by A. R. Perry
Paddles tumble out of the closet because of the hasty way I threw them inside and clatter at my feet. Scarlett jumps at the noise and drops the canoe she was dragging in.
“You scared the crap out of me.” Her hand slams down on her chest with a dramatic huff.
“Sorry.” I bend down, keeping my back to her because I still haven’t told her anything about Shane. Not about knowing him most of my life. Not about the mistake kiss and the genuine one. I’m so scared she will see everything on my face and revoke my best friend card for lying about it.
“What’s with you today?” She helps me organize the paddles correctly in the storage closet. “You’re a million miles away. You’re not still mad at me about the whole Dax thing, right? I know I messed up. Now that I’m not blinded by dimples and six-packs, I realize they were, well, douche canoes.”
I laugh when she kicks the canoe next to us. “No. I’m not mad. I’m just…preoccupied.”
“With mom stuff?”
Mom. God, I didn’t consider her. She won’t be happy when she finds out about whatever this is between Shane and me. Not only will she think of him as a distraction from studying, but she considered him another son.
Then there’s Jay. I was joking when I made light about having to tell him. I saw the fear on Shane’s face when we got caught. Whether it was from embarrassment because of our situation or because of me, I still don’t know. So, I made a joke about Jay, which in retrospect wasn’t the best idea seeing as he and Shane aren’t on speaking terms.
“Hey.” Scarlett snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Lyla. What the heck is going on with you?”
“Sorry.” I blink a few times, trying to clear my thoughts, but there’s no way I’ll be able to shake them until Shane and I sort out…whatever this is. “I’m just hungry.”
Scarlett glances down at the pink watch on her wrist. “Lunch is in a few minutes. If we finish here, we can get first picks.”
“What are we waiting for?”
Together we finish putting away the gear in record time and jog out into the warm afternoon sun. Everything has been calm since Mr. River booted Jason and Dax. Besides the whole Shane weirdness, it’s becoming the summer I always dreamed about.
I will miss the heck out of this place when I head off to college, but hey, maybe I can find time to make this my summer plans. Until I graduate at least.
Scarlett loops her arm through mine as we make our way to the cafeteria. “Only a week and a half left. What do you wanna do when we get home?”
Spend every second with Shane.
Of their own accord, my eyes scan the ground for him and come up empty. “Depends on what Momzilla planned. Her last text mentioned I needed to beef up my volunteer work so no doubt I’ll be spending the rest of vacation doing whatever thing she signed me up for.”
“We can do it together. Anything is fun when I’m around.”
“Even shoveling dog poop at the animal shelter?”
Her pert nose scrunches up. “Well, not that. But I bet I could convince one of the other workers to do it for us.”
“That I don’t doubt.” I bump her with my hip as we walk up the steps to the cafeteria. “Tell me your magic voodoo secrets that make guys trip all over themselves to do whatever you want.”
“Well, I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
I burst out laughing as we walk through the doors, but it’s cut short when I spot Shane standing by the far wall talking to Mr. River. As Shane’s gaze flicks toward us and it connects with mine my heart does a weird shimmy in my chest.
“Seems like you don’t need my voodoo magic after all,” Scarlett says when she notices us staring at each other.
Shaking him off, I step behind a girl with pigtails. “No idea what you’re talking about.”
“Come on. Anyone with eyes knows what I’m talking about. That boy’s got it bad for you. He has since the first day. Why do you think he was all over Jason and Dax?”
He did kiss me and admit his feelings and yet here he is, freezing me out again.
“There’s less than two weeks left here. Why don’t you have the hot summer fling I was hoping for?”
I swivel my head around and catch her making kissy faces and rubbing her hands up and down her sides in a lame attempt to mimic a sloppy make-out session.
“It’s not that easy.”
“It really is.” She grabs a tray and passes me one. “Make out with the hot college guy and move on with the rest of your summer.”
“No. I mean it’s not that easy because…” Oh, she’s going to rip me a new one when I admit Shane and I go way back. “Because Shane and I have known each other since we were kids.”
“What?” Her voice rises high enough to draw the attention of a few campers and the counselor serving food. “Okay, back up and explain. You’ve been friends with that and never made a move?”
I grab the finger pointing to where Shane is standing and shove it down before he sees. God, that would be embarrassing for him to find out I’m over here talking about him when he can’t bring himself to speak to me.
I’m starting to wonder if he does regret kissing me again. Or maybe him saying he’s liked me all these years ago was some twisted way of getting me to let my guard down so he could make out with me and move on.
“Could ya keep it down, please? God, I think people on the East Coast heard you.”
“Calm down.” She brushes me off with a flick of her hand. “He didn’t hear. He’s so far up Mr. River’s butt, I’m surprised he can breathe.” After loading up her tray with food that no longer is appealing, she turns to me. “Now explain everything. And I do mean everything or I’ll go ask him.”
“Shane was my brother’s best friend.”
“Hot.”
“Keyword: was. They had a falling-out senior year of high school and as far as I’m aware haven’t spoken since.”
She cringes as we take a seat at a table far enough away from Shane that he can’t overhear. “So, how’s big bro gonna take it when he finds out you’re tongue wrestling his ex-bestie?”
My eyes widen in shock. “How did you know we made out?”
“I didn’t.” She grins and bites open the tiny packet of mayo. “But I do now. He’s hot in a weird grumpy old man way. How was it?”
Heat races through my cheeks and even behind a hand, I can’t hide my embarrassment. Scarlett and I talk about boys, but this is Shane. It’s just different.
“That good, huh? Older boys have more experience. They know how to drop that bass.”
“Oh my God.” Folding my arms, I thunk my head down on top of them. “We are not discussing this with childrens’ ears all around.”
“Fine, but if it was so amazing then why haven’t I seen you guys together? Wait, unless you’ve been sneaking out at night to meet him in his cabin.” Her hand shoots out, and she latches onto my forearm. “Please tell me you’ve been having sexy midnight meetups with that hot piece of man.”
“No!” I jerk away, sitting up and wishing I’d burst into flames right now. If I can’t get through a conversation with Scarlett about Shane how the heck am I going to tell Jay? “All we did was kiss and Mr. River broke it up.”
“Of course he did. What a buzzkill.”
“Now Shane hasn’t spoken to me. It’s weird. How can one person be so hot and cold?”
“Well, you said him and Jay used to be best friends. Maybe he feels guilty for macking on his little sister.”
“That should have crossed his mind before he kissed me.” I wrap my arms around my stomach and glare Shane’s way as anger simmers inside my veins. He started this. I could have gone all summer never knowing how his lips felt against mine or how one of his rare smiles lights up my insides like fireworks on the Fourth of July.
“Talk to him.” Scarlett nibbles on the edge of her sandwich.
“When? We have activities all day and then we go to separate cabins.”
Pushing h
er tray away, she grins. My eyes widen because this is a grin I’ve seen before. It means she’s up to something and usually not something good.
“What are you—”
“Ugh, my stomach!” She folds in half, groaning loud enough for Mr. River to hear over the chatter of the children around us.
“Miss Morse?” Mr. River jogs over to us followed by Shane whose eyes flick from her to me, suspicion swirling in in the depths of the oceanic blue hue.
“My stomach is killing me,” Scarlett groans.
Everyone else might buy this lame act, but I cringe because she’s so transparent and over the top. Still, I didn’t see this coming. If I had I would have punched her and told her to knock it off. She’s never been the best actress.
“Let’s get you to the nurse’s office. Shane, combine your afternoon activity with Miss Underwood.”
As Mr. River helps Scarlett up, she winks over her shoulder and lets him lead her out of the building. For a couple of seconds, I’m dumbfounded because that was way too easy. How the hell did she know Shane and I would be partnered if she bowed out?
“So, I guess we’re partnered this afternoon.” Shane runs a hand up the side of his hair, ruffling it a bit.
“Guess so.”
“Do you want to step out and make a plan because you’re assigned to crafting and I have hiking?”
“Yeah, sure. Let’s go to…your cabin?” Ugh. I hate myself for how unsure my voice sounds. I also hate myself for throwing that out as an option because I’m not fond of rejection.
After a moment’s pause, he nods. “Sure. It’s quiet in there. We’ve got fifteen minutes to make a plan so…”
Oh, right. I should stand or make some kind of move to leave.
On uncoordinated legs, I stand up and only trip a little as I step over the bench seat.
Get it together, Lyla.
Shane leads the way and speed walks to his cabin. Mr. River is nowhere around, so I’m assuming he’s still with Scarlett. Knowing her, she’s putting on quite a show. Once she gets rolling, it’s kinda hard to pull her back.
The cabin is quiet as we step inside. And was it always this small? I swear it’s as if all the oxygen is sucked out of the room with both of us standing awkwardly in the center.
“So, do you think we should take all the kids on a hike or—”
“Why are you ignoring me?” I blurt out.
No tact. No thought. The words just tumble out and leave Shane staring at me as if I’ve asked him to solve Hodge conjecture.
“I’m not…I wasn’t…”
“You are. And it’s weird. We kissed, and you admitted you like me and now you can barely look at me.” He glances down at his shoes. “See! You can’t, even now. Do you regret it? Was it another mistake?”
My stupid voice wobbles with the pain of his rejection, and it makes him glance up.
“Do you regret kissing me?”
“That’s not a simple question to answer.”
Pain lances through my chest. I will not cry, dang it. But even as I think the words, tears well at my lash line.
“Don’t. Come on, don’t do that.” In an instant, I’m in his arms and he’s crushing me to his chest. “I like you so much it hurts sometimes but us together…it won’t be easy.”
Sniffing away tears, I lean back. “Listen, I understand you attend college in a different state and I’m not asking for forever, but I want to at least give us a shot to explore whatever this is.”
His fingers tangle in my long ponytail. “I don’t think I’ll live past the summer once Jay finds out.”
His words soften the blow of earlier rejection. “So, this is about Jay?”
“Of course it is. You’re his little sister.”
“I’m an eighteen-year-old woman who can make her own decisions.”
“You’re still his sister and no one will ever be good enough for you. Least of all me.”
I drag my thumb across the crease between his eyes, flattening it out a bit. “Leave Jay to me. He talks a big game, but he’s a big mushy teddy bear underneath it all.”
“No.” His strong fingers massage the base of my head. “I’ll talk to him. This is something he needs to hear from me.”
“So…does that mean you’re done ignoring me?”
“It means that I’m ready to explore this even if it means I end up in a shallow grave.”
I giggle, tracing the pout of his bottom lip. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep you safe from my mean old brother.”
Leaning down, he slides his nose against mine. “And who’s going to keep you safe from me?”
Before I come up with a witty reply, his lips crash on mine, hungry and full of the same pent-up emotion I’ve been battling with over the past two days. My toes curl, and my brain turns to mush. I would stay like this forever if I could, but we have kids to watch over so I’m the first to pull away, panting. Shane’s cheeks are ruddy and his eyes are full of desire since I cut us off so abruptly.
Little does he know it took all of my willpower to be the responsible one when all I want to do is get lost in him.
Besides, we have all summer to explore the new us.
“Three days and we’re out of here. You ready?” Scarlett asks, toasting a marshmallow to cinders.
“Yes, and no.” Without meaning to, my gaze lands on Shane on the other side of the dancing flames. At the moment he’s showing a kid how to roast four marshmallows at once and I can’t help but smile.
He’s convinced he’s some terrible guy I should steer clear of. But over all these years I’ve never seen him be anything but the upstanding guy I’d always envisioned myself with. Whatever his doubts are stem from my brother.
This thing between Jay and him is hanging between us and holding him back from investing in this—whatever this unnamed thing is. Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? Are we dating causally? Seeing other people? I’m too scared to ask, and he has made no attempt to put a label on us.
He won’t be calm until we’ve sat Jay down. I get it—all their history—and I will try my best to let him do it in his own time. After all, they were the ones who were best friends.
“Did you hear me?” Scarlett bumps me with her knee.
“Sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked if we can have a girl day when we get home. Manis. Pedis. The works. Three weeks is way too long in the wilderness.”
The girl has a point. Gunk turns the edges of my nails a disgusting black color. This has been fun, but Scarlett is right. I’m so ready to sleep in my comfy bed and air-conditioned house.
“Definitely. Momzilla will have me on a short leash the first few days, but after that, I’m all yours.”
“What about Sexy McCounselor?”
An unstoppable grin takes over when I imagine an entire summer wrapped up in Shane’s arms. “There’s enough of me to go around. I’d never ditch you for a guy. Besties for life.” I hold out a pinkie, and she links hers to mine.
“I would. Especially if the guy looked like that.”
I shove her and she giggles as she throws out a hand to keep from sliding off the log. “He’s off-limits.”
“What about your brother? His best friend with you. Your best friend with him. Magical.”
“His ex-best friend. And unless you want to be an ex as well, keep your grubby paws off my brother.” Images of them together make me shudder. No way would I be able to handle that. Thank goodness Jay and Shane have been on the outs for years. Should make the whole situation less awkward.
“Hands off, I swear.” She holds one hand up as if she’s taking an oath. “Unless he makes a move on me and then I make no promises. That boy is hot.” She drags out the word hot until I roll my eyes. “Guess hotness skips a generation, huh?”
“Rude!” With a playful smack on the knee, we both fall into a fit of giggles that has a few campers and Shane glancing our way.
This is the fun time I had hoped Scarlett and I would have the full three weeks. Dax and
Jason put a damper on the whole thing, but at least we can make up for lost time.
As I’m wiping a single tear from my eye, a shadow falls over us. We both glance up at the same time to find Shane smirking.
“You two are loud enough to wake the dead.”
“At least you’ll be here to protect us. Unless they’re wearing big scary Halloween masks, huh, Shane?” Scarlett puts on her dazzling cheer smile for effect.
I bite my lip to keep from laughing as Shane shakes his head, obviously not amused by her jab.
“Wanna walk the shore with me? One of the campers thinks she left her inhaler down there.”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” I pass Scarlett my marshmallow stick and try to keep the fluttering in my stomach to tolerable levels.
With how jam-packed the days are we haven’t had much time alone.
“I have my eyes on you, Novak. If my girl isn’t back in fifteen minutes, I’m coming for ya.”
Ruffling her hair until she squeaks, I stand, taking his offered hand. “Try not to get on Mr. River’s bad side while I’m gone.”
“Try not to eat his face!” she calls as we walk away.
“You two doing okay? For a while things seemed tense.”
“Yeah.” I lean my head on his shoulder and inhale his uniquely intoxicating scent. I don’t care if I come off creepy either. “We’re good now. Scarlett gets boy crazy sometimes and with no parental supervision up here she just went off the rails.”
“Well, I’m glad you guys are back on track.” His fingertips dance over the bare skin on my upper arm. Even though it’s warm out, I break out in goose bumps.
“You excited to head home?”
“I’m excited to see my mom. We haven’t gotten to spend much time together since I’ve been in Texas.”
“How’s she doing?”
He stiffens at my words. “What do you mean?”
“My mom mentioned to my dad during one of his monthly visits that she’s been sick. Is it serious?”
In the dim light, I can see the deep frown form between his eyes. “She has her good days and bad days. According to my aunt, she’s only had one episode.” Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know word got out. She’s a pretty private person.”