The Love And Loss of Joshua James (The Cattleman's Daughters: Companion Book 3)

by Danni Roan

  Joshua knew that Benji had never truly gotten over Jerusalem's rejection, but had watched his best friend pour himself into building the Broken J and making it prosperous. Somehow Benji seemed at peace here in the wilds of Wyoming.

  Even the state itself was growing. Cattle was becoming a big business, as was sheep and wool. Men were finding that the grazing and usually mild winters were conducive to growing a herd. Wyoming was a full-blown territory now, with a governor and as of last year, women had the right to vote. He'd even read in a paper delivered by a supply train that a woman had become a Justice of the Peace.

  "Hi Pa!" Katie called excitedly, skipping along toward him, a long braid hanging down her back.

  Joshua reached out his hand and she slipped her smaller one in his. She'd grown so much.

  "Where's Meg and Fiona?" Joshua asked.

  "Meg's playing with Fiona in the house," Katie replied, "but I'm helpin' uncle Benji with the wood. He even gave me some gloves ta wear."

  Joshua chuckled at the girl’s determination, but was pleased that she was interested in every aspect of the ranch.

  "Pa," Katie spoke again, "Uncle Deeks said that Spider's all trained up now, do you think he's alright for Fiona to ride?" Her voice was serious and full of concern.

  "Hm," Joshua scratched his chin, thinking. "Well I reckon that you and Meg better try him out a bit before we let Fiona ride on her own. You girls have become very good horse women with the ponies your Uncle Brion gave you, so why don't you be the judge?"

  Katie smiled, her sun-kissed face bright with delight. When had she grown so tall? She was nearly ten already and he couldn't believe how quickly the time had flown. He was truly a blessed man.

  ***

  "I'll be up in a minute," Cammy said as Joshua rolled out of bed at the break of dawn.

  "Take your time," Joshua spoke, leaning down and kissing her on the brow. "Katie and Billy are making breakfast today, I think." He ran a hand over her forehead. "You feel kinda warm, darlin'," he said, concern filling his voice. "I'll send your Ma in to check on you."

  "Don't do that," she chided, "you know how she fusses. I think I'm just coming down with that cold the twins had last week." She smiled sleepily. "I'll be up in a minute."

  By lunch time, Cammy's fever was raging as her mother tried to get some chicken soup into her. Her eyes were shiny and sweat beaded her brow.

  "Has she complained of feeling poorly at all, Joshua?" Nona asked, her eyes worried.

  "No, she seemed right as rain yesterday. Do you think I should send for the doctor?" he asked, wringing his hands nervously.

  "We'll see if her fever breaks tonight, then if it doesn't you send for the doc."

  "I'll be fine," Cammy said weakly, a soft cough shaking her.

  Joshua smiled down at her. "I know you will be, darlin', just get some rest." But as he walked back out into the warm afternoon sun, worry gnawed at his belly.

  He stood on the porch watching as Katie led Spider along, with Meg and Fiona perched on his saddle. The dark, sleek, gray gelding moved smoothly along behind his daughter. He had the placid temperament of his mother, with just a bit of youthful perk in his step.

  "Look at me, Papa," Fiona called, smiling brightly as she patted the horse’s black mane.

  Movement along the trail to the mountains caught Joshua's eye and he watched as a string of horses wended their way along the prairie trail. He was surprised to see Brion coming down so early in the summer, but was pleased at the same time.

  "Who's coming, Pa?" Katie asked. She'd stopped the horse and had turned around to watch the riders approach.

  "Looks like Uncle Brion and Aunt Winny," Joshua said. "Why don't we ride out and meet them?"

  He lifted Katie up behind Meg on the leggy horse, and crossed to the barn where he quickly saddled a tall bay and joined the girls. Together they started down the trail.

  Joshua rode slowly toward Brion and Winny, letting the girls take their time guiding Spider along the trail.

  “Brion,” he called as they approached, “it’s good to see you.”

  “Aye, good to see you as well, Josh. I’ve brought ya a few more ponies.” He stretched his hand behind him to indicate a string of seven horses of varying color. “Figured with them cows spreading’ across the prairie, you’ll need new mounts.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

  “Is everything alright?” Josh asked. He would have thought his brother-in-law would have arrived later in the fall.

  “We just come to see you all,” Winny answered. She smiled at the girls, who reigned their mount in next to hers. “The girls are getting so big.”

  “I’m learning ta herd cows,” Katie said brightly. “Uncle Walt’s been teachin’ me.”

  “Ya don’t say?” Brion offered in mock surprise.

  “Yep, and Meg’s ridin’ really well, too.”

  “I am,” Meg responded.

  “And me,” Fiona piped up, nodding her head and making her mass of dark curls bob.

  “You girls must be a real help to your pa,” Brion laughed.

  Slowly they made their way to ranch house, the girls chattering excitedly with their aunt, while Joshua dropped back for a quiet talk with Brion.

  “Everything alright up there?” he asked, tilting his head in the direction of the mountains.

  “Aye, we’re doing well. Sheep numbers are up and the goats are workin’ out well for Winny’s kin. They have blankets and other products from the wool and milk, and are able to sell or trade some of it with a post on the other side o’ the Wind River Range.”

  “Glad you’re doing well,” Joshua commented, lifting his eyes to the house as they ambled into the ranch yard.

  Walters meandered out of the barn and took the lead line from Brion. “Good lookin’ stock,” he commented, looking down the line.

  “You see that little palomino at the end?” Brion asked, swinging down and shaking the other man’s hand. “That’s a little present for Katie,” he said quietly, laying a finger alongside of his nose. “Keep him close until we’re ready to tell her, will ye?”

  Walters smiled brightly. “I sure will, and that girl will be thrilled to have a pony of her own. She already rides out with her pa most days.”

  The house was quiet as the party approached. As they entered the front door, Winny turned into the right-hand room without a word.

  “Come on into the kitchen,” Josh offered, “I’m sure Nona will have coffee on the stove.”

  As they entered the long, open room, they found Issy sitting at the table with the twins, helping them with their lunch.

  “Bianca’s in with Cammy,” Isadoro said, handing a glass of milk to Alexis, whose face was smeared with jam. He lifted worried eyes to the others.

  “I’ll get some more lunch together,” Katie offered, looking around the kitchen at the things that were already laid out and ready. “There’s plenty of bread and cold venison for sandwiches. Meggie, run down and get a jar of Nona’s hot pickles,” she added, nodding toward the door in the hall that led to the root cellar.

  “Thank ya darlin’,” Brion said, kissing Katie on the head and making her roll her eyes.

  Soon they were sitting around the table drinking coffee and eating sandwiches, as the other men trickled in a little at a time.

  “So what really brings you down so early this year?” Josh asked, studying his brother-in-law’s ruddy face.

  “Winny said she wanted to come, so we just packed up and moved. Plus, I had them horses ready for ya.”

  “You’ve been getting some fine stock out of your horses up there,” Josh said.

  “It’s a good place to breed sturdy stock, but you need horses here and someday you’ll be doing the same here.”

  “I suppose that’s true.”

  ***

  “She knew, didn’t she Grandpa?” Eric’s gentle voice rumbled, pulling Joshua back from long-gone years. “Aunt Winny, I mean. She knew about Cammy, didn’t she?”

  �
��Winny has a strange connection to this world that lets her know when someone needs her,” Joshua said. “I think she knew we’d need her and Brion.”

  “How’d you get over it, Grandpa? How’d you keep going after your second wife was gone? It just don’t seem fair.”

  Joshua James lifted a shriveled hand that wavered a bit as he rested it on Eric’s wide shoulder. “Life’s not about fair, son,” he said gently. “It’s about getting on and doing your best, no matter what.”

  He was quiet for a long time before he spoke again. “The last thing that Cammy told me was that she loved me and was sorry to go. She said that I wasn’t to leave our girls behind once she was gone.”

  “She was a good woman, wasn’t she?”

  “She was, and kind beyond belief, kinda like Fiona in that way. I can’t say I understood what she meant about the girls at the time, but I learned quick enough.”

  “What did you do after she passed, grandpa?”

  “I worked,” Joshua replied, looking out across the ranch he’d built with his friends and family with tired eyes. “I worked.”

  Chapter 22

  Joshua threw a leg over the big buckskin horse and turned his back on the house and the freshly turned grave under the cottonwoods. He felt numb as he laid heels to the horse and headed out into the grasslands.

  Throwing himself into the work of the ranch and to herding the cattle that covered his range kept him busy and away from the house, but more importantly the silence of an empty bed each night.

  When he could, he slept on the prairie with the distant yaps of coyotes a chorus for his troubled heart.

  Isadoro, Billy and Nona, still dealing with their own grief, tended the house and the girls while Joshua’s hair grew long and his eyes grew hard.

  He’d returned from a turn through a big herd of longhorns that would be gathered in their first real spring round-up to the house to find the twins clinging to their grandmother when he stomped into the house.

  He hardly knew the little girls who blinked at him with wide, dark chocolate eyes. Something seemed to kick him in the heart and a moment later the sounds of light boots on the plank floor had him turning to see Katie striding toward him, dressed in a long-sleeved shirt, boots and a wide-brimmed hat.

  “Hi, Pa,” she said brightly, “I see you made it home.” Her green eyes flashed with something dark he didn’t recognize. He was surprised when she came to stand next to him and stood a head taller than he remembered from before.

  “Give your Pa a kiss,” Nona chided, giving the twins a little shove toward him. Isabella stepped out and kissed his grizzled cheek, but Alexis stood back, studying him.

  He scratched his chin. He hadn’t been gone more than a week this time, so why did things seem so different?

  “Joshua James,” Nona’s eyes flashed as she placed her hands on her hips. “You have been gone for three weeks with nary a word to any of us.” She scowled at him and beneath the indignation, he could see the pain.

  “I…” he rubbed his whiskers again, but found he had no words.

  “It’s alright, Pa,” Katie stepped up and took his hand. “You’re here now.”

  Joshua didn’t speak, he simply stood staring at the women in his life, bewildered and out of place.

  “Papa!” Fiona came running through the back door and threw herself at him. Still stunned, he bent and picked up the four-year-old who hugged him tight. “I missed you Pa, where you been?”

  Joshua hung his head, suddenly realizing that he’d let his grief take him away from his children, who needed him.

  “I’ve been away,” he offered lamely. Slowly he slid to his knees, still holding Fiona tightly, and stretched out an arm to the twins, who came willingly to him this time. “I miss Mama, too,” Fiona finally said, sidling to make room for her little sisters, “but she’s in heaven with the angles so I won’t feel sorry for her.”

  A single tear slid down Joshua’s face as the pain in his heart throbbed once more. “I miss her too,” he said.

  “We all do, Pa,” Meg’s voice filled the room, and he turned to see the slim girl with the dark chestnut hair walk in and place a hand on his shoulder. “But we can all miss her together and remember her together to. None of us is alone.”

  Nona had started crying now, and Joshua moved to the older woman, wrapping her in his big arms. “I’m sorry, Nona,” he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on her head. “I guess I forgot we were all in this together.”

  “That’s right,” Bianca Leone said, patting him on the arm. “Now go get washed up, you smell.”

  Joshua stood under the pump by the well, dousing himself with cold water until he shivered. His hair was long and hung in his eyes as he gazed along the back of the property toward the bunk house.

  “It sure would be nice to have some place to wash up,” he said, looking at the bare green grass of the yard.

  Slicking his hair back over his head, he turned and walked, dripping, back into the house to find his father-in-law and discuss a plan.

  Perhaps he had been away too long and if he had a need to work, surely Cammy would be proud of him making their home the best it could be for all of the girls.

  “Issy?” he called as he walked through the kitchen. “Where’s Is?” he asked Nona as she stood peeling potatoes by a galvanized tub.

  “The barn,” she said and turned back to her work.

  “Joshua, you’re home,” Isadoro Leone said, rising from a stool in the shadow of the barn. He’d been carving a small piece of wood into something that resembled a horse.

  “I am, and I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long. I didn’t realize…” he finished, dropping his head.

  “We’re all hurting,” Isadoro spoke gently. “We all have different ways of dealing with it.”

  “That’s kinda what I came to talk to you about,” Joshua said, turning over a crate and taking a seat. “I’ve got a project in mind, if you think we can do it.”

  “What is it?” Isadoro looked at him curiously.

  “I’d like to build a bathhouse,” Joshua stated flatly. “One with what my Pa would have called a sauna.”

  “Go on.”

  ***

  “You riding out, Pa?” Katie asked as Joshua headed to the barn. The tall, lean cattleman chuckled slightly. “Why, you coming?” he asked sardonically.

  “Yep,” the girl replied. At eleven she was already growing tall, and her blonde locks had darkened to a honey gold. She was wearing her usual trousers and long shirt over boots. “This is my home, too, and I’m gonna learn everything I can to help us make a living.”

  “Sometimes I think you’re far too serious,” Joshua said walking, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

  “I’m the oldest Pa, I have to take things seriously,” she said. “Meg, Fiona and the twins will learn, too, but it’s my job to get started.”

  “I guess I can’t argue with that,” Joshua said, breaking off and gathering up his horse. “I think we’ll ride south today and see what we see.”

  “I like the spring time, Pa,” Katie reflected as she slid a bridle over her pony’s head. “I think Pal does, too.” She patted the palomino’s shoulder as she tossed a blanket on his back. She’d become proficient in saddling her own horse.

  Together they turned along the trail headed south. The Broken J cattle could range far and wide across the prairie and it was constant work to keep tabs on where they were. Riding with Katie had become second nature. She didn’t seem to mind the long silences that often accompanied them, but was also curious and willing to learn new things.

  “Uncle Walt’s been teaching me to rope,” she said out of the blue as they rode out of an old wash.

  Joshua shook his head. “Pretty soon you’ll be as good a hand as the rest of us,” he chuckled.

  “I hope so.”

  “You know you’re a girl, don’t you?” Joshua asked, half seriously. “I mean, your Ma might think all this riding and cattle business isn’t fittin’ work
for a young lady.”

  Katie shrugged. “I remember Mam pretty well yet,” she began, “she always seemed more about what was practical than what was expected. I mean, sure I know I’m a girl and somedays it’s mighty nice just bein’ around the house with Nona or wearin’ a pretty dress, but I also like the open spaces and riding.”

  She paused for a moment, looking out over the prairie fresh with spring growth. “There’s more than enough of us to take care of the house and do the cooking, so why shouldn’t I be able to ride out with my father and do what needs done?”

  They rode on a while, both deep in their own thoughts, Joshua wishing Katie could have had a different life with fancy parties and pretty friends.

  “I know it’s not been easy, Pa, with everything that’s happened, and sometimes I feel awful sad about Ma and Cammy, but you know Pa, this world sure is beautiful in its own way. All I want to do is live the best way I can and be useful.”

  Joshua hung his head as they rode on. How could a slip of a girl still have such hope in a world that had robbed her of not one, but two, loving mothers? He was humbled by her words and determined to do better.

  “What’s that, Pa?” Katie called, pointing across an open field.

  Joshua pushed himself up in his stirrups to see better and could just make out two dark forms moving along through the grass.

  “Looks like travelers,” he said, sliding back in his saddle. “Strange to see just two people all the way out here on their own, though.”

  “Where are their horses?” Katie asked, turning her head as if searching for the animals in question.

  “Don’t look like they have any.” Joshua pushed his hat back and scratched his brow. “We’ll ride over and see if they need any help.”

  Katie kicked Pal in to an easy trot before her father had finished speaking. “Hello!” she called, skimming over the grass.

  The two figures stopped, dropping heavy sacks they had on their backs, and looked toward the riders.

  As he approached, Joshua could see that they both wore some sort of loose trousers with a long jacket over top and strange conical hats. As he studied them, it dawned on him that the two strangers were Chinese.