D.O.R.K. Series Box Set: Diary of a Rocker's Kid, The Sister Code, Twin Wars

by Haley Allison

  Logan: You’re amazing. I still can’t believe you chose me.

  Me: Believe it, babe.

  Somehow, I’m already feeling a tug at my fingers to type the words “I love you.” It’s ridiculous—we barely just kissed—but it feels natural. I was so cautious with Gio, and now I know it was for a good reason, but with Logan it already seems safe. I know I should wait for a better time, though, so I stop myself from writing the words.

  Me: Can’t wait to see you later this week.

  Logan: I’ll be counting down the days. Wanna go out right after practice on Saturday?

  Me: Duh. I thought that was a given ;)

  Logan: Lol. Just making sure. I’ve already got something planned.

  Me: Looking forward to it :) G2g, ttyl.

  Logan: Ttyl, Princess.

  Locking my phone, I approach the covered walkway, still grinning from ear to ear. When Logan calls me Princess, it’s not derisive. It’s him telling me how he sees me. I know this because he never ceases to spoil me rotten.

  I pass by Raven without even a glance in her direction. When I enter the school, I’m relieved that for once no one is staring at me. I’m rounding the corner to head to my locker when I pass by the same janitorial closet and the same pair of arms reaches out and grabs me.

  When Kiki pulls me into the closet, closes the door, and flashes her light in my face, I groan.

  “Kiki, you’ve really got to stop kidnapping me like this.”

  “Sorry,” she whispers. Her face is lit up with excitement. “I just wanted to let you know you have a prime opportunity to upstage your sister…” She leans down closer to my face. “Literally.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Kiki pulls out a paper from God knows where and holds it in the light. “Read this.”

  Squinting, I scan the flyer in the dim lighting.

  Wilcox High School Talent Show

  All students are encouraged to participate. Based on previous years, talent scouts will likely be in the audience. Great opportunity for seniors to be discovered. Please note that spaces are limited, so some candidates may not be selected to perform.

  “So…Raven’s involved in this?”

  “She won the last two years by a landslide,” Kiki informs me.

  “Why does Raven need a talent show? She’s already an actress. Isn’t that a waste of time she could be spending, oh I dunno, making money? Getting more famous? Isn’t that what she is all about?” Bitterness drips from every word.

  “I know, it sounds insane, but this talent show means a lot to her. Probably because being the top performer at this school means a lot to her. She never was that popular as an actress in Hollywood, even though Jess’s fame bought her a lot of parts, but here at Wilcox, she’s a sensation. If you joined the talent show and competed against her, I bet you’d have a fighting chance, and she would be crushed if she lost to her own sister.”

  Hmm…crushing Raven? In a non-violent setting where she’d have to behave in front of people? I like this notion.

  “If you’re interested, the sign-up form is on the big bulletin board in the lobby across from the trophy cabinet.” Kiki stashes the paper away and smiles. Her smile seems slightly crooked in the shadows of her iPhone light.

  I smile back. “Thanks, Kiki. I think I will sign up.”

  Kiki nods and crosses in front of me to exit the closet. A few seconds later, I come out, trying not to be conspicuous. I sneak back toward the lobby and run into Dalton on the way, almost literally. Narrowly escaping collision with him, I step to the side and laugh.

  “Sorry, dude. Didn’t see you there.”

  Dalton pulls me into the lobby and huddles against the side wall. At first I think he’s about to kiss me, and I’m going to have to explain to him that I’m with Logan now, so the revenge plot is off. Then as he crosses his blazer-clad arms in front of him, I notice the worry screwing up his face. “Hey…why didn’t you tell me you were into my cousin?”

  “I didn’t think anything was going to happen. It seemed like he only saw me as a friend—”

  “Are you kidding?” Dalton’s eyes are bright amber with stress. “The dude is obsessed with you. Ever since last summer, you’ve been his idol.”

  “Really?” A smile stretches my face. I almost let out a squeal. Normally I’d be turned off to hear a guy was obsessed with me, but since it’s Logan, my heart is flying over the moon.

  “Yeah, he’s crazy about you, and I had no idea you were into him. If he found out I kissed you…” One of Dalton’s arms goes up to grasp his neck and rub it hard enough to start a fire. “Let’s just say the band might be missing a drummer.”

  All the blood drains from my head. “What?”

  “We have a deal: hands off each other’s girls. That applies to all the girls I go out with and whoever he’s with. I’m barely allowed to look at you now, let alone kiss you. Even though it was before you were together, I knew how he felt about you, and I…” He blows out a sigh, swinging his head back and forth. “I was an idiot, Mads. I may have screwed us completely over.”

  Anger boils inside me. “If you knew Logan liked me, why did you kiss me in the first place?”

  “Revenge against Raven,” he answers honestly. “We both wanted it. It was a stupid snap decision that now I seriously regret.”

  “So…should we tell him?” Tears prick my eyes at the thought. Even imagining telling Logan “I kissed Dalton” makes me feel like dying inside.

  “No.” Dalton shakes his sandy-haired head with fervor. “He can’t know about this. Not now. Maybe once we’re signed.”

  “But it was just a stupid kiss that didn’t mean anything—”

  “Exactly.” Dalton leans forward to command eye contact. “That’s why we don’t need to tell him. It’s never going to happen again. We need to forget about it and move on.”

  Guilt weighs so heavily on me that my knees buckle. If it’s this serious to Logan, I feel like I should tell him. Keeping secrets from him this early on in the relationship—even if it’s unofficial—is bad news. Still, Dalton’s right. The kiss was a dumb one-time thing. There’s no reason to ruin what Logan and I have because of it.

  I sigh and shrug with defeat. “Fine. But if this whole thing blows up in our faces, I’m holding you responsible.”

  Dalton swallows a lump in his throat with effort. “Noted.”

  Spinning on my heels, I continue my route to the billboard with the talent show sign-up sheet tacked to it. Lots of names are already scribbled on the lines. It’s almost full already. I find one of the last slots available and fill in my name, hoping I’m one of the people they choose to perform. I need as much practice on a stage as I can get.

  I happen to look up at the top of the list and see Raven’s name written first. Beside her name is the talent she chose—

  Singing.

  My stomach lurches with fear. I know how good her singing is from listening to her in the car. She lied when she told me she didn’t plan to do anything about it. I can’t believe I thought she’d actually tell the truth about something like that.

  After I turn away from the billboard, dejected, Dalton takes out a pen and writes his own name. I look closer and realize he’s writing his name on the same line as mine.

  “Hey! That’s my slot!” I scowl at him.

  “I know, dummy.” Dalton clicks his pen closed and turns to me with a smirk. “We’re going to perform together.”

  My hands go to my hips. This dude is pissing me off enough lately. Now he has the nerve to hijack my talent show slot? Oh hell no.

  “What gives you that idea?”

  Dalton leans down so close I can feel the vibrations of his deep voice seep through the ground into my toes.

  “Do you want to beat Raven or not?”

  Huffing, I give the idea some thought. I really do have a better chance of beating her if Dalton sings with me. Our voices are great apart, but together they’re miraculous. I let my hands fall to
my sides and nod. As much as I don’t want to admit it, Dalton’s right again. I need all the help I can get.

  November 23

  What He Doesn’t Know…

  Dalton and I kissed, twice, and now he says that because of an agreement between him and Logan, we have to keep it secret. It feels so wrong to do things this way. I don’t want to lie to Logan. Surely if I’m honest with him, he’ll respect that and be okay with it. I mean, the kisses didn’t mean shit. Dalton and I will only ever be just friends.

  Then again, Dalton probably knows Logan best. Maybe I should just trust him. They’re cousins, basically brothers. I should probably let it go. I’m going to feel terrible when I pull apart from Logan and remember I kissed his cousin, though. If I could just tell him, that guilt would go away and we could start fresh with no lies.

  My biggest fear is that this relationship is going to crumble on a foundation of secrets. Logan and I are so right for each other. It would be hard to lose him, especially if he quit the band.

  Hell, I miss him even when he’s across the city from me.

  Thursday is Thanksgiving, and instead of going to visit Nana, we’re staying here and Melissa is going to Skype with us to let us see her. Dad and Cass are going to attempt a turkey dinner for the first time since they’ve lived here. I’m sure it’s going to turn out great. I would have invited Logan over, but he told me he was going to visit his mom in New York before I even asked, so I didn’t say anything. It’s a little early for that anyway.

  Ugh, so sick of the secrets and lies, especially when I get sucked into it…can life just be simple again? I’m kinda sad I’m not going to Kentucky. I could use a break from this hellhole.

  Ttyl,

  Mads

  Listening to Melissa and Nana struggle to navigate Skype is the most entertainment I’ve had in a while. They’re helpless over there in no man’s land without us. I’m almost wishing I’d sent Ana over to help them with it before they tried to call us. How hard can it be to push a video call button? I giggle from my place at the bar where we’re unceremoniously eating our Thanksgiving dinner.

  Finally, the call comes through, and Dad answers it on the laptop and hangs up the iPhone he was using to communicate with them. Melissa, Dad’s slightly-graying younger sister, is the first one we see. She’s pretty much a female version of her brother. Her deep brown eyes light up at the sight of Dad.

  “Hey, Mikey!”

  “Hey, Mel. Glad to finally see you.”

  “You too,” Melissa says with a chuckle. “Man, I’m tellin’ you, technology and I do not mix.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re the one stayin’ with Momma then. You’d never survive out here,” Dad quips.

  “Damn straight,” Melissa agrees. She peeks behind Dad to see me. Her special “aunt smile” takes over her face. “There’s my favorite niece!”

  “Hey, Melissa.” Melissa refuses to be called “aunt” even though she’s the proudest one I’ve ever met. When I was little, she used to show my picture to everyone she met until Dad told her to stop because he was worried about our identity getting out there.

  “Man, I can hardly believe you’re eighteen.” She shakes her head in wonderment. “Seems like yesterday your daddy called me up with the most shockin’ news I’ve ever heard. ‘Sorry for wakin’ you, Melissa. Guess what I found in a basket outside the front gate tonight?’”

  I laugh. “I never thought about that. It must have been pretty jarring.”

  “Yes, it was. I broke down cryin’ on the phone. It was equal parts joy and fear that you wouldn’t survive in that lunatic’s hands long enough for me to meet you.” She gestures to Dad, who’s wearing a mock scowl. Cass and I break down into giggles. “But then he turned out to be the greatest daddy I’ve ever known, so it’s all right.”

  “Can I get a word in edgewise around here?” Nana grumbles from her place beside Melissa. The camera is turned toward her, and Nana’s sharp dark eyes bore a hole right through my skull. “Young lady, I’ve seen the headlines. You’d better be behavin’ yourself over there. I didn’t raise no hussy.”

  I sigh, falling from the height of amusement I was at just a moment ago. “I’m trying, Nana.”

  “Datin’ the same boy as your sister is something you knew better than to do—”

  “Momma, please.” Dad interjects, holding the camera in his direction. “Let’s not ruin our happy Thanksgivin’ with a scoldin’, okay? Mads knows what she did was wrong. Trust me. She’s paid for it amply.”

  A dull burn settles in my chest. I didn’t want to be reminded of what happened with Raven and Gio, especially today. Nana doesn’t know the whole story, and I don’t know if she’d even understand fully if we told her. Everything is cut and dried to her. There are no gray areas. In her mind, I did wrong by going out with Gio again and I should be punished, plain and simple, even though in reality I was the one who got hurt.

  The rest of the conversation is filled with the usual exchange of “Happy Thanksgiving” and telling what we’re thankful for. I mutter something about being thankful for my family and having a car, still sulking a little. By the time the conversation is over, my mind is eaten up by guilt and pain and I can’t even eat my delicious meal. Cass notices my depression and puts her arm around me.

  “Sweetie, don’t let her get you down like this. You know your Nana. She loves you and wants the best for you even though she’s got a weird way of showing it sometimes.”

  Letting my shoulders fall, I push my potatoes around and nod. It’s not just Raven and Gio I’m thinking about. Now I’m thinking about Logan and wondering if I moved too fast by kissing him. It still aches whenever I remember Gio’s kisses or words of love. How must Logan feel about Claire since he was with her for two years? These reminders are not going away any time soon. How do I know Claire isn’t going to flash into his mind while he’s kissing me?

  The thought makes me shudder. I need to talk to him about this when he gets back. For now, I’ll try to push these negative thoughts away and remember what I have to be thankful for.

  Early the next morning, I hear someone buzz in on the intercom. Our housekeeper Kelsey lets them in, and I guess Dad and Cass must already be awake, because the shriek I hear downstairs confirms it. Who in the world would be visiting us at this hour? And who would Cass freak out about seeing like this?

  I rub my eyes and sit up from my bed, feeling the Thanksgiving after-burn. Ugh. So much heartburn…

  Pressing my hand against my chest, I swallow down a burp and reach for the hoodie I keep beside me in bed. I slip it on over my head, get up from the bed, and cross to the door to go downstairs.

  Yawning, I trudge down the steps, squinting through my early morning haze to see who woke me. It’s barely even light out. Kelsey is in the entryway hanging Christmas lights already, so I ask her what’s going on.

  “Just go into the kitchen,” she says with a half-smile. “You’ll see.”

  I grunt and obey, feeling annoyed at this whole thing. My annoyance fades instantly as soon as I see who came to visit us.

  “Ana?” My face tightens with unshed tears. I haven’t seen her in months, and now she shows up out of the blue.

  Ana forces a smile. I notice her own eyes are red with tears. They’re so swollen I’d guess she spent the whole night crying. “Hey, girl.”

  “What are you doing here?” I choke back a sob.

  She jumps up from her stool at the bar and falls into my arms. I squeeze her tightly, letting confusion and relief spin me into a whirlwind.

  “Um…” Her voice breaks. I tighten my hold around her. “I kinda did something dumb.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I…I told my family about Jerica…”

  My chest clenches painfully. “Oh, shit…”

  She nods and breaks down into tears. Dad and Cass take their leave and go outside so we won’t be interrupted. I lead a helpless Ana into the living room, where we sit down on the couch together and I let he
r cry as hard and as long as she needs to. While I’m comforting her, I secretly send a text to Jerica, whom I’ve kept in touch with off and on since Ana left for Kentucky back in the summer. In our few conversations, I’ve realized how much they love each other, and I feel comfortable enough to send this.

  Me: Ana is at my house. Please come if you can.

  Best friends are great, but when you’ve been rejected by your own blood, you need a reminder of why you let it happen.

  Ana knows she doesn’t have to tell me what happened, but after her sobs subside, she lets me in on the whole story.

  “We were going around the table at dinner telling what we were thankful for. I had been feeling for a while that I was ready to tell them about Jerica, so I decided to tell them I was thankful for my girlfriend. Dad was like, ‘You mean your best friend, Mads, right?’ I could have pretended that was what I meant, but I just…”

  Ana stops to blow her nose in a tissue I offer her from our end table.

  “Thanks. I was ready to tell the truth. Jerica is my life. I know I don’t talk about her much, but that’s because I was afraid of them overhearing me. Keeping her a secret was about to kill me.” Ana’s sweet face hardens with bitterness. It pains me to see such a bright light dimmed by hatred and rejection. “I’m so tired of being afraid. I gave them the whole story, and…” She gestures around us. “Well, of course, as you can see, it didn’t go so well.”

  “Oh, Ana…”

  I pull her into my embrace again. Such a brave, strong girl, and yet her family is willing to miss out on her life because of who she’s in love with. I knew how her parents felt about different forms of sexuality, but they seemed like such kind, caring people that I never thought they would turn their backs on their own blood. Ana’s still in high school. She’s the same grade as me. She was so close to graduating, and now there’s no telling what will happen to her.

  “Why?” She sobs inconsolably into my shoulder. “Why can’t they just let me be happy?”