi driver gave me, but unfortunately that particular detective was about to go off to the Costa del Sol. (For a golfing holiday, not to follow a crook.) So I looked up private detectives on the Internet—and it turns out there are zillions of them! In the end I chose one called Dave Sharpness, Private Eye (Matrimonial a Specialty), and we arranged an appointment and now here I am. In West Ruislip.
I turn into a side street and there’s the building ahead of me. I survey it for a few moments. This really isn’t how I’d imagined it. I’d envisioned a dingy office down some alleyway with a single lightbulb swinging in the window and maybe bullet holes in the door. But this is a well-kept low-rise block with venetian blinds and a little patch of grass outside with a notice saying Please Do Not Drop Litter.
Well. Private detectives don’t have to be gritty, do they? I stuff the A–Z into my bag, head toward the entrance, and push open the glass doors. A pale woman with badly layered aubergine-dyed hair is sitting at a desk. She looks up from her paperback and I feel a sudden pang of humiliation. She must see people like me all the time.
“I’m here to see Dave Sharpness,” I say, trying to keep my chin high.
“Of course, dear.” Her eyes descend to my bump expressionlessly. “Take a seat.”
I sit down on a brown foam chair and pick up a copy of Reader’s Digest from the coffee table. A moment later, a door opens and I see a man in his late fifties or even early sixties approaching me. He’s paunchy, with bright white hair sticking up from a tanned head, blue eyes, and a jowly double chin.
“Dave Sharpness,” he says with a smoker’s wheeze, and grips my hand. “Come through, come through.”
I follow him into a small office with venetian blinds and a mahogany desk. There’s a bookshelf filled with legal-looking books, and a series of box files with names on them. I spot one with “Brandon” written on it. It’s resting openly on the desk, and I feel a flicker of alarm. Is this what they call discreet? What if Luke came to West Ruislip for a business meeting and he walked past this window and saw it?
“So, Mrs. Brandon.” Dave Sharpness has squeezed himself behind his desk and is addressing me hoarsely. “First, let me introduce myself. I had thirty years in the motor trade before turning to private investigation. Having had various painful experiences myself, I know all too well the trauma you are undergoing right now.” He leans forward, his chins wobbling. “Be assured, I am one hundred and fifty percent committed to providing results for you.”
“Right. Fab.” I swallow. “Um…I was wondering. Could you not have my box file out on show, please? Anyone might see it on that shelf!”
“These are dummies with false names, Mrs. Brandon,” Dave Sharpness says, gesturing at the shelf. “Please don’t worry. Your file will be safely concealed in our client secure storage facility.”
“Oh, I see,” I say, feeling a bit more reassured. “Client secure storage facility” sounds pretty good. Like some underground system with coded locks and infrared laser beams criss-crossing each other. “So…what does that consist of, exactly?”
“It’s a filing cabinet in the back office.” He wipes his glowing face with a handkerchief. “Locked every night by Wendy, our office manager. Now, to business.” He pulls a pad of foolscap toward him. “Let’s start at the beginning. You have concerns about your husband. You think he’s cheating on you.”
I have a sudden urge to cry out “No! Luke would never cheat on me!” and get up and run away.
But that would slightly defeat the point of coming here.
“I…don’t know,” I force myself to say. “Maybe. We’ve been married for a year and everything seemed great. But there’s this…woman. Venetia Carter. They had a relationship in the past, and now she’s come to London. He’s seeing a lot of her, and he’s all distant and snappy with me, and they send texts to each other in this code, and last night he…” I break off, breathing hard. “Anyway, I just want to find out what’s going on.”
“Of course you do,” says Dave Sharpness, scribbling. “Why should you have to put up with the uncertainty and pain anymore?”
“Exactly.” I nod.
“You want answers. Your instincts are telling you something’s wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.”
“That’s it!” God, he totally understands.
“All you want is ph
otographic proof of the illicit affair.”
“I…er…” I’m halted. I hadn’t really thought about photographic proof. All I’d thought about was getting a yes or no answer.
“Or video.” Dave Sharpness looks up. “We can put all the evidence on DVD for you.”
“DVD?” I echo, shocked. Maybe I haven’t thought this plan through. Am I really going to hire someone to tail Luke with a video camera? What if he found out?
“Couldn’t you just tell me if he’s having an affair or not?” I suggest. “Without taking any pictures or video?”
Dave Sharpness raises his eyebrows. “Mrs. Brandon, believe me. When we uncover the proof, you’re going to want to see it with your own eyes.”
“You mean…if you discover any proof. I’ve probably got it all wrong! It’s probably all perfectly…” I trail off at his expression.
“First rule of matrimonial investigation,” he says with a lugubrious smile. “The ladies very rarely get it wrong. Feminine intuition, you see.”
This guy is an expert. He should know.
“So you think…” I lick my suddenly dry lips. “Do you really think…”
“I don’t think,” says Dave Sharpness with a small flourish. “I discover. Whether it’s one lady he’s dallying with, or two, or a whole string of them, myself and my operatives will find out and furnish you with whatever proof you need.”
“He’s not dallying with a whole string of ladies!” I say in horror. “I know he isn’t! It’s just this one specific woman, Venetia Carter—” I stop as Dave Sharpness lifts a reproving finger.