by A. R. Perry
We stand there in silence for a minute, the only sound coming from Shane’s harsh breathing.
“You’re right,” he whispers, the sincerity in his voice is surprising. “I’m sorry. It’s not my place. After hearing what they said I got worked up. Jay would kill me if something bad happened when I could have stopped it.”
I wish there was enough light to see his face because the pain lacing his voice makes me want to apologize even though there is nothing to apologize for. After all, he is the one acting like a colossal dick. Then it dawns on me—Jay. That’s what his whole outburst was about. Despite what happened between them he’s still taking protecting me as seriously as Jay.
“Can I drive you to camp?” he asks, breaking through my thoughts.
“I drove.”
“I’ll follow then.”
There’s no point in arguing. No way in hell will I return to the bonfire after that scene.
Together we walk up the slight hill to where I parked. My earlier adrenaline rush must have fled my body because now I’m exhausted. This will be a long three weeks if Shane and I can’t figure out a way to get along. It must be hard being around me since I remind him of Jay, but we need to move past that if we both want to stay sane.
When we reach Sunshine, I prop the door open and turn to him. “I don’t know what went down between you and Jay, but I’m sorry for whatever it was.”
In the soft light spilling out from my interior, he studies my face. He no longer looks angry. In fact, he seems about as worn-out as I feel.
No reason to hash it out tonight.
I slip into the seat and slide the key into the ignition. With the turn of my wrist, I’m met with nothing. Utter silence. Not even the telltale clicking of the starter trying to do its thing. Panic rising, I try again. Still nothing.
Perfect.
So now the universe is saying it didn’t have my back earlier. All of this was a sick cosmic joke.
“Problem?” Shane leans into the cabin.
“Won’t start.”
His snort holds the tiniest laugh. “Didn’t I say not to buy this hunk of junk?”
I pet the steering wheel, offended for her. “Sunshine is not a hunk of junk. The starter has some trouble, well, starting sometimes.”
“It sounds dead.”
“She’s tired.”
This time Shane full-on laughs. “I’ll drive and call a tow tomorrow.”
“I’m not leaving her. Anything could happen.”
“So, you’re going to camp out here for the night, then?”
My mouth drops open, but nothing comes out.
He nods to the other side of the road. “Come on. No one will want that, anyway.”
“Okay, that’s just rude,” I yell.
What I want to do is stay here to prove a point. But all that will do is get me kicked out of camp with no way home. With injured pride, I walk to a shiny silver Ford pickup parked away from the rest of the cars.
He opens the passenger door and I hop in, avoiding his stare. My car had to die, adding insult to injury. Now he thinks I’m some dumb kid sister-type who needs rescuing from a big bad party and who owns an unreliable car. A car he did warn me not to buy when I was sixteen.
His car turns over with ease, adding another layer to this crappy night.
Camp is only a ten-minute drive away, but I have an inkling ten minutes will feel like an eternity if one of us doesn’t say something. God, anything to break this weird tension that took over the second the doors shut.
It’s never been like this between us. In fact, he always had my back when Jay would go off about not wanting his little sister hanging around. Sometimes he won those fights, most times he lost, but he was always there in my corner. Then he was gone.
“Hey—”
“I wanted—”
We both look at each other and laugh. Neither of us could ever take silence for that long.
“Go ahead.” I motion. He might as well spit out whatever he has to say before I come in with the whole doom and gloom that was his relationship with Jay. But we need to hash it out if we plan on getting along this summer—that much is clear.
“I wanted to apologize for earlier. When you first got here…”
“Oh.” I nod, remembering the sadness that swirled in my tummy from the look he gave me.
“I was going to talk to you in the parking lot but…” he says, waving behind him.
“But the party came up.”
“Yeah, and then—”
“You went into crazy protective mode.”
He laughs. “Something like that.”
I shift in my seat, not sure if I’m ready to hear why he and my brother stopped being friends. What if it’s something that changes how I see Jay? Or for that matter, Shane.
“I understand your feelings for me are confusing because of Jay.”
Next to me he stiffens, confirming my thoughts. Being around me is hard because I remind him of Jay. Of their lost friendship. That’s what he will always see when he looks at me now.
He glances over at me. “Lyla—”
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a black mass hurtling at us seconds before the truck jolts and fishtails, skidding to the side of the dirt road in a whirlwind of dust and horrible crunching metal noises.
It all happened so fast. One second we’re driving, and the next we’re in a ditch with smoke billowing from the hood. My hand flies to my chest, clutching at the loose fabric of my T-shirt as my heart thuds underneath it so hard I’m certain it’s going to rip from my chest.
“Are you okay?” Shane slides across the bench seat, his hands gliding up my arms as he twists me to check for any injuries. When he reaches my face, he tugs it toward him.
If my heart wasn’t already going crazy, it is now. His blue eyes are wild as they scan every part of my face. But there’s something else there. Something I can’t put my finger on, but whatever it is sends a weird thrill through my stomach.
“I’m okay,” I stutter, reaching up to cup one of his hands where it still rests on my cheek. “Are you okay?”
He shakes his head, tugging me toward him in one rough movement. My arms wrap around his neck, returning the bone-crushing hug. We’re okay. This could have been a hell of a lot worse. And now I could kick myself for wanting to sneak out. The camp has rules for a reason and getting taken out by local wildlife is probably one of the big things they try to avoid.
As my breathing evens out, I lean backward. I need to call Scar and let her know what happened. We need to check how bad the truck is damaged. His poor shiny truck. If I had been driving my car, I would have been toast, so maybe the universe was looking out for me.
My train of thought is derailed when Shane’s grip on me tightens. I glance up into his still-frantic eyes, and that’s when I notice his breathing hasn’t calmed down at all. Still frantic. Still coming in sharp bursts. God, he’s got to be so pissed at me now. His truck would have been fine if—
Shane’s lips press into mine, warm and soft but with a demanding edge that leaves me dizzy. I’ve kissed plenty of boys over the years but nothing could prepare me for the fluttery sensation in the pit of my stomach when he captures my bottom lip between his and sucks, emitting a low growl that sounds as if it started somewhere deep in his soul and spent years trying to escape.
Before my shock has the chance to wear off…before I even make a move to kiss him back, a horn honks, piercing the almost silent night with the shrill noise and he’s gone. Back to his side of the truck, hands gripping the steering wheel so tight I can see them turning white in the pale moonlight.
Did I just imagine that?
If my lips weren’t still tingling, I might have believed that my mind made up some crazy story in a panic-induced hallucination. But it happened. My brother’s ex-best friend kissed me and it didn’t feel as if it was some thank God we’re alive kiss. It felt like something more.
I just can’t decide what the hell it means to me.
No.
God, I can’t believe I did that.
I stare at my hands gripping the steering wheel, hoping, praying I hallucinated or bumped my head in the crash.
But no amount of denial will erase the memory of my lips on hers—something I’ve dreamed about for years. Almost as many times as I swore I’d never follow through because this is Jay’s little sister I’m fantasizing about.
His gorgeous, funny, sexy sister.
Nope. Those kinds of thoughts do not mix well with Lyla—the girl who once ate a mud pie at Jay’s urging. The girl he made me promise to stay away from. The girl who ended our friendship because I couldn’t keep that promise. And if someone hadn’t interrupted, there is no telling what I would have done.
If someone saw…well, I’ll be out of here faster than a snap of Mr. River’s fingers.
I smack my forehead against the steering wheel and wish away the situation.
“What…was that?” Lyla asks, her voice tight.
Too scared to look up and confirm what must be shock and disgust on her face, I glance out the side window into the darkness. “That was adrenaline and a huge mistake.”
A mistake that will never happen again, no matter how right she felt in my arms.
With the weight of her stare on me, I slide out of the truck and into the night air. This is Lyla and she’ll want more of an answer, but right now there are bigger problems. Like the smoke that shouldn’t be coming out from under the crinkled hood and the deflated front tire, which means we won’t be driving anywhere soon.
The passenger side door opens and closes as I’m crouched down inspecting the damage on the front bumper. There’s a dent large enough to tweak the hood. Best guess is we hit a deer. And deer and vehicles don’t mix well.
When I sense her presence behind me, I stand and squeeze my neck. This isn’t getting fixed tonight. I already planned on calling a tow for her piece of crap, so I guess I’ll be adding my truck to the list. What fun that will be to explain to Mr. River.
“Think it’s fixable?”
Judging from the amount of damage, I’m not sure if a mechanic can fix it. I shake my head and grip the bumper. A soft breeze ruffles my hair and brings with it the intoxicating scent of whatever Lyla has on. It filled my truck earlier. Filled my senses, making me dizzy, and making me do stupid things.
Things I want to do again and again and again because I will never tire of the way her lips felt against mine.
Shit. I need to get out of here.
“Guess we’re walking.” I motion toward camp. The last thing I need right now is to walk alone with Lyla. I’ve had enough alone time with her, and clearly, I can’t control myself. But we’re out of options. And hey, maybe I’ll stay occupied, so I don’t do something else I’ll regret.
Because I do regret it. Without saying a word, I can tell she does too. I meant what I said earlier. The kiss was a mistake, no matter how much my heart and the rest of my body tries to disagree. The way she accepted my excuse so easily is enough to let me know she does not see me the same way I see her.
She nods once, her lower lip sliding back and forth between her teeth before turning and walking off the way we were heading
It shouldn’t take too long to walk the rest of the way, but I’m certain we will arrive close to midnight unless one of the counselors heads up this way and gives us a ride. Though judging from the expressions on their faces when I stomped over and demanded Lyla leave, they would most likely leave me in the dust and take her back alone.
Not that I blame them.
“You know,” she says after a few minutes of awkward silence where I’m very interested in the ground. “Now would be the perfect time to talk. Clear the air.”
“This is the cleanest air you’ll ever breathe in California,” I shoot back.
She laughs and bumps into me with her shoulder. “Be serious.”
“That’s my only setting.” Which is the truth for the most part. I’ve always been way too serious for my own good. But if there ever was someone who could pull me out of my shell, make me act my age, it was Lyla.
“Come on.” Her hand on my shoulder makes me stop. I don’t look at her. I can’t, but I still sense her eyes on me. “You haven’t spoken to me in years and then you kiss me?”
“I…” I scrub a hand down my face. This is not how I thought my night—shit, my summer would go. “It was a mistake, like I said.”
When she’s says nothing, I glance up and am sucked into those big blue eyes of hers as the moonlight glints off them. She watches me, and I swear she sees right through my defenses. But then she nods.
“Okay. Call it a mistake. Chalk it up to adrenaline or whatever.” She throws her hands up in the air and walks away. “Just don’t let it happen again. Jay will kill you if he ever finds out.”
My face pales and for once tonight I’m thankful no one else is around to witness my humiliation. There’s no way she understands how close she struck to home. How Jay had said the same thing all those years ago when I admitted how I felt about Lyla.
You’re not good enough for her. And you never will be.
Those were his exact words after I spilled my heart to him. And at the time he might not have been wrong. I was stupid and childish in high school, bouncing from one girl to the next without ever settling down for too long. I blame it on hormones and the fact that I wasn’t the most attractive kid on the planet until I hit a growth spurt. But it stung like hell to have my best friend say those things. To tell me he would never let it happen so I might as well give up. But I didn’t. I pushed the subject, convinced if he gave the idea a chance he would come around. Instead, it ruined our twelve-year friendship.
Jay was always so protective, but I never thought it would come to that. Never thought it would end up being me versus her. The last day we spoke, Jay saw me talking to Lyla in the hall. In choice words, he told me if I ever went near her again, he would make sure no one ever found my body.
So, I honored the memory of our friendship and kept my distance. Which was difficult when we all attended the same school. It took weeks for Lyla to understand she wouldn’t have to choose. I chose for her, and she was taking her brother’s side. After that, there were no more longing glances in the hall. No sad smiles. I disappeared from her radar.
Then I moved and everything got easier with distance. Not in a million years did I ever think I would be in a car alone with her on some deserted road. Guess my restraint only goes so far.
Now she just gave me an out. I won’t tell her agreeing with me about it being a mistake didn’t sting, ‘cause it did. But she’s letting it slide. Forgiving me for losing my sense back there and moving on.
I can do that. I have to do that. Even if it takes every ounce of restraint I possess. I can keep my distance for these next three weeks. Then all I have to do is avoid her for the next year until she ships off to college.
“Look, I’m sorry you and Jay had a falling-out.” She holds up a hand, expecting my response and squashing it before it can leave my mouth. “You don’t have to tell me what happened, but you can’t go around acting all…brotherly.”
Ha. Being any type of brotherly figure has never crossed my mind, but I sure as hell won’t be telling her that.
“I have one of those and he’s annoying enough. But I would like to be friends again. I know it will be hard because I remind you of Jay, but can we just start with you not being a jackass and go from there?”
I laugh, I can’t help it. Only Lyla can get away with being so damn blunt. She glances up at me and smiles, the moonlight above casting an angel-like glow to her hair. I swallow hard, my throat cramping from the tension still tightening my muscles.
Just friends with Lyla? Is that something I have in me?
Before I answer, a throat clears behind me. I glance over my shoulder into a bright light and my stomach turns to stone, dropping until all the air leaves my lungs. Crap. I didn’t realize we made it back to camp.
Mr. R
iver flicks his gaze between the two of us and nods to his office, heading that way before the shock has time to wear off either of us.
Lyla lets out a stuttered breath and swings her wide eyes my way. “I can’t get sent home,” she whispers. “My mom will kill me. I need this on my college applications. And I need a summer away from her.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.” But even as I say it my brain is tripping all over itself trying to figure out what I can do to keep her here. There isn’t much. Breaking curfew is one of the biggest sins you could commit in Mr. River’s eyes. His entire job is to make sure everyone is safe, and he can’t very well do that when we’re out running around in the middle of nowhere.
Lyla reaches out and squeezes my hand. I feel it all the way in my chest.
“It will be fine,” I say right as we step into Mr. River’s office.
Even I can hear the lie in my words.
Scarlett stares at me wide-eyed as I shove all my stuff into my blue duffel bag. Everyone else is already at breakfast, but she hung back to help. And by help, I mean apologize over and over for dragging me out.
Last night Shane promised everything would be fine. It wasn’t. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but it wasn’t—isn’t—fine.
One day in and I’ve been banished to the cabin reserved for troublemakers. Usually, those troublemakers are kids like Janice Humble who broke into the kitchen and stole all the ice cream. It’s not meant for counselors. But I guess there needs to be a first for everything. Just wish I wasn’t the one setting the low bar.
“Did I say I was sorry?” Scarlett asks as I swing my bag onto my shoulder with a defeated sigh.
This is still better than a summer at home.
If I repeat it enough times maybe I’ll believe it.
“Only about a thousand times.”
“Well, then I should say it a thousand more. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m—”
“It’s fine, Scar.” It’s not. “At least I didn’t get kicked out, right?” I force a smile, but she’s not buying it. We’ve been friends long enough that she can tell when I’m lying. And this right here is a big ole lie. Nothing about this situation is fine.