by A. R. Perry
“You can’t be serious.”
“I wish I was making it up. Admitting I share the same DNA pool is embarrassing most days.” I add a fake shudder for dramatic effect.
Truthfully, my brother and I are super close. I love to tease him because he makes it so easy, but I also just plain love him. I won the jackpot when it comes to siblings according to stories friends have told me.
Shane holds my gaze for a few seconds longer before turning his attention to the kids who have become more interested in splashing each other with water than in rowing.
“We should catch up.”
A light, relieved feeling fills the pit of my chest as we paddle the short distance to the now rowdy kids. Whatever weird thing going on between Shane and me seems to have lifted and now we can go back to being friends.
As the day wears on though, I can’t shake one thought. One terrible thought that will ruin any chance of us getting back to normal.
I’m not sure I want to only be friends with him.
Lyla sits across on the other side of the fire, the orange flicker lighting up her face as she laughs at something Scarlett says. As stalkerish as it sounds, I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off her since she sat down. Even after changing into a pair of jeans and a baggy hoodie that must have belonged to Jay judging from the high school wrestling logo, she’s still the most gorgeous woman around. Hell, even if she was wearing a garbage bag, she’d still outshine everyone else—a fact that became clear the moment she stepped foot in our high school.
This afternoon has done nothing helpful when it comes to keeping my very dangerous emotions in check. I thought I could ignore her or push her away. That didn’t work out. I thought I could remain hands-off. Failed big-time. I thought I could force us into the friend box we’d lived in for years. That ain’t working out either.
So, now I’m making sure a blazing fire is between us to keep me from doing anything stupid. A big something stupid like kissing her here and now for all to see—well, mostly for all the guys to see—consequences be damned.
I scrub a hand over my clenched jaw. Why did I volunteer to watch over her again? If she was sent packing, this summer would be a cakewalk. Every day wouldn’t be a tightrope between sanity and insanity. Because that’s what she does to me—makes me feel insane for every thought I have about her.
But I’m an idiot for her. I was an idiot in high school when I scared away any guy who even considered asking her out. I was an idiot when I made every excuse possible to spend time at her house when she was home. And I was a major idiot when I told my best friend I fell in love with his little sister.
I’m still not sure why I tricked myself into thinking the conversation would have gone any better than it had. Jay telling me to stay the hell away from her or else was the least he could have done. I’m surprised my body didn’t end up in a ditch somewhere. After all, I was there junior year when Jay tracked down Jimmy Felts and told him he would break his pitching hand if he asked Lyla to junior prom.
Jimmy asked Kiana Brown.
Since I know all of this, I should keep my eyes and my thoughts to myself. Yet, here I am, smiling like a goon as Lyla tilts her head and lets out the most infectious laugh. She always fit in just about anywhere. Sitting here as she throws her arms out wide, talking animatedly as everyone falls under her trance, makes me wish I was sitting next to her making her laugh like I used to.
“How’s your mother doing?” Mr. River asks, sitting in the empty seat beside me.
With a rough squeeze of my nape, I snap out of my daze. “Better. The doctors think they found the right combination of medications. Hasn’t had a seizure in a few days.”
“If you need to head home, kid—”
I wave him off and take a sip of cocoa. “My aunt is with her. She’s an elementary school teacher, so she’s got the time. When fall rolls around though that’s a whole different story.”
“Did you get the transfer paperwork in the mail?”
“Yeah.”
He claps me on the back with a giant hand. “Good. UCLA would be dumb to turn you down.”
I force a smile, but it doesn’t quell the fear tightening my chest. If they turn me down, I have no idea what I’ll do. There’s no way I can help support my mom on a minimum wage job. I need my degree, and I need it now.
“So, your friend seems to be doing better.” Mr. River points the butt end of a flashlight at Lyla as if I wouldn’t know who he was talking about.
“She’s a good kid.”
Kid. I wish she was still a kid. It would make this situation easier. Life was so much simpler when she was a rug rat who always had a book in her hand and mud on her knees.
“I agree. So, you’re relieved of duty.”
“No,” I blurt out way too fast—again going against my better judgment. Mr. River smiles, and the slight movement tells me he’s on to me. “What I mean is that you already set the partner schedule for the next two weeks. No need to cause a headache shuffling things around.”
“Sure.” He nods. “Plus, it will keep her away from troublemakers.” His flashlight once again points to where Lyla sits across the fire.
My whole spine snaps straight as I see the two douche-bros have taken the seats around Lyla and Scarlett. Mr. River once again chuckles as he gets up and makes his way toward his cabin.
“Lights out in five,” he calls over his shoulder to no one in particular.
Everyone else may ignore him, but I jump up ready to get to bed before I do something stupid like put my fist through a face. Lyla doesn’t seem to mind the attention and I have no right to be so possessive, but I can’t help it. If she’s going to be with someone other than me, it won’t be an A-hole.
“All right, let’s clean up.” I dump what’s left of my hot cocoa into the fire, then toss the cup in the trash. “Dax. Jason. Why don’t you two take trash patrol tonight?” The smile drops off Jason’s face in a rush and Dax narrows his eyes at me. I’m hoping they both keep quiet because now that I’m standing, I can see Jason’s arm wrapped around Lyla’s shoulders and it does nothing to help the anger simmering under the surface.
As if sensing the storm raging inside me, Lyla stands up, shrugging off his arm. “You heard co-captain. Campers, pick up your belongings. I can’t guarantee they will be here in the morning. And rest up, we have a long day tomorrow.”
She smiles at me as a few of the campers groan. I have an inkling some of them are here by force and aren’t into the whole wilderness thing.
“Need any help, boss-man?” she asks as people scatter in every direction, some not doing a dang thing as they sneak off to their cabins.
“Make sure the campers get to the right cabin?”
“Aye-aye.” She salutes me before walking off to find her friend Scarlett.
Perfect. Now I can keep an eye on the asshats and the girls will be far away from them.
Right as I turn around, Jason walks by, slamming his shoulder into my arm with enough force to knock me off balance. I stumble to the side and I catch the tail end of inappropriate language as he stalks off. He’s not competition. Not to me. But one of these days I’m going to put the tool in his place.
I grab a few articles of clothing the kids left behind and make my way to Mr. River’s office to drop them off at the lost and found. By the time I step outside, the place is dead quiet. How something can change in such a short amount of time is beyond me. I’m not complaining though. All I want to do is head to my cabin and have Lyla to myself for the tiny amount of time before bed.
Three minutes later I’m walking through our cabin door and notice right away that Lyla is nowhere to be found. I stop in the middle of the room and listen for the shower. She likes to take one before bed, which works, since I love nothing more than waking up to scalding hot water. Right now, though, I’m hearing nothing. It’s almost as quiet as it was outside.
I grab the flashlight I stored in my duffel bag since it has a brighter light than my phone a
nd head back outside. There’s no sign of Lyla—there’s no sign of anyone. An aching pit forms in my stomach when I remember the first night and how she snuck away to party. I don’t think she would do it again, not after being caught, but something tells me her friend might talk her into doing things she normally wouldn’t do. Hell, I could talk her into doing dumb shit when we were younger. One of those times ended with a trip to the ER.
I circle around the now-dead fire and head out toward the lake, sticking to the edge of trees so the bright light doesn’t wake anyone. Not that I expect any of these kids to be asleep at ten, but I don’t want to be a reason they think it’s okay to head out into the night.
Twigs crunch under my feet and somewhere in the distance an owl hoots. Wilderness has always had an almost hypnotic draw. Something inside me screams to be with nature. It’s part of the reason I come back every summer as a counselor, even when I attended school in another state. Knowing this will probably be my last year is just something I’m not ready to face yet.
Just like I’m not ready to face the idea that my mom won’t get better. According to her doctors, there is a very real possibility she will continue to decline despite treatment.
A world without her is not something I’m ready to face.
I make it to the water’s edge and do a quick sweep. Not a single soul. My heart rate kicks into overdrive even though I know it’s ridiculous. There aren’t masked killers here picking us off one by one. She’s around somewhere. Still, even with that thought at the forefront of my mind, I can’t slow my heart rate or my feet as I race back to camp.
The cabin comes into view in record time and when I reach the stairs, I jump over all of them and fling open the door.
Lyla screeches and tugs the fluffy pink towel tighter around her body. I stumble and trip over my boots, smacking my head on the wooden frame of the bunk bed on my way down.
Lyla’s shock turns to laughter and all I can do is lie here staring up at the ceiling while praying to disappear. This is not how I saw the night—or any night going. Nobody wants to end up ass-over-end while the girl of your dreams is standing off to the side busting a gut.
After a few humiliating moments, Lyla catches her breath. “Are you alive?”
“Unfortunately.”
That gains another giggle as the door to the bathroom closes. I should get up off the floor, but the throbbing in the back of my head makes me want to curl up and stay right here forever.
“Is that where you’re sleeping now?” Lyla comes into view, clothed with her dripping wet hair stuck to her neck.
“Sorry I barged in on you.”
“Yeah, well, it was my fault. I forgot my clothes and when you didn’t answer me, I figured you were off helping Mr. River with something.” She offers me her hand, and I take it, allowing her to lift me off the ground.
My head pounds a thousand times worse now that I’m upright, so I reach over and grab ahold of the bed. We don’t need another embarrassing moment to add to the books.
“You okay? Looked like you hit your head on the way down.”
I nod and regret it. “Was it at least badass-looking?”
“Not really.” Her fingers prod my skull, forcing a hiss out of me. “That’s a gnarly bump you got there. Is there a first aid kit with one of those ice pack things in here?”
“Bathroom.” I drop onto my bed and let my head fall forward, trying to find a position where it doesn’t hurt as much.
“Here, this should help.” Lyla crawls onto the bed with me and presses the cold pack to the lump.
It feels like heaven.
“Remember that one time you and Jay got all into WWE and thought you could replicate some of the moves with zero training?”
A strangled laugh leaves me as the image of us dressed up in horrible handmade costumes forms in my head. We couldn’t have been more than thirteen and little eleven-year-old Lyla was telling us what idiots we were.
“I still don’t remember much after the concussion.”
“Oh, I do. Jay ran into the house and tried to call 911, thinking he killed you. Our mom had to stop him and then take you to the hospital because your parents were out of town.”
Out of town. That I do remember. They said it was for their anniversary, but that was the last time I saw my dad. He left my mom at some hotel and ran off God knows where.
“Hey, some good came out of it. I got to miss three days of school.”
Lyla tucks her feet under her butt and leans closer, inspecting my bump. “So did Jay because, if I recall correctly, he was traumatized.” She tilts my chin and shines her phone’s flashlight into my eyes, making me squint.
“We watched a lot of cartoons that week.”
“Yeah. I remember.” A smile lights her eyes as she pats me on the leg. “Think you can handle it from here?”
I nod and place my hand over the ice pack, brushing hers as she pulls away. A spark of lightning hits me square in the chest and if I’m not mistaken, she feels it too. Her eyes widen and she hops off the bed, making sure not to touch me again.
“Good night.”
“Good night, Lyla.”
She switches off the light, drowning us in darkness, but I hear her feet slap against the hardwood as she races back to the bed. She always was scared of the dark.
With a smile on my face and a less intense pounding in my head, I drift off to sleep and the last thing I see before I switch off is Lyla’s face.
I stomp the ground and clap as a camper spikes the ball in a way that tells me she’s done this a few times. A friendly volleyball match started during lunch and spilled over into afternoon activities. Mr. River didn’t seem to mind much, so the counselors all banded together to cheer on the group and monitor the few who had no interest in smacking a ball around.
Shane waves at me from the sidelines where he’s standing in as ref. When his face lights with a smile, butterflies erupt in my stomach forcing me to turn away so he can’t read what I’m thinking. Because what I’m thinking is bad. Very bad.
Somehow over the course of a few days, I developed a crush on my brother’s ex-best friend. Yeah. Not the best idea. Even if Jay wasn’t on the outs with him, he’s always been super protective. Protective as in threatening the guy who planned on asking me to junior prom. Oh, he’s under the impression I don’t know about that, but word got around rather quickly.
This is why my hormones need to get a grip. Besides, as I keep trying to remind myself, Shane heads to Texas for college in the fall. I’ll be here for one more year. In high school. If by some miracle something developed between us, it would be nothing more than a summer fling.
I dust the sand off my knees and try to focus on the game. It doesn’t help much because no matter where I look there’s Shane in my periphery looking all amazing in a tight gray T-shirt and board shorts.
Scarlett appears out of nowhere and plops down next to me. She’s been MIA most of the afternoon and I assume she and that guy Dax are getting into some frisky business. She thinks she’s being sly because she doesn’t want to be lectured, but I’ve seen the googly eyes. I also saw her sneaking out of her cabin last night when I got back from making sure all the kids were tucked away.
Guess she couldn’t keep her promise of being good for too long.
“The sun feels amazing.” She leans backward, tilting her face up toward the sunlight.
“Where were you hiding?”
“Oh, uh, just did a sweep of the grounds to pick up the garbage and whatnot. Captain Buzzkill made it his goal to have Dax and Jason be the janitors, so I figured I could help.”
I study her face, but I can’t tell if she’s lying or not. Come to think of it, I can’t remember if I’ve seen Jason and Dax all afternoon. I guess if they want to be sent packing that’s their problem.
Someone scores and the sidelines erupt into loud cheers. I turn my attention to the game where the boys’ team finally scored against the girls. Yup, we went there. What started out as a
mixed team devolved into trash-talking until the girls agreed to take on the boys. So far, they’ve been whooping their grumbly butts.
“This is how summer should be. Lakeside. Sunshine. I didn’t realize how much work goes into babysitting kids.”
I snort and prop myself up with an elbow. “They can be a handful. Then again, I know a certain someone who is just as much of a handful, and she’s a couple of months away from being an adult.”
Scarlett feigns outrage, her face twisting in over-the-top horror. “Are you talking about me?”
“Who else would I be talking about?”
“If my parents weren’t such controlling freaks, I wouldn’t need to rebel.”
Tell me about it. Scarlett is preaching to the choir and she knows it. My mom no doubt mapped out my entire life down to the day I’ll have children. Jay, the lucky douche, escaped her maniacal planning somehow and stiffed me with someone hell-bent on making sure I conquer the world.
The only difference is, I accepted my fate. Scar’s made it her mission to hate anything and everything that comes out of her parent’s mouths.
“Speaking of parents.” Scarlett lifts her sunglasses so she can scrutinize my face. “Still radio silence?”
“Yup,” I pop the P and close my eyes, savoring the warm afternoon sun. “It might be because Jay is home, but she’s also pissed that I dipped out on summer pick a future. Even though she agreed this would look good on applications.”
“So, Jason has been asking about you,” Scar says, doing a one-eighty on the conversation and making my head spin. “Totally talked you up.”
My gaze finds Shane, ten feet from me, invested in the game. Something in my gut twists and I turn away from her. “Why would he be asking about me?”
“Duh, ‘cause you’re smoking hot.”
“I’m not here to date, Scar.” Again, my stupid traitorous eyes find Shane and I know right away that I’m lying to myself. If Shane wanted to pursue whatever it is going on between us, I would jump at the opportunity.