by A. R. Perry
“I should have listened to you, and I promise from here on out I’m like a freaking Eagle Scout.”
“Wrong camp.” I roll my eyes and step out into the bright morning sun. Yesterday I was all amped up to be a counselor and live out all the fantasies I had as a kid. Those fantasies did not start with me on the shit list. In fact, I was nowhere near the shit list.
I want to blame this on Shane because if he hadn’t been flexing his protective muscles I would have stayed in and read a book like the nerd I am, but there’s no one to blame but myself. I should have been the bigger person.
“Go grab breakfast.” I nod to the building next to Mr. River’s office. “I’ll dump my stuff and meet you there.”
She hesitates on the top step as she scrutinizes my face. Whatever she sees makes her nod, and she heads off toward the building. Now that everything has gone bottom up, she’ll be stuck to me for the rest of the summer being the best version of herself. It will be her way of trying to make up for me almost getting thrown out. Not that I blame her. Well, I kinda do, but I’m not mad anymore.
Okay, maybe slightly mad. But I’m sure it will wear off after I’ve eaten a nice hot breakfast.
I trudge down the steps and avoid eye contact with Mr. River as he comes out of his office. The man can throw serious disappointment with his eyes and I never want to be on the receiving end again. No joke, it was almost as bad as when my mother does it.
When I thrust open the door to my new cabin, my heart leaps in my chest and it takes everything in me to suppress a screech. Surprise shifts to anger when I catch a smile working its way across Shane’s face.
“What the hell are you doing here?” My gaze drops and narrows when I see a black bag at his feet.
“Well…”
“No,” I say. This isn’t happening. I’m grateful he talked Mr. River into letting me stay, but I don’t want to spend every free second with Shane.
Not after the weird kiss last night. To say that was odd, and confusing, and nice would be an understatement, but still. No way. He doesn’t get to ignore me for years, then shove his way into my life and expect to settle where he left.
Shane sighs. “This was one of his conditions.”
“For you to be my babysitter?”
“No—to make sure you’re safe. He doesn’t want you bunking alone.”
“Then pick another girl.”
He nibbles on his top lip and glances away. “He thinks you will be a bad influence.”
Shock and irritation heats my face. In eighteen years, I have never been called a bad influence. In fact, that’s the reason Scarlett’s parents like me so much. They think I’ll keep her in line. Nine times out of ten it doesn’t work, but they don’t know that.
“No,” I say again out of aggravation, but I don’t have much of a choice. Bunk with Shane or go home. Those are my options.
And now I’m furious. None of this would have happened if he didn’t butt in yesterday.
“Come on. We’re both adults. Now, do you want top or bottom bunk?”
My gaze narrows on him but all that does is multiply the humor lighting his eyes. He acts as if this is the funniest thing in the world. Spoiler: it’s not.
I tighten my grip on the strap of my bag. Well, whatever, screw him. He will not ruin my summer. “Top. That way if a bear, or you know, a machete-wielding murderer happens by, you’ll be the first to die.”
I glimpse a full-on smile on his face as I pass—the same one he always used to get his way in high school—but I don’t give him the satisfaction of acknowledging it.
“Guess I’ll unpack later,” I mumble as I toss my bag on the ground.
We’ll need to work out a system because there is no way I’m showering with him in here. Now more than ever, I’m glad I packed my worn-out sweats and flannel pants. Scarlett came close to convincing me to bring my smallest sleep shorts. A large dose of sloppy should keep his mistaken kisses far away from me.
“Let’s go get breakfast and pray all the good stuff isn’t taken,” he says as he drapes an arm over my shoulder.
I stiffen at the contact and the moment seems to knock some sense into him because he removes it with speed I didn’t know he possessed.
We say nothing as we walk the short distance to the cafeteria. By the time we step inside, I’m thankful for the noise, because whatever that awkwardness was made it hard to think straight. Now I can’t hear myself think at all.
Kids sit at their tables talking loudly and animatedly. They all arrived this morning and I can feel their excitement in the air. Yesterday I would have been right there on their level, but now it’s all I can do to plaster on a fake smile so I don’t scare them away.
I make my way to the trays, Shane’s presence behind me like a dark freaking cloud the entire time.
No clue how we got to this weird middle ground of not really friends who kiss after a near-crash, but I’d rather go back to ignoring each other.
I load up my tray with eggs and toast—the only two things left—then turn to scan the room for Scarlett.
My heart pounds once out of irritation. Why am I not surprised she is sitting with Dax and Jason? I may not blame her for last night, but I blame them. They’re the reason Shane got all protective. And it was their idea to go sneaking off.
Whatever. As I beeline for the table Scarlett sends me an apologetic look and I get the feeling she didn’t sit with them willingly.
“Hey.” I set my tray down hard on the table as I step over the worn bench seat.
Sorry, Scarlett mouths as she picks at the remnants of her food.
“So,” Jason says, focusing on me. “I’m surprised you’re still here.”
“Yeah…well…” I stab a piece of egg with my fork, but I’m not hungry anymore.
“I can’t believe that tool hauled you out of there and right to Mr. River,” he continues, ignoring the warning look Dax throws his way. “What’s up with that, anyway? Trying to make some big show of his power or something?”
“He didn’t rat me out,” I mumble, not even the slightest bit interested in this conversation. “We got caught. End of story.”
“Well, none of us did, so clearly his sneaking around skills have been dulled by his Goody two-shoes nature.”
“Or maybe you didn’t get caught because Mr. River was busy dealing with us.” A shadow looms over me and I glance up to see Shane’s face set into a scowl.
To his credit, Jason is smart enough to clamp his mouth shut and not press the subject. However, he’s not smart enough to hide the obvious disdain he feels toward Shane. I’m kind of with him on that right now.
“Lyla, a word.”
I toss down my fork and reach for a piece of cold toast. “I’m eating.”
“Now.” The authoritative edge to his voice makes my insides boil. Scarlett was right. When did he get a stick lodged up his backside?
I push away my tray and stand, avoiding the three sets of eyes staring at me as I stomp my way out of the building. The moment I’m on the porch, Shane catches my elbow and leads me around to the side.
“What?” I snap. This is getting beyond ridiculous. He can’t fall back into my life, kiss me, and then act as if he has some kind of control over me.
“I don’t think you should hang out with those guys. Look what already happened.”
“Those guys aren’t the ones who got me caught. You did.”
He steps back, confusion washing over his features. “This wouldn’t have happened if they didn’t convince you to sneak out.”
“No. None of this would have happened if you didn’t challenge me by saying I couldn’t go. You’re not even my friend, so why do you care?”
His jaw tightens, pulsing the tiny muscle below his ear. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Well, too late.” I take a step back, wrapping my arms around my stomach. “I’m hurt that you dumped me like a bad habit two years ago. I’m hurt that you almost got me kicked out of here. An
d—” I clamp my mouth shut before I can embarrass myself and tell him how much it stung to hear him tell me our kiss was a mistake.
Even if right now I agree with him.
“Can’t you just go back to ignoring me?” I ask as I rush around the corner and back inside the building as the realization hits me.
I’m not mad he dragged me back to camp kicking and screaming and got me caught. I’m mad that he kissed me and made me realize I want to do it over and over again only to rip it away from me.
To Shane’s credit, he did try to keep his distance. He was in bed before I got back to the cabin. He snuck out before I got up. A whole cafeteria separated us during meals. Everything was going so well.
Mr. River had other ideas.
So far in the past two days, he’s partnered Shane and me for every group activity. When he said he wanted Shane to monitor me, he meant it. And until I can prove that I’m not some demon-spawn troublemaker, I’m going to be uncomfortable and internally chafed from my out-of-control emotions.
I’ve barely slept since I changed cabins because it’s hard to do when Shane is all topless and unfazed in the bunk below me. I’m too scared I’m going to snore or drool or do something else embarrassing. Not that it should matter because, from the way he’s been acting, I’m not even a blip on his radar. Just some girl he’s being forced to watch over. And clearly, he meant it when he said the kiss was a mistake fueled by our crash. As for me, I can’t seem to get it out of my head. Any time there is a dull moment, there it is, haunting me. A reminder that I’ll always be some annoying kid to him. One he now gets to babysit, furthering the idea that I haven’t grown up from the gangly sixteen-year-old he last saw.
“Okay.” Shane claps his hands to grab all the kids’ attention and snaps me out of my thoughts. “Today we’re going to take a canoe trip around the lake. Partner up and grab a lifejacket.”
I take a step toward one of the younger kids who will need the most help, but Shane shakes his head and beckons me toward him with a curve of his finger.
“Let them partner up. They need to get to know each other—team bonding.” He tries to suppress a smirk when I roll my eyes.
When I said he was distant that didn’t include stifling his sarcasm. No. That’s alive and kicking. I swear it’s a million times worse than when we were kids.
He tosses me a life jacket and I slip it on as I move toward the kids to make sure everyone is putting them on correctly. Really, I want distance because now my afternoon will be Shane and me shoved together in a tiny canoe.
Fantastic.
“Everyone ready?” Shane calls as he makes his way to the shore where five canoes are waiting to take me to my afternoon of hell.
The other counselors, those lucky bastards, are filling their afternoon with hiking and volleyball and not wanting to drown themselves in the lake.
I make my way to the far edge and help a group who are struggling to push it off the sand and into the water. The young boy I help gives me a tight smile and casts a glance at the girl sitting in the canoe watching us with what appears to be pink cheeks. It’s cute the way they both have no idea how to function around each other. Being stuck out in the middle of the lake alone won’t make this any less awkward.
Behind me, Shane is waiting by our canoe.
Okay, awkward is a huge understatement.
With a steadying breath, I walk over to him. The kids are already floating a few feet out, splashing, tilting, and getting used to the way the oars move through the almost still water.
I can do this. A few hours on the water and then it will be lunchtime.
I’ve been alone with Shane before—hell we’ve slept in the same room for the past few nights. Well, he sleeps and I lie awake. But still, I have a feeling I’m making this far more awkward than it needs to be. We’re friends. Or rather, we were.
But he kissed you.
I shake my head and pull my hair into a scalp-tingling ponytail. He said it himself, the kiss was fueled by panic and adrenaline. Nothing to think twice about. Yet, I can’t forget. Why did he have to do something so…life altering? There is no way I’ll ever be able to look at him and see a mud-covered eight-year-old who spent the afternoon digging up roly-polies. Now all I’ll see is his full lips and that dang smile that enticed half the female population at school.
“Ready?” He holds a hand out for me, the other steadying the canoe as it bobs half on the shore.
“Uh-huh.” Ignoring his hand, I step inside and almost trip when his fingers glide over my spine steadying me.
After a few seconds of the canoe rocking from my not-so-elegant entrance, Shane casts off, pushing the rest of it into the water then hopping in with an ease that makes me cringe at my total lack of grace.
Once out in the water and close to the kids still trying to find their bearings, Shane picks up a white megaphone from the spot by his feet. “Okay, campers. This is an exercise in teamwork as much as it is a fun day on the water. Like we talked about this morning, it will take the team to make the trip around the lake without capsizing. If you need help, blow your whistle. Counselor Lyla and I will stay close so make sure you don’t veer off on your own or you will put the rest of the campers in danger should something happen.”
Shane nudges me with his elbow, giving me my cue. I pick up one of the paddles, holding it as high as I can so everyone can see.
“Counselor Lyla is going to show you one more time how to hold the oar. When you decide which side you are paddling on, put that hand on the rubber part.” I wrap my right hand around the rubber and once again show the children. “The other hand will wrap around the T-grip.” I demonstrate the grip, sliding the paddle into the water. “Remember that the person in front can’t see what’s happening behind them so make sure you are communicating. Try a few strokes to get comfortable, then we’ll be off!”
Shane sets down the megaphone and gets into position at the front. “How many you think will end up in the water?” he asks over his shoulder.
I scan the group, watching as pretty much every canoe wobbles. “All of them.”
He lets out a huff of a laugh as he rests his paddle across his knees. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.”
I set myself up as he rows. After a few strokes, we fall into a comfortable rhythm. There isn’t even a need for me to speak. It’s almost as if he can sense every move before I make it.
I wish I could say that about the other campers.
It takes five minutes for the first team to capsize. The shy girl from earlier breaks the water with a cough and wastes no time bringing the whistle to her lips.
The boy is trying to stop her, his hands clenching around the edge of the canoe as he tries to flip it on his own, but she’s not listening.
Embarrassment is obvious in his eyes as together Shane and I slide the canoe across ours, emptying all the water before righting it.
Shane holds it steady as they climb in, almost tipping over again in their haste to get out of the chilly water. Once settled, the boy won’t meet anyone’s gaze as he uses his oar to push away from us. I suppose he wanted to come to her rescue, be some kind of hero, and Shane and I ruined that for him.
It’s kind of cute how much he cares.
“One down,” Shane mumbles as we catch up to the group, who despite being told to stick together, has decided not to wait around.
“This is going to be a long afternoon.” I take a moment to stretch out my muscles. They aren’t used to this kind of stress. It’s been at least five years since I’ve been out on the water. No doubt I’ll be needing some pain meds by the end of the night.
“So.” Shane clears his throat, the muscles in his back bunching as he rolls his shoulders. “How is your mom doing?”
I snort, which draws his gaze over his shoulder. “Oh, just her normal overbearing self. My mom has been breathing down my neck since sophomore year trying to force me into picking a college. I don’t know what I want to do with my life so how can I pi
ck a college?” Wait. Where did that verbal diarrhea come from?
“Not much change?” he laughs, changing direction so we are on the outer edge of the group. “And how’s Jay?”
I pause, losing my grip on the paddle for a second, then scrambling to grab it before slipping into the water. This is the first time I’ve heard him ask about him since the falling-out. “You don’t have to do that.”
His back stiffens, and he stops paddling. “Do what?”
“Talk about Jay.”
“Does he ever ask about me?” His words are almost a whisper and even without seeing his face, I can feel the pain.
“Not since we all still went to high school together.”
“Oh.” He resumes paddling, digging the edge into the water with such ferocity I don’t have to do anything to help move us along.
“What happened between you and Jay—”
“Doesn’t matter now.”
“Clearly it does. Jeez. You guys are so much alike. You end a decade-long friendship and neither one of you want to talk.”
Shane cranes his neck so he can see me. “He never told you?”
“No. But it would have been nice if you didn’t drop me too. I don’t know if you remember, but you were my best friend too.”
Realization dawns on his face as he spins around to face me. “He really never told you?”
“No. Just said that I needed to drop it. He wouldn’t tell my mom either, and believe me, she tried to drag it out of him on more than one occasion. Even tried to bribe him with cream cheese brownies.”
Shane lets out a harsh breath and runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. “I never meant to… You got put in the middle and that wasn’t fair.”
My arms slow as I study his face. Pain twists his features and an overwhelming sensation to comfort him settles in the pit of my stomach and works its way outward until I drop the oar and scoot forward. Earlier irritation at him is forgotten and all I want to do is wipe that heartbreaking look from his face.
“My brother is an idiot most of the time.” His disbelieving expression forces more words from my mouth. “Seriously. Until he was eighteen, he didn’t think the North Pole was real.” This very true and sad comment gets a laugh out of Shane so I back off, scooting to my side of the boat.