Pulled Back Again

by Danielle Bannister

  When push comes to shove, though, do I honestly think I’ll be able to pull the trigger on Hawk? He was my best friend for seventeen years...

  I guess my mind will be made up for me depending on what state I found Jada in. If he’s hurt her, there’s no way he’s coming out of this alive.

  With that thought lodged firmly into my head, I push my way farther along the wall.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jada

  I continue to gaze at Hawk’s face as he removes the bandages from my arm, gently dabbing at the marks on my wrists with the wet paper towel.

  The blood gives way to what looks like letters. My name. Huh? I have scars of my name on my forearm. Weird. I don’t remember that? It seems like I should remember that. Trying to recall how it got there, I feel my memories shift inside my head. It’s kinda like I’m underwater, floating around. It’s not like drowning, though. This feeling I’m having... it’s warm and relaxing. I never want it to stop.

  “Okay,” Hawk says, “I think you’re good now. The yarrow helped you clot up nicely, but I’m gonna keep the bandages on. Just in case.” He proceeds to wrap me back up as I run my fingers over his as they work.

  “You should probably have some food too.” He scratches his head. “Don’t they make you eat after you give blood?”

  I giggle and shrug my shoulders.

  Walking back over to the grocery bag, he pulls out a candy bar and tosses it to me.

  Suddenly ravished, I tear into the wrapper and sink my teeth into its caramel center. Heaven. As I munch, he takes the rest of the contents out of the bag.

  He removes two touristy T-shirts that say “Montreal” in bold print. Then he digs out a second carton of hair dye and a pair of bright-yellow rubber gloves.

  “Cool. Are we dying our hair?” I ask, running my fingers through my hair.

  “Yup. We’re going black.”

  “Mmmm, I bet you’re gonna look sexy in black.”

  “You’re gonna be the sexy one. I’m not gonna be able to keep my hands off you.” Something in my stomach flutters, and it doesn’t feel like desire.

  What is that feeling?

  I push the thought aside as Hawk leads me back into the living room where he drags a folding chair over to the couch and straddles it. He hands me the box and the gloves.

  “Have fun,” he says.

  Cocking my head to the side, I smile, put down the candy bar, and tear the box open and pull out the first bottle.

  “You know I don’t know what I’m doing, right?” I laugh at him.

  “It’s easy. Just mix the two foam bottles together and use the brush thingy to put it on my hair.”

  “You’ve dyed your hair before?”

  He looks over his shoulder at me. “No. But I read the instructions. Let’s go. We’re on a tight schedule.”

  “Yes, sir.” I laugh, saluting him.

  Giddy for no reason, I unscrew both bottles, per the instructions on the box, and pour them in the small bowl provided. The smell of the two chemicals mixing together is intense. It stings my nose and makes my eyes water. Instinctively, my head pulls away from the foul smell. Then, without warning, an overwhelming urge to actually go back and smell the mixture floods over me.

  Smell the dye, a voice inside my head whispers.

  At first I resist, but the voice grows louder. Curious, I lower my face to the bowl and inhale—deeply. Without warning, my head spins from the fumes. I reel back trying to get the smell out of my nose. Tiny stars dance in my eyes, but I bend over and smell the dye again.

  Even though the scent is nauseating, I can think clearer. My head is killing me, but instantly, I know what the dye is doing. The scent of the toxins is overpowering Hawk’s poison.

  My head pops up, and I check to see if he noticed my reaction. His hand is currently scratching the back of his head and his gaze is at his feet. He doesn’t know.

  Testing the air, I bring the bowl away from me. I feel like myself, but there is definitely a connection to this chemical reaction.

  Standing beside my captor, I notice my hands and feet are unbound. One thought flashes across my mind: RUN!

  My eyes flick back to check on Hawk. His body is turning up to look at me. In that moment, I realize I have to keep up my act. Keep pretending. Come up with a plan.

  “This looks gross,” I say, stirring around my saving grace. My heart thunders against my chest, and I wonder suddenly if he can hear it.

  “Yeah, well, hurry up and put it in already.”

  I snap to attention, knowing I need to play this card right. It’s the only one I’ll be dealt.

  “Right,” I say, trying to sound casual. With shaky fingers, I put the brush into the bowl. A thick blob of the mix adheres itself to the nylon bristles. Slowly, I lift the brush and stroke it through the back of his hair. Dark paste begins to cover his scalp.

  My whole body trembles with fear, wondering just how long I can keep up this charade before he discovers the truth. What if he tries to kiss me or touch me? I’ll never be able to tolerate it. He’ll figure it out. He’ll tie me up again.

  No. This is my chance. I have to think logically. As I work the dye along the sides of his head, I sneak in tentative glances around the room, looking for exits.

  The front door is closest, but there are at least three locks on it. Fumbling with locks would take time, time I know Hawk wouldn’t afford me.

  To my left is the kitchen. No viable exits there. Behind me are the two bedrooms: one that I’d been held in and the other that has a door slightly ajar. Those would both be dead ends. Along the far wall is a stairwell leading upstairs with more dead ends. Which means my best option for escape is, unfortunately, the front door—and managing those locks. I bite my lip and gather more dye, inhaling deeply as I place a large dollop on the top of his head.

  I’ll need to find a way to get time alone. Even a minute could work.

  Applying the last of the solution onto Hawk’s head, I hear myself ask what may be the key to my escape: “How long do you need to leave this in before you wash it out?”

  When he goes to rinse his head off, it might be just the chance I need. While he’s busy rinsing I could be busy unlocking. All I need to do is play it cool until then.

  “What does the box say?”

  Steadying my hand, I put down the applicator brush and pick up the box and try to focus on the words.

  “Twenty minutes.”

  Twenty minutes. Assuming I could keep the lie up that long, I might have a chance. Hope dances in my heart.

  “Okay. Your turn,” Hawk says, getting up out of the chair. He stretches his arms over his head, showing off his lean body. It reminds me just how powerful he is.

  As he gestures for me to take the seat, I do my best not to look as shocked as I actually am. I’d forgotten I need to dye my hair too. For some reason I assumed we would wait to see how his came out before we did mine, but looking back on it, why would he wait? He wants us out of here. Time is against us.

  Keeping my telltale eyes to the floor, I slide into the hardness of the chair. My muscles scream from all the bruises and pulled muscles I’ve sustained, but I have to pretend none of it affects me, that I’m happy to be here with him. I grip my hands against the edge of the wood and try to keep the tension from showing in my shoulders.

  Once I’ve leaned back against the chair, he runs his hands through my tangled hair. I have to stop myself from flinching at his touch. Instead, I let out a soft moan and hope to hell it sounds like I’m enjoying his touch instead of wanting to throttle him.

  “I hate that I have to cover up your beautiful hair, but it’s only temporary. Once we’re safely in the woods, we can go back to our natural colors.”

  If my plan of escape fails and he gets us out of the country, I realize I’ll need to try to find a way to communicate his plans to Tobias. But how? It’s not like I can just grab a scrap of paper and jot down Hawk’s maniacal plan.

  My eyes drift around t
he room as Hawk continues to play with my hair.

  The only thing even close to me is the end table that holds the second unopened box of dye. That won’t help... or will it? Glancing at it again, I notice it has a lower shelf. A shelf covered in dust. I could write something in the dust...

  Biting my lip, I wait for Hawk to open the box. I’ll have to be discrete.

  “I’ve never been a big outdoors person, but I’m sure you’ll make it fun,” I say, trying to be girly. As I talk, I lower my hand and draw a picture of a tent in the dust. I’m trying to look cute, making a childish drawing, hoping he doesn’t pick up on what I’m actually doing.

  “You’re going to love it. I can make us enough money to get some good gear too, once the drug money is gone. Skins are worth a lot and I know how to bag an animal without damaging the best parts of the fur.”

  That image does little to make me feel any better.

  “It gets pretty cold out at night, though, doesn’t it?” I ask, keeping my voice as light as I can.

  His face slinks down to my ear. “I’ll keep you warm, baby, don’t you worry.”

  I clench my teeth together and force a smile.

  “Besides,” he continues, standing back up and mixing the solution again, “I’m thinking we could head some place warm... maybe the Carolinas or something. We’ll figure it out. We’ve got nothing but time now.”

  My stomach reels with the idea of us out in the woods with him. Janelle would be terrified out in the dark at night. All the more reason my escape has to work. He’s not going to lay a finger on my daughter.

  “We’ll be happy there, Jada. I promise. We’ll finally be a family.”

  I swallow down the lump in my throat, but I have to contain myself.

  “Mmmm,” is all I can manage.

  Surprising me, he drops the bowl on the table and rounds the corner of the chair and kneels down in front of me. His piercing blue eyes lock me in place.

  “I’m going to make you happy, Jada. I promise.”

  Unavoidable tears run from the corners of my eyes.

  Mistaking them for tears of joy, he catches one with the pad of his thumb and licks it off. “I love you, Jada. So much.”

  His lips crash down onto mine before I can even register the movement. I will myself to melt into his kiss. I conjure up every image of Tobias that I can to make the façade work. Holding back the bile, I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer. When his tongue worms its way into my mouth, I have to force myself not to bite it off.

  Tobias

  By the time I finally get onto a bus, I’m beyond winded. It’s been over an hour just trying to get my butt in this seat. My lungs are burning and I need my inhaler, but I can’t stop until I’ve found Jada. I just can’t. Not when she’s this close.

  The bus bumps and thrusts itself down the road while I try to slow my breathing. I need to be at my best once I get off this rig. Why didn’t I bring my inhaler!

  Taking out Jada’s e-port, I message Kari that I’m on the bus and will let her know when I find them. If I find them.

  Her reply back comes faster than I expect.

  “Which bus are you on?” her reply reads.

  “#12,” I type. “Getting off at Montmorency in a few.”

  I’m just about to shove the screen back in when a second message comes across.

  “Good. I’m there now. Been waiting for you forever. I’ll explain when you get here.”

  What? Kari’s at the bus stop? I try to send her a message back, but the screen goes black. The battery just died. Of course.

  What is going on? Why is Kari at the Montmorency stop? And why would she drag Janelle with her? Kari’s the one who told me taking Janelle was reckless, and of course, after I calmed down, I completely agreed. So what happened to make her change her mind and risk bringing my daughter into this?

  A cycle of scenarios rages in my head, and none of them are good. One thing is for sure, Kari is going to get Janelle out of here. I am not risking her safety. No way in hell.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Tobias

  When the bus finally arrives, I see Kari wringing her hands together and pacing. My eyes dart immediately to the bench beside her. Janelle isn’t anywhere in sight. In that second, my worst fears dance inside my head. Hawk has my daughter.

  The second the doors open, I start my attack.

  “Where is Janelle?” I shout at her.

  Kari shrinks back against my tone but frowns a second later.

  “Calm down, she’s fine. She’s with your neighbor.”

  “Ms. Skillings? Why?” The bus pulls away from the curb, its loud engine drowning out parts of my rant. “Why is she there, Kari? I left her with you because I knew she’d be safe with you! What if Hawk comes back for her? You don’t think when no one answers his knock he’ll just walk away, do you? He’ll find her, Kari. You have to go back. You have to get Janelle and take her somewhere. Anywhere! Just get her out of that apartment until I contact you!”

  Kari stands calmly beside me as my face grows red with rage. Of course, all that yelling has left me in even worse shape than I was. I clap a hand to my chest, willing my lungs to calm down.

  She sighs at my overexerted condition and takes my arm. She leads me over to a bench just under a willow tree and makes me sit. As I struggle with my breathing, Kari looks over her shoulder, as though to make sure no one’s listening.

  “Tobias, I know you’re flying off the handle right now, but you need to calm down and listen to what I have to say.”

  Clenching my fists in frustration, I say, “Talk fast.”

  Kari lets out a quick exhalation before she begins.

  “After you left, Janelle started... talking funny.”

  My body tenses at her expression. She has been saying some pretty spooky things lately. “Funny how?”

  Kari’s face scrunches up. “I don’t know how to explain this without sounding crazy.”

  “Just tell me!”

  “Okay, calm down. After you left, Janelle went over to the window to watch you leave, but then she closed her eyes for a long time. I thought for a moment that she’d gone off and fallen asleep on me, but then she popped her eyes open and she started talking, only—it wasn’t her voice, Tobias.”

  “What are you talking about?” I ask.

  She blows air out of her mouth and bites the edge of her lip. “This is where the crazy part begins. You remember Naya and Etash?”

  I cock my head to the side. Why is she asking about them? What do they have to do with anything? They died years ago, but I humor her with the information she wants me to tell her.

  “Yeah?”

  Kari rubs her eyes. “The night they died... I was at the ER. They were still working on Etash, hoping they could bring him back. He’d been stabbed in the lung. His left lung.”

  “So?”

  “And it just so happens that your left lung is diseased.”

  “What are you trying to say, Kari? That the reason my lung is infected is because some kid got knifed in his lung?”

  Her eyes tell me that is, indeed, what she’s trying to say.

  “You don’t think it’s more than just a coincidence that the night he died from a puncture to his left lung, you show up on this earth with a problem in your left lung not two seconds after he died?”

  “Okay, I’ll admit the idea is creepy, but what does that have to do with finding Jada!” I know I’m shouting, but I don’t understand where this is going. We’re wasting time! Time Jada might not have.

  Kari wrings her hands again. A strand of her graying hair falls across her face, catching against her lip, a lip that is now trembling. “I know this doesn’t seem important right now, and maybe it isn’t, but maybe it’s everything. I just don’t know!” She throws her hands up in the air and takes a few steps away from me.

  Something tells me to cut her some slack and listen to why she came out here.

  “I’m sorry, Kari,” I say. “I’m just ki
nda going out of my mind over here. Finish your story. If it will help find Jada, then I need to know what’s going on.”

  Kari’s forehead wrinkles with concern, but she begins again.

  “Okay. While they were still trying to save Etash in the hospital, I was in the ER, waiting for some bit of good news from all of it. My best friend had already died a few minutes earlier, but I held out hope that Etash would make it.” Her eyes overflowed with tears, and I suddenly felt like a jerk for not being more sympathetic earlier.

  “While I was bawling my head off, still reeling from it all, an elderly woman came and sat beside me. It was Etash’s grandmother. His whole family was there, praying and crying. It was awful.” Kari wipes away a few of the tears from her face. “Anyway, his grandmother was from India or somewhere because she had this thick accent. She told me she had the gift to see the future. I thought she was nuts, but I let her talk because it seemed like she needed to tell me something.” Kari paused as though trying to pull herself together. “She told me that her grandson was gone from this world, but he would be reborn. She said Naya would be too, and that their love would help them find each other again. I smiled and nodded, but I didn’t believe her. A few seconds after she told me this, the docs came out to let Etash’s family know he’d passed away.”

  She paused to take some great gulps of air. I didn’t want to be insensitive, but I didn’t see what this had to do with anything.

  “I’m not trying to be an ass, but why are you mentioning Etash’s grandmother?” I say the words carefully, afraid I might set her off.

  “Because when your daughter finally opened her eyes and spoke, it was with the voice of Etash’s grandmother. Even though I heard it years ago, I would recognize that accent anywhere.”

  I gape at her, my mouth partially open.

  “You want me to believe that my daughter is possessed by Etash’s grandmother?” The disbelief in my voice is thick, but I don’t care. This is insane.

  I stand up from the bench and glare at Kari.