Friend

by Paek Nam-nyong

Yoon Hee continued, “Comrade Eun Ok is majoring in biology through the long-distance education program. She’s here for only a couple of days. She came up from her hometown in Yeonsudeok.”

  “Is that right?” said Jeong Jin Wu with keen interest. “You’ve come a long way to be here. Yeonsudeok is about, what, seventy miles away, right?”

  Yun Hee bemusedly stared at Jeong Jin Wu, who was acting overtly genteel toward Eun Ok.

  “But you know,” Yun Hee interrupted, “Comrade Eun Ok has a few remarks about your thesis, Comrade Jin Wu.”

  “Oh, does she? Please, tell me,” said Jeong Jin Wu.

  Eun Ok blushed. She looked at Jeong Jin Wu and then quickly averted her eyes.

  “No,” said Eun Ok. “I really don’t have an opinion. Comrade Yun Hee is just—”

  “They say if you have any advice to give, don’t withhold it,” interrupted Jeong Jin Wu.

  “I think your thesis was well written,” Eun Ok said reassuringly.

  Yun Hee grabbed her friend’s arm and said, “My goodness, dear. You were muttering something during the talk. If you have nothing to say, then let’s go.”

  “I’m sorry,” Eun Ok replied, directed at both Yun Hee and Jeong Jin Wu.

  The two women walked out of the conference hall.

  Jeong Jin Wu did not have a moment to think about Eun Ok that evening. After his talk, he had to attend a meeting to discuss and evaluate another comrade’s thesis. However, the next day at the University Park, Jeong Jin Wu inadvertently ran into Eun Ok.

  It was a brisk autumn morning. Jeong Jin Wu was taking a stroll on the University Park trail. He enjoyed the serenity of the park and the refreshing air. He had come out of his dormitory with a book under his arm, but he was so captivated by the morning atmosphere that he tilted his head back and walked leisurely, appreciating the simple wonders of nature.

  As the fog hidden among the trees slowly dissipated, a ray of morning sunlight traversed the vast forest of tall deciduous trees and verdurous pine trees. The kaleidoscopic hues of the luminous autumn leaves were sublime. In the stillness, the sound of falling leaves resembled a fledgling spreading its wings in preparation for an ascent. A thick blanket of golden leaves covered the trail. A rich, natural aroma from foliage steeped in the damp soil and the fragrance of dried leaves permeated the entire park. A young bird woke from its sleep, flew over Jeong Jin Wu’s head, and then vanished beyond the tree line.

  Jeong Jin Wu saw Eun Ok sitting on a bench under a large oak tree. She was reading a book and scrupulously underlining in it, absorbed in her own world and oblivious to her natural surroundings.

  Jeong Jin Wu approached her without even thinking about whether he would be intruding on her reading.

  Eun Ok lifted her head and was alarmed by the presence of another person. As soon as Eun Ok realized it was Jeong Jin Wu, she blushed. But the surprise in her eyes was mixed with a warm invitation.

  “May I sit?”

  “Please,” responded Eun Ok. She tried to clear some of the leaves off the bench, but Jeong Jin Wu sat down without wasting a moment.

  The two hesitated, and instead of speaking, listened to the ambient sounds of the park.

  Jeong Jin Wu broke the silence. “Yesterday, you had some remarks about my thesis, right? Would you share them with me?”

  Eun Ok did not respond and tried to keep her eyes from meeting Jeong Jin Wu’s.

  “Please, anything,” Jeong Jin Wu urged.

  “What can a biology student say about a legal thesis?”

  Eun Ok was no longer blushing and returned to the serious expression she had worn during the talk.

  “In any event, I want to hear what you have to say,” said Jeong Jin Wu in a modest but obstinate manner.

  Eun Ok put her book down and twirled a leaf that had just fallen from the tree. Innumerable golden leaves sprinkled the landscape as the wind blew them off their swaying branches. Birds that had woken up from their deep slumber chirped lazily. In the misty maroon morning, golden rays of sunlight penetrated between the tree branches, and the silver fog that had covered the trees slowly crawled up to the treetops and vanished in the blue sky.

  Eun Ok finally gave in and spoke. “My father was a member of the People’s Justice Association, so I read many of his books at home out of sheer interest. I just read whatever I could get a hold of in his library, which would explain my limited knowledge of the law. So there’s really nothing that I can say about your talk.”

  Eun Ok looked at Jeong Jin Wu and smiled like a schoolgirl, coy and innocent. “But if you insist. After listening to your senior thesis—”

  Her voice became incrementally more serious and contemplative. “I guess I don’t have to tell you about how well you did, based on the thunderous applause that you received last night. What I wanted to add was that your thesis was not filled with legal jargon, but you tried to reveal some of the historical problems that we need to be aware of. I learned a lot from you. It may have been better, though, if you accentuated its relation to law a bit more.”

  Eun Ok continued by saying that historians had already researched the general idea of marriage in relation to the problem of the family in the past century, particularly regarding the social aspects of reproduction, changes in economics, and marriage. She suggested that a study of the ethical relationship between psychological and historical aspects would have made Jeong Jin Wu’s argument stronger. Eun Ok added that by trying to reveal all the problems in human history, Jeong Jin Wu’s analysis was a simple generalization. Instead of reiterating past contradictory problems and discussing issues beyond the relationship between ethics and morals, a psychological analysis of married couples would encourage the people of this nation to improve and strengthen their own marriages and families.

  “Since you’re considering the history of marriage from the point of view of the law, don’t you think it’s that much more important to examine it from the psychoanalytical perspective? Don’t you think it’s the people’s ceaseless renewal of the mind, effort, and struggle that create tradition, lifestyle, and customs, the things that the law cannot disregard?” Eun Ok stopped, fearing she had spoken too honestly about his paper.

  Jeong Jin Wu was pleasantly shocked by her critical response and could not keep his eyes off her.

  The mild glow of the morning sunlight reflected off Eun Ok’s deep eyes. It was as if her entire body exuded the fragrance of the autumn forest.

  Jeong Jin Wu had first thought of Eun Ok as quite ordinary, but her acute intelligence and angelic face made him more attracted to her.

  “Although I want to offer my rebuttal to your argument, I can’t. Your theoretical thoughts have given me a fresh perspective,” said Jeong Jin Wu.

  “You don’t have to take my comments seriously,” added Eun Ok.

  “No, you’re absolutely right,” Jeong Jin Wu corrected. “It’s clear you are well-read, and I truly admire that.”

  Eun Ok humbly remained silent.

  That afternoon, Jeong Jin Wu spent many hours in the corner of the library revising his thesis by including an appendix that Eun Ok had recommended.

  “… The accomplishments of humanity, high productive capacity, and economic progress became the foundation of man’s ethical progress, and this advanced the noble human emotions. Although the primitive age had a lower form of human emotions, such as love, responsibility, respect, anxiety, humiliation, fear, conscience, virtue, etc., these ethical concepts began to flourish beginning in that era. Maternal instincts are considered a higher grade of emotion and could have caused clans to evolve in a progressive direction. But when man dominated the family and demanded certain emotional responses from his children, the communal marriage system could not progress. The need to pass down property to their progeny occupied and dominated the ethics of that era. However, this was based on a ‘life or death’ system of ethics, which reveals the psychological instincts of even men. The transformation of this form of man into a loving father to his children with
developed paternal instincts required thousands of years. During the long passage of time, all kinds of ethical reasoning and sentiments occurred, and as they became clearly divided and subdivided, humanity’s psychological life increased. This was one of the determining factors in a marriage. That is why exogamous and monogamous relationships were no longer seen as relationships meant only for survival or economics but for ethicality … However, the process of developing human psychology did not always progress so smoothly. Since the ancient past, man’s conflicts, contradictions, and solutions …”

  Jeong Jin Wu could not develop the scope of the topic for his thesis any further. He included the legal study of marriage relations and the first half of the psychoanalytical problem with the development of ethics and morals. He did not realize that his appendix could not substantiate a strong argument and that it was turning into an abstract theory. Researching the wider scope of historical and social materials and analyzing the law would require a tremendous amount of time and effort. He tried to rewrite the appendix in excellent penmanship because he realized that in order to present a scientific and theoretical argument, the story of the development of the consciousness of marriage relations needed to be written with patience. But Jeong Jin Wu rewrote the appendix hastily so that Eun Ok could read his revision. He could not suppress his desire to see her one last time.

  Jeong Jin Wu quickly gathered his thesis along with the appendix and went toward Eun Ok’s dormitory, where he ran into Yun Hee. She could not contain her curiosity and noticed that he was carrying his senior thesis and some other essay. Yun Hee perceived that Jeong Jin Wu was more interested in seeing Eun Ok than discussing his paper with her. She gave him the unfortunate news that Eun Ok had left for the station to take the late afternoon train back to her hometown. Jeong Jin Wu had only thirty minutes to make it to the station.

  He immediately hopped on a bus that was heading in that direction. As soon as he got off the bus, he raced to the turnstile, only to be met by a long line of travelers. The train howled as it approached the station. Jeong Jin Wu grew impatient and restless.

  Jeong Jin Wu searched frantically for Eun Ok amid the crowd on the platform. He identified her in a plain, dark gray fall suit. She had her luggage on one side and three flowerpots on the other. He shouted her name several times, hoping she would glance in his direction. Confused, Eun Ok turned and saw Jeong Jin Wu standing by the turnstile waving at her. She was shocked and hesitated to respond. Jeong Jin Wu then hopped over the turnstile and swiftly maneuvered his way through the crowd.

  Eun Ok asked warmly, “Did you come to meet someone?”

  “I came to see you, comrade,” responded Jeong Jin Wu excitedly.

  “Me?”

  “I revised my senior thesis, and I wanted you to take a look at it.”

  “What, now?”

  “That’s why I’m here!”

  Jeong Jin Wu knew that he was being dishonest with her. He blushed and rolled up his thesis.

  Eun Ok was taken aback. “You took my comments seriously? I don’t think I’m in any position to read your thesis. Besides—”

  Eun Ok could not find the words to complete her sentence, and as she strained to come up with an excuse, the screeching wheels of the incoming train defused the awkward moment. She stood aloof, trying to avoid looking at Jeong Jin Wu. The train shook the platform and brought with it a gush of wind. Eun Ok brushed her hair back in place and grabbed her luggage. With her left hand, she reached for the three flowerpots.

  Jeong Jin Wu sensed that Eun Ok knew that he had not come to the station just to show her his revised thesis but that he had come to see her. He was ashamed of bringing his thesis to her, so he put it in his back pocket and grabbed the flowerpots for her.

  She tried to prevent him from helping her. “No, I’m fine. I was going to put my luggage on board and come back for these.”

  “Comrade Eun Ok, it’s no trouble at all. Do you not like it when someone helps you?”

  Eun Ok could not respond to that statement and turned her eyes away.

  Jeong Jin Wu asked an ignorant question to clear the air.

  “What kinds of flowers are in these pots?”

  “They’re actually vegetables.”

  “Really?” asked Jeong Jin Wu, closely examining the soil in the pots. “So why are you taking vegetables back home?”

  “My hometown is Yeonsudeok, and, at the vegetable research institute, we’re conducting research on a new breed that can grow in high and unforgiving altitudes.”

  Jeong Jin Wu was secretly moved by Eun Ok’s noble research. He carried the flowerpots for her and followed behind her. He boarded the train and placed the flowerpots in the compartment above the seats.

  “Thank you,” said Eun Ok.

  “Please have a safe trip.”

  With those words, Jeong Jin Wu did not know whether to shake her hand as a customary farewell gesture between comrades. He did not want to appear too forward, so he waited for Eun Ok to make the first move. After an intolerable moment of uncomfortable silence, he realized that nothing was going to happen, so he hurriedly deboarded the train. He waved at Eun Ok from the platform, reassuring himself that it was an innocent and less awkward gesture. But to make matters worse, the train did not leave just yet. Jeong Jin Wu found himself waving more than he should have, so he disguised his embarrassment by burying his hands deep in his pockets and looking beyond the roof of the train to the distant clouds in the sky.

  An inexplicable impulse of anxiety surged from within Jeong Jin Wu. He felt as though someone precious was about to slip away, and the intensity of the pain was past enduring. But he didn’t know what to do; he felt utterly unfulfilled.

  As the train slowly departed, he looked at the window where he could see Eun Ok. She was not sitting in her seat but standing by the flowerpots. As the train passed Jeong Jin Wu, Eun Ok waved her hands but quickly lowered them so it wouldn’t seem like a departing gesture between lovers. She turned her head away. The train faded into the distance, but Jeong Jin Wu could not keep his eyes off the parallel tracks that stretched into the horizon.

  Deep in Jeong Jin Wu’s heart was the lasting image of beautiful Eun Ok. He could not forget her genuine, tenderhearted, and reticent personality. Jeong Jin Wu considered her disposition and her efforts toward her research to be more attractive than her eyes and rosy cheeks.

  About a year and a half later, Jeong Jin Wu was assigned to his hometown to preside over the Superior Court as the People’s Judge. He settled down in his new office and grew acquainted with his colleagues. Meanwhile, Jeong Jin Wu discovered that Eun Ok was working at a vegetable research facility in a suburb near the city. He decided to pay her a visit.

  Eun Ok received the news that Jeong Jin Wu was there to see her. She paused, hesitated for a moment, delighted and yet troubled at the same time. She plucked an unripe pear from one of the trees and went to the front entrance of the facility with a welcoming expression. She offered Jeong Jin Wu the pear, which was evidently hard and sour.

  Jeong Jin Wu proudly explained that he now worked as the People’s Judge at the Superior Court and attempted to keep the conversation light. He tried to avoid revealing the real reason for his visit and to prolong the transient moment he had with Eun Ok. But he grew impatient. It was not easy for Jeong Jin Wu to articulate his impassioned feelings for Eun Ok. Nonetheless, he took this opportunity to explain his feelings logically and rationally, like a veteran judge of the legal world.

  Eun Ok was surprised, not because she had not expected this from Jeong Jin Wu all along but because of his unabashed forwardness. She blushed, flashed a timid smile, and remained utterly speechless and motionless. Jeong Jin Wu invited her to watch a movie with him, but she kindly declined. He then asked if she would join him on an evening walk, but she declined that as well. Eun Ok scurried to find an excuse to return to the lab and left Jeong Jin Wu in unexpected stupefaction. First the shock, and then numbness spread across his body. He felt his legs go
limp and searched for something to keep himself from falling. Jeong Jin Wu needed a moment to regain his breath, his senses, and his composure. He felt utterly dejected but resolute.

  Jeong Jin Wu returned to the research lab a couple of days later, persistent in expressing his affection for Eun Ok.

  However, Eun Ok was not there. She had left for a field farther away at a much higher altitude. A young woman at the front desk recognized Jeong Jin Wu and handed him an envelope. It was a letter from Eun Ok.

  Jeong Jin Wu was impatient to read it, but he opened it with caution, hoping not to see the contents that would confirm his fears. She began with an apology for not speaking to Jeong Jin Wu in person and for expressing herself so bluntly. She proceeded to write about how flattered and overwhelmed she was to know that he loved her (if one could call that “love”) and that she did not know how to accept his feelings for her. She wrote that someone as ordinary as she, researching vegetables in a region with harsh conditions, does not deserve such love. The next few lines were sharp and cutting. She wrote that Jeong Jin Wu was wasting his time, particularly in the first few weeks of starting a new job, and that he should be more focused on his work instead of her.

  The letter was not even a page long, but it moved Jeong Jin Wu. Eun Ok considered Jeong Jin Wu’s love for her to be affectionless and a mere infatuation. Her insistence on ending all relations with him made him want her even more. Eun Ok was Jeong Jin Wu’s first love, a love that was pure and innocent. Days and months would pass before she finally opened her heart to him.

  Just days before they got married, Jeong Jin Wu and Eun Ok took a morning stroll in the suburbs of his hometown. The remnants of the long and blustery winter persisted in March.

  Eun Ok wore a thick wool overcoat and a scarf wrapped around her neck. With her leather boots, she walked delicately on the snowy path. Some of the long frills from her scarf rested on her shoulders, while others fell over her back and some on her chest.

  There were traces, myriad indistinguishable footprints, of people having walked on this snowy path. On some parts of the path, the snow had been trampled. On other parts of the path, the snow had melted and refrozen, making it shiny and slippery, like glass.